


Close To The Edge

by Purplesprout



Series: Munkustrap [1]
Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Casualty, Cat/Human Hybrids, Cats, Character Death, Dancing and Singing, Disabled Character, Fights, Fluff and Mush, Forced Prostitution, Heartbreak, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealousy, London, Love, Magic, Mental Anguish, Multi, Mystery, Pole Dancing, Polygamy, Relationship Issues, Romance, Sibling Rivalry, Singing, Songs to match, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 15:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 135,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13169886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplesprout/pseuds/Purplesprout
Summary: A tom lies in a pool of blood. Someone wanted him dead, and now it's up to the new queen to try to save him. But the odds are stacked against him, and his time is running out...





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Just bare in mind, this was an experiment to see if I could actually do this thing: write a story people will want to read.   
> Turns out, I suck. Is that gonna stop me? F*ck no!   
> As with any new skill, one must allow time for improvement (in my case, a lot of time), thus am continually working on this to try to make it better (some bits are better than others, sorry!)   
> But hey, someone wise once said: Good things can take a long time!   
> However, tips would be greatly appreciated! I'm devouring every prompt and piece of advice going, because I really want this to be good, so badly!!!
> 
>    
> Disclaimer: The only things I own in this story are my OC's: Doctor Jazzie, Lucitana, Norstara, Hortenseya, Hooker, Tesslar, Poseidon, Maclarren, Mickenzie, Sophia, The Manx/ Mansur, The Ocicat, Goblyn, Meritas, Cindykit, Ajax, Anchises, Delasole, Elias, Hesione, Oenone, Dolcie, Dawson, Gaiana, Paris, Archimedes, Ariadne, Thoran, Nellita, White Bear Merlin, Starlit Dawn, Thor Iron Claw, Iris Dew-Eye, Minky Shona, Morning Rey De Solei, Scrumpletailer, Tomas, Iphigenia, Firanz, Kaleidahan and Thessalonika. A big thank you to anyone else whose ideas I borrowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: this chapter comes with a tissue warning.

He lay on the ground, fur caked with blood.  
  
Excruciating pain ran through his body, the last thing he would ever feel. And as this cruel notion came to him, he realised he no longer cared. He closed his eyes and drifted away… _  
_ _  
_ _He was a kitten, blind and helpless, huddled with his siblings inside a soggy, cardboard box, trying to extract what little warmth there was. He shivered, blindly searching for something to ease his cold and hunger... until he bumped into another wriggling body. Could this be Her?_ _  
_ _  
_ _No._ _  
_ _  
_ _Disappointingly, it was just his sister! Becoming distressed, he began to cry. Cry, cry and cry, sobbing and bleating as loud as his tiny lungs would allow…! Still, nobody came..._ _  
_ _  
_ _But, suddenly, there she was!_ _  
_ _  
_ _He couldn't remember how, but he had somehow managed to escape the confinement of the box and was lying spreadeagled on the rough concrete._ _  
_ _  
_ _He picked up her scent, first of all. Then, he saw her! It had to be her: Short, peuter fur, marbled with charcoal stripes and leopard spots seemed to shine in the eerie glow; while a wig of long, silver hair flowed passed her shoulders and danced around her face as though the wind were toying with it..._ _  
_ _  
_ _Accompanied by a familiar, soft smile on her lips, she opened her arms and said in a voice soft and melodic, "Come to me!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _Overjoyed, he began to crawl, furiously kicking his feeble limbs to try to shuffle forwards... No wait! That was backwards!_ _  
_ _  
_ _All the while, blinking furiously to keep open eyes that wanted nothing more than to fuse shut, he began to mew. "Where have you been? I'm cold! I'm hungry!!!" was what he desperately wanted to say (except, all that came out was, "Mama?")_ _  
_ _  
_ _But as he struggled to get near, her encouraging smile gradually faded, to be replaced by a look of desolation. She turned away, appearing to be distracted by something he could neither see nor hear... "I'm sorry...!" She whispered, taking one final glance at him. Then fled into the dark!_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Wait, Mama...!" He cried, but she didn't return._  
  
_Alone and confused, he wrapped his tail around himself and started to rub his eyes with his paws, trying his hardest not to cry… But the more he tried not to, the louder his wails became, until they filled the night air like the lonely screams of some tortured machine…!_

* * *

  
  
"Munkustrap? Munkustrap?! Can you hear me? Speak to me!"

Someone was shaking him, ever so gently, but the wave of pain it generated was enough to jolt him back to horrific reality!  
  
A paw slipped into his, the owner fighting to keep her voice calm. "It's alright! I'm here…!" She said.  
  
"Jazz…?" He gasped. “You're alive?!”  
  
"Yes, I'm… fine! I don't think you are, though!”

“... I don't think I am... either… I can't... breathe!”

“Then don't try to talk, dammit! Save your strength-!”  
  
He gripped her paw! Gripped on for dear life as he battled through another wave of torture...!  
  
"You're in pain!" She cried. "Where does it hurt?! Tell me!"  
  
"Everywhere..." came the reply, his breaths coming short and fast.  
  
"No! Don't fade away on me!!! You must fight this! Fight it!!!"  
  
"I can't…!" He was trying. God knew he was trying! "I love you... Jazz… so you know… sorry about... all this..."  
  
He felt her touch, her paw caressing his face as she responded, sounding desperate, as though her words would somehow keep him alive a little longer... "I love you too… so, so much...! Don't leave me...!!! Munkustrap?! Stay with me...!!!"  
  
He blinked, trying to fight through the descending dark haze... and almost cried at what he saw. Two pools, wide and fearful... filled with adoration and blinding grief... he could no longer hear what she was saying...  
  
"Your eyes... my love..." he whispered, struggling for the last vestiges of air. "How blue they are… how blue..."  
  
The words hardly made it to her ears, but that didn't matter. His face had frozen. He had taken his final breath and could see no more...

* * *

 

Slowly, he opened his eyes.  
  
Lifting his head, he took in the unfamiliarity of the surroundings: the strangely featureless landscape, with not a tree, bush or even a building in sight. At least, if there was anything to be seen out there, he sure as hell could neither see nor smell it! Not through the blanket of snow that was falling, and had almost buried him as well!  
  
Fearing he would be buried completely, he began to test his limbs, releasing them from their icy prison.  
  
Stiff with cold, they protested at the movement, while heavy clods of snow slid from his back and splattered onto the ground. He brushed the rest of the snow from his fur, realising something. No blood!  
  
Further checks found his body to be free of wounds, all pain had gone, plus- how good did it feel to be able to breathe?! So? The air he was breathing was a bit strange, as though it wasn't _quite_ air... but he didn't care! He was grateful to be able to breathe _something,_ whatever it was!  
  
Then his paw brushed against something unexpected... "Huh? What's this...?" He muttered, looking down at the strip of brown leather positioned diagonally across his chest. It was attached to a thinner strip that was belted snuggly around his waist, a bit like a harness.  
  
Curious, he followed the diagonal strap with his paw, reaching up and over his shoulder until he felt the rough handle of a samurai sword. What was most puzzling was how it had come to be strapped to his back in the first place! Someone must have put it there without his knowledge. But who-?  
  
_"Are you ready Munkustrap?"_  
  
He almost jumped out of his skin as a disembodied voice echoed around him, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time!  
  
Shivering violently, he wrapped his arms around himself and turned to look behind...  
  
There, framed by snow and ice, was a wooden chapel that he was certain hadn't been there a moment ago!  
  
But, desperate to get out of the elements, he shielded his face against the driving snow, climbed the steps and pushed the heavy, wooden door. To his relief, it creaked open, and he entered into a cavernous space, letting the door whine shut behind him.  
  
Ready for anything unexpected, he proceeded with caution, taking care to keep to the shadows so as not to be seen by whatever might be lurking...  
  
And something was definitely there!  
  
He could sense the tingles of its presence on his whiskers, as he crept from one wooden column to another as silently as only a cat could, keeping his wits about him (and one paw on the sword, just in case!)  
  
Looking up, he saw that the column he was crouching behind towered to a great height, supporting a high, arched ceiling, along with many more lining the outer perimeter of the building. While, before him, the space was filled with church candles.  
  
In fact, there were candles everywhere: on the floor, on the tables, even lining the pues on either side of the aisle, that led to a short flight of wooden steps; which, in turn, led up to high marble altar. This was draped with a black cloth, and festooned with yet more candles.  
  
There was also a strange figure hunched in front of it, with its back to him.  
  
Munkustrap gave an involuntary shiver, which, in hindsight, was most odd, seeing as, what with all the candles, you'd think that the room, though spacious, would be nice and toasty? But in reality, it was no warmer than outside!  
  
_"Are you ready to go?"_ it asked again, in a rasping whisper of a voice that sounded more like the wind that moans through the gap in a door frame on a cold winter's night.  
  
It was a voice that washed over Munkustrap like an icy torrent, his stomach churning with the realisation that it was well aware of his presence! His fur, too, stood on end! "Go where?" He asked.  
  
_"Why, to join my army of Dead, of course,"_ came the reply. _"Your Soul will make a FINE addition."_  
  
Feeling a shudder trickle down his back, Munkustrap began to back away slowly... "Errr… thanks... I think I'll pass on that…!"  
  
Something told him that he did NOT want the figure to stand up and face him... but that's exactly what it did! Slowly… stealthily… growing like a bubble in a tar pit… moving like a creeping shadow…!  
  
He gasped in horror!  
  
The cloak, blacker than black itself, hung from the waif like figure as though there was little more than bones underneath, while a terrifying emptiness stared out at him from beneath the folds of its hood!  
  
There was something deeply unsettling about it! Not helped in any way by the object that it grasped in its skeletal claws: a long scythe; which the figure raised threateningly as it began to move, stiffly and jerkily, down the steps towards him, with its ragged cloak trailing behind!  
  
_"Bring your Soul to me!"_ It hissed.  
  
"No-!" Munkustrap whispered, backing away further.  
  
_"NO?"_  
  
And even in this dire situation, Munkustrap couldn't resist a sarcastic retort, “I'd much rather keep it, if you don't mind! It tends to come in handy now and again…!"  
  
His voice trailed away, as The Reaper raised the scythe even higher, ready to strike, while the candles flickered and died as it passed them, as though it were sucking the warmth out of the air around it!

"Stay back!" He shouted, keen to keep as much distance between himself and that Thing as felinely possible... even as it continued to close the gap!  
  
It was then that he noticed the smell!  
  
Like a thousand, putrid corpses, it hung in his nostrils and throat, heavy, and so sickly that it made him want to gag!  
  
_"But you are dead! You are MINE!"_ it hissed.  
  
Munkustrap's ears were flat against his skull! With the Hellish figure almost upon him, his survival instincts snatched the controls and he turned and bolted for the exit!  
  
_"Very well,"_ said the Deathly Figure, as Munkustrap yanked open the doors and snow blew into his face!  
  
Ignoring its menacing chuckle, he cleared the steps in a single leap and landed in a crouching position, with the fullest intention of running for his life!  
  
However, when he looked up, what he saw made his heart sink into his toes! "What the…? Oh, you have GOT TO BE JOKING...!"  
  
A horrifying apparition reared up out of the snow, growing and unfolding until it towered above him! No sooner had its armoured joints finished clunking into place, then it let out a tortured scream, thrashing its robotic arms- with fists the size of two mini hatchbacks, one of which was wielding a great battleaxe! And with a series of tooth- shattering whines and creaks, it turned its rusty, mechanical head towards him!  
  
"Oh, great! Now, I'm doomed!" Munkustrap thought, swallowing his dread back down, along with the knowledge that his prediction wasn’t far off!  
  
For no sooner had its two beams landed on him, like two deadly spotlights, then it began to lurch towards him with terrifying speed! And it clearly wasn't up for negotiating! It was going to annihilate him, and wasn't going to show him a shred of mercy! In fact, it looked incapable of doing anything apart from destroying whatever lay within its path, leaving Munkustrap with two options. Fight. Or die.  
  
"So be it!" He muttered, and drew the katana, brandishing it as the ground shook from the thunder of monstrous feet, growing louder and louder!

With a roar, he charged towards it!


	2. Eyes

_Three Weeks Earlier..._

A pair of dichroic eyes studied the young queen with keen interest, watching her as she danced and sang as part of a quartette. Like a pair of gemstones, the colour of them was very unusual: aqua apatite, encircled by an outer ring of honey citrine; with the slit pupils dilating in the dim glow as they collided momentarily with her empyrian gaze, the moment so brief, like a shooting star... over in a blink, leaving you wondering whether or not it had even happened; but feeling the small thrill of knowing, in the back of your mind, that something was there... even if it was nothing more than the puff of smoke trailing behind.

* * *

 _"Des yeux qui font baisser les miens_ _  
_ _Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche_ _  
_ _Voilà le portrait sans retouche_ _  
_ _De l'homme auquel j'appartiens_ _  
_ _Quand il me prend dans ses bras_ _  
_ _Il me parle tout bas_ _  
_ _Je vois la vie en rose_ _  
_ _Il me dit des mots d'amour_ _  
_ _Des mots de tous le jours_ _  
_ _Et ça me fait quelque chose_ _  
_ _Il est entré dans mon coeur_ _  
_ _Une part de bonheur_ _  
_ _Dont je connais la cause_ _  
_ _C'est lui pour moi_ _  
_ _Moi pour lui_ _  
_ _Dans la vie_ _  
_ _Il me l'a dit, l'a juré pour la vie_ _  
_ _Et dès que je l'aperçois_ _  
_ _Alors je sens en moi, mon coeur qui bat_ _  
_ _When he takes me in his arms_ _  
_ _And whispers love to me_ _  
_ _Everything's lovely_ _  
_ _It's him for me and me for him_ _  
_ _All our lives_ _  
_ _And it's so real what I feel_ _  
_ _This is why_ _  
_ _Et dès que je l'aperçois_ _  
_ _Alors je sens en moi, mon coeur qui bat_ _  
_ _La vie_ _  
_ _La vie en rose, la vie en rose_ _  
_ _Ooooooooh, la vie_ _  
_ _La vie en rose_ _  
_ _La vie en rose, la vie en rose_ _  
_ _La vie en rose, la vie en rose_ _  
_ _La vie en rose, la vie en rose_ _  
_ _La vie en rose, la vie en rose_ _  
_ _Je t'aime voir toujours!"_

(La Vie En Rose by Grace Jones)

Jazzie sang dolefully to the crowd, enthralling all who listened with her crystalline mezzo soprano, and thrilling them still further by performing an amazing pole dancing routine at the same time...

Draping her slender legs around the smooth metal, she lifted herself up and twirled herself around it, while some of the more rowdy members of the crowd cheered and wolf whistled their approval... neither noticing, least of all caring, for the sadness in her eyes, nor the furtive smile she flashed towards her backing singers as they reached their finale, with each queen balancing precariously on her own little platform; just so that she could be admired from all angles.

She was a Seal point Snowshoe, her mother having been a Siamese; while her father? Even  _she_ wasn't sure! Her coat was a mixture of cream and sable, merging into a light chestnut which extended down her arms and legs, but was abruptly cut off by a stark flash of white, the striking contrast of her paws and feet looking as though she was wearing a set of dainty gloves and boots. Her chest was pure white too, as was her muzzle, but with a mask of brown over her eyes (which themselves were the colour of robins' eggs).

And her backing singers were equally as divine! Lucitana was a blue and cinnamon coloured Abyssinian, with ticked tabby markings and jade eyes; while Norstara (an Egyptian Mau) had a gorgeous, sleek figure and gooseberry green eyes, with long legs and a light silver coat. Her body was peppered with black spots and she even had a distinctive 'scarab beetle tattoo' on her forehead. Last, but by no means least, was the peridot eyed Hortenseya, who, as a Korat, stood proud, always regal and defiant in spite of her desperate predicament; with her unique coat completely blue black with silver tips, that shimmered whenever she moved. It was no accident that the beautiful queens were here in the seedy club known as Dirty Harry's, for, in the wings were more sad but beautiful queens awaiting  _their_ turn to take to the stage...

As Jazzie and her adopted sisters drifted into the crowd of ogling ruffians, dancing and shimmying to their jeers and smirks, a cloaked figure suddenly whistled her over. With a sigh, she plastered a smile onto her face as she made her way to stand in front of him, and began to dance... trying not to think about what he was doing as she provocatively wiggled her hips and shimmied her shoulders just inches from his face... Pah! She could guess at what he was thinking, which probably wasn't an awful lot!

Despite having been dancing for the pleasure of sordid toms for some time, she still felt horribly exposed and humiliated. Her skin never failing to crawl when she felt their eyes burning into her, presumably thinking about all the horrid things they wanted to do to her as they lustfully eyed her up. Touching was strictly forbidden; but  _that_ didn't stop them from getting as close as they possibly could! And  _he_ had moved in  _very_ close! So close in fact, that she was unable to stifle a cringe as she felt his hot breath on the back of her neck…! But as much as she hated this, there was nothing she could do about it. She had no rights here. She was merely an object, and the consequences of attacking a customer didn't bare thinking about!

Across from her, she could see Lucitana having an equally fun time, almost sitting in some fat tuxedo cat's lap while  _he_ licked his smarmy lips! Their eyes met across the crowded room. "Don't worry, I'll get us out of here!" her's promised.

"You always say that, though!" the other set pleaded.

####  Presently, the stranger behind her called to one of the guards (a wiry black Lykoi) speaking in a deep, rasping voice that was reminiscent of a chair scraping across a tiled floor. "Oi! Oi, you!" 

####  The guard turned his head towards him.

"Yeah, you! How much for this one?"   
  
Jazzie flashed a glare at her client, but was shocked to find that she couldn't actually see him at all, due to the fact that he was wearing a long, black cloak, with a hood that completely covered his face. "New rules," replied the wolf cat, in a voice that was as guttural as the other's was abrasive. "Boss got sick of people buying up his queens; so now you have to fight for them as well."   
  
He pointed to the crude boxing ring, where a large, blue Nebelung had just knocked out the latest contestant. "Love to see you beat Hooker!" The guard laughed nastily, then cupped a paw to his mouth and hollered across the room, "Oi! HOOKER! This punter wants a go!"

Hooker stared down at the stranger. Then he beat his chest, shouting stridently, "Come on then! Wanna piece of me? Come and get it! I'll fight ya! I'll kill ya! Whataya waiting for? Come on! Fight me!"

"No thank you... I don't fight  _vermin!"_ the stranger replied with obvious disdain, and, with an aloof sweep of his cloak, turned to leave...

"Oh no ya don't!" Hooker snarled and leapt from the ring!  _No one_ turned down a fight with  _him_ and got away with it!

He grabbed hold of Jazzie, forcibly dragging her back into the ring, screaming and struggling, while he crushed her ribs and dug his claws into her skin…!

With his charcoal paw on the heavy, wooden door, the stranger halted... seeming to be torn with indecision as to whether to intervene, or to simply vanish into the night without a care on his conscience...

It was just the reaction that Hooker had been delving for! "Turn around, coward!" He jeered. "Let me see your face! Or I'll KILL her!"

The terrified Snowshoe cried out in pain as he cemented his promise by making his claws dig even deeper... drawing beads of blood that began to seep into her creamy fur! "Please!" She begged, knowing not to  _whom_ she was begging... only what her desperate instincts were telling her; which was that the sleazy stranger  _could_ be her only chance of survival!

And as though heeding her plea, the stranger slowly turned around and lowered his hood...

The cloak fell to the ground, drawing a sharp intake of breath from the crowd as the muscular body of a Bengal cat was revealed, resplendent in a coat of scintillating silver, it's ghostly hue accentuated by a contrast of glossy black marbling, flowing across his impressive build like the satellite view of a river delta. His fur grew especially thick across his broad chest and shoulders, almost like a mane, and was a possible indication that Maine Coon blood also coursed through his taut veins. At least,  _that_ explained his large size (though he was a little sleeker than the average Coon!)

Worried murmurs began to circulate back and forth, and the crowd quickly parted before the majestic Silver tom as he stalked towards the ring, glaring aqua and gold eyes fixed on Hooker…! "So? If I beat you, I get the queen?" he enquired, showing the needle points of his teeth.

"Correct!" Hooker stated in a voice similar to a spade being dragged across rough concrete. "They'll only be on loan, but you can take your pick and use as many as you like, for your own…  _pleasure..._ IF you beat me; which, I very much doubt you will!"

The Bengcoon's eyes narrowed as if to say, "Yeah? Well, we'll see about  _that...!"_ Out loud, he said, "And if I lose?"

 _"I_ get to keep that fetching _collar_ you're wearing!” Hooker replied, spittle flying out of his slightly lopsided jaws.

He stared with envious eyes at the stranger's undeniably dapper-looking collar. Simple and unfussy in its design, it was made out of stiff, black leather, and was studded with a combination of pyramid and circular gunmetal studs, ending in an o-ring at the base of his throat. “Yeeees… very smart it is… _very_ smart _indeed…!"_ He muttered in an undertone...

The Nebelung blinked, snapping back to the task in hand! And with a sneer, he threw Jazzie to the side, none too gently, so that she tumbled out of the ring and landed in a heap on the floor!

Barely able to hide a wince at the little queen’s ill treatment, The Silver tom scowled and stepped forward! Hooker only laughed derisively at him, “Oh yeah? And wha'choo gonna do about it, eh? I promise to be careful with that pretty face of yours!”

Amidst the posturing and jeering, two guards began to wind thick ropes around his paws, securing them tightly in order to restrict his claws... and thus, prevent him from extending them. The ropes were followed by a silicon mouth guard which was placed between his teeth, and throughout this process, he never once took his eyes off Hooker! Nor Hooker off _him!_  
  
When the preparations were done, a Black Bombay (who was serving as the referee) announced in an adenoidal voice, "Now! You know the rules of Cat Boxing! No claws, no teeth. No sharp implements of _any_ kind, or it's immediate expulsion! Do I make myself clear? Everything else is fair game, including the use of furniture! Are you ready? Three… two… one… FIGHT!"  
  
_'Ding! Ding! Ding...!'_ Went the bell, and the toms started to circle, searching for any signs of weakness!

With a roar, Hooker went on the offensive and the pair proceeded to grapple, punch and kick, each trying to pin the other to the ground by any means necessary… and it wasn't long before Hooker’s arm found the Bengcoon’s throat!

Grimacing, he began to squeeze, delighting in hearing his challenger choking and gasping for breath in spite of the collar (the only thing protecting his windpipe from being crushed!) not realising that the defendant had secretly snuck his foot behind his legs… that is, until he was forcibly slammed into ground, receiving an extra blow to the gut from a stray elbow, complete with full weight of owner behind it!  
  
Painfully winded, the Nebelung held up his paws in desperate surrender as the Bengcoon threatened to beat what remaining daylights there were, out of him, until he screamed like the queen had done!

But then, he seemed to have a change of heart. Turning his back on the cat sprawled in the dirt, he walked away, spitting on the ground as he did so!

Hooker snarled and leapt to his feet! Then he sprang!

But whilst in midair, the Bengcoon turned and dealt a flying roundhouse to the unfortunate cat's jaw- one that sent him crashing to the side, knocking him out like a loose tooth!

 _'Ding!'_ Went the bell.

Breathing heavily, the Bengcoon watched as Hooker was dragged off, and was about to beat his own hasty retreat, when the Referee called him back... "You're not finished yet! Customers have paid good money to see this, so if you want your prize, then you must fight until no volunteer remains. That was just a warm up, my friend!" As he said this, a second tom stepped up.

"Bastard!" The Bengcoon found himself facing down a brown tabby Manx, with his lack of tail and small stature not making him appear  _any_ less threatening!

In fact, he attacked with such speed and ferocity that his adversary barely had time to put up his guard! Taking full advantage of this, the Manx dove straight in, landing a kick in The Bengcoon's solar plexus!

But before The Manx could go any further, the Bengcoon suddenly grabbed his foot, giving it a sharp  _twist_ to the left! The bone shattering  _'snick!'_ was audible to all, as was the resulting shriek of abject pain, as The Bengcoon then wrapped his arm around the tom's unprotected neck and pulled up tight…!

The Manx, his eyes popping and face contorted, was forced to admit defeat.

With head bowed, he grudgingly shook the Bengcoon's paw… then spat on the ground at his feet! But before the Bengcoon could react to this insult, a ginger and brown spotted Ocicat was already striding up to the stage... and was immediately disqualified, due to the fact that he was wielding an axe which he point blank refused to relinquish and, therefore, had to be bundled out of the club by six guards! "Anyone else?" the Referee called. He was met with silence and blank stares…

Indeed, there seemed to be a blatant lack of volunteers all of a sudden! So, a shrug, he began to raise The Bengcoon's right arm… "WAIT!" Boomed a voice.

The crowd parted once again, as a grizzled black Chausie strode up…! "Let's see how you shape up against  _me!"_ he challenged.  _"I_ am Tesslar, Macavity's prize fighter...  _Mongrel!"_ He spat the last insult venomously, his voice rough and cruel like sharks' teeth!

In response, the Bengcoon quietly took in the cat's large size, instantly noting that he was bigger than him and more solidly built, with short, smokey fur, and a mean face! In fact, he looked like a miniature lion!

"Alright!" shouted the Referee.  _"This_ is more like it, kitties!  _Perhaps_ we shall see a bit more  _theatre?_ A bit  _more_ …  _drama?_ Eh?" He was answered by a series of enthusiastic cheers and hoots. "Should be an interesting contest: The Lion versus The  _Tiger!_ When you're ready, folks! Three… two… one… FIGHT!"

The Chausie launched himself straight into the Bengcoon, who, in no time at all, found himself locked into a crushing grapple…!

Joints clicked and muscles strained as one cat pushed, while another cat shoved, each trying to overbalance the other and grunting from the sheer exertion, until, with a roar, Tesslar lifted the smaller tom off his feet and hurled him over the ropes, sending him crashing into some chairs and tables!

The Bengcoon was temporarily winded... but quickly recovered enough to kick back onto his feet, give an almighty roar of his own, and send a chair across the room to intercept the charging Chausie, effectively stopping him in his tracks!

In retaliation, Tesslar tore a large oil painting off the wall and smashed it over the Bengcoon's head, then proceeded to beat him with a broken chair leg!

With blow after blow raining down, the Bengcoon was forced to hold his forearms poised in front of his face in a bid to protect his skull; only to receive a painful  _thwack!_ to the ribs or the thighs instead!

Unable to stand the pain any longer, he made his escape by back somersaulting over a small table; which he then snatched up and drove into the Chausie's chest, sending them both crashing through a thin, plasterboard wall…!

Still, the fighting continued on the other side, Tesslar frisbeeing china plates as The Bengcoon answered with a volley of teacups, aimed with deadly precision at Tesslar's face…! They then crashed back through the wall and ended up in the ring where they had initially started, exhausted, bruised and bleeding... though neither was prepared to back down!

Keen to bring the fight to a swift conclusion, the enraged Chausie made a final lunge towards The Bengcoon... only for the nimble Bengcoon to slip out of his grasp and leap onto his back, clamping his knees onto his shoulders.

Once there, he raised his arms above his head and brought his elbow down, smashing it as hard as he could into the Chausie's skull, before leaping out of harm's way…!

At first, nothing happened...

Tesslar vigorously shook his head and was about to have another go at finishing off that wretched Bengcoon… when he suddenly lurched violently... collapsing into the ropes...!

Eyes burning with hatred, he managed to haul himself up and began to stagger towards The Bengcoon... foaming at the mouth, claws itching to seek out his throat… shortly before his bloodshot eyes rolled back in their sockets... and, with a dull  _thud!_ he toppled over, laying flat out cold on the linoleum!

The dust settled. The whole room was stunned into silence for what seemed like an eternity...

Then, someone began to cheer. This quickly morphed into an almighty roar from the crowd, as, amidst the heckles and hoots, The Referee raised The Bengcoon's arm and announced... "WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! GIVE IT UP FOR…! Say? What did ya say ya name was?"

Snatching his arm free, The Bengcoon spat out his gum shield and tore off the now threadbare and grubby ropes! With his chest heaving, he puffed, "...Snorrescha…! Prize...?"

"GIVE IT UP FOR SNORRESCHAAA!" The Referee hailed and then addressed the winning fighter in a quieter tone of voice, "Pick as many queens as you like, Sir! You've earned em! Take em upstairs, there'll be a room waiting for ya." He gave the him a sly wink and added, "Have fun… that's if you've still got the energy!"

Snorrescha narrowed his eyes and jabbed a claw in Jazzie's direction. "That one... and those three," he said, pointing to Lucitana, Hortenseya and Norstara.

The Referee leered at them. "Good choice!"

"YOU! HERE!" He bellowed, pointing to a spot on the floor just in front of him.

With their eyes cast down, the queens were shoved over and Snorrescha roughly grabbed Jazzie by the arm. He then proceeded to frog march her and the others, rather unceremoniously, towards the staircase. He passed another cloaked figure and hastily whispering out of the side of his mouth, "Wait for my signal!"

The queens were then dragged up three flights of creaky, wooden stairs, with the tom having to give each of them an extra firm shove in order to keep them moving! Suddenly, Jazzie lost her footing and fell, crying out as she hit her shin on the corner of one of the steps! She flinched, covering her head... but instead of hitting her, the tom stopped for moment, bending down to help her up... "Are you alright?" He asked gruffly.

She was too shocked to answer, so she just swallowed and nodded. "Good," he said. "Then let's carry on. Perhaps we could go a little faster, hmmm?"

Eventually they made it to a small room, with walls painted black and sensuously decorated with gold coloured items: including velvet drapes, chandeliers and candles...

However, comfortable as it was, the queens knew the drill. They huddled on the velvet bedspread, nervously regarding Snorrescha, as he closed the door and pulled a chair across it. Then he strode purposefully over to the bed and looked down at Jazzie with a steely expression on his face. "I want you to do  _exactly_ what I say. Do you understand?" He said to her, in a voice that she had expected to be harsh, but was surprised to hear something altogether more mellifluous and velvet- like, while still managing to retain a strong sense of masculinity.

However, she had encountered many of such toms, ones who appeared to be well spoken, but turned out to be as slimy as any sewer rat! So she glared back, her eyes filled with ill concealed loathing, and asked, "What  _do_ you want us to do?!" her own voice heavily laced with French.

Keeping his voice steady, he replied, "The first thing I want you to do, is help me tie up these bed sheets." Then he pointed to the other queens, "You three! Jump on the bed! Make out you're having 'fun!'" (He bent his fore and middle digits to mime inverted commas as he said this).

"I- what...!?" Jazzie spluttered. Was  _was_ this?

"Just do it! You want to get out of here, don't you?" He hissed, walking over to the window and forcing it open!

The queens just gawped at him as though he were an alien who'd just flown in from Mars! And at the lack of required activity, he began to grow impatient. "Come  _along!_ What are you waiting for? Doomsday?"

Hortenseya, Lucitana and Norstara looked at each another and shrugged. Then they began bouncing... even managing a few excited squeals…! "Alright! Don't get too carried away!" He muttered, as he busied himself with tearing the sheets into strips.

Jazzie stared at them. Then she eyed the Bengcoon with deep suspicion. "Why should I trust you, you dirty great thug?" She growled.

"Is that how you speak to people who are trying to help you?" Snorrescha responded, his tone turning slightly acidic. "No wonder you have been stuck here for so long! I could just  _leave_ you here if you'd prefer?!" He indicated the open window, making it quite clear that he had  _no_ intention of hanging around! But at being met with more blank faces, he dropped the sheet in frustration, and was about to hop up onto the sill-

"NO!"

He turned round. "Please… Sir!" Lucitana pleaded, in a soft Irish accent, "Excuse my sister…! She is not herself, so she isn't!"

"Jazzie, we have to trust him," reasoned Hortenseya. "What choice do we have?  _I,_ for one, am NOT staying here! I say we take our chances!"

Snorrescha regarded the Korat. "What is your name?" He asked.

"Hortenseya."

"Hortenseya," he repeated with nod of acknowledgement. "It would be  _preferable_ if you came with me, not least because I have gone to a great deal of trouble in order to get you to this point; but also, because you have just cost me fifty guineas! If you want to make yourself useful, help… Jazzie, did you say?"

Hortenseya nodded.

"...Help Jazzie tie those sheets!"

While the Korat set to work, he looked at the Abyssinian and addressed her, "You?"

"Lucitana," She answered.

"Lucitana, put your ear to the door and shout when you hear someone coming."

Lastly, he looked at the Egyptian Mau with raised eyebrows. "I am Norstara," she said.

He nodded and handed her a strip of cloth. "Tie this sheet to the bedpost, Norstara," he instructed. "And get a move on…! Unless you want us all to be caught! Macavity could return at any moment and I do  _not_ wish to be here when that happens! Personally, I quite like my pelt attached  _to_ me!"

As the sheets were tied, Snorrescha quickly fed them out of the window, before climbing out himself and instructing the queens to do the same. Swallowing nervously, Jazzie was the first one out. Gripping the sheet, she began to climb down the outside of the building, feeling the chill breeze through her fur, drizzle plastering her face... When all of a sudden a shout went up! "Someone's coming!" Yelled Lucitana.

"Quick! Jump!" Ordered Snorrescha, and he dropped into the darkness!

 _"Is he crazy?"_ thought Jazzie,  _"I cannot jump that far! I shall break something-!"_

"Come ON!" she heard him hiss.

Closing her eyes, she swallowed again... and let go… feeling her stomach fly away from her, while the wind whistled through her ears…! And was pleasantly surprised to land upon something soft!

However, it didn't take long to work out whose arms she had landed  _in!_ "Get your filthy paws off me, you striped monster!" she growled again, and swiped at the tom until he hastily let go! (Well, more like dropped her, actually…!)

"Gratuitous as ever, I see!" He growled back, turning his attention to the other queens who were dropping from the sky like it was raining... well... cats!

As soon as the last queen had been safely landed, he suddenly grabbed them all and shoved them back into the wall… and it immediately became apparent why…! For no sooner were they all safely out of sight, then a guard poked his head out of the window…! "I can't believe you let them escape!" he snarled to someone they couldn't see. "Come on! They can't have gone far! And when I catch em I'll…!"

They weren't prepared to wait around to hear what he would do!

Snorrescha cupped his paws to his mouth and let out a loud, piercing noise (which sounded a lot like the bark of a vixen!) and urgently addressed the queens, "If you want to live, follow me...! And for Heaviside sake, keep up!"

They crouched down and morphed from humanoid into domestic cat forms and raced through the darkness, skidding around a corner, whereupon they were joined by three other cats... "LOOK OUT!" one shouted. "WE'VE GOT COMPANY!"

Sure enough, they were being chased by an angry mob of henchcats! "RUN!" yelled Snorrescha... and they tore through the streets of London! Through alleyways they charged, dodging between the feet of humans and jumping up onto walls to try to make their escape, but the brutes were hot on their tails! They skittered across rooftops, until these eventually ran out and they jumped down, landing in Regent's Park!

The plan  _had_ been to stop there and get their breath back under the cover of the trees, for indeed, all eight cats were panting, worn out from their half mile parkour run, with another half still to go!

But their hopes of restbite were dashed when they heard howls coming up behind them... and knew they were still being hunted…!

So on they ran... emerging from the park and pelting it across a busy Park Road, narrowly avoiding the traffic!

The queens had no idea where they were heading, as they struggled to keep up with the lead cat, a black and white Bicolour (with two more cats either side of them and Snorrescha taking up the rear) but after their fur raising adventure on the road, they finally came to a railway line, and changed back into their humanoid forms.

The gang of henchcats also stopped, growling threateningly at them, knowing they had their quarry cornered...!

"You go! I'll hold them off!" Said Snorrescha, and immediately ran back, charging headlong towards the group of snarling thugs! Sounds of fierce fighting quickly ensued, coupled with yowls and screeches that split the night…!

"Come on! Let's go!" Said Alonzo, urging the rest of the party onwards, across the rocky ground. Taking care to avoid the live track, they were about halfway to the other side, when, all of a sudden, there came a deafening sound…!

 _HAAAAR_ **_HUUUUUNK_  ** _!_

Jazzie found herself blinded by a beam of light… but when she tried to move, her foot caught on something!

She tried to pull it out, but it was no use! She was well and truly stuck like mouse in a trap!

The thunderous noise grew louder... filling her with such terror that her voice caught in her throat and she couldn't breathe...!

But at last, she found her lungs, threw back her head and screamed at the top of them… Screeeeeeamed… until they felt like they would explode...!

Still, unstoppable beast thundered closer! It was now so close that its slipstream whipped up her fur…!

Realising her fate was sealed, she stopped screaming. Death was coming. So she screwed up her eyes, just as something slammed into her!

With a gasp, she landed on the jagged gravel, the impact forcing the air from her lungs! The few remaining pursuers disappeared underneath one hundred and eighty five tonnes of speeding metal as it  _whooshed_ by… passing inches from her and the cat who had shoved her out of its path!

He flattened her into the ground, using his own body to shield her from the pinging rocks and stones, which the wheels sent flying in all directions like jagged bullets! (A few must have found their mark, because, whoever was on top of her suddenly sucked in air through his teeth, letting out a grunt of pain... quickly followed by a curse!)

At last, the train passed by, so he quickly stood up and bend down to help her up also. But she unexpectedly turned on him! Hissing like an angry pit viper, she struck out with her claws, missing his face by millimetres as he moved his head out of harm's way and caught her paw in a vice like grip...!

"Get off me!" she screeched, trying to twist out of his grasp. This failing, she bared her teeth and prepared to bite him instead!

Unabashed, Snorrescha simply moved his thumb... pressing down sharply into her palm!

The queen suddenly felt her legs bend of their own accord, forcing her into a crouching position! She yowled with fury… but that was all she could do, as her fighting spirit abandoned her, leaving her feeling vulnerable and as weak as ragdoll!

"Are you going to attack the tom who just risked his lifeto save  _yours!?"_ He asked, once she had quietened down.

She shook her head.

He allowed his grip to soften. "Are you hurt?" he asked, looking her over, and noticing that she was gingerly trying to put weight on her left foot, but it was clearly painful, despite her attempts to hide it.

"I'm fine!" she insisted hoarsely, trying to pull away… "Please… let me go!" She winced as jagged fire shot through her foot!

Ignoring her protests, Snorrescha kept a firm hold. "You're not fine!" He said. "I'm sorry to have to do this…!"

And before she could protest any further, he hoisted her up onto his shoulders, disregarding the fists raining down on his back and her angry shouts of, "Put me DOWN, tu imbecile!" as he bounded towards the rest of the group.

When the cats  _finally_ made it to Lisson Grove, Snorrescha called a halt, placing Jazzie onto the ground as gently as he could. Despite this, she continued to struggle away from him, hissing like a caged animal! "Remind me never to rescue  _you_ again!" he said grudgingly.

Still panting heavily, he checked that everyone was accounted for, and, once he'd gotten his breath back, rounded on the group of toms! "Care to tell me WHY we had half of Macavity's henchcats chasing us?" He demanded.

"I tried to stop him, Sir," confessed a brown tabby and white shorthair, of no obvious breed.

"Stop  _who_ doing  _what,_ Admetus?" the Bengcoon asked.

Admetus jerked his head in the direction of the Bicolour Angora type cat, whose silky, white fur looked as though it had been splattered with black paint, flicked from a giant paint brush. "Your son, it would seem," he explained. "Is  _completely_ incapable of following the  _simplest_ instruction of 'stay put until you're told to move!'"

Snorrescha turned to his son, "Alonzo? What the hell did you think you were playing at? You almost got us all killed!"

"Sorry," Alonzo mumbled (even though he didn't look in the  _slightest_ bit sorry- A detail that irked his father greatly, as he awaited further explanation... and got  _nothing_ of the sort!)

"Sorry for  _what,_ exactly? Sorry for us almost getting  _caught?_ Sorry for making us all  _run_ for two miles straight? What? Or are you just saying it for effect?"

Alonzo shrugged, "Got a bit too cocky, what can I say? Guess I shouldn't have picked a fight with that guard... I was trying to distract him! Honest!" Despite his outwardly brazen attitude, he failed to hold the stern gaze of his father, whose eyes he could feel burning into him!

"What have I told you about picking fights?" he admonished. "You almost jeopardised the whole mission!"

"I  _said_ I'm  _sorry!"_ Alonzo retorted rudely. "Or didn't you hear?"

"I'll have less of your backchat, if you don't mind!" Snorrescha returned angrily, pointing a threatening claw at the adolescent. But Alonzo wasn't ready to stop arguing just yet.

"At least we didn't end up in Regent's Canal this time!" He tried to reason.

"Oh yeah!" laughed a Turkish Van, "That was when they set the pollicles on us! That was fun, having to swim in that slimy water! Not!"

"Shut it, Plato!" Alonzo snapped, and then glared defiantly at his father, "And besides; who are  _you_ to talk to ME about not fighting!?"

Snorrescha growled, "That wasn't part of the plan, I'll admit; but I had no choice and  _you_ know it! Nice try, Lonz, but shifting the blame  _isn't_ going to wear with  _me!_ In fact, if you cannot accept  _any_ responsibility for us almost getting skinned alive, then the best thing you can do right now (and I would strongly  _suggest_ you heed my advice!) is get out of my sight! I will deal with you later!"

Following that, he addressed the group of toms as a whole. "The rest of you... leave us!" He commanded. "Go get some rest!"

As the other cats gratefully beat a hasty departure, he turned his attention to the four queens and immediately softened his tone. "Sorry about that!" He said, rolling his eyes. "Kids!  _I_ don't know!"

Growing serious again, he added, "You are free now. You may come with me, if you wish? Or, you may return to your homes. You are under no obligation."

The queens looked at each other. "Why  _did_ you rescue us?" Jazzie asked coldly. "I know what toms are like. You ALWAYS want something in return!"

Snorrescha lowered his eyes to the ground and patiently elucidated, "Well, the main reason I rescued you, is because I feel very strongly that what Macavity is doing is wrong. I may not be able to stop him completely, but I can at least save a few from their fate. So I do."

To add weight to his explanation, he held out his left paw, turning it over so that the pad could be seen. Scorched into it was a white scar, in the shape of the numbers 502. "No being has the right to own another, or force them to work against their will," he said bitterly.

Jazzie's eyes widened. "You were a slave?"

"I was," he replied. "Some years ago now..."

Jazzie suddenly felt overcome with guilt! "Sorry if I was rude!" She said. "I was scared, you know! I'm protective of my girls-!"

"It's fine," he assured her kindly. "No need to apologise."

She frowned. "But something confuses me."

"Oh?"

"I mean... obviously, we are grateful for being rescued and everything. But why? It seem crazy to me!"

"You are a Doctor, is that correct?" He asked.

"Yes. I was Doctor before I forced to work for Macavity... but how you know-?"

"And your home is the University College London Hospital?"

"It was-" she started to explain, but he spoke over the the top of her. He had little time for long winded explanations!

"I have heard about your talents on various grape vines," he informed her. "So when I heard that you and your assistants had been kidnapped, I just… I  _knew_ had to do something. Sorry it took so long. We had to wait until Macavity was  _nowhere_ in the vicinity before we… er… made our move... Andwe're going to have to remain vigilant, as I'm sure, that, when he realises you are missing,  _this_ will be his first port of call... But, we'll be ready when that happens, so no need to worry about  _that..."_

"But there must be some kind of catch, no?" Said Jazzie, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Why would a tom go to such trouble, huh? You  _must_ want something! They always do!"

She sidled up to him, swinging her hips in an obviously suggestive manner, and, interested to see what his reaction would be, reached out... but before she could go any further he grabbed her paw and hissed, "Whether you choose to trust me or not is entirely up to you! Plus, I hate to say it, but I have seen more of  _this_ behaviour than I would care to!"

He roughly let her go, and she bowed her head, dropping the facade with it. "I have displeased you…" she said quietly. "What will you do to me now? Will you kill me? That is what they do to queens who displease!" She collapsed to her knees. "S'il vous plaît, Monsieur!" she cried. "Si je ne peux pas te plaire, alors je ne vaux rien...!" *1

"I'm not going to kill you!" Snorrescha whispered, looking to her companions for help!

Luckily, it was Hortenseya who knelt beside the queen and placed a protective arm around her, before flashing a glare at the other two!

Lucitana and Norstara snapped out of their zombified states, and, soon, all three were comforting their friend! "It's ok, Jazz," Hortenseya was saying in a soothing voice. "This gentleman isn't going to hurt us." Her voice hardened, "I won't let him!"

"Ladies!" said Snorrescha, trying to calm things... "I do not know if I introduced myself properly!" He looked sheepish all of a sudden and confessed, "For, my name is not, actually, Snorrescha."

Hortenseya growled, "Well, who  _are_ you then?"

Drawing himself up a little, the tom replied, "My name is Munkustrap, Protector of the Jellicles and Guardian of this territory. It is my job to protect you from harm, not cause it." He looked at the fraught Snowshoe. "You have my word, Jazzie. I know it's not much, but rest assured, no one is going to harm you. You are safe!"

The queens were quiet.

"Please accept my apologies for being so brusque. You weren't far off, actually,” Munkustrap continued. “You see, our tribe is in desperate need of a doctor. We have our own Jennyanydots and Jellylorum of course, but their knowledge is limited and they are dreadfully overworked. Therefore, will you agree to work for us in our Infirmary?"  
  
There was another pause. Jazzie sniffed, "I shall have to discuss it with my sisters. I am too tired now to think."  
  
The Bengcoon nodded. "Again, I _completely_ understand... this is a lot for you to take in.” He smiled. “I think that rest is a very good medicine... and so, you may rest up in my den if you wish? At least, until we can find you one of your own. Are you able to put weight on that foot?"  
  
Jazzie tried. Wincing, she quickly gave up trying to stand and dejectedly shook her head.

He looked concerned. "I can carry you, if you want?" he suggested.

She looked like that was the last thing she wanted, so he knelt down beside her and said, “Look. I know you are afraid, but you needn't be afraid of me. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. I just want to help. Will you at least let me?”  
  
She shook her head more forcefully and tried to move away. No tom, however well meaning, was going to touch her EVER AGAIN!  
  
"Argh Jazz!!! You bloody fool!” Hortenseya snapped suddenly. “Quit being so stubborn! Luc, Star and I are just gonna leave you here in a minute! I don't know about you, but we're freezing and tired!!! Trustworthy or not, his den sounds _really_ inviting right now!" She grumpily crossed her arms and huddled up to her shivering sisters.  
  
"It's got _heating!"_ Munkustrap added.  
  
Jazzie started to think about it.

“So, what's it to be?” he asked, beginning to sound a little impatient. “Will it be the fireman’s lift, or would you care for the more dignified bridal style? It's no skin off my nose! But I'm afraid leaving you to freeze to death is not one of the options!”

"Fine!" she said reluctantly, and held out her arms…  
  
However, despite her misgivings, there was a _tiny_ part of her that leapt involuntarily when she placed her arms around his shoulders and felt him lift her easily, suddenly becoming aware of the broadness of his shoulders and how firm they felt beneath her paws. But in stark contrast, how _soft_ was his _fur!?_ As silky and warm as down feathers, she felt like she could fall asleep then and there, just cuddling into it…!  
  
Behind them, Lucitana, Hortenseya and Norstara started elbowing one another, exchanging winks and raised eyebrows as they made their way through the gates of Thames Scrap Yard… “I saw that!” Jazzie snapped.

* * *

They followed Munkustrap through a maze of old car parts, fridges, microwaves, washing machines, and goodness knows what else; until they approached a large shack, which was built into a wall of scrap. It appeared to be made out of a combination of things: wood, bricks and mortar, with a corrugated iron roof and a tin bucket chimney. Added to that, the whole of the outside had been disguised using more items of junk: including old plates, China cups, an old teapot, a Victorian wine bottle, marbles and even a doll's head! As soon as they were all safely inside, Munkustrap mouthed to the queens, "I think your friend might be asleep!" and carefully placed her onto a pile of cushions. "Wakey, wakey, Sleeping Beauty!" he whispered, as she began to stir.

"What…?" Jazzie mumbled, sleepily. "Oh!" She hadn't realised she'd nodded off!

He chuckled and went to light the stove (which, for those interested, was a very old, cast iron Majestic). Once he'd got the fire going, he filled a beautifully fashioned (but equally as antique looking) cast iron kettle with water and placed it onto the hob to boil. "My apologies," he said distractedly, as he set out mugs for them all. "It's not exactly The Ritz, but it does a good job of keeping the rain out!"

Hortenseya was the one to jokingly reply, "Well, compared to the accommodation  _we're_  used to, this is Buckingham Palace!"

While still waiting for the water, Munkustrap walked over to the wall and lifted aside a small plank of wood, to reveal a square cubby hole. He reached in and pulled out a dun coloured tin (which was actually green with a white cross painted on the front) and brought it over to her. She had a quick feel of her foot. It was throbbing painfully; but luckily, she couldn't feel any breaks or swelling, and could wiggle her toes, bringing her to the conclusion that it wasn't broken, merely strained. "I'll have a bandage if you've got one," she said. "It just needs a little pressure, that's all."

Munkustrap had a rummage, pulled out a roll of dressing fabric and handed it to her. "I think you had better do it," he replied. "I'm not great with bandages, therefore I shall stick to making the tea!"

As if on cue, the kettle started to whistle... so he went to retrieve it, while Jazzie deftly strapped up her foot. It began to feel better right away, enabling her to at least limp about and curiously take in her surroundings.

It was a large, single room, spotlessly clean and tidy; but rather gloomy, due to the fact that it only had one small window. Cushions and blankets on the floor at one end served as the bed, while the stove was situated at the other, with its chimney going up into the corrugated iron roof. Sparsely furnished with items clearly chosen for their practical use rather than any sort of style, a large, solid oak table stood in the middle of the 'kitchen' area, with a smaller, desk type one nestling against the left wall, upon which sat a typewriter and wind up gramophone. Looking around, Jazzie also noticed a wooden trunk with metal fixings in the right hand corner, opposite the bed, and a few shelves that were dotted about, filled with records and leather bound books that she longed to take out and flick through (but thought better of it!) The only sort of decoration she could find came in the form of fourteen small portraits, each depicting the face of a stern looking tom cat (with the exception of one double portrait) and one equally severe looking queen, hanging on the left wall above the desk. Next, she spied the crude sink (which was actually a tiny spring trickling into a ceramic basin in the corner of the kitchen). So she grabbed a cloth from the shelf above it, filled a small container with water and then hobbled over to where Munkustrap was sitting, on the floor beside the now warm stove, watching her quizzically. "What are you up to, Nosey?" He asked.

"Your eyebrow is bleeding," she said, looking slightly abashed.

In surprise, he reached up... winced when he realised he had blood on his fingers.

"You didn't realise?" Jazzie asked curiously. "Does it not hurt?"

He shrugged. "Not really."

"Will you let me treat you?"

He shook his head. "There's really no need…!"

She gave him a look. "You're scared it will hurt?"

"I am not!" he huffed, crossing his arms.

"Then why look so worried?"

He didn't answer.

"Look," she reasoned. "I am a doctor... and you need to get that seen to! An infection would not look pretty!"

He sighed. "Fine! But no funny business, okay? Kindly keep your paws to yourself!"

Jazzie looked embarrassed. "I apologise for that. I hope you're not still angry with me?"

Looking nonplussed, Munkustrap replied, "I am not angry with you. Sorry if it seemed that way."

"Oh." She knelt beside him, "I just assumed that was all toms thought about! Hold still, by the way!"

"What is?" he asked, lowering his head to allow the much smaller queen to gently dab the wound with the cloth, cleaning away the dried blood and splinters of wood... wincing every so often.

She gave him a wry smile, "Oh, I'm pretty sure you know!"

"I'm pretty sure I _don't!"_

 _"Is she flirting with me?"_  he thought.

"This isn't a conversation I really want to be having, Miss Jazzie!" He said sternly... then winced again!

"Sorry!" Jazzie said quickly. "I didn't do this, did I?"

"No. I believe it was a rather large oil painting, of Queen Victoria, from what little I saw of it...!"

It was Jazzie's turn to wince, "That must have hurt, no?"

He gave her a 'Meh! It was no big deal!' look, before replying, "It stung a bit, I suppose..."

"I am willing to bet that it stung more than a  _bit!"_ she hissed. _"_ It certainly looked like it hurt when Mansur kicked you?"

"You're spot on," Munkustrap admitted. "But then, it was my own stupid fault..."

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" She asked, looking him over. He had indeed sustained a few minor cuts, mainly to his head and lower lip, and also to the bridge of his nose… but they didn't didn't seem to be bothering him, and would heal well enough on their own once she'd cleaned them up!

"I'd say I came off pretty lightly, all considering!" He said, when he saw her looking.

"Well, if  _this_  is coming off lightly, then I dread to think what coming off worse looks like!" she remarked. "You'll certainly ache tomorrow, no?"

He shrugged again. "Not a day goes by when I don't ache  _somewhere!_  Goes with the job. I basically ache so that others don't have to!" He smiled… and she almost did a double take!

It was actually the first time she had looked at his face properly, now that the blood and dirt had been cleaned away. However, she immediately regretted her decision when she felt her heart quicken of its own accord…!  _"Bonjour! Ton visage ne pourrait pas être plus parfait!"_  *2

For sure, his face was more finely chiseled than any Greek statue that she had ever seen! And that was in spite of all the cuts and bruises, which were nestling alongside one or two obvious scars: including a long one across his right cheekbone, and another on the left side of his forehead. He also had a few notches in his right ear, old injuries that he must have sustained in previous encounters. The overall effect gave him a slightly rugged appearance; but, just like the flaws in a blue opal, they only seemed to add to his charm.

Realising she was staring, Jazzei hurriedly went back to focusing on the task at hand, whilst scolding herself,  _"Que fais-tu stupide chat!?"_  *3

However, the slight change in atmosphere did not go unnoticed, for his smile broadened, and when it did, his eyes seemed to sparkle... "What?" he asked her innocently.

She took a small breath (suddenly aware that the oxygen had escaped from her lungs and didn't seem to want to come back!) carefully smoothed her face into one of what (she hoped!) looked like indifference, and replied with a small shrug... "I was just thinking, that it is a shame... because... you are not exactly… um… bad looking, are you?"

"Oh?" he enquired. "So what  _am_  I?"

The words escaped from her mouth before she had time to stuff them back in again, just as he was about to take a sip of tea! "You're beautiful…!"

Munkustrap suddenly coughed as his tea went down the wrong way…! "Oh? Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yep…!" he croaked. "Note to self: You're meant to  _drink_  the tea, not inhale it...!"

Jazzie stifled a giggle. "Sorry! Was it something I said?"

Clearing his throat Munkustrap raised his eyebrows. _"Something_  you  _said?_ You  _do_  realise you've changed your tune more times than a drunk starling?"

"How so?"

"Errr, what was it you called me before?" he reminded her. "Ah yes! That was it! A dirty great thug and a striped monster, I do believe? Hmm?" He waited for her answer.

"Oh." She looking down. "I'm sorry if I offended you."

"So? Do you still think I am a monster?" he asked, his eyes narrowing with curiosity.

Jazzie felt her heart dissolve. "D-Do you  _want_  me to think that?"

It was his turn to look confused. "I cannot comprehend how badly you've been treated by certain toms. So, I can understand if you are afraid... but you honestly have no reason to fear me; nor do I want you to."

"Then I think you must be an angel," she responded.

Munkustrap met her comment head on with a burst of laughter, "Oh, I'm no angel! Trust me... if only I was!"

If only she  _knew!_  For even as he said this, he was doing his level best to try to ignore the shape of her eyes... the delicate curve of her face... whilst simultaneously keeping a firm lid on any inappropriate thoughts that tried to escape from the dark recesses of his mind… But it was becoming a real struggle, and he knew that, like Pandora's box, once opened, there would be no closing it!

She shrugged again. "We shall see, won't we?"

At which point, he regarded her... voicing his thoughts, "I must say, you really are a strange one, aren't you?"

She frowned. "How do you mean? In what way?"

"You seem to see the World differently to most cats."

"I'm afraid I still don't follow," she said.

He shifted slightly and elucidated, "Well, let's put it this way. No one has ever described me as 'beautiful' before, and it is not exactly a word I would use to describe myself."

She smiled. "I only describe what I see."

"Then I suppose the word we need now is: thank you," he replied graciously. "I am genuinely flattered."

"You don't think I am crazy?" She asked, regarding him with scrutiny.

He laughed again, "Ha! We're all crazy here! Just don't tell anyone!"

She started to laugh too… but then, quickly stopped, putting a paw over her mouth!

"It's ok. You are  _allowed_  to laugh," said the tom.

"Sorry…!"

"What for? Laughing?"

"No…" she stammered. "I… It's just… you know. Getting used to laughing. I haven't really laughed… not for… gosh! I cannot remember the last time...!"

"Well then," he said quietly. "I shall have to see to it that there are a great deal more laughs where  _that_ one came from, my dear."

They fell silent for a time... both lost in their own thoughts while Jazzie continued to work on the cut (It  _was_ a nastygash! She hoped it wouldn't scar too badly!)

"Norstara is fast," he said after a while.

"She is a champion runner," Jazzie replied. "That is partly why Macavity desired her so. He wanted to make her his chief raider, but she refused. Thank goodness you came when you did. Macavity was threatening to break her legs, if she refused again. Thankfully pour moi, I was not chosen for my running skills!"

Munkustrap smiled, and Jazzie shot him a look that said,  _"You're not supposed to agree!"_

"They aren't your true sisters, are they?" He glanced at the gently snoring Hortenseya, Lucitana and Norstara, who had quietly passed out on his bed.

"No," she said. "We all lived in different hospitals, in and around London. When we were taken, we protected each other as much as we could... and we became so close, that we are now almost like sisters. We would lay down our lives for each other… and we also make a great team. I couldn't do what I do without them."

Then he had another question to ask her, "That accent?" He couldn't fail to mention it. "Where does it come from, if you don't mind my asking?"

"France. Sorry... if my English is not that good. I was born and educated in Paris, but an English doctor bought me and took me back to England with him. My job was to lift the spirits of the sick patients, but I got bored and started watching the doctors and nurses. I learned quickly and started to apply my learning to sick cats in the street, but I always dreamed of having my own surgery in which to treat patients." She looked down. "Instead, I was forced to treat Macavity and his cronies."

"Your English seems fine to  _me!"_ Said Munkustrap. "And it's a damn sight better than my French, I can tell you!"

Jazzie smiled. "Thank you. We come from all over, my sisters and I. Lucitana was born in Galway, Norstara is from Alexandria in Egypt and Hortenseya, I think, comes from Bangkok."

"Fascinating! I bet theyhave some stories to tell...!" He suddenly frowned.

"Is… something the matter?" She asked.

"Just curious to know what you meant by me not hurting you?" he elaborated. "When I was doing my Oscar winning impression of a total lech, back there..."

He guessed he wouldn't like the answer. And, this was verified by Jazzie's involuntary shudder!

She swallowed and quietly recounted, "Every night we were forced to… sleep with toms. Some were sadistic and seemed to get their thrills from hurting us. But the one who hurt us the most… we lived in constant fear of  _Him!_ We would hear screams ring out in the dark… cats would disappear without trace... we lived in continuous dread, wondering when it might be  _our_ turn- I should not be telling you this!" She closed her eyes, trying to blot out the awful memories...

Meanwhile, Munkustrap felt sharp teeth on his bottom lip and was resisting the urge to growl…! "That… cat _-_ no! Monster you are describing," he said sadly. "I am not proud to say, is related to me. He is my psycho older brother."

She looked up, shocked! "But! I swear to you, the similarities end there!" He quickly assured her, placing a paw onto hers. "He is a disgustingexcuse for a living being... In fact I'd go as far as to say that he is a disgrace to all of felinity!"

Her paw was shaking, so he held it, marvelling at how tiny it was compared to his... then he turned it over and his eyes suddenly widened…!

His tail swished with agitation as he stared down in disbelief... at the bloody welt on her palm!  _"Oh God! She's right. I'm a violent thug!"_ he thought.

And, indeed, never admitted to anyone that he secretly loved the thrill of a fight: the adrenaline... the risk…! However, he got the most satisfaction from knowing that he was fighting for a good cause, protecting those who could not protect themselves being one of the quadrillion reasons why he had wanted to become a Protector in the firstplace! (In fact, he had had to punch far above his weight in order to prove himself worthy, and rise above the hundreds of othercandidates who had alsobeen desperate to sign up for the job!)

"Jazzie?" he whispered. "Did I…  _do_ this?"

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! How couldhe have been so  _careless?_ Here he was, supposed to be protecting this little queen... and instead…!

"It-it wasn't your fault," she stammered. "If I hadn't attacked you…" She looked away.

"No, Jazz, it was!" He groaned, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips. "I'm  _so_ sorry…!"

"Don't be!" She argued. "Your claw must have just slipped or something- Look! If anyone should be sorry, it should be me for acting all crazy!"

"Jazzie, listen to me," he said firmly. "You are not crazy! At least, I don't  _think_ you are...! However... I wouldn't be at all surprised, if you were traumatised by your ordeal. There _is_ a difference. What you have been through, the horrors you must have faced, I can only _begin_ to imagine. In fact, my team of guardians and I have made a few rescue attempts over the years... and would rescue more if it wasn't so dangerous! The decision to wander into Macavity's territory is never one to be taken lightly, I can tell you! But, whenever we  _do_ manage to rescue individuals, they are always terrified... and sometimes traumatised beyond all help."

"I mean, I've had hostages killed in front of me, or die soon after being rescued…" he recalled. "One queen even ran into the road! I tried to stop her, but she was hit and… there was nothing I could do..."

"That must have been awful!" Jazzie cried.

"It was worse for her... thatwas why I kept hold of you," he calmly explained, not wishing to go anyfurther thanthat _,_ as to what had happened on that fateful night.

As it was, he still had the occasional flashback, replaying the events over and over in his mind while he slept... feeling the queen slip from his grasp... and him desperately trying to catch her... shouting for her to stop… even as she ran headlong into the path of an eight wheeled HGV…!

He could still hear the screech of tyres... the single, piercing scream…! And after that… he shuddered at the memory.

"I understand," she said. "But please... don't feel bad about this, ok? I knowit was an accident! Look!"

She showed him the small puncture wound; which had stopped bleeding and was only a littleswollen. "It's not even thatdeep! All it needs is a little antiseptic cream. Do you have any by any chance?"

"No," he said. "But I dohave the next best thing. Well, better actually... may I?"

He cupped her paw in his and closed his eyes. Barely above a whisper, he began to utter some indecipherable words and at the same time, her paw began to glow… feeling hot… almost like fire...!

Alarmed, she whipped her paw out of his… staring at him in disbelief…! Then, almost out of reflex, stared at her paw!

The white glow had vanished! But so, too, had the wound!

She turned her paw over to check that it hadn't moved, or maybe she had mistaken its location? But it was as though it had never been there! "H-how did you do that!?" She breathed.

He smiled knowingly.  _"Magic!_ Although, I can only heal minor wounds..."

"Wow! Can you do anything else?" She asked, clearly impressed.

"Now  _that_ would be telling!" He said, then whispered out of the side of his mouth, "Which is code for: Yes... but…! They are not particularly… er…  _impressive…_ shall we say? However, I have a son who is a magician, and, no doubt, you shall meet him very soon!"

"Wow! How many children do you have?" She asked out of curiosity.

"Six sons and seven daughters, that I know of, with six more on the way."

Jazzie beamed. "How wonderful! Congratulations!"

"Thank you," he replied modestly.

"And, their names?"

He sat back and had a think for a moment. "Well now, let's see..." He pressed his forefinger into his chin, as he tried to recall the names of  _all_ his children! "My eldest, you've met... Alonzo. He's four. Mistoffelees, the magician, and his sister Victoria, are two. The twins: Electra and Etcetera, are eighteen months. And then we have nine, born to two show cats... I  _think_ their names are (and you won't believe this, they really  _are_ the most ridiculousnames): White Bear Merlin, Starlit Dawn, Thor Iron Claw, Iris Dew-Eye, Minky Shona and..."

"It gets better!" He chuckled, as Jazzie stifled another giggle, and continued on, while struggling to keep a straight face himself, "Finaisha Moon Shadow, Sapphire Sky, Wilderness Fire aaand..." He paused. "Oh! What was that  _last_ one called, again...?" Then, with a rueful flourish, he remembered, "Ah, yes! Morning Rey De Solei!"

"You're kidding!" Laughed Jazzie. She had never heard of such silly names!

"No. Those really aretheir names!" He rolled his eyes. "Honestly! Trust humans!"

But he assured her, "Don't worry. My younger ones have  _much_ more sensible names. Meritas, Ajax and Cindykit are about four weeks old now." Then he added, slightly more downcast, "I did have five more, actually... but… they are sadly no longer with us..." He immediately wished he hadn't said anything!

"Oh! That is sad!" She exclaimed, her expression suddenly awash with sympathy.

"I shouldn't have mentioned it..." he said quickly. "Sorry… That was fartoo much information to have burdened you with-"

"No... I'm sorry," she said with condolence. "I am so,  _so_ very sorry!" (Losing a child was the worst thing that could possibly happen to _anyone_ in her eyes; but to lose  _five…?)_ "What were their names?" She asked.

He took a deep breath, and quietly replied, "Archimedes, Ariadne, Thoran and Nellita were Alonzo's brothers and sisters. They were murdered. I think, you can probably guess, by whom... And there was also Paris... who was stillborn."

"Gosh-!" she exclaimed, practically heartbroken.

"It's fine," he said dismissively, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible. "These things happen..."

She placed a paw on his arm, as though this would, in some way, temper the grief that she guessed he musthave been feeling; even though he was hiding it behind a wall of masculine pride that he wasn't about to break down. At least, not for  _her_ at any rate!

Grief didn't simply go away, though,  _she_ knew that! And talking about his kittens must have brought all of those memories back? Then again, maybe it was that same grief that spurred him to help a complete set of strangers, risking both his  _and_ fellow cat's lives to free, not just them, but others too?

She couldn't be certain that was the case, but she found the whole thing a little mind boggling just the same!

For cats were selfish creatures! Only ever out for themselves, and wouldn't  _dream_ of lifting a paw for anyone who wasn't family (unless there was something in it for them, of course!) "You call  _me_ a strange!" she mused aloud. "I think it is you who are the strange one!"

He chuckled slightly, "Perhaps strange was not the right word to use?"

"No you're right. I would say remarkable!"

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far!" He scoffed. "Not for me at any rate!"

Jazzie stared at him. "Seriously? You save my life twice in the space of one night and that is  _not_ remarkable?"

"It was nothing…!"

"I mean it! You could easily have died doing that. I am forever indebted to you."

He placed his paw on top of hers... "You are welcome," he said. "But you do not owe me anything. I was merely doing my job."

He looked down at the paw resting on his arm. Slowly, his gaze drifted from its snowy daintiness, to the pristine, wide openness of her face, with her eyes, like sparkling blue gems, meeting his somewhere along the way...

He silently cursed! For how could anyone _,_ or indeed,  _anything,_  be  _that_  darn beautiful and still be real?  _How_  was it even possible!? He couldn't tear his eyes away, even if he wanted to! (Which, he had to admit… he didn't!)

What was wrong with him?! Had his normally resolute demeanour suddenly upped sticks and deserted its post? Leaving him helplessly captivated, trapped like a bird in a cage…?

She felt a sudden mix of feelings as she watched him take hold of her paw and allow her delicate fingers to slide across his palm... a stark contrast to the violence she knew he was capable of!  _"This guy could snap you like a twig!"_ warned the voice in her head. And of course, she could feel the power he possessed, even in the tenderness of his touch! So then...  _why_  didn't that make her feel uncomfortable?

He didn't move or flinch as she inched closer...

He stared down at her lips... feeling inexplicably drawn to them, as they parted, and felt himself lean in...

Their whiskers touched, the sudden tingle bringing him back to his senses with a jolt! "I… um-!"

They both pulled back!

"No...! It's ok… my fault...!" She stammered, looking away, unable to believe what she had been about to  _do...!_

He swore under his breath, and quickly muttered something about not normally behaving like this… "I honestly don't know what came over me..."

In his mind, he added,  _"You expect her to believe that?! Yeah, because that's what happens when you stop thinking with your head, fool! And if she finds out about this, you do realise that Demi is going to iron your testicles! She only let you out of the doghouse last week...!"_

"It's ok," she repeated. "Let's just... forget it ever happen, oui?"

"Easy for  _you_  to say!" Munkustrap coughed whilst scratching the back of his neck!

In the silence that followed (permeated only by Hortenseya's loud snoring!) Jazzie purposefully rinsed the bloody cloth in the bowl, turning the water a yucky brown, before hobbling back to the sink and washing everything thoroughly, leaving the cup on the sideboard and the now, slightly stained, cloth hanging on a hook to dry. While she busied herself, she said, rather purposefully, "The cut is not deep, so it doesn't need stitches. It should heal up without the use of iodine, provided you do not touch it!"

Munkustrap yawned and stretched, "Right you are..."

It was Jazzie's turn to yawn, as she sat back down beside him, ready to cobble together some sort of excuse for her actions… but he waved it away. "You must be tired," he said. "Rest now, and we'll talk more later."

"Will you sleep here?" she asked.

"Er… no.  _I_  am going to take a little walk outside, because I… I feel like I need to clear my head. However, I shan't be far, if you should need me..."

"I'm sorry-!" She began.

"Don't worry about it!" He interrupted. "Just get some rest, ok?" And he walked out of the den, leaving Jazzie to flop down gratefully next to her sisters!

She tried to get comfortable. She tossed this way and then that, causing her sisters to stir in annoyance, until, presently, she sat up and let out a tentative meow… "Munkustrap?"

"What is it  _now?"_  came the exasperated reply, and Munkustrap appeared sleepily in the doorway.

"I cannot sleep," she said sheepishly.

Munkustrap sighed and admitted, "Well, actually, I am still too full of adrenaline to sleep myself..." Then he had an idea. "Here, pass me that guitar, will you?"

Jazzie looked to her left and spied a small 'guitar' (which was actually an old oil can, complete with scrap wood fretboard and wire strings!) propped up against the wall. So she picked it up and handed it to him.

He duly took it, sat down a little way from her with his back against the wall, and began to delicately pluck the strings using his claws... "This is what I usually do if I can't sleep... which is quite often!" he explained.

"You like music?" She asked quietly.

"I'm a Jellicle!" he said proudly. "Music is everything to me..." Then added,  _"You_ have a lovely voice, if you don't mind me saying."

Jazzie felt her tail curl with embarrassment! So she shut her eyes, and quietly listened to his soothing voice... relishing the silky shivers it sent down her spine…!

 _"She's a rich girl_ _  
_ _She don't try to hide it_ _  
_ _Diamonds on the soles of her shoes_ _  
_ _  
_ _He's a poor boy_ _  
_ _Empty as a pocket_ _  
_ _Empty as a pocket with nothing to lose_ _  
_ _Sing ta na na_ _  
_ _Ta na na na_ _  
_ _  
_ _She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes Diamonds on the soles of her shoes_ _  
_ _Diamonds on the soles of her shoes_ _  
_ _  
_ _People say she's crazy_ _  
_ _She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes_ _  
_ _Well that's one way to lose these_ _  
_ _Walking blues_ _  
_ _Diamonds on the soles of her shoes_ _  
_ _  
_ _She was physically forgotten_ _  
_ _Then she slipped into my pocket_ _  
_ _With my car keys_ _  
_ _She said you've taken me for granted_ _  
_ _Because I please you_ _  
_ _Wearing these diamonds_ _  
_ _  
_ _And I could say oo oo oo_ _  
_ _As if everybody knows_ _  
_ _What I'm talking about_ _  
_ _As if everybody would know_ _  
_ _Exactly what I was talking about_ _  
_ _Talking about diamonds on the soles of her shoes_ _  
_ _  
_ _She makes the sign of a teaspoon_ _  
_ _He makes the sign of a wave_ _  
_ _The poor boy changes clothes_ _  
_ _And puts on aftershave_ _  
_ _To compensate for his ordinary shoes_ _  
_ _  
_ _And she said honey take me dancing_ _  
_ _But they ended up by sleeping_ _  
_ _In a doorway_ _  
_ _By the bodegas and the lights on_ _  
_ _Upper broadway_ _  
_ _Wearing diamonds on the soles of their shoes_ _  
_ _  
_ _And I could say oo oo oo_ _  
_ _As if everybody here would know_ _  
_ _What I was talking about_ _  
_ _I mean everybody here would know exactly_ _  
_ _What I was talking about_ _  
_ _Talking about diamonds_ _  
_ _  
_ _People say I'm crazy_ _  
_ _I got diamonds on the soles of my shoes_ _  
_ _Well that's one way to lose_ _  
_ _These walking blues_ _  
_ _Diamonds on the soles of our shoes."_

(Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes by Paul Simon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *1 Please, sir, if I can not please you, then I'm not worth anything!
> 
> *2 Hello! Your face could not be more perfect!
> 
> *3 What are you doing stupid cat!?


	3. The Infirmary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note about this chapter:  
> I was inspired to write about characters with disabilities by Goats of Anarchy. Check it out on Instagram! You will not be disappointed! You will, however, be bowled over by cuteness, develop a love for goats, as well as a new found respect for creatures with disabilities and the people who give up their time to love and care for them.

In the early hours of the morning, Jazzie jolted awake. At first, she wondered where she was! But then, she remembered! She was free!

Smiling to herself, she lifted her head and glanced over at the now dozing Bengcoon... _"Mon Dieu!"_ she thought. _"C'est un rêve?"_ *1  
  
She had to suppress a giggle, for he had fallen asleep mid-strum... still holding onto the guitar with his head resting against the wall! However, even though asleep, Jazzie could see that his ears definitely _weren't!_ Every so often they would twitch in response to a sudden noise, perhaps the sound of rain dripping onto the corrugated iron roof, or a tin can rattling in the breeze somewhere nearby…

 _"Il est magnifique!"_ whispered the voice in her head, but she quickly rounded on it! _"Jazzie! Ne sois pas fou! Ne perd pas la tête à cause d'un chat tom...!"_ *2

Suddenly she felt an icy paw close around her heart! For his eyes had opened ever so slightly, and were staring back at her…! _"Merde!"_ *3  
  
Had he noticed her staring?

She quickly shut her eyes and snuggled into Hortenseya, hoping to pretend that she'd been asleep all along…!

She vaguely thought about asking him if he'd like to snuggle up with them, because he didn't _look_ very comfortable! (Plus she wouldn't have minded having an excuse to accidentally touch those abs again on purpose!) But she bottled it and fell asleep before she could form the words. She dreamt that she asked him instead!

At least dreams didn't let you down!

* * *

  
Munkustrap waited until Jazzie had drifted off back to sleep, listening out for the telltale signs of even breathing and soft snores.

Having gone from being in a deep sleep himself, to instantly alert, he arose silently from his seated position and stretched out his stiff limbs. While he could sleep pretty much anywhere (being a cat and all!) even he had to concede that the wall wasn't _exactly_ the most comfortable of places! Jazzie was right, too!

Only a few hours had passed since his stripclub brawl, but already his body was _aching!_ With no part being more painful than his poor ribs (which had borne the brunt of the beatings!)

Luckily, he had a cure for his discomfort. Unfortunately, it _wasn't_ one of Bombalurina’s famous massages, but, nevertheless, it was something that never failed to bring him lasting relief and healing.  
  
So, he placed the guitar on a shelf, taking care not to make a sound, and then turned back to gaze at the queens (who were still slumbering on his bed.) Although they were all breathtakingly beautiful, there was something about that Snowshoe that confused him.

He stared at her for a long time, cocking his head to the side and frowning in puzzlement at what that something could be…

Then, he gave up trying to figure her out and tiptoed outside, jumped down into the clearing and turned his face towards the eastern sky. The first wisps of sunlight were lighting up the grey clouds and sending crystal shafts shooting down to Earth. Taking a deep breath of crisp, morning air, he placed his paws together, uttered a small prayer and touched them to his forehead, before raising them up as though to greet the morning Sun...

* * *

  
When Jazzie awoke again some time later, sunlight was pouring into the den. The guitar had been neatly put away, but there was no sign of Munkustrap.

Yawning and stretching, she quietly untangled herself from her still snoring sisters and gingerly tested her foot. It was still rather tender, but the throbbing pain had at least died down enough for her to be able to put a little more weight on it, and thus, enable her to creep to the entrance in order to breathe in the same, crisp air that Munkustrap had found so invigorating!  
  
She spotted the aforementioned Bengcoon in the clearing- but what was he doing?

Sneaking closer, she watched in amazement as he appeared to spar with an invisible foe- using a well practiced routine to take out adversary after adversary, with a swipe here, a spinning kick there, blocking counter attacks and using no hands cartwheels and backflips to get out of whatever situation he'd imagined himself in!

She kept herself hidden, fearing that he would stop if he saw her, for she was truly mesmerized by the speed and complexity of his movements! He seemed to possess a natural poise, able to turn physical power into something effortless with apparent ease!  
  
After about fifteen minutes or so, the fight scene changed to something altogether more sedate. A few vinyasas preceded a pose where he held his foot poised to the back of his head, while at the same time, balancing on an upturned box (as though standing on one leg wasn't already hard enough!) Once he'd completed this manoeuvre, he dropped back until his paws touched the ground and pressed up into a handstand, holding for a good five or ten minutes while he experimented with various positions: from resting his feet on his head to balancing upon a single paw whilst clasping a foot with the other!

Tiring of this, he eventually folded his legs into lotus and slowly lowered himself to the ground. A few, final shoulder stretches, then sat very still, paws in yoga mudra, breathing long and deep.

Quietly tiptoeing up to him, Jazzie noticed he was holding something… a strange necklace of dark blue beads, which he was quietly rolling between his fingers, one after the other, as though counting them...

When he got to the final bead, which differed from the others, in that, rather than being small and spherical, it was, in actual fact, a kind of silver pendant, he held his paws in prayer against his forehead, with the beads loosely wrapped around them, and proceeded to chant, his voice barely above a whisper. Still chanting, he then bowed forwards and touched his head to the ground, before sitting up again... "How long have you been spying on me for?" He asked, without looking at her.  
  
"Oh…! Er… I was not spying _..."_ she lied, her curling tail giving away her embarrassment!  
She promptly grabbed the traitorous appendage and said loftily, "I was merely interested to know what you were doing, _that_ was _all!"_  
  
"My practice,” he replied, whilst absentmindedly passing the beads from one paw to another... “Part of a routine that I perform every day. It is mandatory, in fact...”

He grew thoughtful, trying to justify his reasons for practicing such an arduous workout _every_ day. He didn't need a reason! To him, it was as habitual as eating, breathing and washing one's fur…! "It helps me to feel… normal, I suppose..." he said after a while. "Much needed in the midsts of this chaos they call life!"

“So? Who won?” she asked.

“Sorry?” He looked confused. But then brightened, “Oh? What? You mean…?” He mimed boxing the air, figuring she meant the sparring. “Well... me, obviously!” He said with a smile. “Pity it's not like that in the real world, though. Be good if it was! How's the foot, by the way?"  
  
"Feeling much better, thank you," she replied, then asked, "What is that necklace for?"  
  
"What? This?" He held up the beads. "It is a mala necklace," he explained, passing them to her so she could have a better look. "Prayer beads... passed down to me from my predecessor. Each of the one hundred and eight beads represents a mantra or prayer, which I basically recite in order to help to bring my mind into a single point of focus. I'm still working on the single point of focus part, though!"  
  
The necklace was a little weightier than Jazzie had expected. She gazed at the dark blue stones, feeling how beautifully smooth they were, just begging to be rolled between the fingers!

Then she took a look at the small, silver pendant. On closer inspection, it turned out to be an intricate tree. "That is the guru bead," Munkustrap informed her, when he saw her studying it. "It is in the shape of the Banyan Tree, which represents immortality."

"You seem pretty centred, if you don't mind me saying… is this how you manage to stay so?" She asked with fascination.  
  
He nodded. “It certainly helps set me up for the day."  
  
She smiled. "Will you teach me?"  
  
"In due course," He replied, as he stood up and retrieved the beads... "But now, it is breakfast time!"

* * *

  
After waking the 'Three Muses', the group made their way passed Lord's Cricket Ground, to a place that, Munkustrap assured them, served good food and was reasonably priced too!

Situated on the corner of Park Road, a few cats were already seated outside Exotica's Cafe when they arrived, chatting and drinking valerian root coffee (which was specifically suited to their delicate, feline digestive systems)

The food had barely been placed in front of them, but the four starving queens practically fell on it!

"Slow down, ladies!" Munkustrap softly scolded, but still with a smile, as he began to tuck into his own breakfast of grilled bacon and scrambled eggs, "I take it Macavity didn't feed you, then?"  
  
"Dried bread and the odd mouse if we were lucky," replied Hortenseya through a mouthful of eggs benedict.  
  
"Sometimes we had to supplement our diet with spiders... cockroaches or snails if we were lucky...!" Norstara recalled with a shudder- then went back to demolishing her crab omelette…!  
  
"If we didn't make enough money, then we didn't get anything!" Lucitana added, before cramming a _whole_ smoked salmon and soft cheese bagel into her mouth!  
  
Munkustrap seemed to have lost his appetite all of a sudden.

"Luc! Where are your manners!" Jazzie hissed.  
  
"Uhuuhuhuhuhfffufff!" The Abyssinian retorted.  
  
Jazzie rolled her eyes at Munkustrap. "Sorry about her! I honestly cannot take her anywhere!" And rather than gobble her food down like some feral animal, she daintily picked at her kipper kedgeree, not wanting to get the pungent fish onto her white paws. It was then that she noticed how grubby they were!

In fact, they were all looking a little disheveled! As though reading her thoughts, Munkustrap announced, "I shall take you to visit our infirmary today. But, before I do _that,_ I'm afraid we shall have to get ourselves cleaned up. There's no _way_ Jennyanydots will let us anywhere near the infirmary in _this_ state! No offense-!"  
  
"OI! MUNKUS!!!"  
  
The queens all turned around to see who had shouted... and saw a small group of toms striding confidently towards them, with an unusual looking Bengal Maine Coon cross at the helm.

“Wow! Who's the guy with the insane mane?” asked Lucitana, raising an intrigued eyebrow at the sight of this nigh on impossible to overlook cat, with his black coat ending in fluffy, golden points, which were peppered with leopard spots.

“My brother...” Munkustrap muttered, without bothering to look up.

The large male made his way over to them, thumbs hooked in a loosely worn, studded belt (and, for some reason, he also had a scarf tied around his left leg, much like a garter.) His whole demeanour: from his devil may care swagger, to his flashy grin, reminded Jazzie of someone she had seen on the television. A rockstar, whose name escaped her… She was sure it ended in Jagger. Or was it Mick?

Meanwhile, the group of five young toms took seats at a table nearby; but _this_ tom plonked himself right down next to her!

"Sooo? Bro? _You_ were pulling _chicks?_ And you _didn't_ introduce ME?" he said, without taking his golden eyes off of her. "You _know_ pulling chicks is _my_ job, right?”

Exuding suaveness and charm, he waved a dismissive, leather gloved paw towards Munkustrap. “Off you go, to your _patrolling,_ or whatever it is you do. I'll take this from here. _We'll_ be _just_ fine! _Won't_ we, my angel? My my! I can see why Munkustrap wanted to keep you all to himself! What's your name, precious?"  
  
Jazzie bared her teeth. "My name, is Doctor Jazzie! I think you are very rude barging in like this! AND you are TOO CLOSE!"  
  
"Oh! Don't flatter me!" He chortled. "The name's Rum Tum Tugger, by the way. Or, should I say: THE Rum Tum Tugger, at your service!” He took her paw and bowed.

 _“The_ Tugger is fine too…” he added softly. “But _you,_ my sweet, heavenly dacquoise, can call me Tugger. I'm cool with that! Just _you,_ though...!”

He suddenly noticed Lucitana Hortenseya and Norstara staring at him, and did an exaggerated double take! “Oh! _And_ you! And _you..._ _And_ you...!”

“Not you,” he said to Munkustrap, who glared at him!

“That's fine, Brother. I already have another name for you!” he replied sourly, and coughed something that sounded a bit like, “Asshole!”

Tugger grinned, “Got a frog in your throat there, Bro?”

“More like an incinerated badger in a fur coat…!” came the terse reply.

Ignoring him, Tugger turned back to Jazzie. She was far more interesting! “So? You and me, Mademoiselle Beart. How about it?" He asked, his voice smooth like polished mahogany, as he leaned in to kiss her, with the full confidence that she would be unable to resist his magnetic charms and that her standoffishness was simply her way of playing hard to get!

Therefore, he was quite surprised when all he got in return was a swift bat to the face!

"Get away from me!" she hissed. "I would not go with you, _e_ ven if you were the last tom on _EARTH!"_  
  
Tugger laughed, "Oooohohooo! I LOVE it when they talk dirty-!"  
  
"Brother, dearest!” said a voice. It sounded a touch strained, as though fighting to keeping itself pleasant! “Would you kindly stop harassing my guests. You know you'll never get yourself a _reputable_ queen if you insist on treating them like they are objects, solely put there for your pleasure!"  
  
Munkustrap appeared to be examining his claws, a bored expression on his face, having seen this all _far_ too many times before... However, when he shot his brother a warning stare, one might have imagined that he was shooting laser beams at him with his eyes! "And anyway," he continued with an exasperated sigh. "I don't need to PULL chicks as you so nicely put it! These are the queens we rescued last night." His gaze hardened still further. "Which reminds me: Where WERE you last night?"  
  
Tugger immediately replied, "I was busy-"  
  
"You were in the pub-" Munkustrap cut in.  
  
"I was busy in the pub!"  
  
"We could have done with your support, Tugger!” said Munkustrap. “But, you let me down, as per usual!" There was a note of weary disappointment in his voice, as though this wasn’t the first time he had been let down, not by a _long_ shot! "Now, if you'll excuse us..."

Looking as though he had just tasted something bitter, he got up to leave... And the queens couldn't join him fast enough!

However, not getting the hint (that he was about as welcome as a bad smell!) Tugger held up his paws and carried on, “Look! I would have _loved_ to have been there, Bro! I’m _sure_ I missed a great party… but, unfortunately, I had important shit of my own to sort out-!"  
  
Munkustrap turned back and raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Did it involve females, by any chance?"  
  
"Yeah it did, as it happens!" Tugger replied loftily. "How did you-?” His expression suddenly changed. “Oh, wait! _Dude!_ What _died?"_

He sniffed the air, wrinkling his nose. "Are you aware that you smell like a drain? How, in Bast's name, are you managing to steal my queens!? Oh-!" He caught a whiff of Lucitana. _"That's_ how!" He realised, holding his nose. "Peeeooh! Bollicles of a slommer must stingk dogether, I smose!"  
  
Munkustrap rolled his eyes, "Tugger! We were just on our way to-!"  
  
"The bath! Yeah! Too right you are!"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous! We don't smell _that_ bad!" Munkustrap contented, giving his arm a quick sniff in order to back up his argument... then immediately wished he hadn't! "Ooh! Actually… you might be right... for once! It must've been that Manx! That guy smelt like he'd rolled in something… I dread to think what…!"

“You got in a fight?!!!” said Tugger suddenly, as though he’d only just started listening...

“No,” said Munkustrap, his face deadly serious. “I skipped into Dirty Harry's, performed a merry dance and then skipped back out again! _That's_ how I got _this…!”_ He pointed to the cut on his forehead.

"Oh. So you didn't run into Old Mackers then?" Said his brother, as they started walking.  
  
"Obviously not!" Munkustrap scoffed. "Otherwise, I would still be _in_ Dirty Harry's, perhaps existing as a rather decorative rug!" (Jazzie shuddered at the thought!)

“Honestly! The things I do!” He shook his head.

* * *

  
In a small corner of the Scrap yard, away from the roaring machinery and swearing workmen, stood an old tin bath.

Rum Tum Tugger filled it with water, using a hose pipe attached to an outside tap and more bubble bath than was deemed necessary, so that the foamy suds spilled out over the sides! Seemingly impressed with his handiwork, Jazzie guessed that this was something he did regularly.

"Ladies first!" He announced.

Shooting him suspicious glances, the queens approached the bathtub, and nervously dipped their toes in... "It's _freezing!_ " Lucitana complained.  
  
"Oh, just get _in!"_ Hortenseya snapped, giving her a firm shove…!  
  
"Right! Just wash yourselves and get out," Munkustrap said briskly. "I haven't got all day…!"  
  
They stared at him... dripping wet and shivering. He stared back. “What?”

Jazzie made a desperate signal with her eyes, and _finally_ it clicked!  “Oooh…!” Looking a little abashed, he turned his back on them... "I won't look!" he assured them, and shot his brother a sideways glare. "That includes _you_ , Tugger!"  
  
Rum Tum Tugger dutifully turned around (but not before giving Munkustrap a furtive wink!)

"And absolutely _no_ peeking!" Norstara reminded them, as she and her fellow queens began to scrub themselves using a shared bar of off-white (and rather cracked) soap, and a piece of sponge that had seen better days!  
  
"I won't...!" Munkustrap gave a disinterested yawn... then glared at his brother for a second time! "TUGGER!"

Tugger whipped his head round, whistling, his face the picture of unimpeachable repute! _“What!”_ He asked, flashing Munkustrap a cheesy grin. It was not returned.  
  
"Ahem! C-Could we ha-have a t-t-towel m-maybe?"  
  
"Right here!" Tugger was about to hand over a worn, moth eaten towel... when the queens all screeched in unison:

"NO PEEKING!!!"  
  
Then, it was Munkustrap's turn.

Not minding the cold water in the slightest, he waded straight in and put his head under before he could think too much about it. He resurfaced just in time to see someone jump in beside him... "Tugger! What are you doing?"  
  
His brother gave him a hurt look as though he had just called him a horrible name! "Can't a guy have a bath with his bro just like old times? What's this world coming to?"  
  
Munkustrap sighed (for what had to be the one hundredth time!) "FINE! Just stick to _your_ side! _Okay!?"_

“Okay! Geesh!”  
  
Rinsing off the soap and grime, Munkustrap was about to get out, when he happened to glance up… to find Tugger about to squeeze something out of a plastic bottle, over his head! _“Now_ what are you _doing!?"_  
  
"Conditioner?" Came the innocent reply.  
  
"You _do_ realise that's for queens?" Munkustrap growled, batting the offensive item away. "I can feel my masculinity departing just _looking_ at it!"

Tugger simply laughed and proceeded to comb the opaque gel through his fur, using his claws. "Suit yourself bro!” he said. “More for me!"

Using a chipped Willow Pattern vase, he then tipped a large quantity of water over his head, accidently getting most of it over Munkustrap...!

"Uh oh…!"

* * *

  
Finally, everyone was clean and drying themselves off.

"Tugger? Can I borrow that comb after you?" asked Jazzie.  
  
"Of course, my little chicken chasseur!" Said Tugger. "Allow me..." And before she had a chance to argue, he began to expertly work his way through her fur, using a fake tortoiseshell comb to tease out the knots and smooth bits into place...

"Et voila, Mademoiselle!” He announced when he'd finished. “You look…!" He stared at her, open mouthed... but no other words appeared from within…  
  
Munkustrap chuckled and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "I believe that’s the first time my brother has ever been rendered speechless!” He said. “I really must congratulate you, my dear!"  
  
Shaking himself out of his reverie, Tugger cooly clicked his neck to the side and set to work on the other queens. When finished, he stepped back to admire them, much like a car enthusiast admiring his latest model… “It’s like Artemis and her Nymphs!” He said proudly, adding on a sour note, “And Munkustrap..."  
  
Munkustrap laughed, "And who are _you_? Actaeon?"  
  
The queens tittered. Tugger did not. "Yeah, well! You didn't have to duck me under like that bro!" he huffed.  
  
"Oh, I think I _did!”_ Munkustrap replied with a sly grin. “It was the most fun I've had all day!"  
  
"He's right, Tugger!" Hortenseya giggled. "It was rather funny!"  
  
In response, Tugger moodily fluffed his mane and offered the comb to Munkustrap... who stared at it. "And what do you want me to do with _that?"_ he asked (thinking of many things he'd like to do with it, that had nothing to do with its intended purpose!) "I could feed it to you, if you'd like?"  
  
"Dude!" Exclaimed his brother (it was his turn to sound exasperated for a change!) "You look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards! Or was that the look you were going for?!"  
  
Munkustrap shrugged. "Your point?"  
  
"He _does_ have a point, Munkustrap!" Jazzie piped up. "This bit is all sticking up! Here, I'll do it! No arguments!"

With that, she snatched the comb from Tugger and began to drag it through the disgruntled tom’s fur, while he rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Farewell masculinity... it was nice knowing you-!" Suddenly, he froze!

Jazzie's eyes widened. Fur spiked, tails lashed, and everyone was instantly on edge! All except (you guessed it) Rum Tum Tugger. He was busy smearing his fur with cologne and seemed blissfully unaware of the sudden change in atmosphere…!

"What is it?" asked Jazzie, frightened.  
  
"Thought I smelt something!" Munkustrap whispered. He sniffed the air again, desperately trying to catch a whiff of that fleeting scent... only for it to be drowned out by Tugger's cologne! "Tugger? _Why_ do you have to wear that stuff? It smells revolting!"  
  
"It gives me an air of sophistication! _You_ wouldn't understand-"  
  
"I'LL give you sophistication, in a minute!" Munkustrap hissed. "Come on!" He gruffly addressed the queens. "I think it's time we moved on...!"  
  
Heeding his words, the group obediently hurried away. However, before joining them, Munkustrap took one last look back, his eyes darting suspiciously from one heap of junk to another, his ears rotating this way and that... but could see nothing, nor hear anything suspicious over the hum of machinery and the clash of sliding metal…

There was _definitely_ something sinister close by though! He could _feel_ it in his bones! Suppressing a shiver, he quickly dashed off to join the others!

Meanwhile, in the shadows, a pair of amber eyes watched... hated, narrowed with murderous rage as the owner of them flashed its jagged teeth and uttered a deep, reverberating growl…!

Then it vanished... leaving behind no trace of its presence, other than eight, long scratch marks, scored into the side of an old fridge!

* * *

  
Having _finally_ gotten rid of Tugger (he'd said something about going back to the cafe because he was 'famished') the group arrived at the entrance to the Infirmary, looking neat and tidy. There to greet them was a heavily pregnant Angora matriarch. "Hellooo my dears!" she squealed breathlessly. _"So_ nice of you to come! You are _most_ welcome _indeed._ My name is Jennyanydots, Gumby Cat, resident nurse, midwife, nose wiper; or whatever else you wish to call me!"  
  
Looking to be well into her senior years, the queen had a coat of silky white, patterned with ginger, grey and black torbie markings. She was also wearing a pair of pristine white gloves, and an apron that did little to disguise her beach ball of a belly!

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Jennyanydots,” said Jazzie, reaching out to shake her paw, “I have heard so much about your work!"  
  
"As _I_ have _yours,_ my dear Jazzie!” Jennyanydots replied merrily. “A little bird tells me you are to be our new Doctor?"  
  
"Well, Munkustrap asked me and I said I would think about it,” Jazzie explained. “Perhaps a look round would help me to make up my mind?"  
  
Jennyanydots nodded, "Of course! Right this way!"

She bustled them all inside and they followed her into the mountain of scrap (which served as the Infirmary) walking along a wide corridor, before emerging into a large, open plan space, with cushions and crash mats on the floor. "This is the waiting area," The Gumby Cat explained. "Cats wait here until I am ready to call them."  
  
Jazzie noticed that Alonzo, Plato and Admetus were already waiting there, along with a Tortoiseshell Angora who had a kitten clambering across her lap. "I am rushed off my feet today," sighed Jennyanydots. "I _really_ could use an extra pair of paws...!"  
  
"I'll be right with you!" she called to the group.

Jazzie watched as Munkustrap went to greet them, embracing the queen first of all, then picking up the kitten and beckoning her and her sisters to come over. "This is my mate, Demeter," he explained, and then turned to address her. "Demeter, this is Jazzie, the queen we rescued, and her colleagues: Hortenseya, Lucitana and Norstara."  
  
Jazzie shook her paw, trying to ignore her squirming insides. For, although she smiled back, the Tortie’s honey coloured eyes observed her with… What? Suspicion? "Nice to meet you," she said evenly (She _seemed_ friendly enough!) "I hear you, too, were held captive by The Hidden Paw?"  
  
"Demeter, how many times do I have to tell you? His _name_ is Macavity!" Munkustrap reminded her. "None of this 'Hidden Paw' nonsense! You know that by mythologizing him, it only instills fear in people, and _that's_ what he gets off on!" He turned to the kitten in his arms, "Isn't that right, Meritas?”

“This is our son by the way," He told the queens. "My youngest. Say hello, Meritas."  
  
The kitten (whose fur was mottled white, with silver and brown tabby 'points') was busy trying to grab one of his ears! But, at being addressed, his ice blue eyes widened and he gave Munkustrap's ear a short rest bite in order to puff out his chest, in the most adorable impression of his father! "I not scared of Uncle 'Cavity!" he proclaimed. "Have to fight him! Grrrr!"

And he went back to attacking Munkustrap's ear. Munkustrap just smiled, his eyes unashamedly full of pride, "He's my boy, all right!"  
  
"That's what worries me," said Demeter, prizing the kitten back into her arms. "He has no sense of fear, whatsoever! That's why we're here. He fell off the climbing frame and banged his head! I'm going to get Jenny to take a look at him, just in case.  
  
"He seems fine to _me,"_ Munkustrap remarked, watching Meritas run around the room, pretending to be Supercat… "Superkitty to the rescuuue!!! Don't worry! _I'll_ save you...! Who need rescuing...?!”  
  
"But, if it makes you feel better, we have a doctor here _now,"_ Munkustrap carried on. Still smiling, he turned to the Snowshoe, "Jazzie? If you wouldn't mind?"  
  
"Of course not!" Said Jazzie, beaming.  
  
"Sorry to throw you in at the deep end, but, as you can see, we are in need...!" he muttered apologetically in her ear.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Jazzie put on her doctor's head and bent down to take a look at the wriggling kitten (who was _most_ put out at having been made to stand still...!)

“Mertie! Keep still for the nice doctor!” scolded his mother.

But the cheeky kit continued to wiggle! “Keep still, _you!”_ said Munkustrap, and clamped his paws on either side of the kitten’s torso, holding him firmly in place.

The kitten tried to squirm, but, of course, Dad was too strong! That said, he could still squall in protest at this most _unfair_ theft of his freedom… and so proceeded to exercise this God given right by opening his mouth and mewing as _loudly_ as he could...!

But soon he quietened down, becoming fascinated by Jazzie's tail, which she waved in front of him, being careful to keep it just out of reach of his sharp little claws…! "Hello, Meritas," she said kindly. "My name is Doctor Jazzie. I must say, it is _very_ good to meet you! I hear you bumped your head earlier, is zat right? Can I see?"  
  
The kitten nodded, looking serious. "You talk funny!"  
  
After she had examined him, Jazzie addressed Demeter, "I can feel a medium sized lump, but, otherwise, all seems ok. The skull is intact..."

Demeter nodded attentively.

"Any fits, drowsiness or vomiting?" Jazzie enquired.  
  
"No," Demeter replied, shaking her head.  
  
"Well then, I don't think there is anything to worry about... but, of course, if you _do_ notice anything suspicious, just bring him straight back!"  
  
"Thank you!" Said Demeter, looking relieved. "Right! I have to go and see Bombalurina! I _might_ see you later, Munkustrap?"

"Possibly," he replied. "Give Bombi my love, will you? Goodbye, little one!" He gave his son one last hug, and Demeter a quick kiss on the cheek before she left...

"Bye Daddy! Bye funny talking lady!" Said Meritas, waving, before scampering after his mother.

Munkustrap smiled and waved back, but the moment he'd gone, his expression turned grim. Walking over to his eldest son, he muttered, "Quick word!"

Alonzo followed him to a corner, where they proceeded to have a quiet, but rather heated, discussion. Gradually the room went quiet, as every cat strained their ears to listen... "It would be nice," Munkustrap was saying, "if I could just have a _little_ bit of acknowledgement... or even an apology. But no! You seem to think, that when anything goes wrong, it's somehow someone _else's_ fault, _never_ yours! And let me tell you! If I hadn't gotten out of there when I did, we would have _all_ been killed...!"  
  
"It wasn't _just_ me-!" Alonzo argued.  
  
"Go on! Disagree with me! I _dare_ you!" Munkustrap hissed.

He waited for another retort, but the teenager wisely kept his mouth shut and took his punishment, having to grin and bare the humiliating dressing down in silence ( _and_ in front of everyone, to boot!) "Rescue missions are _extremely_ dangerous, Alonzo! Therefore, it is _vital_ that you do EXACTLY what I tell you! You don't _go off_ and do your own thing! I _know_ you were only trying to prove something to me, but all you did was show me that you're not as ready for this kind of responsibility as I thought you were!"  
  
"So, what are you saying? That I'm off the team?!" Alonzo asked incredulously.  
  
"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying!" Munkustrap replied. "Until you can _prove_ to me that you have what it takes, I'm afraid you'll be staying behind from now on. I'm sorry it has to come to this, but I can't risk any more mistakes!"  
  
"But- _DAD!_ THAT'S NOT _FAIR!"_ Alonzo bellowed, and stomped over to the other side of the room. He angrily kicked a chair and then threw himself into it, putting his head in his paws!

A short time later, he glanced up and gave everyone a: “What the Hell do you think you're gawping at…!” stare.

One by one, the cats quickly went back to their own, hushed conversations, trying to act as though nothing untoward had occurred…!  
  
"Right!" Jennyanydots announced, as she bustled over to the new queens, brandishing a small tube of ointment. "The Worm and Flea Clinic is open! Jazzie, dear? You first!"  
  
"What is this?" Jazzie asked suspiciously.  
  
"Nothing to worry about!" Munkustrap reassured her, before shooting a glare at Alonzo, who was glowering in his direction! “Look at me like that _one_ more time _Son,_ and _I_ will be having words with your mother!” He growled, then turned to Jennyanydots. “Where _is_ Jellylorum, anyway?” he enquired.

“My sister? Oh, she's in the creche, dear, where she normally is!” Jennyanydots replied.

“Hmm…” Munkustrap flashed one last glare at his son, and promptly turned his back on him! Alonzo did likewise.

"Jenny has a zero tolerance policy on fleas,” he explained to the queens in a more placid tone of voice. “Those who have been within a barge pole touching distance of Macavity and his vermin must be thoroughly checked and treated. Myself included."

"Take a seat, dear," Jennyanydots instructed Jazzie.  
  
The Snowshoe obediently sat down, and the Old Queen began parting her fur, tutting every so often... "My my! You _poor_ duck! You're _crawling_ with them!” she exclaimed. “I shall commence treatment right away.” She held up the tube of ointment. “Luckily, all it is, is a little drop of this stuff on the back of your neck, which will kill everything: adults, eggs, larvae, the lot! _So_ much quicker than those _awful_ shampoos!"  
  
After the same prognosis for Lucitana, Hortenseya and Norstara, she eventually got round to Munkustrap, and tutted _again_ when she noticed the healing cut on his eyebrow, then gasped in horror as she parted his fur, to reveal a patchwork of angry looking bruises... "Goodness _me!_ _More_ fighting, Munkustrap?!"  
  
"I'm afraid so," came the nonchalant reply. “You say the same thing every time!”  
  
"Well, they must have been filthy, _whoever_ they were," she said disapprovingly. "You're positively _riddled!"_  
  
After treating all of the cats, The Gumbie Cat handed Jazzie and her sisters a small tablet each, together with a small cup of water. "What's this for, when it's at home?" asked Lucitana.  
  
"Worming tablets," Jennyanydots informed them. "We all need to take them at least once a month. You should start to put on some weight, now. You look half starved, you lot!"

* * *

  
When the Worm and Flea clinic was over, Jennyanydots took them to another ward. "This is the kitten's ward," she announced sadly. "We have many sick ones here."  
  
Sure enough, there was a line of beds along each side of the room, separated into cubicles by curtains. And every bed was occupied by a number of kittens of varying age; some looking _very_ ill indeed!

"These are all strays," Jennyanydots explained. "Either abandoned or lost, we find them, or they are sent to us. And _these_ are the lucky ones! My sister Jellylorum and I give them as much love as we can; but there are _so_ many!"  
  
She sighed, "There is nothing sadder than an unloved, unwanted baby of _any_ kind. For they often grow up to be damaged adults." She looked at Munkustrap when she said this.  
  
"Hey! I turned out alright! _Eventually!"_ Munkustrap said with a smile. "My siblings and I were abandoned by our mother," he explained to Jazzie.  
  
"Only a few days after I delivered you!" Jennyanydots reminded him. "What a shock _that_ was!" A wistful look came into her eyes, and she seemed to be far away for a moment... But then, was startled out of her reveries by a loud rattling...!

Hurtling towards them, at great speed, was the most curious sight one ever did see!

Two little tom kittens. One, a peaches and cream tabby- supporting himself upon a wheeled, metal zimmer frame, using his thin, weak legs to propel himself. The second was a black and white tuxedo (who was completely missing the bottom half of his legs) and was pushing himself along in a wheelchair. "Haha! I'm gonna beat ya, Mickenzie! I'm gonna beat ya!" yelled the latter of the two.  
  
"Not if I beat you first, Maclarren!" shouted the other.  
  
They came to a halt at Jennyanydots's feet and looked up at her with a mixture of wide-eyed innocence and guilt on their young faces. "Now, you two!" she said sternly. _"What_ have I told you about racing? There are many sick kitties in here! You _must_ go back to the creche with Jellylorum. _Did_ you sneak off again?"  
  
"Sorry, Jenny," sniffed MicKenzie. "I just wanted to see me sister... Check she's ok, like..."  
  
Jennyanydots's tone softened. "Oh _yes!_ _You're_ Sophia's twin, aren't you? She's just here."  
  
In a small cot, lay a tiny bundle of peaches and cream fur. One would have thought she was a newborn kitten, had they not known that she was McKenzie's twin, and the fact that her eyes were open.

However, Jazzie could immediately see that there was something _very_ wrong with her; for her eyes swung unseeingly in different directions and she seemed to have no control over her limbs whatsoever…!

"Their mother died giving birth," Jennyanydots explained sadly. "Both kits were born with cerebral palsy, but, because Sophia was born last, she got it _much_ worse than her brother. Poor thing. I have made her as comfortable as I can, but I don't expect she will live much longer..."  
  
That seemed to make up Jazzie's mind. "I _will_ work here," she said decisively. "My sisters and I will serve your community for as long as we are needed. We owe you zat much! Do you agree, girls?"  
  
She looked at them, and they nodded enthusiastically. "Fantastic news!" Said Jennyanydots, sounding delighted. "If there's anything you need, just let me know."  
  
"Well... we need to go to ze London to collect some things," Jazzie said thoughtfully. "But, as soon as we get back, we can start straight away."

* * *

  
Later that day, they travelled with Munkustrap across Regent's Park, to the University College London Hospital.

Taking a key from a piece of string around her neck, Jazzie opened a locker and removed four brown, leather medical bags, passing three to her sisters.

Munkustrap watched with fascination as the queens then opened up the bags and went through them, thoroughly checking every piece of equipment inside, making sure they had everything they needed... "I need a new stethoscope. This one's had it!" said Hortenseya, holding up a tattered, rubber contraption with a pair of hooked ear pieces at one end and a metal scope on the other.

After that, Jazzie took them to a store room. Using Munkustrap as a lookout, she read from a list, checking off each item, as Lucitana, Hortenseya and Norstara filled up six large carrier bags with medicines (and other items unknown to Munkustrap). They then lugged it all back to the Infirmary!

After a few cups of well earned tea, the somewhat exhausted Munkustrap bid the queens farewell and they set to work.

Jazzie smiled. It felt good to be back doing what she was born to do!

* * *

  
When work was finally over, the queens made their way to their newly allocated den, which wasn’t too far from Munkustrap's.

They sat around a little camping stove, drinking more cups of tea and eating fish paste sandwiches, while discussing the events of the last few days.

That was when Lucitana turned to Jazzie. She had a distinct gleam in her eye. _"So?"_ she said. _"Do_ tell!"

Jazzie frowned. "Tell you what?"

Lucitana exchanged knowing glances with Norstara and Hortenseya. "What's with _you_ and _lover_ boy?" She purred.  
  
"He’s not my lover!" Jazzie snapped, wrapping her tail around her legs.  
  
"Rubbish!" It was Norstara's turn to continue the interrogation, "I've seen the way you look at him. And you _swore_ you'd never fall in love-!"  
  
"I'm NOT in love!" _(Wasn't_ she?)  
  
"Yes, you _are!_ You _lurve_ him!" Lucitana teased, giving her a playful shove!  
  
"I do _NOT!"_ Jazzie huffed, crossing her arms.

"And he _definitely_ fancies _you!"_ Hortenseya piped up.  
  
"Tensy! For the last time, I am NOT-!" Jazzie's eyes widened. "Wait? What did you say?!"  
  
"Oh... I clocked him checking you out when he thought no one was looking..." Hortenseya replied in an offhand manner. "But he didn't bank on me having eyes in the back of my head!"  
  
"You mean, you haven't noticed the _chemistry_ between you two?" Lucitana asked incredulously. "Cat Everlasting, Girl! Are you _blind?_ It's positively _buzzing!"_  
  
"Yeah!" they all agreed. Except for Jazzie, who scowled at them.  
  
"You should ask him out!" Hortenseya persisted. "Come on! You'd make a _really_ cute couple! And besides, you wouldn't be alone. I quite fancy that black Angora that came in earlier myself...!"  
  
"Really?" asked Norstara, raising an eyebrow. "Isn't he a bit… you know... vertically challenged?"  
  
"Yeah! But his eyes are like _magic!"_ Hortenseya sighed dreamily. Then she said decisively, "So, Jazz! I'll ask mine out if you ask _your's_ out. How about it?"

“Um… he already _has_ a mate!” Jazzie argued. “Or did you _completely_ miss that?!”

Hortenseya shrugged. “Yeah? So what? He's probably got hundreds!”

At Jazzie's ill concealed look of dismay, she gently reasoned, “A tom _can_ have more than _one_ , you know! It's not exactly unheard of, is it? I don't know why some queens make such a fuss about it, to be honest. It's perfectly normal! Especially for a tom of Munkustrap’s calibre.” She smirked, adding slyly, “What with him being an _alpha_ male and everything!”  
  
"I'm off to bed!" Jazzie said moodily.  
  
The others exchanged shrugs and followed suit... "She definitely _is!"_ Lucitana whispered to Norstara.  
  
"I heard that!" Jazzie snapped.

Trying to ignore her tittering colleagues, she lay down and closed her eyes, to find a handsome, silver face there to greet her... just as it had done from the moment she’d clapped eyes on him...

 _“I can't believe that life's so complex_ _  
_ _When I just want to sit here and watch you undress_ _  
_ _I can't believe that life's so complex_ _  
_ _When I just want to sit here and watch you undress_ _  
_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, love, love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _  
_ _Does it have to be a life full of dread_ _  
_ _I wanna chase you round the table, I wanna touch your head_ _  
_ _Does it have to be a life full of dread_ _  
_ _I wanna chase you round the table, I wanna touch your head_ _  
_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, love, love, love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _  
_ _I can't believe that the axis turns on suffering_ _  
_ _When you taste so good_ _  
_ _I can't believe that the axis turns on suffering_ _  
_ _When my head burns_ _  
_ _  
_ _Love, love, love, love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, love, love, love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _  
_ _Even in the summer_ _  
_ _Even in the spring_ _  
_ _You can never get too much of_ _  
_ _A wonderful thing_ _  
_ _  
_ _You're the only story that I never told_ _  
_ _You're my dirty little secret, wanna keep you so_ _  
_ _You're the only story that never been told_ _  
_ _You're my dirty little secret, wanna keep you so_ _  
_ _  
_ _Come on out, come on over, help me forget_ _  
_ _Keep the walls from falling as they're tumbling in_ _  
_ _Come on out, come on over, help me forget_ _  
_ _Keep the walls from falling on me, tumbling in_ _  
_ _Keep the walls from falling as they're tumbling in_ _  
_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, love, love, love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, love, love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, love, love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, love, love, love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling_ _  
_ _This is love, this is love_ _  
_ _That I'm feeling.”_  
(This Is Love by PJ Harvey)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't lie to you, this is not the most exciting chapter!  
> *1 My God! Am I dreaming?  
> *2 He's gorgeous! Jazzie! Do not be crazy! Do not lose your head because of a tom!  
> *3 Shit!


	4. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Depictions of violence, rape and sexual references! They aren't explicit but I wouldn't exactly say they were mild either...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My God! I am literally this far away from killing this chapter. It was UNBELIEVABLY hard to write. Aaaaaaarrrrgh!

_"When he passes me by_ _  
__He's a ray of light_ _  
__Like the first drop of sun_ _  
__From the sky_ _  
__And I know he's a king_ _  
__Who deserves a queen_ _  
__But I'm not a queen_ _  
__And he doesn't see me_ _  
__  
__When he dances_ _  
__He moves me to a smile_ _  
__And I see everything_ _  
__In him shine_ _  
__There's a grace in his ways_ _  
__That I can't contain_ _  
__I haven't that grace_ _  
__Oh, I haven't that grace_ _  
__  
__And the closer he gets_ _  
__I can't help but hide_ _  
__So ashamed_ _  
__Of my body and voice_ _  
__There are boundaries_ _  
__We pass in spite of the war_ _  
__But our own_ _  
__We can't seem to cross_ _  
__  
__She has a way that surrounds her_ _  
__So delicate_ _  
__With a glory that reigns in her life_ _  
__She is also so much that she is not_ _  
__These things, I can see_ _  
__Because he doesn't see me_ _  
__And he doesn't see me_ _  
__  
__There are things we can change_ _  
__If we just choose to fight_ _  
__But the walls of injustice are high_ _  
__  
__When he passes me by_ _  
__He's a ray of light_ _  
__Like the first drop of sun_ _  
__From the sky_ _  
__And she knows he's a king_ _  
__Who deserves a queen_ _  
__Someone other than me_ _  
__Different from me_ _  
__  
__He doesn't see me_ _  
__He doesn't see me_ _  
__He doesn't see me."_  
  
(He Doesn't See Me by Sarah Brightman)  
  
Hectic days passed. Before Jazzie knew it, a week had flown by!

She was taking a short tea break one afternoon, having spent a busy morning doing all manner of things, from bandaging broken limbs to giving out medical advice to the sick cats of Lisson Grove... when who should walk in? “Bonjour Munkustrap!” She greeted. “Content de te voir!”  
  
"Hello, Jazzie," he returned somewhat more reservedly.  
  
She continued to smile. "Ça va?"  
  
"Je vais bien,” he ventured (with some diffidence!) “Sorry for the bad pronunciation!” *1  
  
"No, that was good!"  
  
"Phew!" He mimed wiping a paw across his brow, before clearing his throat and asking, "So? How are you settling in? Ok?"  
  
"Oui!" She nodded. "I have been rushed off my feet! What about you? I haven't seen you all week!"  
  
"Me?” He waved a dismissive paw, “Oh… I haven't been doing anything of interest. We have the annual Ball coming up, so I’ve been busy organizing that… which reminds me...!" He handed over four black envelopes, each one emblazoned with a Cat's Eye Logo. “If you would be so kind as to pass the others on for me? I wouldn't want to disturb your colleagues if they're busy!”  
  
She gave him a quizzical look as she accepted the items. “What are they?”  
  
He simply smiled and replied, “Open yours!"  
  
"Oh. D'accord." She tore open the paper envelope, removing from it a piece of white card with the same logo on the back. Flipping it over she saw, written in beautiful italics:  
  
_Jellicle Cats come one, come all_ _  
__  
__Old Deuteronomy hereby invites you to attend The Jellicle Ball_ _  
__  
__Where: The Tyre Clearing, Thames Scrap Yard_ _  
__  
__When: Full moon_ _  
__  
__Starts: Twilight_ _  
__  
__Ends: Dawn_ _  
__  
__Please arrive promptly and do bring your dancing shoes._  
  
"Wow! I don't know what to say!" She breathed.  
  
"Say you'll come," said Munkustrap. "I'm actually in the process of writing you a little dedication, which is another reason why I'm here. By any chance, do you go by any other names?"  
  
Jazzie looked surprised. "Wow, you'd do that for me? My full name is Jazzimoré... but, I don't really like it!”

It was Munkustrap’s turn to look surprised. “Why not? It's nice.”

She made a face. “Only my mother calls me that! My humans named me Claudette, after a physician who supposedly worked for Louis XIV."  
  
"Hmmm, Claudette... Claudette..." Munkustrap pondered aloud, "Yes, I think I can work with that..."

He regarded her and resumed his verbal ponderings, "You are full of fascinating stories, aren't you? I’d love to hear more about them sometime."  
  
Jazzie's heart did a kind of leap, twisty thing! "R-really?” She stammered. “Y-you want to hear what I have to say?!”  
  
"Of course!" He chuckled and went on, "I must admit, I am partial to a good story. Listening to, as well as telling one myself!"

She looked astounded.

“You seem shocked?” he observed.

“Well, it's just, people are always after my advice, but no tom… I mean no one... has ever wanted to know about me as a person, before…!”

He looked puzzled. “Again… you surprise me!”  
  
She pressed her lips together. "Munkustrap?” she said in a small voice.  
  
“Mmm?” He looked straight into her eyes, but she couldn't tell what he was thinking!

“Do you think we could… you know… maybe, spend some time together… sometime soon...?"  
  
He gave her a smile. An apologetic one. "That would certainly be possible," he said. "But... I am tied up for the next few weeks, what with the Ball and everything. Perhaps we could arrange something after?"  
  
She didn't answer. She felt like she'd swallowed a shotput ball!

"Well, must dash!" He turned to leave.  
  
"Munkustrap!" She called, trying to hide the note of desperation in her voice.  
  
"Yes?" He was halfway out the door.  
  
"Before you go, I wanted to ask: Will _you_ be getting a dedication?"  
  
"No," was the answer.  
  
This time, she really did look shocked! "Why not?!"  
  
He turned to face her and patiently explained, "Because, I am a Protector. Protectors do not receive dedications."  
  
"But… why?!" She exclaimed. "Surely you deserve one more than anybody-?"  
  
"I can assure you, there are many cats far worthier of a dedication, than I," he replied modestly. "And besides, I’m the one who DOES most of the dedicating, so it wouldn't really be right for me to receive one too. Protectors don't usually live long enough to get one anyway, so..." He shrugged, as if to say, "Oh well, c'est la vie!" Then, in a flash of silver, he was gone, leaving Jazzie feeling flabbergasted.

"Well!” she said to herself. “I don't care what he said! I'm going to put that right!"

* * *

  
A week later, a pair of Oriental Torbies were sitting in the waiting room. "Tantomile?" Jazzie called. "If you'd like to come through!"  
  
The rather spooky looking pair followed her into a cubicle, walking in complete unison. "Please, take a seat," she said, indicating the three chairs in front of her desk.

After her patients were seated, she gave them a friendly smile, noticing how elegant they were, with their short, silver and white coats, patched with chestnut and hatchings of dark mackerel stripes. "So?” She said kindly. “What seems to be the problem?"  
  
"Her aura is all off," Coricopat answered, turning his regel head to look at his identical twin.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Jazzie asked, looking confused (She was quite certain that they hadn't taught her about auras at le Collège de la Médecine!)  
  
"The colours have changed," Coricopat explained in a slightly vague tone of voice. "They are dancing all over the place and are more yellow than they used to be. They used to be blue, like mine. She also smells strange, somehow..."  
  
"I see," said Jazzie thoughtfully, looking into Tantomile's large green eyes. "Do you feel any different? Unwell at all?"  
  
"I have not been myself," the darkly beautiful queen replied, in a voice that was as vague sounding as her brother's. "I get strange visions. And I felt most peculiar this morning…"  
  
"I told you you shouldn't have drunk that brown goo!" Coricopat interjected.  
  
Tantomile shot him a steely glare. "For the last time, Coricopat, it was NOT brown goo! It was our human's kale, apple, blueberry, beetroot, avocado and horseradish smoothie! I just had this weird craving for it, I don't know why!"  
  
"Um... right," said Jazzie distractedly. Keen to diffuse the awkward situation, she opened her desk drawer and pulled out a small plastic pot. "Tantomile? Would you mind peeing into this, for me?" She held the object out to the queen.

When she received an incredulous look as a form of reply, she patiently explained, "I need to test your urine, just to rule anything out. Please. Le toilets are through there." She pointed in that general direction.  
  
Then she and Coricopat waited in uneasy silence for Tantomile to come back. "So..." she asked, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little. "How long has Tantomile been feeling unwell?"  
  
"It all started this morning," Coricopat recalled. "She woke up saying she felt queasy and rushed off somewhere (I'm assuming to throw up!) then, a few seconds later, _I_ started to feel queasy too!"  
  
Jazzie gave him a quizzical look, so he explained, "We are linked, therefore we feel each other's pain. God only knows what she's been eating!"  
  
"Oh!" Said Jazzie, semi understanding. "Thank you for clarifying. Magic is something that is very new to me, you see. Has Tantomile been anywhere unusual lately?"  
  
"Not _really..."_ Coricopat looked thoughtful. "She _has_ been dating someone on and off for the last few weeks... so whether or not it was the restaurant she went to-"  
  
"Who?" Jazzie asked suddenly.  
  
"Sorry?" Coricopat pricked up his bat-like ears, looking confused.  
  
"Who was she dating, out of interest?" Jazzie repeated.  
  
"Oh! Um…" Coricopat’s ears fanned out, and he looked a little sheepish all of a sudden! "I'm not _actually_ allowed to say," he admitted. "It's supposed to be a secret!"  
  
"Oh? Why is that?"  
  
Coricopat glanced guiltily from side to side (as though fearing the wrath of someone!) and whispered passed his paw, "Because... the guy she's dating _kind_ of has a mate already... and she's not exactly keen on _sharing!"_  
  
"Gosh!" said Jazzie, feeling guilty for Coricopat, as well as being all too aware that she may have asked one question too many! But her curiosity had been well and truly piqued, so she said, "That must be an unusual situation for you, no? I hear you two are always together. What do you do with yourself when Tanti is… you know… elsewhere?"  
  
"I'm assuming you mean, when she and the mystery date are *cough* busy?" said Coricopat with a slight smirk. "Yeeeah... I meditate. Mainly."  
  
"Ah. That's nice..."  
  
Jazzie got stuck for anything else to say, so it was a relief when the door finally creaked open and Tantomile tiptoed back in, holding the now full pot (and trying unsuccessfully to hide it with her paw!)

Standing by the sink, Jazzie tested the urine with a strip of paper and waited. The silence was deafening, so she hummed to herself as she carried out the task. Presently, she turned around in order to show Tantomile the result, and, with a bright smile, declared, "Tantomile? I think I have found the problem. Congratulations! You are pregnant!"

* * *

  
  
Later that evening, Jazzie wandered through the Junkyard in a whirl of thought, having decided to take the night off while all seemed quiet, leaving Lucitana in charge. It had taken her a while to console Tantomile, but eventually, she and her twin brother had calmed down and seemed to leave in good spirits. A happy ending, you might say! And Jazzie felt genuinely pleased for them. So then, why couldn't she shake off this feeling of melancholy? "Who could the mystery date _be?"_ She wondered.  
  
She probably _shouldn't_ have been thinking about it, but she couldn't help it! She _really_ wanted to know! However, she was so absorbed in her own thoughts, that she wasn't really paying attention to where she was going... _'smack!'_

She ran into something solid and fluffy...!

"AIE!" she shrieked, falling on her tail, then glared up at the culprit, instantly recognising the toothy grin and suave golden eyes. "Tugger! I might have known it was you!"  
  
The golden eyes laughed, and Rum Tum Tugger stepped out of the darkness like he owned it. "Hey babe? You stalking me or something?" He asked, as debonaire as any Hollywood a-lister.  
  
The golden points of his long fur scintillated beautifully in the weak beam cast by a nearby streetlight, just like his brother's did. Only, instead of stripes, his coat was peppered with rosette spots, like a leopard’s.

On closer inspection, Jazzie realised the spots didn't stop at the points, but actually covered his whole body. But, because the professionally clipped fur was black to match the spots, they were essentially invisible, only revealing themselves when the light hit them at _just_ the right angle...

She had to admit, he was a handsome cat. Breathtakingly so! Perhaps, if she’d met him first, then _he_ would have been the one to steal her heart? However... perhaps not. Beauty was only skin deep, after all... and if that was all one cared about, then that was perfectly fine! However, she knew she needed more than that.  
  
She hadn't known either individual for very long, but could already sense that, deeper down (not _that_ much deeper, mind!) there was something Tugger lacked. Something his brother appeared to possess in droves, but she was struggling to work out precisely what it was...

Modesty was definitely one. Even an idiot could see that! And she had a sneaky suspicion that integrity was another...! "You wish, Tugger!" she spat, getting to her feet and dusting herself off.  
  
He just grinned more widely. "So? What's a fair maiden doing out here all on her ownsome? Looking for some company?" He gave her a suggestive wink. "You know, you still haven't honoured your promise."  
  
"Promise for what?!!"  
  
"That drink?" _(What drink?!)_  
  
"I never promised _you_ anything!" She snapped. "Now, if you DON'T mind, I am tired…!"

She went to push passed him, but he grabbed her arm and whirled her round to face him! "No. I don't mind at all," he said.

Judging by the look on his face, he clearly had other ideas! "C’mon! Give a lonely guy a break! Just one drink, then I promise to walk you home after? You look like you could use one, too."  
  
Jazzie sighed. Well... if he was _lonely..._ "Oh… _all_ right!" she reluctantly agreed. "Just ONE drink, ok? Then, I go home!"

* * *

  
The Wellington Arms was crowded. Well, it was a Saturday, and cats came from all over to let their fur down after a busy working week. Meanwhile others were there looking for _other_ kinds of company!

In the midst of the chaos, Tugger led Jazzie, high fiving cats and shouting things like: "Hey Man! How's it going?" and, "Yo! Wassup dude! Long time no see!" until they finally made it to the no less crowded bar!

Tapping the wooden top with his claws, Tugger whistled to the barmaid, as though hailing a black cab!

She ignored him.

"Oi!” He hollered. “Lily! Lil! LIL! LIL! LILY LA ROSE!!!”

“WHAT?!!” She snarled.

“Whenever you're ready, Wench!"”  
  
The shaded chocolate and silver Burmilla was busy serving several customers at once. She shot him a glare with her brilliant green eyes and snapped in a broad Cockney accent, "Alright Tugger, keep ya bleedin fur on! Can'tcha see I'm rushed off me feet ere?!"  
  
Eventually, she got round to him and, with a fixed smiled asked, "So? What can I get ya?"  
  
"Two of your finest, please Lil," he requested. "One for me and one for the lady."  
  
Two small glasses of clear liquid were plonked on the bar in front of them. Tugger took one and knocked it back, smacking his lips and flexing his shoulders. "Wow! That's a good blend!" He surmised. "Another please, Lil!"

He had to shout over the din, caused by a sudden influx of customers, who were also shouting to make themselves heard above the thumping seventies disco that was blaring out!  
  
Meanwhile, Jazzie held the glass to her lips and took a cautious sip. She almost gagged as the liquid burned the back of her throat! "Bleugh! That’s horrible! You try to poison me?!" She cried.  
  
Tugger laughed derisively, "You gotta take it down in one, you daft apeth! Like this!" And he necked his second glass, banging it down on the bar, indicating that he wanted more.

"Alright... here goes!" She said, and gulped down the entire contents! And promptly started retching and gagging, her eyes streaming!  
  
Tugger chuckled. "Great, isn't it? Another for the lady, please Lil!" He called.  
  
"Uh...!" Jazzie tried to decline the offer, but her words got muddled. She could already feel her head starting to spin, the world going fuzzy around the edges…

"So?" Tugger was asking, an elbow propped on the bar. "What's with the long face, eh?"  
  
She looked at him blearily. "What...?"  
  
"I don't think I've ever seen you smile."  
  
"Oh… is nothing…!" She lied, but could see he didn't believe her. Plus, she couldn't think of an elaboration to back up her story, so decided there’d be no harm in admitting the truth... "Just, like someone, that's all. But I don't think they like me."  
  
"Does he go by the name of Munkustrap, by any chance?" Came the bored reply.  
  
"No!"  
  
Tugger raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? So, it _wasn't_ Munkustrap you were staring at the other day, when he got out of the water all _dripping_ and… _wet-?"_  
  
"No!" Her tail curled with embarrassment!  
  
He grinned and continued in a sing song voice, _"Somebody's_ mouth was hanging open so much, it was practically down by their ankles! And when he started to shake himself dry? Well! I thought _somebody_ was gonna have a heart attack-!"  
  
"What's it to you, anyway?!" She snapped, glaring at him.

Tugger rolled his eyes. "Trust me. EVERYONE loves Old Grumpupants! Though, I really can't see why! The guy's about as cheerful as a wet weekend spent in a leaky tent on a North facing hillside!” He gestured limply to himself with both paws, “Nevertheless, he is _forever_ swiping my queens, even though _I'm_ way better looking! I just don't get it!”

In the next heartbeat, he added, “You know what? Forget about him! Why not take a chance with a guy like me? Am I so bad?”  
  
The alcohol was making it hard for Jazzie to think straight. "No-no... I guess not..." she stammered.  
  
With a wink, he proclaimed, "I guarantee, you will have more fun with me! Here! Let me show you!"  
  
A spotlight appeared in the middle of the room and the crowd parted, leaving Rum Tum Tugger posing in the middle of the floor. The music started, and he began to dance, swaying his hips from side to side as he sang,  
  
# _"You don't have to be beautiful_ _  
_ _To turn me on_ _  
_ _I just need your body, baby_ _  
_ _From dusk till dawn_ _  
_ _You don't need experience_ _  
_ _To turn me out_ _  
_ _You just leave it all up to me_ _  
_ _I'm gonna show you what it's all about_ _  
_ _You don't have to be rich to be my girl_ _  
_ _You don't have to be cool to rule my world_ _  
_ _Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with_ _  
_ _I just want your extra time and your_ _  
_ _...Kiss"_ #  
  
He held out his paw, beckoning her to come over. The invitation to dance was too much of a temptation, so she got down off of her stool and began to sway over to him. Tugger nodded approvingly. "That's it, girl. Dance!  
  
# _You got to not talk dirty, baby_ _  
_ _If you wanna impress me_ _  
_ _You can't be too flirty, Mama_ _  
_ _I know how to undress me, yeah_ _  
_ _I want to be your fantasy_ _  
_ _Maybe you could be mine?_ _  
_ _You just leave it all up to me_ _  
_ _We could have a good time_ _  
_ _You don't have to be rich to be my girl_ _  
_ _You don't have to be cool to rule my world_ _  
_ _Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with_ _  
_ _I just want your extra time and your_ _  
_ _...Kiss_ _  
_ _Yes_ _  
_ _Oooh_ _  
_ _Aw_ _  
_ _I think I wanna dance_ _  
_ _Uh_ _  
_ _Gotta, gotta, oh!_ _  
_ _Little Girl Wendy's Parade_ _  
_ _Gotta, gotta, gotta_ _  
_ _Women, not girls, rule my world_ _  
_ _I said they rule my world_ _  
_ _Act your age, Mama!_ _  
_ _Not your shoe size_ _  
_ _(Not your shoe size)_ _  
_ _Maybe we could do the twirl_ _  
_ _You don't have to watch Dynasty_ _  
_ _To have an attitude (Uh)_ _  
_ _You just leave it all up to me_ _  
_ _My love... will be your food_ _  
_ _Yeah_ _  
_ _You don't have to be RICH TO BE MY GIRL_ _  
_ _YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE COOL TO RULE MY WORLD_ _  
_ _AIN'T NO PARTICULAR SIGN_ _  
_ _I'M COMPATIBLE WITH!_ _  
_ _I just want your extra time_ _  
_ _And you-ou-r_ _  
_ _...Kiss."_ #  
  
(Kiss by Prince)  
  
When the song ended, he pulled her to him. "So Frenchy, what d'ya say?" He cajoled.  
  
"My _name,_ is Jazzie!" she snapped drowsily, snatching the glass out of his paw and throwing back it's contents. Then she grabbed the microphone. "Now, it eez mmmy turn!"

After a quick word with the cat in charge of the sound system, she began,  
  
# _"Party girls don't get hurt_ _  
_ _Can't feel anything, when will I learn?_ _  
_ _I push it down, push it down_ _  
_ _  
_ _I'm the one "for a good time call"_ _  
_ _Phone's blowin' up, they're ringin' my doorbell_ _  
_ _I feel the love, feel the love_ _  
_ _  
_ _One, two, three, one, two, three, drink_ _  
_ _One, two, three, one, two, three, drink_ _  
_ _One, two, three, one, two, three, drink_ _  
_ _  
_ _Throw em back, till I lose count_ _  
_ _  
_ _I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_ _  
_ _I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist_ _  
_ _Like it doesn't exist_ _  
_ _I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry_ _  
_ _I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_ _  
_ _  
_ _And I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes_ _  
_ _Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_ _  
_ _Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes_ _  
_ _Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_ _  
_ _On for tonight_ _  
_ _  
_ _Party girls don't get hurt_ _  
_ _Can't feel anything, I push it down, push it down_ _  
_ _  
_ _I'm the one "for a good time call"_ _  
_ _Phone's blowin' up, I feel the love, feel the love_ _  
_ _I feel the love, feel the love_ _  
_ _  
_ _Sun is up, I'm a mess_ _  
_ _Gotta get out now, gotta run from this_ _  
_ _Here comes the shame, here comes the shame_ _  
_ _  
_ _One, two, three, one, two, three, drink_ _  
_ _One, two, three, one, two, three, drink_ _  
_ _One, two, three, one, two, three, drink_ _  
_ _  
_ _Throw em back till I lose count_ _  
_ _  
_ _I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_ _  
_ _I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist_ _  
_ _Like it doesn't exist_ _  
_ _I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry_ _  
_ _I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_ _  
_ _  
_ _And I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes_ _  
_ _Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_ _  
_ _Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes_ _  
_ _Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_ _  
_ _On for tonight_ _  
_ _On for tonight."_ #  
  
(Chandelier by Sia)  
  
Jazzie felt the world disappear as she whirled around, completely lost in the moment. Vaguely aware of other cats dancing and cheering around her, she climbed unsteadily onto a table and continued to dance and wave her arms like there was no one else in the room. She was having _such_ a good time... when she lost her footing and toppled... falling backwards into the arms of Rum Tum Tugger! "Hey Sexy,” he said, hiccuping slightly. “How about you and I go someplace a little quieter, eh?"  
  
Jazzie could only nod in reply, so he put her arm around his shoulders and guided her out of the busy pub.

They hadn't gone far, when he turned to her. The next thing she felt was cold, hard brick digging into her back- a pair of rough lips kissing hers!

Not knowing what else to do, she kissed them back, feeling her lips being parted and a tongue flick inside her mouth. The world spun, whooshing like an ocean wave passed her ears…! She shut her eyes! Stars exploded behind them! Something wasn't right…! This felt wrong…! Where was she...?  
  
She could sense nothing, apart from the mass of taut muscle pressing into her, moaning and grunting... his feather soft fur tickling her face, filling her nostrils with a strong smell of cologne.

She felt his rough fingers. A firm knee forced her legs apart!

Realising what was happening, her eyes snapped open! She tried to push him away…! "Tugger…! No…! Please…! You're hurting me...!"

She gasped, hit by something akin to needles scraping her insides!

Panic overtook and she screamed!

Clawing him across the face, she wriggled free and ran!

Down the alley... wracking sobs exploding from her chest as she stumbled out onto the main street...!

She had to get away! Even as her legs folded and she found herself face to face with the pavement!

* * *

  
They knocked quietly on his door.

“Good evening, Protector,” said Coricopat. “May we come in?”

“Er… yeah,” said Munkustrap, looking confused. “Sure.”

The minute the door was closed, the twins suddenly broke tradition with their not-all-there demeanour and beamed happily. "Thank so much for agreeing to help us out, Protector!" Coricopat said, shaking his paw. "My sister and I have wanted to be parents for so long, but, of course, we were unable to achieve that ourselves. Now, thanks to you, our lives shall be complete!"

Munkustrap frowned. “Hang on, you're way ahead of me! What's happened?”

Tantomile took hold of his other paw and placed it on her abdomen. “They're yours,” she explained.

It took Munkustrap a moment to catch up. Then his eyes widened. “Oooh! You mean…?!”

She nodded.  
  
He smiled. "Well, what are friends for, eh?" he said graciously. "Congratulations to you both."  
  
"How about we have a drink to celebrate?" Coricopat suggested. "Though not _you_ Tanti, obviously!  
  
Tantomile dipped her elegant head in agreement. "I shall be sticking to the water!" She looked at Munkustrap. "What say _you,_ Protector?"  
  
Munkustrap shrugged. "Sure, why not? Might as well!"

* * *

As they walked along Orchardson Street, all three cats suddenly pricked up their ears. “Someone's in danger!” said Coricopat.

“And so might we be!” Tantomile added fearfully.

The pair quickly melted into the shadows, leaving Munkustrap in the open.

He grumbled. “Oh, thanks! Leave me to face the music on my OWN, why don't you?!”

He got ready to fight, then suddenly spotted the cause of the commotion! "Flaming pigeons!"

He ran to her…!  
  
"Bastet of Bubastis, Munk!" exclaimed Coricopat, as he and his twin cautiously came out of hiding. “Is she dead?!”  
  
"God! I hope not!" Fretted the Bengcoon.

Fearing the worst, he scooped the unconscious SnowShoe up off the pavement, wrinkling his nose at the stench of alcohol!

“Is she breathing?” Asked Tanti, looking concerned.

Munkustrap checked, and gave a sigh of relief when he felt shallow breaths softly tickle his whiskers. "She is," he reassured them.

Coricopat placed a paw on the Snowshoe's forehead and closed his eyes. After a minute, he grimaced, as though in pain, and said, "I never thought I'd be the one to point this out, but I think the doctor needs a doctor. Take her to the Infirmary, they will help her there..."  
  
"...And _we_ shall celebrate another time!" Tantomile finished, with an almost coy smile.  
  
Munkustrap dutifully nodded. “Have fun you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!”  
  
"May all be well with the Good Doctor…!” Coricopat called after him.  
  
"We sense her pain. It is great indeed…!" Tantomile concluded.

* * *

  
Jazzie blinked.

A bright light was being deliberately shone into her eyes, but that wasn't what had initially woken her. It soon became clear what had, when her stomach gave a horrible lurch!

"Alright, my sweet," came the Irish drawl of Lucitana, as she gently rubbed her sick friend's back. "Get it all out, pet."  
  
"Will she be alright?" came Munkustrap's concerned voice.

"Don't you worry yourself, Munkus,” the Abyssinian said kindly. “She'll be right as rain once she's slept off the effects of the booze. Although, what on Earth she thought she was doing, I'll never know!"  
  
Jazzie groaned, "Ah zut! My head!!! I did something really stupid-!"  
  
"I'll have none of that talk, so I won't!" Lucitana scolded. "We all mess up, sometimes. Just don't go doing it again, or I'll have yer! Most important thing is, you're safe!"  
  
She was joined by Munkustrap, who looked over from where he was sitting. "What the Hell happened out there-?!” His brow furrowed. He sniffed the air... “Hang on… is that...?”"  
  
There were a few less than pleasant odours wafting over from where the poor queen was lying, clearly in a great deal of discomfort… but one in particular stood out!

And as luck would have it, the owner of it fell through the door at that exact moment, panting and wheezing... "Is she alright?"  
  
Munkustrap's eyes narrowed!

In a flash, he rose from his seat, pointing threateningly! “YOU! What the _fuck_ did you do to her?!!!"  
  
"N-Nothing-!" Came the weak reply.

Without waiting for further explanation, Munkustrap crossed the room, picked him up and slammed him against the nearest wall, causing the room to shake! "Oh? Then WHY is she in such a state!?" He growled, showing his teeth.  
  
Tugger flinched. "Dude! Quit spitting in my face, yeah-!"

“Answer the question, or I'll do more than spit in your face!!!”

“Oooh, I'm so scared!” Came the insolent reply.  
  
Munkustrap was livid! This narcissist had pushed all the wrong buttons and was arrogantly laughing about it?! He wasn't so much as asking for trouble, as begging for it! "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you RIGHT NOW?!" He hissed.  
  
"Cos... I'm your lil brother and I'm cute?" The slightly taller and leaner tom suggested. "Plus, it would make an awful mess!"

He tried to wriggle free, but Munkustrap held him tighter, threatening to strangle him! "Look, I'm sorry, ok!” He said (his voice sounding somewhat constricted!) “I was having some fun and I took it too far…! I wanted a queen before you stole her off me, that was all!"  
  
"Well, it _may_ have escaped your attention, but they are not YOUR queens, nor do I STEAL them!" Munkustrap reminded him. "I'M the one who has to pick up the pieces after they’ve come to their senses and seen _you_ for what you really are! But hey, if you have a problem with the way things are done, then I'd be more than happy to take this outside-!" He pointed a thumb in the direction of the entrance to make his point clear!  
  
"NO!"  
  
Munkustrap turned, softening when he saw that it was Jazzie who had spoken.

"Please!" She begged, struggling to sit up. "Don't fight because of me! It was my fault... I allowed it to happen-!"  
  
"Allowed WHAT to happen-?!"

But Tugger interrupted… "She's right! About us fighting. Perhaps we could resolve this some other way?" He kept a watchful eye on Munkustrap as he said this, trying to gauge what his likely reaction might be.

When nothing hostile happened, he looked at Jazzie. "Please, don't think bad of me, babe- I never meant to hurt you,” he said sadly. “I like you, that's all. I don't think I've ever felt this way, about anyone. Yet you'd rather be with _him?!"_ He shot a glare at Munkustrap, whose eyes had widened. "Heaviside! He's so caught up in himself, he didn't even _notice_ you liked him! Come _on!_ He doesn't deserve you! Don't you want someone who's actually got the _moves?"_  
  
Munkustrap rounded on him. "And that’s supposed to mean WHAT, exactly?"  
  
Tugger folded his arms. "I'm saying you can't DANCE well enough to be with her!"  
  
The brothers were, once again, nose to nose, and Tugger knew if it were to come to blows, then his older-by-ten-minutes brother would simply deck him to within an inch of his life, and probably mess up his mane in the process (because he was a cunt like that!)

Munkustrap was also clearly aware of this, judging by the way he raised his eyebrows and folded his arms, even though fighting his brother was the very _last_ thing he wanted to do! How had he let it come to this? "Well, then," he stated bluntly. "There's only one way to decide this, _isn't_ there?"  
  
"A dance-off!" they both said in unison.  
  
"You and me, at the Ball. The winner gets Jazzie and their intact pride," The Maned Tom challenged.  
  
"She is not a ‘thing' that you can just _win,_ Tugger!" his exasperated brother replied, running a paw through his head fur and pausing for a moment to consider the options.

He made up his mind. "Challenge accepted!"  
  
Tugger laughed and started to back out of the Infirmary the way he'd come in, before Munkustrap could change his mind about not beating the living daylights out of him! "This is gonna be too easy!" he jeered. “Gonna enjoy beating the WORST dancer in the entire Tribe!"  
  
"And it's a good job you can run faster than me, too!" Munkustrap snarled.

* * *

  _J'ai quelques mots à te dire_

 _Des mots simples à te dire_ _  
_ _On les entend souvent_ _  
_ _Dans les films chez les gens_ _  
_ _J'ai déjà dit ces mots simples_ _  
_ _On y croyant ou en feinte_ _  
_ _La première fois enfant_ _  
_ _À moi-même de temps en temps_ _  
_ _Ces mots simples_ _  
_ _Pour te les dire_ _  
_ _Je voudrais que tout soupir_ _  
_ _Disparaisse dans ce vent_ _  
_ _Que l'hiver soit aux amants_ _  
_ _Je voudrais pour dire ces mots_ _  
_ _Avoir inventé ces mots_ _  
_ _Qu'on me les dise chaque fois_ _  
_ _En ne pensant qu'à toi_ _  
_ _Tout simplement dire ces mots_ _  
_ _Il faut renaître de sa peau_ _  
_ _Oublier qu'on fut avant_ _  
_ _Pour d'autres un peu tremblants_ _  
_ _Ces mots simples qui font frémir_ _  
_ _Et certains autres mourir_ _  
_ _Je te les donne à présent_ _  
_ _C'est mon cœur, c'est mon sang_ _  
_ _Je t'aime._

(Ces Mots Simples by Vanessa Paradis)

Later that night, Jazzie found herself lying on a familiar bed, staring up at an equally familiar corrugated iron ceiling.

Munkustrap had brought her to his den so he could keep an eye on her, explaining that the effects of drinking so much Moonshine could be potentially life threatening, but that she was not ill enough to warrant taking up valuable bed space in the Infirmary. (Also, toms were not normally permitted to enter queens' dens, so he couldn't exactly stay at her place!)  
  
Unable to sleep, she sat up and watched him, as he busied himself making mugs of catnip tea for them both. "Would you really kill your own brother?" she asked with a frown.  
  
Munkustrap didn't answer immediately. "Excuse the mug," he apologised, handing one to her, then taking a seat nearby.  
  
Jazzie's mug had a statement on it saying: _World's Best Dad!_

Looking at Munkustrap’s, she read: _Easy Tiger!_

"And here we have an insight into Bomba's highly sophisticated sense of humour!" Said Munkustrap, noticing Jazzie's curiosity.

He tried turning it around... but this only made it worse, because the other side read: _Grrrrr!_

It made them both chuckle!

Turning serious again, he fixed her with a penetrating gaze and said, "To answer your question, it’s a little complicated. But yes, I have a brother who I would kill without hesitation if I could, because I know he’d do the same, if not _worse,_ to myself and my family. The situation has, unfortunately, bypassed all attempts at reasoning on my part and he is, in my opinion, too far gone to be allowed to live.”

He took a sip of tea. “As for Tugger, I feel I have been turning a blind eye to his behaviour for too long. It’s my duty to keep him in check and if he ever decided to challenge my authority, then I would have very little choice other than to kill him, or have him exiled on the advice of The Queen’s Council. Obviously, I wouldn’t take that decision lightly, because… well, he's my brother! And, in a way, I sort of blame myself for what happened-"

“Wait!” said Jazzie. “Surely you do enough without having to keep your own brother in check? Is he not capable of doing that himself?”  
  
“You'd think so, wouldn't you?” Munkustrap replied, his tone dry. “It would certainly mean less work for me. But no. It’s like looking after a grown kitten sometimes. And I'm pretty certain he has no idea of the stress he causes me.”  
  
“What with Macavity too, who I am sure is very aware?”  
  
“That merely adds to it.” He took another large sip of tea. “So? Want to tell me what happened with him tonight? With Tugger I mean?”  
  
Jazzie looked down at her own drink and swallowed, suddenly feeling too sick to drink it. “I… um… I'm not sure I can…!” She stood up.

“Is everything alright?” Munkustrap asked, looking concerned.

She didn't answer.

Sensing that everything was NOT alright, he put down his empty mug and got to his feet! "Hey now!” He said softly. “What's up?”

Turning to him, he realised she was crying! Damn! What had he said?! “Bast! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…! Ah... come here!” He gently took the mug from her, put it on the windowsill and put his arms around her.  
  
She immediately folded into him, only too grateful to rest her head on his chest and close her eyes, hearing the rhythmic thud of his heartbeat against her cheek, coupled with the vibrations of a purr, emanating from deep within his throat. The sounds made her chuckle, in spite of the tears rolling down her cheeks!

"Something amuses you?" He asked quietly.

She answered with a sigh, “For someone who acts so tough, you are very soft!”

“Do I act tough?”

“You are certainly resolute."  
  
He had to laugh at that, "Well, I wouldn't be much use as a Protector if I wasn't!"  
  
She looked up.

Aqua eyes gazed into hers so intensely, they might have been looking into her very soul... but were not about to give up their own secrets so easily! "I believe you are a mystery, wrapped in an enigma," she mused.  
  
He gave her a quizzical look. "How so?"  
  
"You keep everything hidden."  
  
He shrugged and gave a laconic reply, "It's probably for the best."  
  
"Do you always do what is best?"  
  
"I try to weigh up everything I do. I might get it wrong sometimes, but I'm always pragmatic about it. Mistakes can be powerful tools. As Protectors, we document everything, so mistakes are learned from the past.”

"I don't think I want to learn from mine,” she said sadly.

“Of course you don't. But if you see negative experiences as just that, then you will never come to terms with them.”

“But what if I can't see any positives?”

“You will, in time. I like to view past mistakes as hard won gifts. Ones that can then be passed off as advice!”

“Gosh! You must have made a lot of mistakes!”  
  
“A few,” he deadpanned, noticing how her eyes sparkled when she smiled.

His lips accidentally brushed across her temples...! "Sorry-!" He muttered.

“It's ok!” she said.

“I'm not sure it is.”

“Why?”

She tilted her head. He caught himself automatically leaning in, just as she leant forwards...

He inhaled sharply and pulled away, sincerely hoping she couldn't hear his heart hammering against his ribcage like a thing possessed...! "That's not a good idea!”  
  
"I am aware," she sighed, her shoulders sagging.

Damn! Why was he so restrained?! Couldn't he see, she _wanted_ him to kiss her?! She'd been so close to finding out what his lips might feel pressing against her's, but damn him! "Why did you agreed to that dance-off?" She asked.  
  
"I couldn't exactly turn it down," he replied distractedly. "That would mean admitting he is the better dancer."  
  
"And that's the only reason?"  
  
There was a pause. “Yes.”  
  
Her face fell. "Right. Good to know.”

“What?”

“Well, you know. For a moment there I thought you were going to dance for me!”  
  
“Oh. I see.”

“What, you don't believe your brother?”

He laughed dryly. “I never believe my brother. And neither should you.”

“I already made that mistake!”

Munkustrap at her sharply. "What do you mean?”

She was quiet.

“What did he do, Jazz?! Tell me the truth!"  
  
She looked down. "I can't! You'll be angry!"  
  
"I won't be angry!" He lifted her chin and gazed into her face. "I cannot help you if don't know what is going on!" He took a deep breath, and placed his paws firmly on her shoulders. "Tell me straight. Did he force himself on you?"  
  
Jazzie swallowed and gave the tiniest of nods.

Munkustrap’s expression darkened. The possibility that his own brother could have done something so heinous made his blood boil! “Well. I suppose that settles it then!” He growled.  
  
She clutched at his arms, "No! Please... you promised you wouldn't be angry!"  
  
"Jazzie, I'm not angry,” he said, his expression grave. “Angry doesn't even BEGIN to cover it!”

He roughly turned away, uttering a growl!

Jazzie felt shocked. “Don't hurt me!” She said in a small voice, one that didn't even sound like her own.

But it was enough to make him turn around straight away and gather her into his arms again. “Oh, Jazz! I would _never_ hurt you!” He murmured. “You _know_ I would hurt myself before touching a hair on your head, so don't EVER think that! Ok?”  
  
She sniffed and nodded into his fur. “I understand... just... don't do anything stupid, ok-?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  
  
"I have already done something stupid!" he said bitterly, letting go of her.  
  
Flexing his claws, he walked to the door… only to have her dive forwards and grab his arm! "Where are you going-!?" She demanded.  
  
"I’m sorry Jazz, but that Mangy Cur way overstepped the mark this time-!"

"Munkustrap, PLEASE!!!"  
  
Something made him stop and look back. She face was drawn, and pinched with worry. She looked utterly exhausted, and there he was...! "You should get some sleep," he said.

“What?!” She looked confused. “You're about to go and bust up your brother and you expect me to sleep?! How does that work?!”

He rolled his eyes, “You might like to try lying down?”

“Will you lie with me?”

“I appreciate your directness, but no,” he said. “It wouldn't be a good idea!”

“Please?!”

He sighed. “Don't look at me like that!”

* * *

After pleading and giving him some more of the wide eyed treatment, she eventually managed to persuade him to lie down with her, so long as a paws width gap between them was observed!

Ignoring this, she lazily reached back. Before he could object, she forced him to put his arm around her, then shuffled back a bit until her body was pressing up against his, with the innocent intention of stealing his warmth. However, she seemed to be unaware of the potential implications of doing this!

"I didn't mean to frighten you," he muttered into her head fur.

She softly interlaced her fingers with his. "I know."

He groaned. “My brother's a bastard!”

"You let him get to you."

“He knows which buttons to push. Even a Buddhist monk would struggle with him around!”

She laughed lightly. “It shows you care.”

“I probably care too much.”

“About him?”

“... About you.”

Her fur was soft, like cream velvet. He could feel the curve of her figure, melding perfectly with his, the rise and fall of her chest and the grip of her child-like fingers lovingly holding him-

He was taken aback by her sudden giggle! Looking around, he couldn't see anything worth laughing about! “What's so…? Oh! _Rats!”_

She giggled again.

"It's not funny!" He whispered, trying to move away from her.

"It is _very_ funny!" She whispered back.  
  
"What is? Tormenting me?"  
  
She shifted a little and suggested sleepily, "You know... if you _want..._ we _could-?”_  
  
It was just an innocent little comment! Carelessly thrown out there in an offhand way! But for Munkustrap, she might as well have opened up a floodgate belonging to the Three Gorges Dam! "Yeah!? Because _that_ would make things a _whole_ lot better!"

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… you've been through something traumatic. I don't believe you are thinking straight…!”

“Oh, so now you think I'm crazy?!”

“That's not what I said! I just think that us… doing _that…_ would not be wise! That's all.”  
  
He was thankful she couldn't see the pained expression on his face that clearly contradicted everything he was saying, though it must have showed up in his voice!

"Are you _sure_ you don't-?" She asked, quietly skeptical.  
  
"Quite sure!"  
  
"Then, why-?"  
  
He gritted his teeth. "Look! It's got a mind of its own, ok?!"

"Ok! If you say!"

He could tell, without looking, that she was smirking!

"Just try to ignore it!" He said tiredly.

He waited a few minutes.

She giggled again!

“Right, that does it!” Unable to stand the torture any longer, he got up and fetched his guitar.

She looked over, a hurt look on her face.

“Jazzie,” he said, sitting beside her. “Much as I would love to, you know we can't! My mate would kill me!”

“But-!”

He cut her off. “How about...!”

Then more softly, “How about you tell me that story? The one about the doctor you're named after, hmm? Like I said, I am interested to know more.”

“Alright,” she sighed and rolled onto her back. “The story goes like this:

“Her name was Claudine. She worked as an assistant to her father, who was Louis XIV's personal physician. The trouble was, back then, a lot of new medical knowledge was mixed up with superstition and witchcraft. But Claudine bucked the trend by carrying out her own research, and so impressed was Louis by her skill, that he made her his new personal physician. However, there was a problem. It was illegal for women to practise medicine. And so, Claudine had to dress up as man whenever she went to the palace. Unfortunately, her father was so enraged by this decision that he beat her, calling her the King's Pet! Then he drank a bottle of his own Laudanum and died! Of course, Claudine was destroyed by this! But still, she carried out a post mortem, and discovered that he had been poisoned! The Laudenum had been swapped! Worse still, was that medicine had been intended for the King himself!

“Despite her new position, things would only get worse for poor Claudine. After failing to save the lives of Princess Henrietta and then the illegitimate son of the King and his mistress Athanaïs De Montespan, she was given the sack. In despair, she took to drinking, but found love with Fabien Marchal, leader of the King's police. Sadly, her new found happiness was short lived, as she continued to investigate the spate of poisonings that had killed many at the palace, and came close to uncovering the truth. Unfortunately, she got too close and was murdered, they think by the perpetrator of the poisonings. Heartbroken, her love, Marchal buried her next to La Seine.”

While she recounted the tale, Munkustrap listened quietly, and smiled when she'd finished. “Wow! What a story! Such a brave individual! It is a good namesake!”

“Thank you,” she responded. “But I think you are mistaken, Monsieur. I am not brave. In fact, I seem to spend every waking moment afraid.”

“Bravery should not be confused with fearlessness,” said Munkustrap, as he tuned the guitar. “You are brave because you choose not to act on your fear. Like I mentioned with wisdom, fear teaches us to be brave. And, because you told me such a captivating story, I shall now repay you in kind!”

He began to play and sing as softly as he could:

# _“Baby, I see this world has made you sad_ _  
_ _Some people can be bad_ _  
_ _The things they do, the things they say_ _  
_ _But baby, I'll wipe away those bitter tears_ _  
_ _I'll chase away those restless fears_ _  
_ _And turn your blue skies into gray_ _  
_ _Why worry_ _  
_ _There should be laughter after pain_ _  
_ _There should be sunshine after rain_ _  
_ _These things have always been the same_ _  
_ _So why worry now_ _  
_ _Why worry now_ _  
_ _Baby, when I get down I turn to you_ _  
_ _And you make sense of what I do_ _  
_ _And though it isn't hard to say_ _  
_ _But baby, just when this world seems mean and cold_ _  
_ _Our love comes shining red and gold_ _  
_ _And all the rest is by the way_ _  
_ _Why worry_ _  
_ _There should be laughter after pain_ _  
_ _There should be sunshine after rain_ _  
_ _These things have always been the same_ _  
_ _So why worry now_ _  
_ _Why worry now.”_ #  
  
He looked over. "Yes-!"

She was asleep! A soft smile on her dainty lips. The beauty she possessed… well, it could only be described as otherworldly! And it was tugging at his heart strings!

He yearned to touch her, to hold her in his arms and kiss away her pain... _"You know that would be selfish and wrong!"_ He told himself. Unfortunately, his heart chose to ignore him!

"I think Trouble might be your third name," he whispered to her sleeping form, his paw hovering over her, about to caress her ears…

He quickly withdrew it.

Standing up, he walked to the door. "Won't be long..." he muttered, and slipped out into the night.  
  
_"I should have known better_ _  
__Than to let you go alone,_ _  
__It's times like these_ _  
__I can't make it on my own_ _  
__Wasted days, and sleepless nights_ _  
__And I can't wait to see you again_ _  
__I find I spend my time_ _  
__Waiting on your call,_ _  
__How can I tell you, baby_ _  
__My back's against the wall_ _  
__I need you by my side_ _  
__To tell me it's alright,_ _  
__'Cos I don't think I can take anymore_ _  
__Is this love that I'm feeling,_ _  
__Is this the love, that I've been searching for_ _  
__Is this love or am I dreaming,_ _  
__This must be love,_ _  
__'Cos it's really got a hold on me,_ _  
__A hold on me..._ _  
__I can't stop the feeling_ _  
__I've been this way before_ _  
__But, with you I've found the key_ _  
__To open any door_ _  
__I can feel my love for you_ _  
__Growing stronger day by day,_ _  
__An' I can't wait to see you again_ _  
__So I can hold you in my arms_ _  
__Is this love that I'm feeling,_ _  
__Is this the love, that I've been searching for_ _  
__Is this love or am I dreaming,_ _  
__This must be love,_ _  
__'Cos it's really got a hold on me,_ _  
__A hold on me..._ _  
__Is this love that I'm feeling,_ _  
__Is this the love, that I've been searching for..._ _  
__Is this love or am I dreaming,_ _  
__Is this the love, that I've been searching for…!"_  
  
(Is This Love by Whitesnake)

* * *

  
Still needing answers, Munkustrap found himself standing outside a familiar den. His nose told him the occupant was definitely home, but at first, he hesitated, remembering his promise. _"She didn't say anything about having a little chat, though!"_ he argued, and with that, knocked hard on the door. "Tugger! Open up! I know you're in there!!!"  
  
"Ooisit?" a muffled voice slurred.  
  
"The Everlasting Cat, you do you think?!"  
  
"Strange… you sound a lot like my Bro!"  
  
"That's because it is! Now let me in!"  
  
"Whatyawant?" A tone of trepidation appeared in amongst the garble.  
  
"I want to talk," said Munkustrap, in as innocent a voice as he could muster.  
  
"Can't it wait till morning?" The tired voice came back.  
  
Munkustrap was close to reaching the end of his tether! "Tugger! Unless you want me to BREAK your door, may I suggest you open it this instant!!!" He shouted, then waited a few more, _excruciating_ seconds, before losing patience entirely!  
  
Taking a step back, he was about to kick the door in, when he heard the sound of a bolt being pulled back. Slowly, it creaked open, to reveal a rather dishevelled looking Charcoal Bengcoon. "Hey man!" he yawned. "Wha's... AAAAHHH!!!" He squalled, as Munkustrap burst in, grabbed him by his ruff and slammed him up against the wall for the second time that night! "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" He protested, his voice rising a few octaves. "Watch the mane, dude! Say, why you all _angry?_ You seriously need to take a chill pill, or get laid or something, man!"  
  
Munkustrap snarled, bringing his teeth dangerously close to his face, "Just had quiet word with Jazzie! She told me about what you DID, you son of a bitch-!"  
  
"Told you what?! I ain't done nothin!"  
  
"Oh _really?_ You expect me to believe _that-?!"_  
  
"Believe _what?!_ What crap you trying to pin on me this time, eh, Sherlock? You're barking up the wrong tree…!”

“You _saw_ Jazzie tonight, right?!”

“Yeah, I saw her! We had a chat, a couple of drinks… maybe a dance or two... and-"  
  
"You forced her-!" Munkustrap finished with disgust.  
  
_"What-?!"_ Tugger shook his head. “No…! I never-!"  
  
"Oh? So, she's a liar, now?"

“Nice to know where your loyalties lie, eh Bro? You only just met her, and already you're lapping up everything she says!”

Munkustrap gave his brother a look of pure venom! "I would choose your words _very_ carefully if I were you! You're skating on thin enough ice as it is, you filthy crustacean!"

“What?! You believe her over me?! How long have you known me?”

“Long enough to know that you couldn't tell the truth to save your life!”

Tugger chuckled nastily. “She's got you right where she wants you, hasn't she?! Her little rent boy-!”

Munkustrap grabbed him and roared!!!

"Alright!” said Tugger, grimacing. “Jeesh! Are you so uptight now, you can't even take a joke?! You seriously need to dig up that sense of humour of yours, or borrow someone else's! And as for me and Jazz, it was just a bit of harmless fun, that’s all-!"  
  
"Harmless?" Munkustrap repeated. "HARMLESS?! Is _that_ what you call it?"

He stared at his brother, feeling sickened, wondering how on Earth he could justify his blatant lack of consideration for _anyone_ other than himself! "Tugger... she's traumatised! And Heaviside knows what she's been through already! That was the _last_ thing she needed!"  
  
His conceited brother shot him a petulant look. "Oh, don't tell me _you_ haven't thought about- OOOWWW!" He howled and hopped up and down, clutching his cheek! "Ah! The face! Motherfucker! Not the face!!!"  
  
Ignoring his puerile yelling, Munkustrap shook out his paw and hissed! "It is my duty to keep everyone safe! And even though I try, I cannot be everywhere at once! Therefore, in my absence, YOU had a duty of care towards Jazzie, and she SHOULD have been safe with you! Dammit! I take my eye off you for _one_ minute…! Do you know, I have just spent over an hour trying to calm her down? You should be ashamed-!"  
  
"Oh yeah? And who the hell are you to talk to me about morals, Oh Mr High And Mighty?" Rum Tum Tugger shot back. "Like _you've_ never forced anyone!"  
  
He'd gone too far! Well, actually, he had way overstepped the mark awhile back, but this was a different kettle of fish entirely! He had gone for his brother's weak spot: the big, red 'do not press' button. Why? Because he figured he couldn't possibly get into anymore trouble, so why not see how far he could push his unpredictable brother? He wouldn't _really_ kill him. Would he?  
  
Munkustrap growled again. "I thought I told you NEVER to bring that up!!!"  
  
Rum Tum Tugger sniffed, “Just pointing out, dude! If I were to rub your ass, I wouldn't exactly see my face in it!”  
  
Munkustrap raised an eyebrow. “And _you_ think what I did seven years ago _somehow_ makes me as guilty as you?” He shook his head, “No friend, it doesn't work like that! This is about you and what _you_ did, TONIGHT!” He jabbed a finger into his brother's chest and said sharply, “I might also point out that I repented for what I did, TEN TIMES OVER! I don't suppose that is something _you_ would even consider, judging by your lack of remorse!”  
  
Tugger shrugged, backing up that claim. “Well, unless you're deaf and blind, you know that The Tugger _never_ apologises-!”  
  
“Then, I'll make you fucking apologise!!! I will make you face up to what you did, even if I have to stand here until morning!”  
  
“Fine!” said Tugger. “If it'll make you fuck off quicker... I'm _sorry!_ Sorry your head's now so far up your arse, you wouldn't know bullshit if it bit you! She's just a queen! And unlike _you,_ I didn't murder anyone!”  
  
“No,” said Munkustrap hatefully. “What _you_ did was worse!”  
  
“How was it worse?! She was gagging for it…!”  
  
Munkustrap stared at him again! “Do I seriously have to read you the moral riot act? What you did was _obscene!_ An abuse of trust! And I am bitterly disappointed, not to mention DISGUSTED, that my own brother would sink to such lows!”  
  
“That's _your_ opinion! And if I gave a shit about _your_ opinion, I'd be balling my sexy ass off!” came the churlish reply.  
  
"Well. Let me put it another way then, SHALL I!? As long as I am alive, I will not tolerate the abuse of queens! So, from now on, you will not SPEAK to Jazzie! You will not go within TEN FEET of Jazzie! In fact, if you so much as LOOK at her the wrong way, I will be coming after you! DO you comply!?"  
  
“Since when did you get to tell ME what I can and can't do?” Tugger responded. “I’ll stick to doing whatever the Hell I want, thanks!”  
  
“I'm not giving you an option! You either agree. Or DIE!”  
  
"Alright, whatever! Quit lecturing me already-!"

Munkustrap grabbed him by the mane and pulled him up sharply! "Swear it! Or I’ll kill you RIGHT NOW-!!!" He thundered.  
  
"Yeah, yeah! I swear!"  
  
"Finally, we get there in the end!" Munkustrap showed his teeth and roughly let his brother go, so that he sank to the floor in a heap! Glaring down at him, he noticed his eye was already beginning to swell up. "Got any ice?" he asked, scathingly.  
  
"In the freezer," Tugger croaked.  
  
"Good. Because you'll need it!"

His brother might not be in the slightest bit sorry for what he'd done, but at least he'd come away from this with a stark reminder of why he was _not_ to do it again!  
  
Tugger shot him a filthy look and stormed over to the oblong box in the corner of the room, which, as he threw the decorative, chinese silk cover off of it, turned out to be the chest freezer.

His den was, by far, more stylish than Munkustrap's, if, slightly smaller; with the multitude of knick knacks and ornate furniture making it appear even more so. Half of the room was taken up by an indulgent, four post double bed. Next to this, an antique, victorian chaise longue sat upon a floor lined with plush, persian rugs. Very Rum Tum Tugger!

Meanwhile, the said tom was still moodily rummaging around in the freezer, when he pulled out a bag of ice cubes. He slammed down the lid, threw himself onto the chaise longue and gently held the bag to his cheek bone, wincing every so often... "Ah man! Why did you have to hit me so friggin hard?!" he complained.  
  
"Oh, don't be such a pansy! I merely tapped you!" Munkustrap contented.  
  
"You call rearranging my face, a tap?" said his brother incredulously.  
  
"If I had hit you for real, you'd be dead!" Munkustrap retorted, before softening his tone a little. "You really think I'm enjoying this? Fighting with you?"  
  
Rum Tum Tugger scoffed in response, which Munkustrap took to mean, "Yes!"  
  
He sighed, his shoulders visibly sagging as his rage died down to a smouldering sense of all-too-familiar frustration. It was like trying to fight a brick wall! "Tugger,” he said. “As my brother, you must know, what you did not only hurt an innocent queen, but hurt me too. Why you felt the need to do that, I do not know, and I do not care to find out. It is your life. Unlike me, you are free to do what you will. But this has to stop! If not, I shall be forced to get the council involved."  
  
"Oh, come on Bro!” Tugger objected. “No need to bring those dosey Old Bags into this! Last thing I need is a lecture from _them_ as well!"  
  
"Then you’d better stay away from Jazzie, or I’ll have no other choice!" Came the threat.

Tugger looked at him. "What is your problem, eh?" He asked. "I've had hundreds of queens and you've never interfered before! Not even when I flirted with the nieces!"  
  
“Innocent flirting is one thing! Rape is _quite_ another! And did you _honestly_ think I would simply stand by and let you do that to her?! Did you not consider the repercussions?! Wait... don't answer that-!”  
  
"Oh, I get it!" Tugger suddenly sneered. "You _do_ like her! Come on! Admit it!”  
  
Munkustrap was quiet.

“Ha!” Tugger slapped his thigh and gave a cynical laugh. “I knew it!"  
  
"My feelings are irrelevant!" Munkustrap replied, folding his arms.  
  
"Pah! You always wanted everything I had! The only reason _you_ want her, is because your little bro got to her first!"  
  
Munkustrap’s eyes narrowed. "You know, I could always even out the other side of your face, if you'd like?"  
  
"Nah! I'm good, thanks!"  
  
"Oh, it would be no trouble!"  
  
"She'll choose me!” Tugger retorted. “Hell! I can't think WHAT she sees in you! You're about as much fun as a dead rat!"  
  
"Rum Tongueless Tugger has quite a ring to it, wouldn't you say?" Munkustrap hissed.  
  
"Up yours!" Tugger showed him his middle finger.  
  
Munkustrap sighed again. He'd had enough of this! “Whatever, brother. I've got better things to do, than stand here arguing with a petulant kitten who won't face up to the harm he has caused! I may not be a saint, but at least I paid for my wrong doings!” Muttering, he made his way towards the entrance. “Enjoy the rest of your night, asshole!”  
  
"Don't slam the-!"  
  
Munkustrap walked out, slamming the door behind him!  
  
"...Door! Dickhead!" Tugger cursed as several pictures of saucy queens fell off the wall and smashed!

* * *

  
By the time the exhausted Bengcoon made it back to his den, it was getting light. With a yawn, he slipped back inside as quietly as possible, hoping not to wake the sleeping muse…

"Where were you?!"  
  
_"Damn!"_  
  
Jazzie sat up and looked at him accusingly.  
  
"I had to go on patrol," he explained. (Well, it wasn't a _complete_ lie!)  
  
Her eyes narrowed. But then, she seemed satisfied enough with his excuse and lay back down again.

Breathing a small sigh of relief, Munkustrap placed a woolen blanket over her skinny frame and settled down opposite her, resting his head on his paw. "How are you feeling?" He asked.  
  
"I am ok, as long as I stay horizontal,” she replied. “But I feel better for having you here..."

She reached out and gently caressed his cheek… using her fingers to trace the delicate lines that looked as though they'd been painted on by Bridget Riley!

He closed his eyes. _"Oh, God!"_ It was already too much!

Her touch was sending shivers down his spine, and he wished fervently that she would stop! But at the same time, with a deep sense of sickening guilt, his mind begged her to carry on! "Jazz!" He whispered. "What are you...!?"

His breath was snatched from him as her paw slid behind his head! Her lips were millimetres from his... "You know something? If you keep doing that, I might not be held responsible for my actions!" He hastily warned her.

"That’s the idea!" she whispered back.  
  
"But that would make me no better than _Him-!"_ He argued.  
  
"I do not care!"  
  
_“I_ care!"  
  
She only looked at him with longing in her eyes. "I want you!" She said.  
  
He shook his head. "Not like this-!" What to do? When half of him wanted nothing more than to gather her lovingly into his arms, while the other half was strongly advising him to push her away?!  
  
"Will you let me kiss you?" she whispered again.

"No!"

"Why not?"

 _"Because!_ I'm afraid I won't want to stop there!"  
  
"Well, maybe that is what I want-!" Came the decisive answer. She wasn't going to be put off, no matter how hard he tried!  
  
# _“I ain't hanging up this time!_ _  
_ _I ain't giving up tonight_ _  
_ _Even if you walk around_ _  
_ _As though you think you're right_ _  
_ _At your worst you still believe_ _  
_ _It's worth the fight_ _  
_ _  
_ _I could make it all go away_ _  
_ _Tell me what you think and don't delay_ _  
_ _We could be having some_ _  
_ _Sweet memories_ _  
_ _This heart beats for you_ _  
_ _Why can't you see?_ _  
_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _Stop denying, it's alright_ _  
_ _Shut up kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _  
_ _Stop pretending I'm not there_ _  
_ _When it's clear I'm not going anywhere_ _  
_ _If I'm out of sight then take another look around_ _  
_ _I'm still out there hoping to be found_ _  
_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _Stop denying, it's alright_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _  
_ _I could make it all disappear_ _  
_ _You could feed me all of your fears_ _  
_ _We could end all this pain right here_ _  
_ _We could rewind all of those tears_ _  
_ _  
_ _I could take it down to the floor_ _  
_ _You don't have to feel it anymore_ _  
_ _A love so real that it can't be ignored_ _  
_ _It's all over, baby, but I'm still young_ _  
_ _I'm still young_ _  
_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _Stop denying, it's alright_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight_ _  
_ _Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight!”#_  
  
(Shut up Kiss Me by Angel Olsen)

She followed this up by leaning forwards, and pressing her lips into his! Powerless to resist, he automatically deepened the kiss, tasting her, wondering how he was ever going to stop! When her touch was sending lightning bolts through his heart, as well as elsewhere. And when one of her legs hooked itself around his middle, he naturally pulled her closer, feeling her pint sized body pressing hungrily into his and wondered how he was ever going to stop!

His fingers found the indent of her spine. They trailed upwards and cradled the back of her head as she uttered the smallest of cries and kissed him aggressively, almost burning into him.

The queen who seemed as delicate as a marigold had gone wild! Little paws were everywhere- her claws raking and clutching his fur, tracing the contours of his shoulders and feeling their way to his chest. From there, they began to follow the line of his sternum, like a path, leading them to... _Holy Heaviside!_  
  
He pressed his lips together to stifle a gasp, his own paw having snuck its way to her inner thigh, and, with no small amount of encouragement on her part, found himself staring down at her, breathing hard, just as she was.

“You do want me!” She said.

“Is it that obvious?” he replied.

She hooked her delicate fingers into the ring of his collar and started to pull him down, her body rising up to meet his… and consequently, in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to feel her body next to his- to hear her sigh his name and make happy noises in his ear…!

He stared into those precious eyes, feeling them want him, craving his love like a desert craved rain… and felt panic sweep through him like the flood waters of the Nile! What was he _doing???!!!_  

“No!”

He swiftly detached her legs and paws from where they had wound themselves around his waist and shoulders, recoiling away from her as though she were an electric eel!

"What's wrong?!" She cried, pulling herself up onto her elbow.  
  
He sat with his back to her, gripping one of the tartan blankets in such a way that his claws punched holes in it. "Jazzie… I'm sorry, I can't- I mean, that's not to say I _can't,_ it's just… daaah! Something doesn't feel right…!"  
  
"What could possibly not feel right?!” She demanded. “I thought you liked me?"

He closed his eyes. "Oh, I _do...!_ It's just..."  
  
“Just what?!”

She crawled over, and ran her paws across his tense shoulders. “Tell me!” She whispered.  
  
He wouldn't answer, so she nuzzled his neck, causing the air to leave his lungs all at once...! "Jazz…! Just… stop! Please!!!"  
  
He tore himself away and went to stand at the opposite end of the room. Staring into the sink, he gripped the rim so hard that he left cracks in it!

"I don't understand...!” she said, her voice choked by hurt.

“Of course you don't!” He muttered.

“What is THAT supposed to mean?!”

"That I want you!!! Of _course_ I do!" he snapped, turning to face her. "I mean, look at you," he said in a softer tone, gesturing towards her. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! But it wouldn't be right! Can't you see that?!"  
  
Jazzie nodded and smiled through her tears. "Oui. I see." She shrugged. "It was my mistake. I-I thought… I don't know what I thought-"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Clearly, you don't see it-!”

“See what???!”

"Look! I maybe a tom, but I do have SOME morals, believe it or not!" He said defensively. "I don't exactly go around screwing every queen I see-!"  
  
"Oh? So I am just another queen to you?" She laughed, her tone dry and brittle. "That is charming!"  
  
He started to panic. "No…! You don't-! That isn't what I-!”  
  
"Oh, I understand perfectly!" She said coldly and started to leave...  
  
He uttered a groan of exasperation! "Where are you going!?"  
  
She stopped at the door. Her voice falsely melodic, "It's alright Munkustrap. You made yourself quite clear-!"  
  
"Jazzie, wait-!"

"What for?!" She demanded, her voice close to breaking. “Another knife in my heart?! Yeah, because that is _just_ what I need! Thank you, so much!!!"  
  
Tears sprang into his own eyes as he felt a sudden stab of guilt, like someone had put a knife in his gut and was slowly twisting it! This _was_ the right thing to do, wasn't it? Because it sure as hell didn't feel like it! "I'm sorry…!" was all he could think of to say...

She waited for another response. But none came, so she sang:  
  
# _"Give me one reason to stay here_ _  
__And I'll turn right back around," she sang._ _  
__"Give me one reason to stay here_ _  
__And I'll turn right back around_ _  
__Said I don't want leave you lonely_ _  
__You gotta make me change my mind_ _  
__  
__Baby I got your number and I know that you got mine_ _  
__But you know that I called you, I called too many times_ _  
__You can call me baby, you can call me anytime_ _  
__You got to call me_ _  
__  
__Give me one reason to stay here_ _  
__And I'll turn right back around_ _  
__Give me one reason to stay here_ _  
__And I'll turn right back around_ _  
__Because I don't want leave you lonely_ _  
__You gotta make me change my mind_ _  
__  
__I don't want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life_ _  
__I don't want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life_ _  
__I just want someone to hold me and rock me through the night_ _  
__  
__This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need_ _  
__This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need_ _  
__But I'm too old to go chasing you around_ _  
__Wasting my precious energy_ _  
__  
__Give me one reason to stay here_ _  
__And I'll turn right back around_ _  
__Give me one reason to stay here_ _  
__And I'll turn right back around_ _  
__Because I don't want leave you lonely_ _  
__You gotta make me change my mind_ _  
__  
__Baby just give me one reason, Give me just one reason why_ _  
__Baby just give me one reason, Give me just one reason why I should stay_ _  
__Said I told you that I loved you_ _  
__And there ain't no more to say."_  
  
(Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman)  
  
With as much dignity as she could muster, she turned on her heel and slammed the door!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *1 I'm alright.  
> This was the chapter from Heeeellll!!!  
> Quick note: Jellicle Cats live in a mostly anarchic society. They do not abide by human law, and so, therefore have no real sense of what a 'crime' is. I know its hard for us to comprehend a world where things like rape and murder are not seen as bad, but as part of the fabric of living. They do have a sense of what's right and wrong, but these ideas tend to differ between individuals, as you saw! All creatures want to be safe from harm, just as others will take advantage of the weak. So it is Munkustrap's job to ensure those in his care are safe, and that is what he does, but as a custodian, rather than a law enforcer.
> 
> PS. Had to add that Tracy Chapman song in there, I love it so much!  
> 


	5. Post Mortem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * Depictions of post mortem (well duh! Clues in the title!)

The tom awoke from a long and restless sleep suffering from a sore head, having been plagued by turbulent and quite often violent dreams. Ones that returned to him every time he slept; although they weren't usually as bad if someone slept alongside him.

Hastily, he checked his face and paws, glancing over his shoulder to feel his back. There had been blood this time! _So_ much _blood...!_ On his face, saturating his fur... pouring from his nose and mouth so that it choked him...!

Finding himself clean and free of blood, he lay back down and tried to go back to sleep. It was important that he rest.

In fact, in The Book of Protectorship (an ancient manuscript that all Protectors, past and present, had to live by) it was stated that:

_‘A successful Protector must endeavour to obtain the recommended twelve hours of deep rest, at the very least, in order that he can function outstandingly. Failure to do so could result in serious disciplinary action taken by the Jellicle Elders, and if deemed unfit, a Protector could be offered his resignation. Remember! An exhausted Protector is a danger to himself and to others!’ (Chapter 5, Rule number 6, page 104)_

However, the minute he closed his eyes, visions swept across his mind's eye: a face, very close to his, pressing something cold into the side of his jaw. It pressed harder, delighting in his pain, its cruel laugh echoing inside his head…

His eyes snapped open! Bugger sleep!

Stumbling over to the worktop, he unlocked a small cabinet above it, reached in and rummaged around until he found what he was looking for. With paws shaking a little, he pulled out an amber coloured medicine bottle, popped off the cap and shook a small white pill out of it onto his palm; which he then tossed back with a glass of water. Having drained it, he heaved a great sigh, as the events of the night before continued to weigh heavily on his mind. _"So what if she leaves?”_ he thought. _“Cats come and go all the time and you never let it bother you before! She's just another queen… yeah, keep telling yourself that…!_  
  
# _I've got you under my skin._ _  
_ _I've got you deep in the heart of me._ _  
_ _So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me._ _  
_ _I've got you under my skin._ _  
_ _I'd tried so not to give in._ _  
_ _I said to myself: this affair never will go so well._ _  
_ _But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well_ _  
_ _I've got you under my skin?_ _  
_ _  
_ _I'd sacrifice anything come what might_ _  
_ _For the sake of having you near_ _  
_ _In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night_ _  
_ _And repeats, repeats in my ear:_ _  
_ _Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?_ _  
_ _Use your mentality, wake up to reality._ _  
_ _But each time that I do just the thought of you_ _  
_ _Makes me stop before I begin_ _  
_ _'Cause I've got you under my skin._ _  
_ _  
_ _I would sacrifice anything come what might_ _  
_ _For the sake of having you near_ _  
_ _In spite of the warning voice that comes in the night_ _  
_ _And repeats - how it yells in my ear:_ _  
_ _Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?_ _  
_ _Why not use your mentality - step up, wake up to reality?_ _  
_ _But each time I do just the thought of you_ _  
_ _Makes me stop just before I begin_ _  
_ _'Cause I've got you under my skin._ _  
_ _Yes, I've got you under my skin."#_  
  
(I've Got You Under My Skin by Frank Sinatra)

* * *

 

"Say, Tugger? What's with the whole _shades_ thing?” Asked Coricopat, making a circling gesture towards his face. “Good night, was it?"

"Something like that," mumbled the black and gold Bengcoon, as Hortenseya ushered him into a seat. Her manner was distinctly frosty!

Indeed, Jazzie had told her colleagues about the night before. Or rather, Hortenseya had had to interrogate it out of her upon seeing her friend in such a state of distress, that she had assumed Munkustrap must have done something! It was only when she’d threatened to go round to his den and scratch his eyes out, that Jazzie had eventually come clean and told her everything! "If sir could please remove the eyewear?" she instructed.

But Tugger held them in firmly place and shook his head. "Uh uh! These babies are staying put!"

"Well, how am I supposed to treat you, then?" She said, her tone akin to an iceberg cracking in the sun.

"Oh, fine!" he huffed moodily, and delicately removed them... to gasps of shock from Coricopat and Tantomile!  
  
His left cheek was incredibly swollen. So swollen, in fact, that it had forced his eye partly shut, and the area around it was looking sore and inflamed! "Oh my whiskers! What in tarnation happened to your _face,_ friend?" Exclaimed Coricopat, barely able to hold it together. "Angry queen, was it? Or a jealous lover, perhaps? No, wait!” His eyes widened melodramatically. “Did her tomfriend catch you… in the act, as it were?"  
  
"I walked into a door," came the bored reply.  
  
"Tut tut, Tugger! You _really_ ought to be more careful," said Coricopat with mock concern. "I wouldn't want to _'face'_ the world looking like that. You might get 'mugged'! _That_ would give you a different 'portrait' on things!" He and Tantomile collapsed into guffaws of laughter, while Tugger shot them the death stare!

"You know, Cori?" He said evenly, but with the distinct essence of a threat creeping into his voice. "That gob of your's is gonna get you in serious trouble one of these days! May I suggest, if you wanna preserve your tomhood, that you shut your bleeding mouse hole!"  
  
This only made the Oriental Twins laugh even harder, with Cori holding onto his stomach as he howled at the floor!

Scowling, Tugger was about to get up... but was pushed firmly back down into his seat! "Don't even _think_ about it!" Hortenseya hissed, just as Munkustrap walked into the Infirmary.

The Silver Tom smiled and nodded towards the twins, vaguely wondering what it was they were finding so amusing, but was pulled from his thoughts when he spotted Hortenseya dabbing at his annoyed looking brother's swollen face. Although he didn't show it, he couldn't help but feel just a _little_ bit smug! _"Serves him right!"_ he thought, catching his eye and giving him a curt nod. "Tugger?" He said stiffly.  
  
"Wanker?" Came the churlish reply.

Munkustrap's eyes narrowed. "Unless you want the entire Junkyard to know the REAL reason behind your swollen face, _Brother,_ may I suggest you keep a civil tongue in your head!"  
  
“Ah! Kiss my tail-!”

“Oi! Will you two knock it off!” snarled Hortenseya. “This is a hospital not a WWE tournament!”

The pair finished flashing each other dangerous looks, before staring off in opposite corners of the room, with each deciding that the best course of action would be to pretend that the other didn't exist. Seeing as he didn't think the nurses would take too kindly to him smashing his brother around the Infirmary, Munkustrap looked instead at Hortenseya- who refused to meet his gaze. _"Oh Heaviside!"_ he thought, bitterly, _"This is going to be as much fun as wandering around Battersea Dog's Home with a bratwurst tied to my tail!"_

"Where is Jazzie?" he asked politely.  
  
Hortenseya jabbed her head towards a door at the end of the corridor (the one nearest the kitchen) and went back to her task.

Thanking Hortenseya (who ignored him) Munkustrap pushed the wooden door and descended a small set of steps to the basement. Once there, he stopped and looked around in amazement!  
  
The cold, concrete walls of the spacious room were lined with metal shelves, packed with scientific objects, including bunsen burners, microscopes, glass jars filled with herbs, powders and unidentifiable items pickled in formaldehyde.

And the curiosities didn't stop at the shelves, but were arranged, seemingly haphazardly, on a thick, oak workbench: with test tubes and conical flasks filled with coloured liquids, some connected by a network of plastic tubing like miniature roller coasters! And although eminently intrigued, something told Munkustrap that it would be best _not_ to touch! Jazzie might shout at him, and Hell knew she was already angry enough! He just wanted to apologise, that was all! But where _was_ she?

He sniffed. She was _definitely_ nearby! And so, was about to call out... when he suddenly spied her fuzzy figure through a frosted glass window... and felt an involuntary chill creep up his back! That was The Morgue! What was she doing in there?!

He cautiously entered the room, and immediately, his nose was invaded by the undeniable stench of death! But it was the sight that befell him that made him recoil!

Jazzie, wearing a blood stained apron and a white face mask, with a pair of odd looking spectacles balanced on her nose and a scalpel poised in her gloved paw. And lying on the table in front of her was the body of a small tom kitten, his torso cut open and pulled back to reveal his organs, some of which were lying on a tray next to him!

Seeing Munkustrap standing there, her eyes widened and she dropped the scalpel! "Munkustrap!" She cried, going to him, holding out her paws without thinking… "Please, I can explain-!"  
  
He stumbled back, staring in disgust at the blood that caked her gloves and apron! (From the cat's point of view, it was the colour of tarnished brass, rather than iron rust red!) "Get away from me!" He hissed. He couldn't look anymore! His head was reeling, and he felt slightly unwell!

"Munkustrap! Wait! You don't understand-!"  
  
"You're right, I don't!"

He turned on his heel and stormed out, with her desperately running after him as he charged out of the Infirmary- passing a surprised looking Hortenseya on the way! Tugger, meanwhile, viewed the whole situation with a bored, slightly self satisfied expression on his face, at seeing his brother pissed off without _him_ having to do a thing!

Jazzie tried to follow, but was held back by Lucitana, who had charged in to see what all the fuss was about, closely followed by a slightly breathless Jennyanydots! "Leave him to cool off, pet," she reasoned. "People always criticise the good work we do, especially when they realise it's not as pretty as simply wearing a nurse's uniform!"

"What happened?" Jenny chimed in. "I thought there was an emergency, judging by all the racket!"  
  
"It was my fault!" sighed Hortenseya. "I'm sorry, I didn't think…!"  
  
That was about the moment that Jazzie noticed Rum Tum Tugger... and gasped in shock! "Tugger! What, in Heaviside, did you do to your _face?"_  
  
"Had an argument with a door," came the reply. "It's ok. The door came off worse!"  
  
Jazzie's eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute! That looks more like a-"  
  
"Blunt force trauma," Hortensiya finished for her. "Yep! I know a paw strike when I see one!" She addressed Tugger in a more acid tone, "Munkustrap got you good! You must have _really_ gotten on his goat. Can't think how!"  
  
"Wait…! _Munkustrap_ hit you?!" Jazzie exclaimed. She growled and clenched her fists. "Oh! WAIT till I get my paws on him!"

She was already feeling raw... but to learn that he’d gone against her wishes, and lied about it too, cut deeply (and just went to show how badly you could misjudge someone!)

"He _did,"_ Tenseya reasoned. "But by the looks of things, I'd say Tugger _more_ than asked for it…!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah!" Tugger sniped. "I know what you all think of me! Like I give a shit! It's your job to treat me, not judge!"  
  
"Yes, Tugger," said Jazzie, coldly. "And when Tensy is done with you, kindly get out!"  
  
"With _pleasure!"_ Rising from his seat, he jammed his glasses back on upside down… before realising and fumbling to turn them the right way up! Then, with a "Humph!" he stuck his nose in the air and flounced out of the door with all the dignity of a disgraced fairy!  
  
Glaring after him, Jazzie hurriedly told the others what had happened down in the basement, and as she did so, her feeling of panic quickly morphed into despair! "Munkustrap had no way of knowing that I was trying to find out _why_ the nameless kitten had died so suddenly!" She was saying. "What am I going to do?!"  
  
_"I'll_ speak to him!" Jenny said decisively. "That tom can be so stubborn, he makes a mule look like a pushover! But I know he'll listen to me! Whether he wants to or not!" And with a steely expression on her face, she strode purposefully out of the Infirmary after the cantankerous Bengcoon!

* * *

He wasn't difficult to find. The old queen located him relatively quickly, sitting in his favourite lookout spot on the tractor tyre. She calmly sat down beside him, and in silence, followed his gaze out over the Junkyard.

The twinkling stars were slowly being smothered by a blanket of cloud, which itself was aglow with the rusted light leaching out from the bustle of London Town, though neither cat was particularly interested in the view. For, as colourful as it would have seemed to a human, their own eyes were unable to appreciate it. It was movement that they were more interested in. Preferably fast ones, like the ones made by rodents, or a lurking henchcat perhaps. "Did you know about this?" he asked, without looking at her.  
  
"Yes, I did, but…!" She continued in a slightly louder voice before he could interrupt... "You _must_ understand that post mortems are an essential part of what Doctor Jazzie does! It's what has made her the doctor that she is!"  
  
"What? Cutting up dead kittens?" He said, with a look of disgust.  
  
"She was 'cutting him up' to find out _why_ he had died!" Jennyanydots patiently explained. "And _if_ she finds the cause of death, she _may_ be able to save more from dying of the same thing. It's not something she does for the fun of it! But, nevertheless, she is haunted by every life lost, especially if it could have been prevented."  
  
He was quiet for a moment, allowing this new piece of information to seep through to his seething mind and slowly douse the flames therein. And when it eventually did, the only thing he could express was a self-doubting, "Oh."

It was excruciating to have to face up to the truth sometimes, but there it was... another one of his pet hates. Being wrong. He took a deep breath and rubbed his temples with his paws. "I've been an idiot, haven't I?"  
  
"Yes dear, you have!" she promptly replied. "You need not jump to conclusions and condemn what you do not understand! Did Grizabella not teach you _anything?"_  
  
"I should apologise at once!"

He was about to dart back to the Infirmary, when Jennyanydots grabbed hold of his tail and yanked him back! "I _wouldn't_ if I were you! You can't just go barging back in there after you've thrown your weight around! Let the dust settle. Speak to her when your mind is clear and you won't embarrass yourself anymore than you have done!"  
  
He sat back down, hung his head and sighed, "Yeah, you're right. As usual." He glanced at her. "Thanks.”  
  
She chuckled in a motherly way and asked, "What for?"  
  
"For knowing me better than anyone," he replied gloomily.  
  
She just smiled, then suddenly winced as one of the unborns kicked her in the ribs! "I'm getting too old for this pregnant malarkey…” she murmured, absentmindedly rubbing her belly to try to soothe the kitten that couldn't seem to decide where to put its feet! “Should probably make this the last one…”  
  
"If I remember rightly, you said that last time!" Munkustrap remarked, smirking a little.  
  
She ruffled her fur. "Yes, well! I really _do_ mean it, this time!"  
  
"Yeah, right!" Munkustrap scoffed.  
  
"I _do!"_ She looked sideways at him. "Besides, it's all _your_ fault!"

"Always is, isn't it?" He muttered, then fixed her with a piercing, but slightly amused look... "I don't recall that being the case. After all, it's not like I didn't _try_ to reason with you!"

"If my memory serves me well, you didn't exactly put up _much_ of an argument, dear!"

He stared at her. “Excuse me-?! I'll have you know I put forward a _very_ strong case of reasoning _-_!”

She crossed her arms. “Like Hell, you did!”

“I _did...!”_ He hesitated, “Well… I at least advised you to consider the possible implications of having a litter at your... erm… tender age!”

She glared at him. “Which I _did_ do!”

“Yeah, sounded like you were giving it quite a lot of thought when you told me my logic was feasible- accept that it wasn't _my_ decision to make!’”

“And your ‘strong case of reasoning’ for THAT was equally immovable, was it not?” she reminded him in a somewhat arch tone.

He had no answer for that.

“Exactly my point,” she said, grinning triumphantly. “It was non-existent!”

He mumbled sheepishly, “Well… to be honest, I can't really remember much after that...” Damn! She _always_ won the arguments!

In reply, Jennyanydots started to laugh, but quickly stopped and winced again. "Ooh! One of them's a feisty one!" She groaned, continuing to rub the lower part of her belly, while Munkustrap just looked at her and shook his head.

"You're a glutton for punishment, Jennyanydots! You ought to be putting your feet up, rather than chasing after _this_ grumpy old so and so, you know that, don't you?"  
  
She gave him a shove. "Oh, give over! You're not old! You just act it sometimes, that's all! Now. Why don't you go and see your current youngest?" She suggested. "Demeter is probably going spare waiting for you!"  
  
He smiled and replied, "You're the boss! But, please, speak to Jazzie, for me? Tell her I'm sorry."  
  
She smirked.

“What?” he asked, frowning.

She continued to smirk. "You like her, don't you?"  
  
"I don't know what you mean!" He scoffed, jumping down off the tyre and stretching out a paw to help her.

"Oh, I'm _quite_ sure you _do!"_ She said, taking hold of his paw and landing softly beside him, then lowering her voice to a whisper, "By the way, probably best not discuss this with anyone else. If _you_ had trouble getting your head around it, imagine what the rest will think!"  
  
"Who else knows?" He asked.  
  
"Just us, and your son, Mistoffelees… are you listening-?"

“Shhh!” Munkustrap motioned for quiet, straining his ears to listen. “We’re being watched!”

She gave him a shove. "Oh, give over! You're not old! You just act it sometimes, that's all! Now. Why don't you go and see your current youngest? Demeter is probably going spare waiting for you!"  
  
He smiled and replied, "You're the boss! But, please, speak to Jazzie, for me? Tell her I'm sorry."  
  
She smirked.

“What?” he asked, frowning.

She continued to smirk. "You like her, don't you?"  
  
"I don't know what you mean!" He scoffed, jumping down off the tyre and stretching out a paw to help her.

"Oh, I'm _quite_ sure you _do!"_ She said, taking hold of his paw and landing softly beside him. Then she lowered her voice to a whisper, "By the way, probably best not discuss this with anyone else. If _you_ had trouble getting your head around it, imagine what the rest will think!"  
  
"Who else knows?" He asked.  
  
"Just us, and your son, Mistoffelees… are you listening-?"

“Shhh!” Munkustrap motioned for quiet, straining his ears to listen. “We’re being watched!”

Jenny looked alarmed. “I don't like the sound of that!” She whispered as she glanced around, sniffed the air, and instantly recognised what she smelt! “Macavity!”

Munkustrap’s hackles rose. With his tail lashing from side to side, he glared at a pile of discarded items and started to growl! Something was moving in there! “Either come out and face me, or fuck off back to whatever sewer you crawled out of, Brother!” He hissed.

A pair of amber eyes glared back, spilling hatred, just like before! A bone chilling chuckle emanated from a pair of teeth packed jaws…!

Then it was gone!

Cautiously, Munkustrap approached the junkpile, going as close as he dared! When nothing jumped out at him, he jumped on it, scanning it, checking the nooks and crannies. “Macavity’s not there!” he whispered.

While there was still a strong scent, the Feline Thief had made his escape! But Munkustrap knew he hadn't seen the last of him. The swine was planning something! “Come on,” he said, hurrying back to pregnant queen. “I'll take you back to the Infirmary, just to be on the safe side!”

* * *

  
Demeter was busy making a pot of Cullen Skink when Munkustrap arrived... and seemed pretty annoyed at having been left there for so long on her own. "Where have you _been!?”_ She exclaimed. “I thought we were spending the evening together? Dinner's nearly ruined...!" Her expression immediately softened when she saw how drained he looked. "What's the matter?" she asked, as Munkustrap buried his face in her shoulder (so that his eyes didn't have to meet hers!)

"Oh... I'm just tired, love," he lied. "It's been long day..."

He gave her a chaste kiss... and this gave her the opportunity to search his face... but their moment was suddenly interrupted by a stampeding silver and white fluff ball!

"Daaaaaddddddyyyyy!" It yelled.  
  
"Oh no! Not you!"

He scooped up the kitten, relieved to have something to distract him, as the kit declared, “Supercat saves mum ‘gainst the Evil Daddinator!”

Munkustrap laughed as he let his son ‘wrestle’ him to the ground… and was promptly pounced on…! "Ow! Little tyke! You're vicious! What were you in your last life, a chihuahua? Ow! Right, you asked for it...!" He pinned the kitten under one arm and proceeded to tickle him, whilst Meritas giggled and snarled at the same time!  
  
"Meritas! Don't bite Daddy!" Demeter scolded.  
  
"It's alright, love, he's only playing!" Laughed Munkustrap. “OW! Although your mother may have a point, Mert! You've got teeth like a piranha!"  
  
They continued to play 'Kill Daddy!' until Demeter called them to eat. And after they'd finished and washed up, they went back to the game... only this time, with Demeter joining in! "Hey! Two against one!? Now hang on a minute… that's not fair...!"  
  
Demeter suggested with an evil grin, "Shall we find out if _Daddy_ is ticklish, Merty?"  
  
"Yeeeah!"  
  
"Good luck with that!” chuckled Munkustrap.

 

* * *

  
Finally, the kit was on his last legs!

Munkustrap carried him over to the bed, and kissed him goodnight... "Want sing sing!" yelled Meritas. "Or I no sleep!"  
  
"Alright!" his father relented. "But you must promise to go to sleep afterwards. Deal?"  
  
"Deal!"  
  
Feeling a little tired herself, Demeter settled herself on one side of the kitten and (after he had rescued his guitar from the floor!) Munkustrap sat down on the other. “How are the other three getting on?” he asked.

“His brother and sister are settled in their new homes," Demeter replied. "Cindykit has gone to live with the Grandparents in Cheshire and Ajax has moved in with the son and his new wife in Birmingham... looks like you have kits just about everywhere now!"

"I guess we won't be seeing them again, unless they decide to visit," Munkustrap said sadly.

"They are safe and well loved, that is what is important,” Demeter reminded him.

“Yes,” Munkustrap surmised, as he busied himself mending a couple of the guitar's strings. “They’ll have it better than you or I ever did, of that I’m sure.”

“And at least my humans let me keep this little one. Other humans are not nearly as benevolent."

"Daddy?” said the infant.  
  
"Mmmm?" Came the distracted reply.  
  
"When I old, I… I'm gonna be just like you! I'm gonna be brave and… and… fight stuff!"  
  
Munkustrap chuckled, "Hey, less of the 'old' you! And if you want to be like me, there are some things you have to do, first."  
  
"What things, Daddy?" The wide-eyed kitten asked.  
  
"Things that we could all do a little bit more of," said Munkustrap, as he began to re-tune the guitar. "At least, that is what I learnt today..."  
  
With the strings mended and guitar re-tuned, he met Demeter's eyes and began to gently strum it,  
  
_#"You know there's a lot that goes by the front door_ _  
_ _Don't forget the keys under the mat_ _  
_ _Childhood stars shine, always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _Go to pray 'cause your momma says to_ _  
_ _Visit Grandpa every chance that you can_ _  
_ _It won't be a waste of time_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _  
_ _Hold the door say please say thank you_ _  
_ _Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie_ _  
_ _I know you got mountains to climb but_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you_ _  
_ _When the work you put in is realized_ _  
_ _Let yourself feel the pride but_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _  
_ _Don't expect a free ride from no one_ _  
_ _Don't hold a grudge or a chip and here's why_ _  
_ _Bitterness keeps you from flying_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _Know the difference between sleeping with someone_ _  
_ _And sleeping with someone you love_ _  
_ _I love you ain't no pick up line so_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _  
_ _Hold the door say please say thank you_ _  
_ _Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie_ _  
_ _I know you got mountains to climb but_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _When those dreams you're dreamin' come to you_ _  
_ _When the work you put in is realized_ _  
_ _Let yourself feel the pride but_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _  
_ _When it's hot, drink a root beer, eat a popsicle_ _  
_ _Shut off the AC and roll the windows down_ _  
_ _Let that summer sunshine_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind_ _  
_ _Don't take for granted the love this life gives you_ _  
_ _When you get where you're goin'_ _  
_ _Don't forget turn back around_ _  
_ _Help the next one in line_ _  
_ _Always stay humble and kind." #_  
  
(Always Stay Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw)

* * *

  
At last, Meritas was sound asleep.

“Now, where were we?” Munkustrap purred.

Demeter put her arms around him and nuzzled his face. “You were going to tell me about what happened today?”

Munkustrap pouted. “I’m telling you, nothing happening! Can't we just skip to the part where you’re trying to find out whether I'm ticklish or not?”

She gave him a look. “I think we've established that you're not!”

“Yeah, but it's funny watching you try! And besides, maybe you just weren't trying in the right-!”

She raised her eyebrows. “Oh, really?”

He nuzzled her neck expectantly. “Yes, really…!”  
  
"Mmmmh…” And with that she kissed him… letting herself gently fall to the ground, him nuzzling her neck, gently nipping her collarbone... She flashed a glance at the sleeping kitten. "Munk! What if he wakes up?!" She whispered.  
  
"He won't-!”  
  
"He _might_ -!"  
  
"Not if we're quiet!" He grinned. "Or, should I say, not if _you're_ quiet...!" He moved down, delighting in her reaction… her soft moans as she arched her back... the rest of her sentence banished from her mind, along with any worries she might have had, until all she could think of was to surrender herself to him… when she suddenly remembered something else!

"Munk?"  
  
"Mmmm?" came the reply (which had a hint of "What is it _now?!"_ about it.)  
  
"Before I forget… I need you to look after Mert tomorrow. Is that ok?"  
  
Munkustrap glanced up. "What? Tomorrow?! Demeter, I'm rather busy! Can't Jemima look after him?"  
  
"Your niece is going out somewhere with Tumblebrutus," Demeter replied, as she distractedly fiddled with the metal ring on his collar... _"Please,_ Munkustrap! I _really_ need to get my fur and claws done at Bombalurina’s!”  
  
"And that's going to take all day, is it?" He asked, moving over her.

Demeter was quiet.

"There’s something you’re not telling me," he whispered in her ear.  
  
"I'm not the only one with secrets…!" She murmured, turning her head to the side.

She stared at the panelled wall, absentmindedly stroking the ears of the tom as he made love to her… the two of them as one entity, but separated by unknown oceans of thought...

# _“I'm under your spell_ _  
_ _Ain't nobody's business_ _  
_ _I'm already there_ _  
_ _And it ain't nobody's business_ _  
_ _  
_ _Every time he walks out the door_ _  
_ _I wonder if he's ever coming back_ _  
_ _But I can't help but love the taste of danger baby_ _  
_ _And the howl and the wind and the rough of his paws_ _  
_ _  
_ _I got caught out in the rain_ _  
_ _If I die I don't care I'm in love_ _  
_ _I'm in love, I'm in love with this tom_ _  
_ _I got caught out, caught out, caught out_ _  
_ _In the rain.”_

With a soft sigh, he released all of his tension into her, before finally succumbing to exhaustion and falling asleep, soothed by her singing and the stroke of her paw...

 _“I hear him crying in his sleep sometimes_ _  
_ _No tom wants to be told that he's been crying_ _  
_ _When he wakes up I tell him it's gonna be alright_ _  
_ _But I know that he knows that I'm just lying_ _  
_ _I heard he killed a cat down in the street_ _  
_ _And it tore his soul apart_ _  
_ _Tonight when he was making love to me_ _  
_ _There was a, another queen in his heart_ _  
_ _  
_ _I got caught out in the rain_ _  
_ _If I die I don't care I'm in love_ _  
_ _I'm in love, I'm in love with this tom_ _  
_ _I got caught out, caught out, caught out_ _  
_ _In the rain, in the rain_ _  
_ _  
_ _I got caught out in the rain_ _  
_ _If I die I don't care, I don't care_ _  
_ _I'm in love, I'm in love_ _  
_ _I got caught out, caught out, caught out_ _  
_ _In the rain, in the rain.”_

She turned her head to face him, gently encouraging him to move off of her...  
  
_“In his name_ _  
_ _In his pain.”_

He responded by groaning sleepily and obediently shifting, causing her to gasp as he released her! It hurt every time!

 _“Ain't nobody's business_ _  
_ _Ain't nobody, ain't nobody, ain't nobody's business.”_

She rolled onto her side, his arm draped protectively around her… and closed her eyes.  
  
_“I won't kiss and tell_ _  
_ _Like a spell…”_

(Caught Out In the Rain by Beth Hart)


	6. New Shoes

_“I know that I've been mad in love before_ _  
_ _And how it could be with you_ _  
_ _Really hurt me baby, really hurt me baby_ _  
_ _How can you have a day without a night?_ _  
_ _You're the book that I have opened_ _  
_ _And now I've got to know much more_ _  
_ _The curiousness of your potential kiss_ _  
_ _Has got my mind and body aching_ _  
_ _Really hurt me baby, really hurt me baby_ _  
_ _How can you have a day without a night?_ _  
_ _You're the book that I have opened_ _  
_ _And now I've got to know much more_ _  
_ _Like a soul without a mind_ _  
_ _In a body without a heart_ _  
_ _I'm missing every part."_  
  
(Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack)  
  
It was the day before the Ball, but instead of practicing her steps or going over her songs, Jazzie was sprawled out on her back, feeling the rays of the morning sun gently soothe her aching bones.

"Open your eyes," came Coricopat's hushed tones. "Begin to wiggle your paws and tails, feel the blood circulate. And when you're ready, sit up and we'll sing the closing Mantra.”

One by one, the practitioners blearily sat themselves up and got to their feet. There were about thirteen in all, and they stood together in front of Coricopat, paws together, and began to chant:  
  
“ _Ooooommmmm_ _  
_ _  
_ _Svasti prajabhya paripalayantiam nyayena margena mahim mahisa_ _  
_ _  
_ _Gobrahmanebheya subhamastu nityam lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu_ _  
_ _  
_ _Om santih santih santih_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oooooommmmm."_  
  
Smiling, Jazzie thanked Coricopat and rolled up her rug, placing it onto the pile. “That was my first time, trying yoga,” she said.

“I hope you enjoyed it,” the oriental cat replied.

“It was challenging,” she admitted.

Coricopat dipped his head. “Oh yes, indeed. The ancient art of Ashtanga Yoga must be challenging in order to uncover your deepest shadows and open the tightest and most rigid parts of yourself. It can feel like digging into the heart of a mountain using your bare claws, but I assure you, given a great deal of discomfort and patience, sweetness will come to you like a spiritual gift!”

“I can believe that!” laughed Jazzie. “I feel great already, like I could take on the world, armed with a feather!”

He smiled. “Hopefully it won't come to that, but you will probably ache tomorrow. At which point, I hope you will join us again?”

Jazzie grinned back and nodded enthusiastically, “Just you try and stop me!”

She moved away to join her colleagues. Once out of earshot, Coricopat looked at his twin, who was sitting beside him. “She did well today,” said Tantomile.

“I just hope it helped,” her brother replied. “There were a lot of threads to unpick, the needle was embedded deep. And I saw something else. Something that is out of our paws.”

“I saw it too, but I fear we cannot keep them apart. Let them have their time... we owe our Protector that much. He hasn't felt this way about anyone... not since…”

“Love like that can be destructive, Tanti,” he warned.

“Beautiful, though.”

“Destructive things always are…” came the gloomy reply.

Meanwhile, Jazzie was speaking with Hortenseya, trying to convince the skeptical queen to attend tomorrow's yoga session. “Oh come on, Tense! It's supposed to be hard!” She was pleading.

“And you'd have to be bat shit crazy to do something THAT hard... every day!” the Korat complained. “What are you, a masochist? I'm gonna be sore in places I didn't even know existed!”

“And, you know what'll sort that out?” Jazzie teased.

Tensey grinned, looking hopeful. “My sexy magician?”

Jazzie rolled her eyes. “More yoga-!!!”

"And, I must say, those downward facing dogs made for some remarkable viewing!" Said a voice in her ear.

Jazzie yelped and spun round! "Dammit! You fucking scared me!!!" She scolded, giving the tom a sharp _whack!_ on the arm!

Her sisters began sniggering into their paws. She scowled at them, and then rounded on the individual, who stood like a sarsen boulder before her. "What do you want?!” she said, in a voice that could freeze mercury.

“To see you,” he replied.

“And, what makes you think I want to see _you?!”_

At this unexpectedly hostile reception, he visibly crumbled. His tufted ears fanned outwards, his plumed tail, normally held elegantly aloft, sank to the floor.

Jazzie pursed her lips. "Well?! If you've got something to say, say it! And DON'T bother giving me those puppy eyes! They don't work on me!" (They were pretty eyes though!)  
  
He shuffled his feet. "Uh… well, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry?”

“Do you even know what you're sorry _for?!"_  
  
"Errrr… not _exactly…"_ Munkustrap floundered.

Her tone was akin to scissors cutting through paper. "So? You want me to spell it out for you, oui?"   
  
"I'm not sure I-"  
  
"Then care to enlighten me on why your brother is sporting a lump the size of a tennis ball on his face! And no more lies this time!"

Munkustrap grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck with his paw. "Ah… _that…"_  
  
"Yes! That!!!" She bellowed. (She reminded him of an angry polecat ferret, but  _daren't_ let the sudden spark of amusement show up on his face!)

Clearing his throat, he said with sincerity, "I'm sorry I lied. But what he did to you was truly awful, I needed to go round there and hear his side of the story. It wasn't that I didn't believe you, but accusing my brother of such a thing is really quite serious. If the Queens Council were to find out, he could be banished.”

He looked at the floor, absentmindedly rubbing his arm. “Unfortunately, we had an unforeseen incident, in which my paw moved, and his _stupid,_ smug face _might_ have… gotten in the way…”

With open palms, he confessed, “I'm not proud of what I did. In fact it sickens me to think it came to that... but, I had my reasons! Mainly, the fact that he didn't seem to think he'd done anything wrong! I thought knocking some sense into him would help him think differently, but… well… you saw how he was...”

There was a pause. He held his paws in front of him, not knowing what to do next.

"Right..." she said after a while. “Well, if that's all you've got to say to me…" She turned to leave.

"Wait!"  
  
She turned back, raising a scathing eyebrow.

He licked his lips. His mouth had gone dry all of a sudden. "A-about the other morning… I am truly sorry if I caused you any distress... I mean… it's not that I didn't _want_ to- that was never going to be an issue, trust me-!"  
  
She folded her arms, and felt her lips twitch. "You really fucking hurt me, Munk,” she said quietly.

"That wasn't my intention-!”

"Then, what _was-?!!!"_  
  
"To keep you safe!" He snapped. "And YOU could not have put me in a more difficult position if you'd tried!”  
  
She looked furious! "Oh? SORRY for having _feelings_ for you! Clearly, I am too disgusting to be loved by anyone!!!"

She was about to storm off, when he grabbed her arm! “Get off me!” She said quietly.  
  
"Please, just listen-!"

“I don't want to listen to you-!!!” She yelled, struggling.

“Fine!!! Then hear this!” he roared, letting her go. He spoke more calmly, “I don't think you're disgusting! Did you not hear what I said the other night?! I meant every word!”

She could feel tears picking the backs of her eyes as he went on, “The thing I am looking at right now is beauty in its purest form… and the _last_ thing I wanted to do was taint that!”

She looked confused. “Munkustrap…? That makes no sense!”

“Like I said, you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, and trust me, I have set eyes on a few! It's just that things are a little complicated for me, right now… I don't expect you to understand…”  

"Then stop insulting my intelligence and explain!" She hissed, vaguely aware that their arguing had attracted a small crowd of spectators!

He sighed. "Look! I just… I didn't want you to think I was taking advantage of you, not when you were in such a vulnerable state! It would have been wrong of me!” He fixed her with his trademark gaze and implored, “I was trying to be The Big Sensible Protector, but I got it all wrong and screwed everything. I never meant to hurt you. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to!”

He cleared his throat again.  
  
_#Please forgive me_ _  
_ _If I act a little strange_ _  
_ _For I know not what I do_ _  
_ _Feels like lightning_ _  
_ _Running through my veins_ _  
_ _Every time I look at you_ _  
_ _Every time I look at you_ _  
_ _Help me out here_ _  
_ _All my words are falling short_ _  
_ _And there's so much I want to say_ _  
_ _Want to tell you just how good it feels_ _  
_ _When you look at me that way, ah_ _  
_ _When you look at me that way_ _  
_ _Throw a stone_ _  
_ _And watch the ripples flow_ _  
_ _Moving out across the bay_ _  
_ _Like a stone I fall into your eyes_ _  
_ _Deep into that mystery, ah_ _  
_ _Deep into some mystery_ _  
_ _I got half a mind_ _  
_ _To scream out loud_ _  
_ _I got half a mind to die_ _  
_ _So I will never have to_ _  
_ _Lose you girl_ _  
_ _Won't ever have to say goodbye_ _  
_ _I won't ever have to lie_ _  
_ _Won't ever have to say goodbye_ _  
_ _Whoa I,_ _  
_ _Whoa I,_ _  
_ _Whoa I_ _  
_ _Please forgive me_ _  
_ _If I act a little strange_ _  
_ _For I know not what I do_ _  
_ _Feels like lightning_ _  
_ _Running through my veins_ _  
_ _Every time I look at you_ _  
_ _Every time I look at you_ _  
_ _Every time I look at you_ _  
_ _Every time I look at you."_  
  
(Please Forgive Me by David Gray)  
  
Jazzie smiled sadly. "I forced you into something you didn't want to do,” she realised.

He looked like he was about to fervently deny that, but with what felt like marbles in her throat, she reached up to fold her arms around his neck and whispered, “I'm the one who needs forgiving! None of this is your fault… none of it…!”

“Yeeeah... it kind of is!” He replied, and embraced her (to a chorus of "Awwww's!")  
  
He glared at the small gathering of evesdroppers... and didn't stop glaring until they’d made themselves well and truly scarce! Then, into the side of her head, murmured, “Je t'ai aimé depuis le début, c'est tout.” *1

She almost choked on her own breath!

And when they finally broke apart, he held her paws and said, "Est-ce que tu me pardonnes?" *2

Her smile broadened. “Avec une telle confession, comment ne pourrais-je pas? Jamais su que tu parlais ma langue!” *3

“I've been trying to learn a little," he admitted, pausing to wipe a tear from her cheek with his thumb, his fingers lingering there for a moment as he stared into her eyes, letting himself get lost in them, "I was rather hoping... maybe you'd teach me a bit more?"  
  
"Well..." She hinted. "If you _really_ want to get back in my good books…?” Her lips toyed with his, until he pulled her in close, kissing her deeply until her heart turned somersaults!

With a sharp intake of breath, she pulled away, staggering a little. “Oui! That should do it...!”  
  
His face was like that of a kitten who'd been given his ball back! (It made a change from his usual stoic expression!) "Come!" he said, glancing over at the now hysterical Hortenseya, Lucitana and Norstara... "You as well, ladies!” He called.

He then turned his attention to the real life kitten, who was in the process of making a den mountain out of the once neatly stacked rugs! Smiling apologetically at a less than impressed looking Coricopat, he quickly grabbed the miscreant and tucked him under one arm, then bent down to pick up a large cardboard box that was on the floor beside him. "Right then!” He said when he was ready. “Shall we go?"

The queens looked at one another and, with a collective shrug, began to follow him, wondering where he was leading them to!

Meanwhile, Lucitana brushed up against Jazzie and gave her a nudge. “You've only gone and got Prince Charming wrapped right round your little finger, so you have!” she whispered out of the side of her mouth, “Nice work, girl face!"

“Are you two slow coaches coming, or what?!” Came a holler from across the yard.

“Yes, _Munkustrap!_ We're... _coming!”_ Lucitana called back, then quietly muttered, “At least, _Jazz_ soon will be... on your…!” *Cough*

Jazzie's mouth fell open...! “Luc...!!!”

* * *

  
He led them to a shop just off of Park Road, which Jazzie immediately recognised to be a shoe shop, judging by the sign above the window which read: Dawson's Dance Shoes.

She and her colleagues marvelled at the display in the window, which contained every dance shoe one could imagine, as well as collars of various designs and other dancing accessories. They then piled excitedly into the rather cramped shop, thick with the smell of rubber and leather. “Mornin, all!” greeted an old brown tabby and white Devon Rex, who Jazzie assumed was the shopkeeper. "Mornin, Munkustrap! What can I do fer ye?"  
  
Munkustrap returned the greeting and explained, "It's that time of the year, Dawson! Therefore, I shall need to replace these..."

He passed over the cardboard box he'd been carrying, which, upon opening, was found to contain pairs of well worn jazz, tap and Pointe shoes. Some were found to have holes in the toes, while the sole was coming away from the black leather on some of the others! "I also have some ladies who are here for their first fitting," he added.

Dawson nodded. "Right then, sit yourselves down!"

He took out a gauge, and carefully measure each of their feet, writing down the results in a notepad. "Right! I'll just get those," he said when he’d finished. "How about this young rascal?" He chuckled at Meritas (who was in the process of pulling all the shoes off the display!)

With a gasp, Munkustrap made a grab for him... "Meritas! Don't touch those!" He scolded, then looked apologetically at the shopkeeper, "Sorry about that, Dawson! And no, he doesn't need new shoes. I bought him his first ones just last week, remember?"  
  
"Ah, yes!" Dawson laughed. "I does remember now! And don't you worry about the mess, young Munkustrap! I remembers you coming in for _your_ first pair, wi the lovely Jennyanydarts! You and that brother o yours near completely trashed my shop wi your squabblin!" He walked off, shaking his head and chuckling quietly to himself at the memory.  
  
He was gone for quite some time, but when he eventually returned, he was carrying a teetering tower of shoe boxes! "Right then, these three are for you," he said to Jazzie, and, with Munkustrap’s help, gave the first three to her. "Thank you, kind sir! Try them on, for me," he told her, and then proceeded to hand out the other boxes.  
  
Jazzie opened the first box, brushed aside the tissue paper and took out a pair of sleek jazz shoes. They were white in colour, to match her feet, and had little white laces and a swirly pattern scored into the soft leather. Dawson helped her to put them on. "They looks alright, don't they? Give us a twirl then, Missy!" He said.  
  
Jazzie obliged, performing a little pirouette. "They fit perfectly!" She proclaimed. It felt odd to be wearing shoes after so long, but they were lightweight and very comfortable!

Upon opening her second box, she discovered a pair of white, patent leather tap shoes. She had a lot of fun tapping them together and giggling with Norstara, while Hortenseya simply rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Of course, Meritas had to have a go too, and pretty soon, the whole shop turned into a production of Singin In The Rain…! Until Munkustrap stepped in and had to prize the shoes away from his son, then distract him with a piece of squid jerky to chew on!

Peace restored, it was the last box that really surprised Jazzie. "These shoes are for accomplished dancers… do you really think we're ready for these?" she asked, holding up a pair of white satin Pointe shoes, with stiff, slightly flattened toes and long ribbons for tying around the ankles.

She noticed that she was the only one, apart from Norstara, to have been given white shoes. Lucitana's were brown to match her cinnamon coloured fur and, of course, Munkustrap and Hortenseya's were black.  
  
"I think you are, because I have seen you dance," said Munkustrap. "See how you get on with them. If they don't suit you, I can easily swap them."  
  
When everyone was done trying on their shoes, Dawson boxed them all up and popped them into paper bags for them to carry. "Is there anything else I can get you today?" he asked. "Could I interest you in my new range of arm and leg warmers, praps?"  
  
"Well," said Munkustrap thoughtfully. "I _am_ in need of a new set of warmers… my current ones are so threadbare, they are beyond mending!"  
  
"Certainly Sir, what colours would you like?" Asked Dawson.  
  
Munkustrap already knew what colours he wanted. "Black, please!" He answered, in a tone that meant he had no intention of being persuaded otherwise!

"Are you sure I can't interest you in a different colour today?” Dawson persuaded. “Perhaps, for a change, Sir might like to try my new stripey range? I think I have some grey and black ones ere somewhere..." He began to sift through a rack, until he found what he was looking for... "Ah yes, ere we are!"

He held up a set of black and grey striped warmers, explaining enthusiastically, "These have even got silver thread in em, so you'll sparkle when you dance!"  
  
Unfortunately, his enthusiasm failed to move Munkustrap, even slightly. "They're a little showy for me,” he replied bluntly. “Black will be fine, thank you!"  
  
"How about these non sparkly black and grey ones?"  
  
"How about just black?" Munkustrap reiterated, and looked at the queens. "Ladies? Care to choose your colours?"  
  
After what seemed to him, like a lifetime of umming and arring, Lucitana went for warmers with an agate blue and cinnamon block pattern. "Or _should_ I go for _all_ blue?" she mused, still undecided.  
  
Meanwhile, Hortenseya went for blue black shimmery ones, Jazzie chose plain white, and Norstara settled on a silver sparkly set, with black polka dots (and Munkustrap looked as though he was slowly losing the will to live!)

"That'll be two hundred and fifty six guineas," Dawson said to him.  
  
Muttering a quiet, "Ouch!", the shoes and warmers were duly paid for.

They thanked Dawson and made their way outside, glad to feel fresh air upon their faces after the stuffiness of the shop! "We're not done yet," said Munkustrap. "This way, please!"  
  
They walked a little further down, until they came to another shop. This one was called Bombalurina's Fur and Claws Salon, and inside the suffocatingly pungent shop, thick with the odor of shampoo and peroxide, they were enthusiastically welcomed by a stunning, fox red Somali Queen, who nuzzled Munkustrap briefly, before shooting a suspicious glance at Jazzie and her friends. "If it's my cousin you're looking for, I'm afraid she just left," she said, her voice low and husky. "But, there's always _me_ . Need anything… _doing_ today, Munkustrap?" She licked her teeth after saying this, something that did NOT go unnoticed by Jazzie!  
  
Munkustrap loosened his collar, but otherwise kept his composure. "These newbies need to look their best for the Ball," he said to the sassy shop owner. "Try not to go over the top this time! No bouffants, ok?"

“No problem,” said Bombalurina, and, without taking her eyes off him, clicked her fingers.  
  
Jazzie, Lucitana, Norstara and Hortenseya were immediately ushered into swivel chairs and parked in front of mirrors, whereupon Bombalurina's assistants set to work on their fur and claws, using combs, scissors and phials. "And what about _you,_ Munkustrap?" She asked him with a coy smile. "Your whiskers could do with a tidy up, I see." And, to prove a point, she playfully tweaked one of them!  
  
"Well, they _didn't!_ But thanks anyway, Bombi!" Munkustrap replied, gently batting her away, "No... I really have to go and… er... feed Meritas... or my darling mate will kill me!"

He quickly handed her some money and walked to the door, with Meritas wriggling in his arms and clambering over him, trying to get free! Lifting the kitten off his shoulder and back into his arms, he said to the queens, "I'll meet you ladies at the cafe, in an hour. In the meantime, I'd better get out of here sharpish, before this varmint gets at the shampoo!"

* * *

  
An hour and a half later, the group of queens trotted across the street towards Exotica's Cafe, finding seats at the table. Meritas was busy demolishing the biggest savoury ice cream sundae that Jazzie had ever seen, while Munkustrap was speaking quietly to a cloaked figure, a stranger she hadn't seen before... "I'd keep your wits about you, if I were you!" he was whispering. "An attack is planned… seems this time, he means business…! He mentioned something about finally getting even with ‘that annoying Protector Idiot’, so I'm guessing that means you. Sorry I don't have any more information..."  
  
Munkustrap rolled his eyes and replied grimly, "Tell me something that doesn't surprise me. But thank you, you'd better get back."  
  
The hooded figure bowed and disappeared into the shadows.

A look of unease crossed Munkustrap's face... but when he turned to the queens, the troubled look was instantly replaced by one of admiration. "Wow!" He complimented. "You lot have scrubbed up well, haven't you?”  
  
The queens grinned, flashing their neatly brushed tails, and claws that had been polished to an almost mirror shine! They were all wearing new diamante collars too, and looked so pleased with the results, that Munkustrap felt it was safe to assume that he was well and truly back in their favour! _"So I should think!"_ he thought to himself. _"Pissing off queens is an expensive business!"_  
  
"Right! Who's for ice cream?" he asked. "May I recommend the bacon flavour? However, smoked mackerel and horseradish is also good. That's the one Meritas is scoffing.” He whispered furtively behind his paw, “Don't tell Demeter!” Then turned to the kitten and chuckled, “Hey! Rascal! I thought we were meant to be sharing that!"  
  
Once the ice creams had arrived, Norstara turned to Munkustrap and asked, "So, what happens at this Ball, anyway?"  
  
"It is basically a night that happens once a year, in which we celebrate the rising of the Jellicle Moon; which is a particularly large and special Spring moon, symbolizing rebirth and new life,” Munkustrap explained. “Once it has risen, we introduce the newbies, sing, dance and generally have a good time. Then, just before dawn, our Leader makes what is known as The Jellicle Choice."  
  
"The Jellicle Choice? What's that?" asked Hortenseya with fascination.  
  
"That is where my father announces the cat who will ascend to the Heaviside layer, to be reborn into a different Jellicle life."  
  
"So… what's this Heaviside Layer whatchamacallit when it's at home?" asked Lucitana, her brow furrowing with intrigue.  
  
"Well," Munkustrap said thoughtfully. "I've never actually seen it for myself, but I've been told stories, ever since I was a kitten, about a place of wonder, that only one Jellicle will see. The Ball is really about convincing our Great Leader to choose one of us, and it is my job to look after my father, for he is very old and a little unsteady on his feet. I also narrate and direct, as well as act as a kind of bouncer for the whole thing... we wouldn't want any miscreants gatecrashing our precious ball now, would we? But, it means I shall be rather busy."  
  
"But you'll get the chance to do some dancing, surely?" asked Jazzie, sounding concerned.  
  
Munkustrap rolled his eyes. "I hope so! My brother is supposed to help, but, as you all may have gathered, he's about as reliable as an old banger in cold weather!"

“So, if we're invited, does that mean we're Jellicles too?” Hortenseya enquired.

"It is a night where new cats and kittens can officially become Jellicles,” he said. “Once that happens, you may then choose a mate. Or, if you already have one, it is your chance to choose another one. If that's what you want to do, of course…!" His eyes met Jazzie's, briefly, while the others took to raising eyebrows and exchanging subtle smirks!

Pretending not to notice, Munkustrap carried on, "I am giving my daughters away this year, too."  
  
"Which ones, and to whom?" asked Hortenseya, trying her best to keep a straight face.  
  
"The twins: Etcetera and Electra. In a special ceremony known as The Mating Dance, they shall be given to Pouncival and Carbucketty, respectively... I think they make good matches. Last year, I gave away Victoria, and I am thrilled she and Plato are expecting their first kitten!"  
  
"Wait! Does that mean you're going to be a Grandfather?" giggled Lucitana.  
  
"That it does!" He admitted in a slightly mournful tone.

* * *

 

After they'd eaten so much ice cream that they couldn't even look at another spoonful, Munkustrap glanced up towards the western horizon... "Oh gosh! It can't be that time, already? We'd better get back, or we'll be late for final rehearsals! I'm supposed to be choreographing a dance for the new adolescents... Rats!"

Amidst the scraping of chairs, he quietly picked up his son, and gasped! An ice cream plastered face grinned back at him!

Shortly after, a little tongue came out to try to lick it off!

Munkustrap then looked at his paws. “Drat!” They too, were covered in sticky goo! "I shall have to meet you there, ladies!” He said.

"Ok, but don't be long!" Jazzie giggled.

They left him to it, laughing into their paws at the sounds of the kitten's angry protests!

"NOOO! DON'T WANT A WASH! I NOT DIIIIRTYYY... GERROFF ME DAAADDYYYY...!"

* * *

 

They made it back to the Tyre Clearing in the knick of time.

A while later, Munkustrap raced up behind them, out of breath, and with a slightly bedraggled kitten perched on his shoulders. The poor thing was looking quite miserable, as though it had been cleaned to within an inch of its life! However, he soon perked up when his father dropped him off with his Grandmother. “He might still have some ice cream behind his ears,” Munkustrap explained apologetically, after greeting her with a faire la bise. “I tried to get as much off as I could, but he kept wriggling!”

“Ah, don't worry, I'll soon sort him out!” Jellylorum said with a smile.

“Will _you_ be alright?” he asked, giving her a look of concern.

“Of course!” She exclaimed. “What makes you think I won't be?”

“Well… you know…” He gestured towards her gravid midsection. “He can be a little hard to handle…”

She waved him away. “Oh, don't worry yourself, Munk! I've had seven already, don't forget! Raised four to adulthood...”

There was a sudden pause, as she realised what she'd said!

“I never forget,” he said quietly.

She squeezed his paw, and forced a melancholic smile. “Of course you don't! None of us do!” She said gently, and looked over at the clearing. “Go on! Your students are waiting!”

The calico and white Angora then turned her attention to the kitten in her arms. “Come along, Mertie!” She cooed. “Let's have some fun with Granny...!”

Meanwhile, Jazzie and co went to join a group of young adults, who were being directed by a small Angora- type tom.

He was jet black, from his head, to the very tip of his plumed tail. And as he turned to greet them, Jazzie could immediately see that what he lacked in stature, he _more_ than made up for in presence! Piercing, yellow jasper eyes gazed back at her, and the air seemed to crackle around him, as though charged with electricity! In fact, when she shook his paw, she even felt her fur standing on end! "You must be The Magical Mister Mistoffelees! I have heard so much about you!" she breathed. "I’m afraid I kept missing you whenever you visited the infirmary, so it is an honour to meet you at last!"  
  
Mistoffelees bowed and said shyly, "It is a pleasure to meet you too, Mademoiselle."

Suddenly, he spotted Munkustrap walking up. “Aha! Father!” He exclaimed. “You know, you're three minutes late, right? Your students have started to get bored! In fact, I just had to tell Kaleidahan to stop bouncing on the tyres and encouraging the others!”  
  
Munkustrap raised an eyebrow at his son's slightly elevated attitude. "The new position clearly hasn't gone to your head at all, has it?" He said sarcastically.

Misto folded his arms and grinned. "You're just pissed because, as Head Of Dance, I get to order _you_ around for a change!"

Munkustrap gave a dry laugh. "Yeah, we'll see how that pans out for you, shall we?"  
  
He addressed the queens and pointed to a group of novices. "Jazzie and co, would you care to stand over there, seeing as you're new to this?"  
  
Quickly donning their new shoes, Jazzie, Norstara, Hortenseya and Lucitana joined the young dancers and took up their places. "Now," Munkustrap told them. "Just copy my movements, and follow my instructions. And be sure to keep up! Are we ready? Okay. Positions please…! And five, six, seven, eight...!"

* * *

  
All in all, Munkustrap was rather pleased with the new dancers this year.

As they practiced the new routine, he walked amongst them: giving praise where it was due and making adjustments where good form was lacking... “Nice high kick, Norstara!” he commended, before bending down to adjust someone's foot, muttering, “Foot needs to be turned out…! More…! That's it… other foot needs to be pointed…! More pointed… _really_ point it…! Yes, I _know_ it's hard... keep trying…!” He moved on. “Keep to the routine, Kaleidahan! I know you think you're clever doing a triple turn, but this routine only calls for a double! And now you're out of sync with the rest! There'll be a chance for you to show off later!”

Catching the eyes of Jazzie, he gave her a small wink, but was careful not to engage with her too much, for fear it could be misconstrued as favouritism. He couldn't help but secretly admire her though… the way she moved, as graceful as a butterfly in a light breeze…

Being accomplished dancers, Jazzie and her friends astounded him by learning the routine in record time, and before long, were taking their places near the front of the adult group, along with the other young cats who had progressed.

Any cat who didn't make it up to parr had to sit out and be content to attend the Ball the following year; but luckily, this year it only amounted to three of them. (Some years, none made it through at all, but that was a rare occurrence!)

With Munkustrap at the back, keeping a keen eye out for any laggers, and Mistoffelees instructing them from the front, the group of cats danced and sang late into the night, until all of the loose ends had been tied up and it was time for everyone to go home. "Dad! Just before you go!" called Mistoffelees, running over. "There's that dance I needed to go over with you!"  
  
Munkustrap frowned. "What dance?"  
  
"You know, the Dance-off?" Mistoffelees reminded him. "Don't tell me you'd forgotten?!"  
  
"I was rather hoping that Tugger had," the Bengcoon replied, his frown deepening.  
  
Misto shook his head. "Not on this occasion. It would appear he’s been bragging to any cat who will listen about how he is going to beat you... and we can't have that! I made a bet with my sister that you’d win!"  
  
“What?!” Munkustrap spluttered, "You mean to tell me you've used my potential misfortune for your own gambling ends?!"  
  
"Er... the whole tribe is in on it..." Mistoffelees replied sheepishly.  
  
"You've got to be kidding??!"  
  
"Oh! Come on!" Mistoffelees argued. "It's a great idea! Who knows? If it's popular, we may include it in subsequent Jellicle Balls."  
  
"I don't want to do it!" Said his father crossly. "I don't know why I even agreed to it, to be quite frank with you. It completely goes against my moral principles!"  
  
"And we all know how much you hate making a spectacle of yourself, blah blah…!" Mistoffelees continued in a bored voice, rolling his eyes. "But _try_ to remember _who_ you're doing this for!"

“Plus, there's ten guineas at stake!” He added under his breath.  
  
At that, Munkustrap flashed a glance at Jazzie, who was busy laughing and chatting with her new found friends.

She was proving to be rather popular, especially with the young toms, who seemed particularly enamored by her soft voice and French accent!

He frowned, but said nothing, not wanting to admit (least of all himself) that dancing was not his strongest forte.

The simple reason was that fighting was very different to dancing! Dancing required energised movements, but these were holed up inside softness and grace, giving the illusion of ease where strength was being deployed. Fighting, on the other hand required speed, precision _and_ strength… but there was nothing soft about it, whatsoever! Oh! If _only_ it were a fighting competition! But it wasn't. And he knew that he was going to have to dig deep in order to pull this off, if he was not to let this queen slip through his fingers.  
  
"Ask yourself why she matters so much," said Mistoffelees, his quiet voice filtering through the Bengcoon’s ponderings.

He caught himself. _Why did she matter so much?_

He tried to think of an answer, but all he could really think of were tiny paws running through his fur, a leg wrapped around his waist, coupled with the taste of her lips and the undulating curve of her hips...  
  
_"Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining_ _  
_ _Her fur, her fur lies perfectly without her trying_ _  
_ _She's so beautiful and I'd tell her everyday_ _  
_ _Yeah, I know, I know when I compliment her she won't believe me_ _  
_ _And it's so, it's so sad to think that she don't see what I see_ _  
_ _But if she ever asked me "Do I look okay?"_ _  
_ _I'd say_ _  
_ _When I see your face_ _  
_ _There's not a thing that I would change 'cause you're amazing_ _  
_ _Just the way you are_ _  
_ _And when you smile_ _  
_ _The whole world stops and stares for a while_ _  
_ _'Cause girl you're amazing_ _  
_ _Just the way you are_ _  
_ _Yeah_ _  
_ _Her lips, her lips, I would kiss them all day if she'd let me_ _  
_ _Her laugh, her laugh she hates but I think it's so sexy_ _  
_ _She's so beautiful, and I'd tell her everyday_ _  
_ _Oh you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change_ _  
_ _If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same_ _  
_ _So don't even bother asking if you look okay, you know I'll say_ _  
_ _When I see your face_ _  
_ _There's not a thing that I would change_ _  
_ _'Cause you're amazing_ _  
_ _Just the way you are_ _  
_ _And when you smile_ _  
_ _The whole world stops and stares for a while_ _  
_ _'Cause, girl, you're amazing_ _  
_ _Just the way you are_ _  
_ _The way you are_ _  
_ _The way you are_ _  
_ _Girl, you're amazing_ _  
_ _Just the way you are_ _  
_ _When I see your face_ _  
_ _There's not a thing that I would change_ _  
_ _'Cause you're amazing_ _  
_ _Just the way you are_ _  
_ _And when you smile_ _  
_ _The whole world stops and stares for a while_ _  
_ _'Cause, girl, you're amazing_ _  
_ _Just the way you are_ _  
_ _Yeah."_  
  
(The Way You Are by Bruno Mars)  
  
"That's why," he said.  
  
Mistoffelees warned, "If you fail at this, or refuse to do it, then your integrity will be at stake.” He brightened. “Which is why I have decided to be your official coach. Sis wanted to be Tugger's. Are you surprised?” He rolled his eyes again. “Trust Victoria! We had to toss for it!"  
  
Munkustrap looked affronted. "Oh, charming!!!"

He looked like he wanted to argue some more, but Mistoffelees cut him off, clapping his paws together! "No more arguments! Stand over here and we'll get started.” He smiled, adding, “I have the most _amazing_ idea for a routine! You're going to _love_ it!"  
  
His father grumbled (just because he could!) "Alright! I suppose I did agree to this! You'd better not make it too hard, though! I'm not a young buck anymore, you know! And nothing girly! I know what you're like-!"  
  
"MUNKUSTRAP!"  
  
Everyone in the vicinity suddenly looked round to see who had shouted so fiercely! _Surely_ it was _not_ the black and gold Tortie who was striding over to Munkustrap, brandishing a brown paper bag and looking pretty vexed to say the least?! Munkustrap groaned. What had he done _now...?_ "Demeter? Can't it wait? I'm a little busy-"  
  
"WHY hasn't Meritas eaten his fish paste sandwiches?!" She demanded.  
  
Munkustrap fidgeted, suddenly remembering. Having not had the extra limb with which to carry them, he had ‘accidentally’ left the smelly items on the tyre, in the hope that some other cat would pick them up…

It was his rotten luck that _that_ someone _just_ so happened to be his mate…! "Ah! Well… you see… the thing is… I _might_ have forgotten them… I _did_ buy him something else, though..." At her thorny glare, he tripped over his words!  
  
Demeter flashed her eyes at the new queens, who were watching apprehensively from a safe distance of about twenty feet! "Oh, I see! Out spoiling _them,_ were you?!" She said in a cutting voice. "What _exactly_ did our son have?"  
  
"An ice cream sundae," he told her truthfully. "You could've come too-"  
  
"A WHAT!? Oh! Because that is _just_ the sort of healthy, balanced food a growing kitten _ought_ to be eating!" She fumed.  
  
At being yelled at, Munkustrap suddenly remembered he was an alpha male who was twice her size, NOT a Munchkin about to be swallowed by a Great Dane! "You _asked_ me to look after him! So I did! _Despite_ the fact I had other commitments!" he snapped. "So, if you don't agree with my style of parenting, maybe _you_ should have looked after him yourself, instead of galavanting off with Frigg knows who!"  
  
Demeter's mouth fell open. "Oh, right? So, _you're_ allowed to see whoever _you_ like, and I'm not, is that it?"  
  
Munkustrap sighed and walked away. The last thing he wanted to do was get into a fight over some sandwiches, and then have it escalate…! "I am not doing this now!" he growled over his shoulder. "If you care about the sandwiches so much, why don't _you_ eat them? Now, if you don't mind, I have a Dance-off to practice for...!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *1 I have loved you from the beginning, that is all.  
> *2 Do you forgive me?  
> *3 With such a confession, how could I not? Never knew you spoke my language.


	7. The Dance Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If ALW was to make a Cats 2, here's what it might look like!  
> Don't worry, I didn't 're-tell' the Jellicle Ball, because we all know how that goes! That actually happened, in my story, the year before this one. Plus, I figured The Ball must be different every year. Well, it would be pretty boring if it was the same! It would be like going to the exact same party every year.  
> Also, I may have added a few too many songs. I fell into the trap of not being able to decide which song to use, so decided to go with ALL OF THEM!  
> Have made some changes to this chapter. For me, they represent an entire weeks worth of head scratching, so hope you likey!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. Hope you like the little song I wrote about Munkustrap! Do you think ALW would approve?

_"You hold the candle I once lit_ _  
_ _You shine your light_ _  
_ _When you forgive I cry_ _  
_ _You run your fingers through my hair_ _  
_ _And tell me it's worthwhile, it's all worthwhile_ _  
_ _  
_ _Even when I hate myself_ _  
_ _Even when I feel your pain_ _  
_ _When you cry_ _  
_ _Even when my heart is cold_ _  
_ _You assure me it's worthwhile, it's all worthwhile_ _  
_ _  
_ _You see, see what can't be seen_ _  
_ _You repair the damage done to me."_  
  
(Unicorn by Apoptygma Berzerk)

This was The Night! The whole day had been spent preparing for the Cat equivalent of Christmas, New year's Eve, a wedding and a funeral, all rolled into one!

Baths were had. Fur and whiskers were combed to perfection, claws were polished. But, the most important thing of all was for the cats to do as little as felinely possible, reserving their terpsichorean powers and ensuring they had enough of them to be able to dance the night away!  
  
The Jellicle Moon was peeping its head over the horizon and the Yard was a hive of activity. Those who had arrived began the usual routine of warm ups and stretches, prior to meetings and greetings, and as twilight wore into evening, and the moon finally cleared the London skyline, it was time for the Ball to begin.

And what a Ball it was! The Tyre clearing had been decked out with coloured lights, music played and Jellicles danced.

Jazzie, Norstara, Hortenseya and Lucitana were looking radiant, dressed in their new finery, so it was hardly surprising when, as soon as he saw them, Munkustrap's face broke into a broad smile. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You all look amazing!"  
  
Jazzie returned the smile with a bashful dip of the head. "So do you!" she replied, ignoring the titters coming from her three colleagues.

She offered him her paw, which he duly took with a small bow, then offered her his arm. "Well, I couldn't possibly pass up the chance to have the first dance with this beautiful lady now, could I?" He asked.  
  
Jazzie looked surprised... "You- you want to take the first dance, with me? But, isn't that reserved for-?" Before she could finish her sentence, she was rudely shoved out of the way! An angry looking tortie stood resolutely in her place!  
  
Turning to the Snowshoe, she bared her teeth, and said in a voice that dripped like honey, "Jazzie! I need to speak with my mate! Therefore, kindly fuck off!!!" She then turned to her mate and pointed to the large drainage pipe in the corner of the clearing. "We need to talk! NOW!!!"  
  
"What needs to be said can be said RIGHT here!" Munkustrap replied, and held out a paw when he noticed Jazzie meekly tiptoeing away. “Stay!” He said to her, not taking his eyes off Demeter.  
  
The Tortie's eyes widened! "You know the first dance is reserved for the official mate?!”  
  
Munkustrap nodded, “That I do.”  
  
“So, why are you asking HER and not me?!!!”  
  
"You should be looking after Meritas."  
  
"He's with the orphans, being looked after by a group of Fails!"  
  
"Is that wise-?" Munkustrap asked with a look of concern (mainly for the poor adolescents!)  
  
"Answer the question!" Demeter snapped. "I'm your official mate, NOT her!!!"  
  
Munkustrap raised an eyebrow. ""Is that so? Well, maybe I have just chosen another."  
  
Demeter's mouth fell open. "What?! You-You can't-!"  
  
"Can't I?"  
  
Her voice shook with rage. "You can only choose a new mate if you have the blessing of both the elders AND Old Deuteronomy!"  
  
"Then, I shall ask for it!" Came the reply.  
  
"You'll never get it for that whore! You'll be shunned!"  
  
Munkustrap shrugged. "Oh? And what a catastrophe that would be, my dear! To finally get some peace... for once!!!"  
  
He left it at that, walked over to Jazzie and offered her his arm again. "May I?"  
  
"Um… alright." Jazzie shyly slipped her paw into the crook of his arm and allowed him to guide her to the dance floor, trying to ignore Demeter, who was giving her the death stare!  
  
"Don't mind her!" He whispered in her ear.  
  
"She looks upset!" Jazzie said guiltily.  
  
"She'll get over it," he replied as he rested his paw against her waist, making her jump! He immediately took it away, looking mortified... "Oh! Sorry! Am I too close?"  
  
Composing herself, Jazzie answered with a little smile, "No. Not at all!" She put his paw back where it was and placed hers onto his shoulder. "So? What have you been up to today?" She asked as they began to dance. “Apart from arguing with your mate, that is!”  
  
"Oh... not much." He smiled. "Does thinking about a certain queen count as doing something?"  
  
"And which queen would that be?" She enquired, with a coy smile.  
  
"Who do you think?" He whispered, lightly brushing his lips against her ear, making her shiver a little. Then he grabbed her hips, lifted her up and spun her around!

"I think this might be my favourite dance of all!" She sighed.

It came to an end all too soon, with her draped over his arm, staring into his aqua eyes. She felt her heart begin to beat faster, and knew it had nothing to do with the dancing! It brought her mind back to his big paws sliding down her back, the feel of his whiskery lips. Him desperately wanting her, but being held back, she _now_ realised, by his moral duty to protect her. And how his kisses filled with guilt had only served to make her want him more.

* * *

 

Demeter watched them dance together, a sick feeling in her stomach. She glared hatefully at Jazzie. Who did that bitch think she was, coming in here like a weed, poisoning her mate's mind against her?! She'd only known him a few weeks and she'd already got him smitten!

Well, that wouldn't last!

A smile crept across Demeter's lips. The snow angel had to go!

* * *

 

"Alright me old squeezer? You gonna introduce us to your new tutti, or what?"  
  
Munkustrap scowled at the two Angoras who had rudely interrupted his 'moment', and was about to strongly advise them of where he thought they ought to go, when the ever polite Jazzie enthused, "Of course! Just a minute!"  
  
Regretfully, she disentangled herself from the ludicrous power houses he called arms, straightened herself up and held out her paw. "It is wonderful to meet you,” she said delightedly. “My name is Jazzie! And who might you be?"

With their white torbie coats, and ginger and black mackerel stripes, she thought they resembled a couple of tigers!

"Mungojerry ere, at your service!" said the tom with a bow, speaking with a thick East London accent. "And this ere's me sock… Rumpleteazer."  
  
"Sister..." Munkustrap muttered in her ear.

Rumpleteazer giggled and added, "We're a notorious couple a cats, aren't we, Jerry?!"

"Cat burglars…" Munkustrap muttered again.  
  
“Au contrairy, me partner in furnace!” replied Mungojerry. “ _We've_ brought along someone who's more notorious than the Old Bill!"  
  
"Who?" Asked Jazzie.  
  
Mungojerry folded this arms and grinned. "Allow me to introduce, The Pot himself! Cam on Dad! Dahn't be shy!"  
  
A third ginger torbie appeared, looking almost exactly like the twins in appearance, aside from the the fact that he was considerably more ancient! "Lor' luv a duck!" He exclaimed, grinning toothlessly at them all. "Awright geeezzaa! Scrumpletailer's the name... sorted mate!” He gave Munkustrap a high five, which was very reluctantly returned, and whispered... “Ere! Little bird tells me they've been up ta no good!”

He looked at Mungo. “Say, ere… Son? When you gonna get yerself proper job like your old man, eh? Cam on! You tell em what I does!"  
  
The twins duly obliged and performed the most hilarious tribute to their father, incorporating an energetic dance routine, as well as some pretty breathtaking acrobatics alongside their raucous singing!  
  
# _"Now here's a little story_ _  
_ _To tell it is a must_ _  
_ _About an unsung hero_ _  
_ _That moves away your dust_ _  
_ _Some people make a fortune_ _  
_ _Other's earn a mint_ _  
_ _My old man don't earn much_ _  
_ _In fact...he's flippin'...skint!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh, my old man's a dustman_ _  
_ _He wears a dustman's hat_ _  
_ _He wears cor blimey trousers_ _  
_ _And he lives in a council flat_ _  
_ _He looks a proper narner_ _  
_ _In his great big hobnailed boots_ _  
_ _He's got such a job to pull em up_ _  
_ _That he calls them daisy roots!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Some folks give tips at Christmas_ _  
_ _And some of them forget_ _  
_ _So when he picks their bins up_ _  
_ _He spills some on the steps_ _  
_ _Now one old tom got nasty_ _  
_ _And to the council wrote_ _  
_ _Next time my old man went 'round there_ _  
_ _He punched him up the throat!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh, my old man's a dustman_ _  
_ _He wears a dustman's hat_ _  
_ _He wears cor blimey trousers_ _  
_ _And he lives in a council flat_ _  
_ _  
_ _I say, I say Teazer!_ _  
_ _I 'er...I found a police dog in my dustbin_ _  
_ _(How do you know he's a police dog?)_ _  
_ _He had a policeman with him!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Though my old man's a dustman_ _  
_ _He's got a heart of gold_ _  
_ _He got married recently_ _  
_ _Though he's 26 years old_ _  
_ _We said "'Ear! Hang on Dad_ _  
_ _you're getting past your prime."_ _  
_ _He said "Well when you get to my age,_ _  
_ _It helps to pass the time!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh, my old man's a dustman_ _  
_ _He wears a dustman's hat_ _  
_ _He wears cor blimey trousers_ _  
_ _And he lives in a council flat_ _  
_ _  
_ _I say, I say, I say_ _  
_ _My dustbins full of lillies_ _  
_ _(Well throw 'em away then!)_ _  
_ _I can't Lilly's wearing them!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Now one day while in a hurry_ _  
_ _He missed a lady's bin_ _  
_ _He hadn't gone but a few yards_ _  
_ _When she chased after him_ _  
_ _"What game do you think you're playing?"_ _  
_ _She cried right from the heart_ _  
_ _"You've missed me...am I too late?"_ _  
_ _"No... jump up on the cart!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh, my old man's a dustman_ _  
_ _He wears a dustman's hat_ _  
_ _He wears cor blimey trousers_ _  
_ _And he lives in a council flat_ _  
_ _  
_ _I say, I say, I say (What you again?)_ _  
_ _My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools!_ _  
_ _(How do you know it's full?)_ _  
_ _'Cos there's not mushroom inside!_ _  
_ _  
_ _He found a tiger's head one day_ _  
_ _Nailed to a piece of wood_ _  
_ _The tiger looked quite miserable_ _  
_ _But I suppose it should_ _  
_ _Just then from out a window_ _  
_ _A voice began to wail_ _  
_ _He said ("Oi! Where's me tiger head?")_ _  
_ _Four foot from its tail!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh, my old man's a dustman_ _  
_ _He wears a dustman's hat_ _  
_ _He wears cor blimey trousers_ _  
_ _And he lives in a council flat_ _  
_ _Next time you see a dustman_ _  
_ _Looking all pale and sad_ _  
_ _Don't kick him in the dustbin_ _  
_ _It might be my old daaaaad!"#_  
  
(My Old Man's A Dustman by Lonnie Donegan)  
  
"Oi! Psst! Jazz!" whispered Mungojerry, after he had finished singing. "He… er... he ain't _actually_ a dustman!"  
  
"Isn't he?" Asked Jazzie, looking confused.  
  
"Nah! He's a bleedin cat, innee? He just likes to take rides on the cart with his Old Geezer… who _is._ See?  
  
"Ah! I _think_ I see!" Jazzie giggled.

“Ee used to be a bankrobber, but that's another story…”

Jazzie stared at him. “What-?!”  
  
Before she had time to process what she'd just heard, Munkustrap was calling to her. "Why don't you go and introduce yourselves to my daughters?" he suggested. "I’m sure they're all dying to meet you!"  
  
Forgetting all about Mungojerry and his father's past misdeeds, Jazzie went to sit with a group of females, who were maybe about a year younger than her. Among them was a pure white angora, with cobalt eyes and a dainty pink nose. "Why, how _lovely_ you are!" Jazzie exclaimed, taking her paw in hers. "You must be Victoria? I hear you're expecting? Congratulations!"  
  
Victoria smiled in reply and placed a paw on her belly.

"She can't hear you!" another cat said to her. She too was a white angora type, but with black, grey and ginger torbie markings. She introduced herself as Etcetera and explained, "She's deaf as a post! Aren't you, Vic?"  
  
"But she doesn't let _that_ hold her back!" a brown mackerel tabby chimed in.

“Never said she does, Electra!” Etcetera agreed.

"She is the finest dancer of all, and she dances to her own song," added Jemima, a brownish black and white mixed breed, who was also the smallest of the group.

Etcetera smiled and turned to Jazzie. "Say, would you and your friends like to join us?” she asked. “A natter is all well and good, but nothing beats a proper introduction. Jellicle Cat style!"  
  
Jazzie smiled back. "Of course we will!"  
  
"All right!" Etcetera exclaimed loudly. "Come along then, ladies! Take your places! Vicky!? Yes... _you_ too! Oh, come on! You're not _that_ pregnant...!  
  
# _Angels watching over me,_ _  
_ _With smiles upon their face,_ _  
_ _Cause' I have made it through this far,_ _  
_ _In an unforgiving place._ _  
_ _It feels sometimes this hills to steep_ _  
_ _For a girl like me to climb,_ _  
_ _But I must knock those thoughts right down,_ _  
_ _I'll do it in my own time._ _  
_ _I don't care,_ _  
_ _I'm halfway there,_ _  
_ _On a road that leads me straight to who knows where?_ _  
_ _I'll tell you what,_ _  
_ _What I have found,_ _  
_ _That I'm no fool,_ _  
_ _I'm just upside down._ _  
_ _Ain't got no cares,_ _  
_ _I ain't got no rules,_ _  
_ _I think I like living upside down._ _  
_ _Watching people scurry by,_ _  
_ _Rushing to and fro,_ _  
_ _Oh this world is such a crazy place,_ _  
_ _It's all about the go go go._ _  
_ _Sometimes life can taste so sweet,_ _  
_ _When you slow it down,_ _  
_ _You start to see the world a little differently, When you turn it upside down._ _  
_ _I don't care,_ _  
_ _I'm halfway there,_ _  
_ _And I'm just soaking up the magic in the air._ _  
_ _I'll tell you what,_ _  
_ _What I have found,_ _  
_ _That I'm no fool,_ _  
_ _I'm just upside down._ _  
_ _Ain't got no cares,_ _  
_ _I ain't got no rules,_ _  
_ _I think I like living upside down._ _  
_ _I'll tell you what,_ _  
_ _What I have found,_ _  
_ _That I'm no fool,_ _  
_ _I'm just upside down._ _  
_ _Ain't got no cares,_ _  
_ _I ain't got no rules,_ _  
_ _I think I like living upside down._ _  
_ _Woa, Woa, Woa_ _  
_ _You got to slow it down,_ _  
_ _And then you pick it up,_ _  
_ _Come on and try a little topsy turvy back to front the right way round._ _  
_ _Take it slow, slow, slow (you gotta pick it up),_ _  
_ _Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (let me see you slow it down),_ _  
_ _Hey, yo, yo (tell me something something). I'll tell you what,_ _  
_ _What I have found,_ _  
_ _That I'm no fool,_ _  
_ _I'm just upside down._ _  
_ _Ain't got no cares,_ _  
_ _I ain't got no rules,_ _  
_ _I think I like living upside down._ _  
_ _I'll tell you what,_ _  
_ _What I have found,_ _  
_ _That I'm no fool,_ _  
_ _I'm just upside down._ _  
_ _Ain't got no cares,_ _  
_ _I ain't got no rules,_ _  
_ _I think I like living upside down!"_  
  
(Upside Down by Paloma Faith)  
  
And Etcetera was right. Even though she was pregnant, Victoria really _was_ a fine dancer, with more grace than a mute swan! "If only I could dance half as well!" Jazzie sighed.  
  
By the end of the song, everyone was up and dancing, smiles all round! Such a fabulous ball that had ever been had!

* * *

 

A little later, other cats were introduced to Jazzie, including one marmalade Maine Coon.

He was wearing a brown Fairisle knit waistcoat over the top of a crisp, white linen shirt front, and in the pocket of this, was a gold watch, hanging on a chain. He also wore a pair of grey cable knit arm warmers with black leather elbow pads, and, around his neck, was a small, gold bell, which tinkled whenever he shook his jowly head. It clearly marked him as a cat of great importance!

“Skimbleshanks. Railway Cat, at yeh service,” he said, doffing his cap. “Pleasure to make yeh acquaintance!”

He gave each of the queens a firm paw shake, while fixing each of them with a piercing gaze of his glass green eyes. He then told them of how he had travelled down from Scotland especially to mark the occasion... “Just got off tha train from Euston,” he explained.

“How was your journey, cousin?” Munkustrap asked him. “I take it, it was a pleasant one?” (Jazzie noted how similar their mannerisms were. It was uncanny!)

“Aye,” Skimbleshanks replied. “Et were on tyeem fer once! Ah don't noo how British Rail would cope wi’out me making sure all is ship shape, ah tell yeh!”

Munkustrap said laughingly, “It would’ve been taken over by a private company by now, I don't doubt!”

“God forbid!” Skimbleshanks answered grimly, shaking his head and causing his bell to tinkle again!

“Hey! Skim! My man!” yelled an all too familiar voice. “How's the love life? Wasn't she called Pearl, or something?”

Skimbal looked up and saw Tugger, along with his black eye, striding towards him, about to give him a high five. "Awa' n' bile yer heed you fuckin' roaster!" He growled, completely ignoring the offered paw.

"Skimbal! That's not nice!" Munkustrap said reprovingly.

Skimbal wholeheartedly agreed, "Ah noo ets noht! 'Avin tay see _THAT_ everytyme ah com ere!!!"

* * *

All of a sudden, Mistoffelees ran up. “Father?!” he said, clapping his paws in excitement, “Father?!!!”

Munkustrap turned and frowned. “Misto, I'm not deaf! Can't you see I'm having an important-?”

“Great uncle Bustopher is here!!!” cried the young tom.

“Oh...?”

“Whaaat!? That over-inflated, toffee-nosed, turd sniffing beach ball on steroids?!” scoffed Tugger. “Screw that! I’m gonna go stick some foie gras up my nose! Ciao suckers!” And off he flounced!

Meanwhile, Mistoffelees raced over to greet the newcomer, who was checking his handlebar moustache in the reflection of a gigantic serving spoon he was carrying, but was beaten to it by Jennyanydots.

How a she-cat, who was two and a half months pregnant, could move so fast was anybody's guess, but there she was, graciously welcoming the rotund gentleman, who was almost as wide as he was tall, and wearing a fastidious black coat and white spats. “Good evening, Mr Jones!” she simpered. “I do hope we find you well?”

“All the better for seeing you looking so radiant, my little cauliflower!” the black and white tuxedo replied, handing her the rose that was pinned to his coat- causing her to faint and almost flatten Skimbleshanks!

“Wadya thenk ya doin yeh bawbag- eyed, huffy- heeded walloper?!” The Railway Cat yelled. “Quit filchin ma wee lass an oan yeh trolley, fer I delete tha hamster on yer face!”

“Errr… Skimbal!” called Munkustrap, quickly hurrying over, to try to abort the unfolding situation… “I'll handle His Roundnasty! You go and fetch Jenny a glass of water, hmm?!”

Luckily, the portly tom appeared not to have understood a word of what Skimbal had said! He gave the Jellicles a cheery wave, and was about to toddle on his way, when he almost crashed into Munkustrap! “Well, I say!” He exclaimed. “What is the meaning of all this, what what?!”

“Good evening, Uncle!” said Munkustrap, fixing a smile and giving him a salute.

Bustopher squinted at him through his monocle, then his face brightened in recognition. “Ah!” he exclaimed. “If it isn't young Munkuslop!”

The Bengcoon gave his maternal uncle a puzzled look. “Munkustrap,” he corrected him.

“Ah yes. Well. Good to see you, Munkujelly!” Bustopher carried on, and returned the salute.

“It's MUNKUSTRAP!” his nephew muttered through gritted teeth.

“Well then, I suppose you'd better run along then, Master Periwinkle…?”

Munkustrap sighed as the decadent aristocat waved him out of the way, but then quickly stepped in front of him again!

“I say! This is most irregular, young Munkupickle!” Bustopher hollered.

“Oh? But won't you stay a little longer?” Munkustrap replied, injecting as much flattery into his tone as would cause a royal corgi’s head to explode. “I'm sure the new ones are dying to hear about your latest culinary adventures?” (“Plus, dad said I had to be nice to you!” he thought, resentfully.)

Bustopher gave it some thought. “Well, I suppose I could...” he said, twiddling his moustache. “Provided you can provide me with some some sort of comfortable furnishment… off you pop!”

“I do hope it's not that dusty old hat!” He muttered under his breath.

Right away, Munkustrap ordered the top hat be brought over. Bustopher looked down his nose at it. “It's dustier than last year!” He complained.

Munkustrap’s lips tightened. He stared at his son.

Mistoffelees looked perplexed. “What?” he mouthed.

Munkustrap stared harder and indicated the hat.

“Oh!” Mistoffelees mouthed again, this time in realisation. He nodded and flexed his paws. Then he uttered some magic words and ‘Poof!’ The hat turned into a comfy armchair!

The Jellicles applauded, and Bustopher was so impressed that he sat for a good hour and told his attentive audience about some of the exclusive places at which he had dined in the past year. Permeating his vauntings, was the unmistakable sound of multiple tummies rumbling! “Last Tuesday, I supped on the most magnificent chateaubriand steak- with fries, of course- at a charming little place called Rowley’s! Today, I feasted upon salmon sandwiches and afternoon tea at The Leicester Square, and I followed that up with a splendid fish supper at Scott's...!”

“And, with any luck, he'll have eaten himself to death by next year!” thought Munkustrap, fiercely stifling a yawn. “Must look interested! Keep nodding. Nodding… and maybe a bit of eyebrows…”

Meanwhile, Mistoffelees (who really was yawning!) looked at his imaginary watch. “You know, I might, just quickly nip off…” he said quietly, “I am feeling rather peckish…”

“You'll do no such thing!” Munkustrap growled through clenched teeth, while still managing to keep a polite smile on his face. “It’s time for Bustopher to be on his way…!”

But the cat was so fat, that he couldn't get out of the chair! It took five strong males, including Munkustrap and Mistoffelees, and three attempts, to eventually heave him out of it! Finally, he was upright, and the cats then stood in a line to receive a goodbye from him, trying their best not to look dead on their feet!

However, as she said her farewells, Jazzie noticed Lucitana hanging back, looking apprehensive. In fact, Jazzie herself couldn't help but wonder whether or not she had seen him somewhere before… “It's ok,” Munkustrap whispered in her ear. “I don't particularly like the chinless wonder either! But, he _is_ a very important cat, so just smile and nod, ok!”

Before Jazzie had a chance to question him about this, he was off again! Bustopher Jones may have departed, but _another_ cat had arrived in his place! This time, it was an old Thespian veteran, who sat and told the same old worn out stories that everyone still loved to hear (or else, were made to sit politely and listen!) about his time in the theatre.

* * *

Finally, when the old cat was done with his storytelling, Rum Tum Tugger conveniently appeared and made it clear that HE now had a word for everyone!

Skimbleshanks tutted and rolled his eyes, “Oh noo! Here we goo agin! Could somebody _please_ put a cork in thes bampot’s arse?!”

With his trademark lopsided smirk, the Gold Charcoal Bengcoon announced, "Doyou know, folks? Our Munkustrap here? My _lovely,_ straight-down-the-middle-butter-wouldn't-melt-in-his-little-mouth brother, used to be a bit of a rotter?"  
  
Munkustrap looked at him with a very worried expression! "What are you talking about?" He hissed.  
  
Rum Tum Tugger only replied:  
  
_"Come here and sit down,_ _  
_ _Your gonna have the truth told about you and put on record."_  
  
"Tugger!?" Munkustrap warned.  
  
_"'Ere, please don't sit too close to me because I've just had my dinner...thank you._  
_Who put salt in the sugar bowl?_ _  
_ _Who put fireworks in the coal?_ _  
_ _Who put a real live toad in the hole? MY BROTHER!"_  
  
Munkustrap glared at him. Little good it did, though! Tugger simply leered and carried on singing: _  
_ _  
_ _"Who put jam in mother's shoe?_ _  
_ _Who made real caterpillar stew?_ _  
_ _Who locked Grandad in the loo? MY BROTHER!_ _  
_ _My brother said it wasn't he who put shampoo in Grandma's tea_ _  
_ _My brother said that it was me! (My brother's rotten!)_ _  
_ _Who squeezed toothpaste round the hall?_ _  
_ _Who put soot in the baby's ball?_ _  
_ _Who drew things on the garden wall? MY BROTHER!_ _  
_ _You oughta see what he drew!_ _  
_ _Auhh what a surprise! Nobody knew what it was really,_ _  
_ _But everybody had a good idea!_ _  
_ _And he wrote slogans: "Down with young mothers!" that was one. 'Cause he didn't think our mum knew how to bring us up right, see. I didn't think so either! You know, every night when we were wide awake, she'd make us go to bed. And every morning, when we were fast asleep she'd make us get up!_ _  
_ _Who's pet mouse made Aunty shriek?_ _  
_ _Who ate glue and couldn't speak?_ _  
_ _What clever dick was sick for a week? MY BROTHER!_ _  
_ _Who keeps maggots in a tin?_ _  
_ _Plays the twist on his violin?_ _  
_ _Who's been getting at the gin? MY BROTHER!_ _  
_ _He looks just like a chimney sweep, but dirt they say is just skin deep._ _  
_ _I know he's good when he's asleep!_ _  
_ _But you don't know what he's dreaming about do ya?_ _  
_ _Who doesn't mind if I ride his bike?_ _  
_ _Who lets me shoot his gun if I like?_ _  
_ _Who says I'm best at Football, Ludo, Snakes & Ladders, Hide & Seek, chasin' each other up and down the garden, pinchin' little queens up the high street? Well he's gotta say I'm best 'cause I'm as big as he is and if he don't say I'm best at everything I'll bash him. HaHa! _ _  
_ _MY LOVELY LOVELY BROTHER!"_  
  
(My Brother by Terry Scott)  
  
In the midst of yet more guffaws and pails of laughter, Munkustrap smiled sheepishly. "He's right!" He admitted. "I often wonder what became of that tin of maggots!"  
  
Tugger answered, “I don't know about the tin, but I know EXACTLY what became of the maggots! Jenny found them under MY pillow! I swear I learnt from the best!”

Munkustrap smiled. “Yeah, well. You shouldn't have pissed me off! Besides, you put me up to half of those pranks, mainly because you didn't have the nerve!”

“Too right, I didn't!” came the retort. “You remember Grandma???! She had a face like a dragon with chicken pox!”

“And she gave gave us such a hiding for that shampoo prank, I couldn't feel my ears for a week!” Munkustrap remembered.

He turned to the gathering, becoming serious again, and the Jellicles grew silent with anticipation. They knew that manner well enough by now. He was going to tell them a story!  

Clearing his throat, he began: "Someone who did not know me particularly well once said, that if one was to cut me down the middle, you would see **perfectly responsible protector** all the way through.”

“Surely that is true?” Jazzie piped up, and several cats nodded in agreement. How could it NOT be true???

He sighed and shook his head. “How I wish it was…”

There was a collective gasp, and Jellicles began turning to one another, murmuring, while the older ones had strange expressions on their faces, like they were well aware of the revelations, but didn't care to remember.

Munkustrap held up a paw for quiet, and gradually the murmuring stopped. “I know it's hard to believe,” he said. “But there was once a time when I wasn't as… shall we say, _straight edged..._ as I try to be now. In fact, a few of our older members will remember the three of us: Macavity, Tugger and I, once collectively described as a basket of bad eggs, due to the fact that we were heading towards a life that… to put it lightly… was _not_ conducive to the _Jellicle_ ideal.

“I suppose, you do not truly know good, until you have known bad- although I am not advocating that you do what I did!

"I learned the hard way that it pays more to be good, than to be bad. In fact, I chose to become a Protector, partly to repent for my misdeeds, although I tend to refer to them as bad decisions nowadays.

"I made a promise, with EC as my witness, that I would live out my days in truth and benevolence, that I would choose love over hate. And so, here I am... doing what I do out of love and subservience to you and her Divine Grace… and the infantile pranks have long since moved on to something more tactile! Pity the same can't be said for certain other individuals!" He shot his brother a look.  
  
"Did you _really_ see the Everlasting Cat?" asked a adolescent with fascination.  
  
"Yes, Kaleidahan... I believe I did," Munkustrap replied, recognising the blue point Siamese from earlier.  
  
"What was she like?" Asked another.  
  
"Everything you would imagine... and more,” said Munkustrap sagely. “Beautiful, brighter than a star... yet more terrible than a thousand bad winters! You certainly don't want to end up on the wrong side of her, so if she tells you to be good, you had better do what she says! And, I'll grant you, being good isn't always easy! There are times when the instant gratification of bad lures and entices us with its promise of large, fleeting rewards. But we do not choose the path of good because it is easy. We choose it because it is right.

“It asks a lot of us. To work hard for rewards that are small by comparison, but much longer lasting. Which, in turn, encourages us to harbour gratitude towards the simple things that really matter, rather than resentment towards things that do not! Thus, the harder we work, the happier we will be... given time."  
  
The cats all listened intently to what he was saying. Some of the younger ones were unable to believe their ears, for they could not imagine their Protector being _anything_ other than virtuous!

In order to put his point across, Munkustrap sang to them, inciting everyone to join in:  
  
_"How many sorrows_ _  
_ _Do you try to hide_ _  
_ _In a world of illusion_ _  
_ _That's covering your mind?_ _  
_ _I'll show you something good_ _  
_ _Oh I'll show you something good._ _  
_ _When you open your mind_ _  
_ _You'll discover the sign_ _  
_ _That there's something_ _  
_ _You're longing to find_ _  
_ _The miracle of love_ _  
_ _Will take away your pain_ _  
_ _When the miracle of love_ _  
_ _Comes your way again._ _  
_ _Cruel is the night_ _  
_ _That covers up your fears._ _  
_ _Tender is the one_ _  
_ _That wipes away your tears._ _  
_ _There must be a bitter breeze_ _  
_ _To make you sting so viciously_ _  
_ _They say the greatest coward_ _  
_ _Can hurt the most ferociously._ _  
_ _But I'll show you something good._ _  
_ _Oh I'll show you something good._ _  
_ _If you open your heart_ _  
_ _You can make a start_ _  
_ _When your crumbling world falls apart._ _  
_ _The miracle of love_ _  
_ _Will take away your pain_ _  
_ _When the miracle of love_ _  
_ _Comes your way again.”_  
  
(The Miracle of Love by Eurythmics)  
  
"Who's Macavity?" asked Kaleidahan.  
  
Rum Tum Tugger and Munkustrap looked at eachother and answered at the same time, "Our brother!"  
  
"You're seriously going to give that Ratbag a dedication, after what he did last year???” Tugger asked, giving Munkustrap an incredulous look.  
  
"Well... he _may_ be despicable, but he’s still one of us! We can't really leave him out,” Munkustrap replied, looking thoughtful. “Plus, it does no harm to make people aware… and I really like this song! So there!”

In the next heartbeat, he and Tugger had donned top hats and tap shoes, and began to dance with canes!  
  
# _Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear_ _  
_ _And it shows them pearly white_ _  
_ _Just a jackknife has old Macavity,_ _  
_ _And he keeps it, ah, out of sight_ _  
_ _Ya know when that shark bites with his teeth, babe_ _  
_ _Scarlet billows start to spread_ _  
_ _Fancy gloves, oh, wears old Macavity,_ _  
_ _So there's never, never a trace of red."_

Tugger sang the next verse, _  
_ _  
_ _"Now on the sidewalk, huh, huh, whoo sunny morning, un huh_ _  
_ _Lies a body just oozin' life, eek_ _  
_ _And someone's sneakin' 'round the corner_ _  
_ _Could that someone be Mac the Knife?"_ _  
_ _  
_ They performed a jig with rest of the tribe, singing in perfect harmony. Their voices really did gel together rather well, sounding a bit like David Bowie and Bing Crosby! _  
_ _  
_ _"There's a tugboat, huh, huh, down by the river don'tcha know_ _  
_ _Where a cement bag's just a'droopin' on down_ _  
_ _Oh, that cement is for, just for the weight, dear_ _  
_ _Five'll get ya ten old Macky's back in town_ _  
_ _Now d'ja hear 'bout Louie Miller? He disappeared, babe_ _  
_ _After drawin' out all his hard-earned cash_ _  
_ _And now Macavity spends just like a sailor_ _  
_ _Could it be our boy's done somethin' rash?_ _  
_ _  
_ _Now Demeter, ho, ho, yeah, Bombalurina_ _  
_ _Ooh, Miss Jellylorum and old Gumbie Cat_ _  
_ _Oh, that line forms on the right, babe_ _  
_ _Now that Macky's back in town_ _  
_ _  
_ _I said Demeter, whoa, Bombalurina_ _  
_ _Look out to Miss Jellylorum and old Gumbie Cat_ _  
_ _Yes, that line forms on the right, babe_ _  
_ _Now that Macky's back in town_ _  
_ _Look out, old Macky's back!"_ _  
_ _  
_ (Mack The Knife by Bobby Darin) _  
_ _  
_ Munkustrap wasn't done there. "Jazzie, this one's for you!" He announced.

Ditching the hat, cane and shoes, he now brandished his guitar and began to perform a much slower, folkier number:

 _#"Her name is Jazzimoré, she has dainty white paws,_ _  
_ _But is known to her friends as Jazzie,_ _  
_ _Came on a great boat, to Britain's shores,_ _  
_ _Sailed over to Plymouth from Calais,_ _  
_ _"You'll make a fine cat, to cheer up my patients," commented Doctor Langdon,_ _  
_ _So she wondered wards and the long corridors of the University College London,_ _  
_ _After awhile she took to observing the doctors and nurses at work,_ _  
_ _They called her Claudette because the operating room was where she liked to lurk, She read all the books and learned very fast, and took to treating cats on the street pavement,_ _  
_ _Word got out and soon every cat was coming to seek her for treatment._ _  
_ _From as far as east as Poplar and as far West as Wembley,_ _  
_ _They all knew about Doctor Jazzie._ _  
_ _But not all ears have kindly intent. And one desired her for his own affair._ _  
_ _So late one night he stole her away and locked her up in his lair._ _  
_ _Forced to work for sordid toms, instead of doing what she loved for free,_ _  
_ _She'd cry in the night and found comfort with three others as pretty as she,_ _  
_ _They gave each other moral support and soon became quite the posse,_ _  
_ _Hortenseya, Lucitana, Norstara and Doctor Jazzie,_ _  
_ _It was in the gentletom's club that I found her, watching her dance on a pole,_ _  
_ _Her blue eyes met mine, but I knew right then, it was my heart that she stole,_ _  
_ _I rescued them all and into the night we fled, chased by Macavity's guard,_ _  
_ _We narrowly avoided the car and the train and made it back safe to the junkyard._ _  
_ _I took her white paws into mine and said, "Jazzie, we need a doctor."_ _  
_ _Her brown mask hooded her eyes, and she spoke in a voice fair as her fur,_ _  
_ _"I will work for you, of course I will, I will be your new doctor,_ _  
_ _Yes, with my fellow nurses, I will be your new doctor,"_ _  
_ _Her name is Jazzimoré, she has dainty white paws,_ _  
_ _But is known to her friends as Jazzie,_ _  
_ _She came on a great boat, to Britain's shores,_ _  
_ _But I believe Heaviside sent her to me."_ _  
_ _  
_ (White Paws. Lyrics by Munkustrap, melody by Rum Tum Tugger)  
  
"Well!" thought Jazzie. "I'm not going to let THAT go unanswered!"  
  
She made eye contact with her sisters. They took centre stage and gave the performance of their lives:  
  
# _"His name is Munkustrap_ _  
_ _The bravest cat of all_ _  
_ _You can count on him_ _  
_ _Our mighty Protector_ _  
_ _To be there when you call_ _  
_ _The world can be a scary place_ _  
_ _When you are rather small_ _  
_ _But there's a cyan eyed hero among us,_ _  
_ _The bravest of them all_ _  
_ _For though he can be fierce, he is honorable and kind_ _  
_ _Really a gentle giant_ _  
_ _The strongest you will find_ _  
_ _This Bengcoon's seen many a scuffle_ _  
_ _Though you'd hardly know_ _  
_ _For he is silver with black stripes_ _  
_ _From his head down to his toe_ _  
_ _He puts himself between us_ _  
_ _And the danger that lurks outside_ _  
_ _While we stand behind him_ _  
_ _That's where the kittens like to hide!_ _  
_ _  
_ _His name is Munkustrap_ _  
_ _The bravest cat of all,_ _  
_ _You can count on him_ _  
_ _Our mighty Protector_ _  
_ _To be there when you call_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh Munkustrap,_ _  
_ _You're our flame, forever burning bright_ _  
_ _May you always be there to scare the thunder from the night_ _  
_ _Oh Munkustrap_ _  
_ _from our hearts we send our love_ _  
_ _The Everlasting cat surrounds you and watches you from above_ _  
_ _  
_ _So when faced with mortal danger_ _  
_ _No coward is he_ _  
_ _From pollicle, rat to Macavity_ _  
_ _He'd gladly fight all three_ _  
_ _But he's also a family tom_ _  
_ _With many wives to choose_ _  
_ _Chess and cards, he's good at winning_ _  
_ _But he doesn't like to lose!_ _  
_ _He's confident with sword, bow, stick and claw_ _  
_ _He could hit a bullseye,_ _  
_ _From ten feet or more,_ _  
_ _His powers of healing and stealth are not widely known,_ _  
_ _He likes to practice yoga,_ _  
_ _When he is alone,_ _  
_ _Nor are his powers of dark magic, they are rarely used,_ _  
_ _Warned his powers could turn him evil,_ _  
_ _If they were abused,_ _  
_ _He's no stranger to the dark where many a skeleton resides,_ _  
_ _Rumour has it he sailed with Growltiger,_ _  
_ _Shortly before his demise,_ _  
_ _But a miscreant no longer,_ _  
_ _He prefers to play guitar and sing songs to the Queen_ _  
_ _Or dance at the club or play Chopin,_ _  
_ _While teaching the kittens to be good and not mean,_ _  
_ _A thespian and storyteller, his mind is sharp and wise,_ _  
_ _He is our silver knight,_ _  
_ _The one who lights up our eyes._ _  
_ _  
_ _And his name is Munkustrap!_ _  
_ _The bravest cat of all,_ _  
_ _We can count on you (Yeah always count on you)_ _  
_ _Our mighty Protector (yeah)_ _  
_ _To be there when we call_ _  
_ _Munkustrap_ _  
_ _Munkustrap_ _  
_ _Munkustrap_ _  
_ _Munkustraaaaap!"_  
  
(Munkustrap by The Nymph Quartet)  
  
There was stunned silence. Followed by an eruption of applause! _"Oh God! I am quite literally speechless!"_ Thought Munkustrap, shaking his head. _"Scare the thunder from the night??? Whatever next???!"_  
  
It was all very cringe-worthy for him, but he graciously thanked Jazzie and her colleagues all the same. "You bad girls! I told you not to write me anything!" He mock scolded them.

"Well! _You_ wrote _me_ a song!" Jazzie argued.

"Tugger helped!" He admitted.

"Oh."

There was a pause. Munkustrap shifted awkwardly. "Sorry...!" He mumbled. "We wrote it before…"

She placed a paw on his arm… "Oui. And I loved it,” she said. “Although, you could have written me a nursery rhyme and I would still have loved it!"  
  
He smiled, looking relieved.  
  
"So, tell me what you thought of my song!!!" She said excitedly. "We worked so hard on it! Did I get all the details right?"  
  
He just looked at her and chuckled, _"_ _Gladly_ fight all three, _would_ I?!"

* * *

Luckily, Munkustrap’s embarrassment was interrupted when a shout went up!

“Old Deuteronomy has returned to us!” cried Mistoffelees.

There was much rejoicing and excitement, as the their beloved leader appeared at long last!

Cats swarmed around him, all wanting to be the first touch his long fur, despite Munkustrap’s attempts to hold them back! “Give him some room!” he chided them, holding out his paw for Old Deuteronomy to steady himself with, as he moved through the throng of eager Jellicles, heading towards the tyre.

Jazzie could see, immediately that this was no ordinary cat. The brown tabby Maine Coon seemed older than the Earth itself, with an aura of peace and wisdom lost in the folds of his ancient face, which positively radiated love, and the love that Jazzie and the other Jellicles felt for him in return was magnetic, with everyone wanting to bask in the warmth of his faded, orange eyes!

After Munkustrap had helped him to sit comfortably, he announced that he'd organised some entertainment in his honour, just as he had done the year before. (How could he forget the disaster that had been The Awful Battle Of The Pekes and The Pollicles, which had been his first ever performance? The stress of it had nearly brought him to breaking point!)

This time, with the help of the Bombalurina, Demeter and Jellylorum as backing singers, he narrated a story called The Snake, and it went something like this:  
  
_"On her way to work one morning_ _  
_ _Down the path alongside the lake_ _  
_ _A tender hearted woman saw a poor half frozen snake_ _  
_ _His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew,_ _  
_ _Poor thing!_ _  
_ _She cried,_ _  
_ _I'll take you in and I'll take care of you!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Take me in tender woman (come on in!)_ _  
_ _Take me in, for heaven's sake (come on in!)_ _  
_ _Take me in, tender woman, ssssighed the sssnake_ _  
_ _  
_ _She wrapped him up all cozy in a comforter of silk_ _  
_ _And laid him by her fireside with some honey and some milk_ _  
_ _She hurried home from work that night and soon as she arrived_ _  
_ _She found that pretty snake she'd taken to had been revived_ _  
_ _  
_ _Take me in, tender woman (come on in!)_ _  
_ _Take me in, for heaven's sake (come on in!)_ _  
_ _Take me in, tender woman, ssssighed the sssnake_ _  
_ _  
_ _She clutched him to her bosom,_ _  
_ _You're so beautiful!_ _  
_ _She cried,_ _  
_ _"But if I hadn't brought you in by now you might have died!_ _  
_ _She stroked his pretty skin again and kissed and held him tight_ _  
_ _Instead of saying thanks, that snake gave her a vicious bite!_ _  
_ _Oh!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Take me in, tender woman_ _  
_ _Take me in, for heaven's sake_ _  
_ _Take me in, tender woman, sssighed the ssssnake._ _  
_ _  
_ _I saved you!_ _  
_ _Cried the woman,_ _  
_ _And you've bitten me, but why?_ _  
_ _You know your bite is poisonous and now I'm going to die!_ _  
_ _Oh shut up, silly woman!_ _  
_ _Said the reptile with a grin,_ _  
_ _You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Take me in, tender woman (come on in!)_ _  
_ _Take me in, for heaven's sake (come on in!)_ _  
_ _Take me in, tender woman, sssighed the ssssnake_ _  
_ _Sssighed the ssssnake! Sssighed the ssssnake!"_  
  
(The Snake by Al Wilson)

Jennyanydots played the 'Tender Hearted Woman', while Rum Tum Tugger was 'The Snake', which was actually a magnificent chinese serpent, made out of cardboard and colourful fabric!

Tugger was dressed up as the head. As the song went on, more and more cats climbed underneath the trailing cloth until it stretched right around the Junkyard!

All was going well, until Tugger accidentally tripped over a tassel!

The tom behind him, who happened to be Tumblebrutus, trod on his tail.

Tugger was about to turn and give him what for, when the entire line of Jellicles careered straight into him! Before long, pandemonium ensued as the train collapsed like a line of dominoes and they all ended up in a tangled, giggling mess on the floor, with the ‘snake’ looking like it had been run over by a tractor!

Munkustrap looked as though he wanted to tear his fur out!

However, despite the minor hiccup, Old Deuteronomy kindly showed his appreciation for the performance.

“Bravo!” He said. “Well done, all of you! A splendid performance as always!”

He knew only too well that directing a bunch of cats was like trying to direct a nest of ants!

During a quiet interval, he mentioned to Munkustrap, "You're going to have a hard time topping that one next year."

“I'm not going to try!” Munkustrap replied, finally able to laugh at the whole thing, now it was over.

His father chuckled and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “You always say that!”

* * *

  
The moon rose to its pole position in the sky. One by one, the cats took up their positions and began to dance by its luminescent light... dancing in perfect unison... while the magic of the Junkyard rose within them and the atmosphere crackled with euphoria and jubilation!

After awhile, the Jellicles slowly began to disperse. Soon, there were only two cats left standing in the middle of the floor: Etcetera and Electra.

This time last year, a naive Etcetera had sworn blind that there could only be one tom for her: her uncle Rum Tum Tugger! But, over the past year, she had matured and grown into a beautiful young queen, with an infectious smile that stole the hearts of many toms, but none more so than Pouncival.

Slowly, the twins' radar had shifted, and now they gazed lovingly at the toms who were waiting patiently to be accepted as their mates. Tentatively, they took the paws of their respective new partners, and the mating dance began. Other couples joined them, and before long, everyone was resting upon the floor in a tangled mass of sleeping bodies... everyone, that is, except for Munkustrap. He stood dutifully by his father's side, overlooking the proceedings and making sure that nothing got out of paw, whilst reminiscing about his own mating dance, all those years ago. He caught Jellylorum’s eye, and her warm smile told him that he wasn't the _only_ one doing the reminiscing!

His gaze fell upon four bodies in amongst the slumbering mass. A few young whippersnappers (including his brother and eldest son) were trying to make moves on the young queens, including the likes of Lucitana and Norstara. However, the pair seemed to be having none of it!

Meanwhile, it was endearing to see Hortenseya and Mistoffelees getting close. They'd had eyes for each other since day one, just as he’d had for another!

His gaze settled on her now. How he wished he could be down there, his arms around her, holding her warm body close...!

They'd been stealing furtive glances towards one another all night… but she wasn't looking at him right now. Who was that trying to muscle in on her??? His eyes narrowed. “Kaleidahan!” He thought. “I might have known!”

She was whispering quietly to him, but he couldn't hear what was being said. His ears went back!

“Easy, Munkustrap!” said the voice of his father, quietly. “She will make up her own mind when she is ready.”

Munkustrap uttered a low growl, but stayed where he was, eyes fixed firmly on Kaleidahan.

The young tom tried touching her, but she batted his paw away. He was about to try again, when he caught sight of a certain large Alpha, looming in the corner and firing poison darts at him with his eyes.

He visibly shrank!

But before Munkustrap could grab the lascivious cretin and string him up by his whiskers, Jazzie suddenly turned her head and looked straight at him. “Don't worry! It's still you I want!” her eyes said.

And Munkustrap immediately forgot about what he wanted to do to the blue point Tonkinese! Well, almost!

* * *

  
Not long after that, Mistoffelees stood up. His fur was ruffled and he looked a little dazed... but he cleared his throat all the same, and made another announcement. One that Munkustrap had been dreading all evening. “Ladies and Gentlecats, mogs and kittens, if I could have your attention please?”

Gradually, the space went quiet and the Jellicles listened.

Misto grinned. “It’s time for The Dance Off!” he declared.

Munkustrap and Rum Tum Tugger faced each other on either side of the clearing, while Mistoffelees explained the rules: “Each dancer is to perform his own routine, the one that he has practiced. Who goes first shall be decided with this twenty pence piece!” He pulled something out from behind Victoria's ear and held up a shiny, silver heptagonal shaped coin, and got ready to toss.  “Your call!” He said to his father and uncle.

“Heads!” Tugger shouted out, before Munkustrap could get a word in.

He shrugged and muttered, “Tails.”

Misto tossed the coin and slapped it on the back of his paw. “Heads,” he said. “Tugger dances first.”  
  
Because this was essentially a battle without bloodshed, the equally matched brothers approached one another and shook paws. "May the best tom win!" Said Mistoffelees.  
  
"I fully intend to!" Tugger drawled, and shouldered passed his brother to take up his position on the dance floor.

He faced the audience. The music started, and he leapt straight in with stereotypical flamboyant flare! Earning gasps and “Wow’s!” from the crowd, he really _was_ a phenomenal dancer, with fancy footwork and a funky style that would have made Fred Astaire green with envy.

Munkustrap had to admit that he was a little worried! What if his brother was the better dancer? What if he WON? He thought about his brother's smug face as he claimed Jazzie for his own... and felt sick! However, as Tugger finished his routine, with a grin and a flourish, he clapped half- heartedly along with the everyone else. Then swallowed a ball of nerves. It was _his_ turn!

"Good luck!" Mistoffelees whispered in his ear. "Don't you _dare_ let me down! Remember what I told you? That whole thing about dancing from the heart?"  
  
"Yes, yes, alright Misto!" Munkustrap snapped.

He strode to the middle of the floor, and turned his back to the audience.

All went dark. The hypnotic music was his cue.

Illuminated by the moon's spotlight, he began to move. His arms, his whole body, every muscle… flowed and turned with a fluidity, like smoke trailing along the ground, weightless and mesmerising… telling a story, one from long ago. A tale of loss, sadness and longing...

The music changed. A different melody with a faster tempo. He moved to it, showing joy in every leap and turn, every Développé and Grand Jeté. He danced like he had never danced before…! But would it be enough?

He ended dramatically, arms thrust out to the audience, which showed appreciation for its Protector by cheering and clapping (Bombalurina’s wolf whistling could be plainly heard above all else!)

“Now!” Announced Mistoffelees, his usually timid voice booming over the din. “While the contestants rest, I would like the jury to cast its vote. I shall call out the name of a contestant, and _you_ will raise your paw if you liked their dance the best! And need I remind you, it's ONE VOTE EACH?! I repeat, ONE VOTE EACH! Skimbal? If you would care to help with the counting?”

Skimbal nodded. “Aye, Laddie!”

“Ok!” said Mistoffelees, over another eruption of excited chatter! “All in favour of Rum Tum Tugger- raise your paws... now!”

A series of paws shot up, and Skimbal began to furiously count them! When he was done, he nodded to Misto.

“Errr… you can put your paws down now!” said Misto. “Right. All in favour of Munkustrap?”

Another round of paws shot up (including Skimbal's!) “Ah didne care how goot tha lavvy-heided wankstain thenks he es, Munkus has ma voot!” Skimbal muttered under his breath.

The votes were counted, and Mistoffelees made another announcement. “I am pleased to announce... that the winner is… are you sure Skimbal?”

The Marmalade Maine Coon nodded again. “Aye! Ah cownted each voot thrree tyeems just to be sure!!!”

“Oh. Well. Then..." Misto looked at crowd. "We have a tie folks!”

In the midst of more chatter, Misto, Munkus, Tugger and Skimbal (because he had to be involved in anything, no matter _what_ was happening!) tried to sort out who the winner was.

“Hey! If everyone could just shut the Hell up and listen to ME for a sec?!” Tugger hollered.

“Looks like we doon't have much of a choice, eh!” muttered Skimbal.

Tugger ignored him and continued, “Seeing as she’s what this shit was all about in the first place, surely we ought to leave it up to the LADY to decide?!”

He extending his paw out to Jazzie, and the crowd parted around her... "So? Make up your mind, girl!” He said, brandishing an old microphone that he'd fished from God knew where! “Are you gonna be mine, or what?” And, with that, he performed one last dance for her: a rowdy rock number:  
  
“ _Go!_ _  
_ _  
_ _So one, two, three, take my hand and come with me_ _  
_ _Because you look so fine_ _  
_ _That I really wanna make you mine_ _  
_ _  
_ _I say you look so fine_ _  
_ _That I really wanna make you mine_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh, four, five, six c'mon and get your kicks_ _  
_ _Now you don't need that money_ _  
_ _When you look like that, do ya honey?_ _  
_ _  
_ _Little white boots_ _  
_ _Soft brown hair_ _  
_ _She's so sweet_ _  
_ _With her jet black stare_ _  
_ _  
_ _Well I could see_ _  
_ _You home with me_ _  
_ _But you were with another tom, yeah!_ _  
_ _I know we_ _  
_ _Ain't got much to say_ _  
_ _Before I let you get away, yeah!_ _  
_ _I said, are you gonna be my girl?_ _  
_ _  
_ _Well, so one, two, three, take my hand and come with me_ _  
_ _Because you look so fine_ _  
_ _That I really wanna make you mine_ _  
_ _  
_ _I say you look so fine_ _  
_ _That I really wanna make you mine_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh, four, five, six c'mon and get your kicks_ _  
_ _Now you don't need that money_ _  
_ _With a face like that, do ya_ _  
_ _  
_ _Little white boots_ _  
_ _Soft brown hair_ _  
_ _She's so sweet_ _  
_ _With her jet black stare_ _  
_ _  
_ _Well I could see_ _  
_ _You home with me_ _  
_ _But you were with another man, yeah!_ _  
_ _I know we,_ _  
_ _Ain't got much to say_ _  
_ _Before I let you get away, yeah!_ _  
_ _I said, are you gonna be my girl?_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh yeah, oh yeah, c'mon!_ _  
_ _I could see_ _  
_ _You home with me_ _  
_ _But you were with another tom, yeah!_ _  
_ _I know we_ _  
_ _Ain't got much to say_ _  
_ _Before I let you get away, yeah!_ _  
_ _Uh, be my girl_ _  
_ _Be my girl_ _  
_ _Are you gonna be my girl?_ _  
_ _Yeah!"_  
  
(Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet)  
  
As he sang the final “Yeah!” he got down on one knee... and silence descended, the atmosphere suddenly tense.

Jazzie stared at him, expressionless.

She looked over at Munkustrap, then back at the tom kneeling before her. "Tugger..." she began. "I-I loved your dance... but-"  
  
He grinned. "You made the right choice, girl-!" And went to stand up-  

"Wait! Let me finish!” She yelled.

“Oh. Ok.” He knelt back down.

“Tugger…” she continued, “I loved your dance... BUT!” She raised her voice as it looked as though he was about to get up again! “I have made my decision!"

She took a step forwards… and brushed right passed him, looking straight at The Silver tom.

He stood like a statue, his coat shimmering in the moonlight... looking... uncharacteristically bashful! In fact, if he'd had pockets, his paws would have been in them!

She stood before him, this skyscraper of a tom. The sight of him made her heart beat so fast it hurt! “There is no one on this Earth who is as beautiful as you,” she whispered. “I simply don't believe it. How could there be?

_No-one on earth could feel like this._

_I'm thrown and overblown with bliss._ _  
_ _There must be an angel_ _  
_ _Playing with my heart._ _  
_ _I walk into an empty room_ _  
_ _And suddenly my heart goes "boom"!_ _  
_ _It's an orchestra of angels_ _  
_ _And they're playing with my heart._ _  
_ _  
_ _(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_ _  
_ _  
_ _No-one on earth could feel like this._ _  
_ _I'm thrown and overblown with bliss._ _  
_ _There must be an angel_ _  
_ _Playing with my heart._ _  
_ _And when I think that I'm alone_ _  
_ _It seems there's more of us at home._ _  
_ _It's a multitude of angels_ _  
_ _And they're playing with my heart._ _  
_ _  
_ _(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_

_(Must be talking to an angel)_ _  
_ _  
_ _I must be hallucinating_ _  
_ _Watching angels celebrating._ _  
_ _Could this be reactivating_ _  
_ _All my senses dislocating?_ _  
_ _This must be a strange deception_ _  
_ _By celestial intervention._ _  
_ _Leavin' me the recollection_ _  
_ _Of your heavenly connection!”_

(There Must Be An Angel [Playing With My Heart] by Eurythmics)

He simply responded, “I am sure there is beauty on this Earth that far exceeds mine. She stands before me now. You are the angel, not I.”

 _"You_ might think that,” she replied. “But it was your dance that that made me cry!"

After a moment or two of stunned silence, he cleared his throat and whispered, “I'm sorry-!”

“Don't be! It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen…!”

“Well I... tried...”

“All for me?"  
  
He smiled, "You'll never believe me when I say that dancing isn't really my thing. In fact, Misto threatened to turn me into a chicken at one point!”  
  
"Well… your hard work has paid off. Congratulations. You are the winner!" She said, and before he could stutter a “Thanks,” reached up and planted her lips on his!

The announcement was greeted with cheers and congratulatory pats on the back from all... barr one…! "Oh, DARN IT!" Rum Tum Tugger yelled and stormed off as everyone else celebrated around him!  
  
"There's one thing I don't understand," said Munkustrap, once he was able to take a breath. "There are many younger, more handsome toms... what on Earth do you see in this old coffin dodger?!"  
  
She giggled, "Coffin dodger??!" She looked at him incredulously. "Don't you realise how amazing you are?!"  
  
He shook his head again. "I'm really not-!"

She placed a finger on his lips. "Ah ah! That is for _me_ to decide! And now, you are going to dance with me!"

Soft, sweet music started up. Munkustrap lifted her up and spun her around, letting her fall back into his arms. She smiled. She hadn't a care in the world, as long as she was being held like this, not even for the eyes that watched and glowered with burning jealousy…!  
  
_"Face to face_ _  
_ _One to one_ _  
_ _Two hearts race_ _  
_ _All is lost and won_ _  
_ _  
_ _Air to air_ _  
_ _Light to light_ _  
_ _All laid bare_ _  
_ _Senses taking flight_ _  
_ _  
_ _It all begins_ _  
_ _When stars align_ _  
_ _And two paths meet_ _  
_ _To re-define_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _It all begins_ _  
_ _When stars align_ _  
_ _And two paths meet_ _  
_ _To re-define_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _  
_ _Flame to flame_ _  
_ _Dust to dust_ _  
_ _We became_ _  
_ _Tenderness and trust_ _  
_ _  
_ _It all begins_ _  
_ _When stars align_ _  
_ _And two paths meet_ _  
_ _To re-define_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _It all begins_ _  
_ _When stars align_ _  
_ _And two paths meet_ _  
_ _To re-define_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _We fall in love_ _  
_ _  
_ _(We fall in love)_ _  
_ _  
_ _It all begins_ _  
_ _We fall in love."_  
  
(We fall in love by Lamb)  
  
After the dance ended, Munkustrap took her by the paw and led her to the tyre. “Sir,” he said, dipping his head. “I wish to present someone to you. Her name is Jazzimoré. I wish to make her my new official mate. That is... if you and the council approve?”

The Old tom gazed down at them. For a long time he said nothing, appearing to be deliberating. Eventually he said, “It is approved… but only if there are no other objections?”

He looked to a group older females- the formidable Queen’s Council.

They included Jellylorum, Jennyanydots and Bombalurina within their ranks and were the ones to make the ultimate decisions concerning Junkyard matters and Jellicle society. Nothing could be done without their prior knowledge, approval or backing, so it was another tense few minutes as they quietly conferred amongst themselves. Whilst awaiting their verdict, Munkustrap slipped a paw into Jazzie’s and gave it a little squeeze.

Meanwhile, a sable siamese shot Jazzie a disapproving glance. “She was a whore for Macavity!” She whispered. “We have to take that into consideration!”

“So was I!” objected Bombalurina, giving her a hard stare.

“Yes Cassandra, we have,” Tantomile calmly replied. “And we don't think it relevant. I have experienced the good she does, first paw. She is a good soul, inside and out, and will be good for our Protector, I think. There's no denying their feelings for eachother. Would you deny them that?”

They all murmured in agreement, and seemed to come to a decision.

After sitting back, they addressed the congregation. “The match is approved!” announced their chairqueen Jennyanydots.

Jazzie couldn't believe it! She almost burst into tears and pails of ecstatic laughter all simultaneously! He lifted her up. She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder! She stroked his cheek and kissed him again. “I love you!” She whispered.

There was cheering. There were coos and aaaahs! There was a single, enraged shriek!

Demeter was shaking her head. “No!” She cried. “I will never accept this!!!”

She dived over and roughly pulled the coupled apart, literally tearing Jazzie away and shoving her to the side!

“Demi! What the-!” Munkustrap tried to stop her, but she turned and viciously hissed, threatening to strike!

“You take a step towards her, I swear I’ll KILL her!!!” She screamed.

Munkustrap grasped her paws. “Demi! Calm down-!”

“Don't you fucking tell me to calm down!!!” She tried to twist out of his grasp, but he held fast.

“This isn't you!” He told her sharply. “You need to get a grip!”

She glared at him, tears in her eyes.

“We can still be mates, if that’s what you want?” he compromised. “Nothing will change…!”

“I am the mother of your children!” She sobbed. “Why are you doing this?! You can't possibly LOVE her!!!?”

He couldn't meet her gaze. “I do,” he said.

“But… you're MINE-!!!”

He shook his head. “I belong to no one, and neither do you-!”

“If I may interject?” boomed a voice.

All the Jellicles looked up in veneration at their wise old leader as he directly addressed Demeter.

“Child,” he said. “I understand this is hard for you, but I am struggling to see what you find so objectionable. Munkustrap has had many wives, as have I, and many other protectors before him. Were you not a replacement yourself?”

Demeter was quiet. Of course she had been! Last year, Munkustrap had been due to attend the ball with Cassandra, but had broken it off shortly beforehand, for what reason, no one knew. However, all had worked out fine in the end, because the sable siamese had ended up leaving the ball with Alonzo. That said, even after a year, one could tell she still bore something of a grudge, judging by the way she scowled at Munkustrap, Jazzie and Demeter alike, at any available opportunity.

“The feeling of jealousy is a poisonous one!” the leader continued, with an air of finality. “You must kerb it, Demeter, or you will destroy yourself and those you love. Munkustrap has offered you a compromise, one that seems perfectly reasonable to me. The Council has an approved majority. Therefore, I see no reason why this union should not go ahead. The decision is final.”

Munkustrap put a protective arm around Jazzie's shoulders. They both stared at her, as if to say, “All against one. What do you say to THAT, Demeter?!”

Demeter snarled and backed away…! “You'll regret this!” She warned, “You're making a BIG mistake!!!”

She turned to Jazzie, looking as though she very much wanted to tear her throat out! “As for you, you backstabbing bitch!” She hissed. “You won't be looking so fucking smug once he's gotten bored of you as well!!!”

Jazzie flinched at the tirade of hatred. Then lifted her chin and evenly replied, “If my only crime is loving this tom, then you can go to Hell, Demeter!”

Demeter bared her teeth! Then ran off into the dark!

“I'll go-!” said Bombalurina.

“Nay lass!” said Skimbleshanks, putting a paw on her shoulder to stop her. “Leave heer tay cool doon! She ‘ad a face like a melted welly!”  

The silence was deafening. Jazzie turned to Munkustrap, looking worried. “Maybe we should not… if this is going to cause trouble for you...?!”

She began to pull away.

“Jazzie-!” He grabbed her wrist.

“I mean, the last thing I want is to cause friction here-!”

“Jazzie, none of this is your fault!” He reasoned. “I made my decision the moment I saw you, and I know it's the right one! To Hell with her and her jealousy! It is all about you and me now. If you’ll accept me?”

He took hold of her dainty paws, the ones he loved so much, and began to sing:

 _“There was a time_ _  
_ _I was everything and nothing all in one_ _  
_ _When you found me_ _  
_ _I was feeling like a cloud across the sun_ _  
_ _I need to tell you_ _  
_ _How you light up every second of the day_ _  
_ _But in the moonlight_ _  
_ _You just shine like a beacon on the bay_ _  
_ _And I can't explain_ _  
_ _But it's something about the way you look tonight_ _  
_ _Takes my breath away_ _  
_ _It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside_ _  
_ _And I can't describe_ _  
_ _But it's something about the way you look tonight_ _  
_ _Takes my breath away_ _  
_ _The way you look tonight_ _  
_ _With your smile_ _  
_ _You pull the deepest secrets from my heart_ _  
_ _In all honesty_ _  
_ _I'm speechless and I don't know where to start_ _  
_ _And I can't explain_ _  
_ _But it's something about the way you look tonight_ _  
_ _Oh, it takes my breath away_ _  
_ _It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside_ _  
_ _And I can't describe_ _  
_ _But it's something about the way you look tonight_ _  
_ _Takes my breath away_ _  
_ _The way you look tonight…”_

(The way you look tonight by Elton John)

Jazzie smiled. Feeling slightly breathless, she could only reply, “Ok.”

There was adoration in his eyes. He pulled her towards him. Her paws naturally came to rest on his forearms, while he naturally found her waist and suddenly he was kissing her like there was no one else there!

“Get a room alreedeh!” laughed Skimbal, giving him a congratulatory thump on the shoulder as he passed.

Old Deuteronomy nodded approvingly, his face breaking into a warm smile at the sight of the new couple. “May the celebrations continue!” He said.

And they did with gusto, only slightly marred by Demeter's absence and Bombalurina sitting alone, chewing her claws.

Jazzie's colleagues all squealed and hugged their friend. And then Mistoffelees put on the most amazing magic show for them, which dwarfed anything that had come before! It included a light show, fizzes, bangs, a line of coloured handkerchiefs, a flock of white doves exploding out of a top hat, and, of course, his famous blue lightning!

While the celebrations were in full swing, Munkustrap looked over and spotted someone sulking in the corner. With a sigh, he quietly extricated himself from Jazzie and made his way through the crowd, leaving her to trill away with her new friends.

As much as he felt the urge to shout, "In your face, sucker!" as Tugger probably would have done, Munkustrap deciding that decorum would be a safer bet in this situation. So, he extended his paw and calmly addressed the brooding figure. "I came to offer my commiserations."

“I don't want your commiserations!” snapped the other.

"No... neither would I,” Munkustrap admitted. “Look, let us not have any hard feelings, eh? We’re better off as friends, are we not?"

Tugger stared at the offered paw, trying to decide whether to take it, or bite it! Then, he shrugged and took it, pulling his brother into a brief, macho hug. "Look, man," he said finally. "I'm sorry for being a total knobshite, yeah? I should never have touched your woman. You had every right to go all felion on me! We're cool now, yeah?"

Munkustrap nodded, looking relieved. "Yes. I am... cool… as long as you are?"

"Ha! The Tugger is always cool, even when he’s not!”

“Great…!”

“He's also the better dancer, and you know it!"

Munkustrap laughed loudly, "I hate to say this brother, but a certain young queen begs to differ!"

Still attempting to iron out his crumpled pride with a rolling pin, Tugger pressed on, "Well? How’s about a re-match then, huh? Whaddya say? Best of three?"

"If you push your luck any further, it may well turn around and lamp you one!" Munkustrap responded.

The last thing he wanted was to do ANYMORE DANCING! At least, not until next year!

Tugger chortled and gave him an affectionate shove! “Ahhh! I was just messing with ya! Congratulations by the way! You sure gonna get it on later!”

Munkustrap shoved him back. “Thanks. Don't sound too envious, will you?”

“Who me??? Nah! The Tugger is immune to envy! All worth it just to see that big grin on your face, dude. I know it's a rare thing!”

Munkustrap smirked. “Tugger, do me a favour?”

“Yeh?”

“Shut up!!!”

* * *

  
It was almost dawn.

The time had come for Old Deuteronomy to announce the cat who would go up to the Heaviside layer, and, naturally, there wasn't a single Jellicle who didn't hope against all hope, that, this year, he would pick _them!_

After some more deliberation, the wise old feline made his decision... and chose Gus The Theatre Cat to ascend the magical stairway. As if on cue, it suddenly appeared, called down to Earth from the Heavens by Old Deuteronomy himself, and everyone agreed that it was the wise choice.

The Theatre Cat had given so much to the tribe, having been a dedicated and much loved member for well over thirty years. But his time had come. Since the last Ball, he had grown increasingly frail. His palsy had also gotten worse, rendering the poor waif barely able to stand!

“Must you go so soon?” sobbed Jellylorum, who had been his loyal companion and carer for as long as anyone could remember! “What will I do without you?”

The toothless old tom smiled, his wrinkled eyes twinkling as he shuffled towards the tyre with the aid of both her and his Grandson... “You'll have enough to keep you busy, my dear, as I'm sure you are well aware!” he said, indicating her swollen belly. He winked at Munkustrap. “Looks like I owe you congratulations before I go,” he said. “Look after her, won't you?”

Munkustrap pressed his lips together and nodded. “You know I will. Go on now.”

He helped Gus to the staircase, supporting a distraught Jellylorum also, as the queen wept loudly into his shoulder!

With tears in their own eyes, the rest of the cats waved as the staircase lifted Gus high into the Heavens, up passed the Russell Hotel... passed the Jellicle Moon... up to the Heaviside Layer.

“Goodbye!” they cried, “Goodbye!”

They ended the Ball with a finale. One that reminded everyone of what life was really about:  
  
_"Love, love, love_ _  
_ _Love, love, love_ _  
_ _Love, love, love_ _  
_ _  
_ _There's nothing you can do that can't be done_ _  
_ _Nothing you can sing that can't be sung_ _  
_ _Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game_ _  
_ _It's easy_ _  
_ _  
_ _Nothing you can make that can't be made_ _  
_ _No one you can save that can't be saved_ _  
_ _Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time_ _  
_ _It's easy_ _  
_ _  
_ _All you need is love_ _  
_ _All you need is love_ _  
_ _All you need is love, love_ _  
_ _Love is all you need_ _  
_ _  
_ _Love, love, love_ _  
_ _Love, love, love_ _  
_ _Love, love, love_ _  
_ _  
_ _All you need is love_ _  
_ _All you need is love_ _  
_ _All you need is love, love_ _  
_ _Love is all you need_ _  
_ _  
_ _Nothing you can know that isn't known_ _  
_ _Nothing you can see that isn't shown_ _  
_ _Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be_ _  
_ _It's easy_ _  
_ _  
_ _All you need is love_ _  
_ _All you need is love_ _  
_ _All you need is love, love_ _  
_ _Love is all you need_ _  
_ _  
_ _All you need is love (All together, now!)_ _  
_ _All you need is love (Everybody!)_ _  
_ _All you need is love, love_ _  
_ _Love is all you need_ _  
_ _Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Love is all you need (Love is all you need) Yee-hai! (Love is all you need)_ _  
_ _Love is all you need (Love is all you need)"_  
  
(All You Need Is Love by The Beatles! Obviously!)

Suddenly, there came a tumultuous 'CRAAAASH!'

The lights blew out with a resounding crack and tinkle of glass!

Demeter ran into the clearing, clutching Meritas and shaking with terror. “Macavity!!!!” She screamed. “He’s here!!!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to have to do this to you again guys! But...


	8. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * Contains graphic scenes of violence and a lot of gore! (Obviously! The clue is in the title!) So best read this AFTER you've had your tea!  
> Oh no! I added a bit more stuff! I don't know why but I keep coming up with all these random ideas. I wish they'd stop! Don't they know I have another story I'd like to get on with? Oh well, keep checking back, no doubt I'll have added some more next time you're here. Let us know what you think of the changes yeah?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christ! I hate this chapter!!!!

_“I can almost hear_  
_Your heart in the darkness_  
_How fast it is beating_  
_How close you are to me_  
_I can almost hear_  
_How densely you are breathing_  
_Out there in the darkness_  
_Listening for me_  
_I can almost sense_  
_Your skin on my fingers_  
_Tension and the fear_  
_Anticipating me_  
_I can almost see you_  
_Somewhere in the darkness_  
_Praying for advantage_  
_Clinging to a chance_  
_Justice never wavers_  
_It is my single purpose_  
_Relentless the pursuit_  
_I will find you where you hide_  
_Counting on your indecision_  
_Deciding when to strike_  
_Calculating movement_  
_The senses of the chase_  
_The game of chess begins_  
_The pieces moved in place_  
_Your advantage growing slimmer_  
_Your options running thin_  
_The hunt is what defines us_  
_Imminent defeat_  
_The back of your shirt soaking_  
_Fear all you can feel_  
_One of us the hunter_  
_One of us the prey_  
_One of us the victor_  
_One to walk away_  
_One who's left remaining_  
_One of us who stands_  
_One who lies defeated_  
_Beneath the other's hands_  
_When the dust is settled_  
_Only one of us will see_  
_Which of us was worthy_  
_Which of us was weak_  
_And when this fight is over_  
_Only one of us will say_  
_Which of us the victor_  
_And which of us the prey_  
_One of us the hunter_  
_One of us the prey_  
_One of us the victor_  
_One to walk away_  
_One who's left remaining_  
_One of us who stands_  
_One who lies defeated_  
_Beneath the other's hands_  
_When the dust is settled_  
_Only one of us will see_  
_Which of us was worthy_  
_Which of us was weak_  
_And when this fight is over_  
_Only one of us will say_  
_Which of us the victor_  
And which of us the prey.”

(Retaliate by VNV Nation)

 Munkustrap cursed as cries of alarm rang out in the frosty morning air.

"Quick! Everyone! Hide!" He shouted, "Mistoffelees! Alonzo! Take Old Deuteronomy to the Infirmary! The rest of my team, implement operation safeguard! And where the Hell is my brother?!!!”  
  
No one had any clue as to the whereabouts of Tugger, so therefore could not give him an answer. Instead his instruction was transcended by the thunder of feet, as panicked Jellicles scattered in all directions, disappearing into nooks and crannies, until only he and Jazzie remained within the clearing.

At first, it was eerily quiet. One could have heard a pin drop. Then an evil laugh echoed around the space, the owner of it clearly enjoying the atmosphere of terror it had created!

Munkustrap pushed the Snowshoe towards the infirmary. "Jazzie! Go with the others!" He commanded.  

She didn't move.  
  
“Please! I need you safe!” He urged her, his usually poised face wracked with worry.  
  
"No!” She responded. “I'm not leaving you!"

He couldn't get her to leave, no matter how he tried! Eventually, he cupped her face and fixed her with a stern look. "I'll be fine! Now, go! That's an order!"

She shook her head. "I said, I'm NOT leaving-!"  
  
They flinched as another fur raising laugh thundered through their ears and jangled their already fraught nerves! It sounded much closer! "Get behind me!" he ordered, pushing her, so that they stood back to back.  
  
He crouched down low and hissed over his shoulder, “He's here for YOU, Jazz! He won't stop until he gets what he wants!” He flexed his claws. “But, he'll have to get through ME first!”

“Is that so?” rasped a voice.

Dripping with malice, it spoke from the shadows, “It'll be entertaining to see what you come up with this year, Munkustrap!”  
  
The fur along Munkustrap’s back bristled!

Standing before them was a monstrous figure! Wild haired, ginger and white, the Bengcoon was more Maine Coon than Bengal, and possessed a pair of dark, amber eyes that flared with hatred! His filthy, matted coat was streaked with black mackerel stripes and his jagged, yellow teeth glinted in the cold light of the dawn. “Well, if it isn't Satan!” Munkustrap derided. “So thoughtful of you to drop by!”  
  
At being compared to a human entity, Macavity uttered a malevolent growl and spat on the floor! "I believe you have some... things... of mine, Little Brother," he said, in an accent that was surprisingly plummy. "Now. I've just come to get them back. If you hand them over without making a fuss, I promise, no one has to get hurt. At least, not much anyway."

Munkustrap kept Jazzie behind him and hissed in reply, “Walk under a bus!”  
  
Macavity chuckled, a dangerous sound without even a hint of mirth. "Going to be like that, is it? Very well.”  
  
Munkustrap heard the rattle of a tin can, and slowly turned... to see an army of hench cats standing behind them. His heart sank. They were surrounded!  
  
Macavity laughed mockingly. "Who wishes he could eat his words, now?”

“I meant what I said!” Munkustrap replied. “Make sure it's a moving bus, won't you!?”

Macavity's face hardened. “Grab the whore! Don't worry about Munkustrap. I will deal with him!”

Immediately, the mob started to close in!

“Bring it!” Munkustrap snarled and shoved Jazzie to the side! “RUN!!!” He bellowed, and ran at the aggressors, taking out the first two with a flying kick!

Pandemonium ensued, as Jellicles and villains burst out of junkpiles and began to attack one another!

Macavity hissed with frustration as he lost sight of Munkustrap and Jazzie in the chaos!

“Mansur, Goblyn, Grimmel, Siegel!” He yelled. “Go get the other three! Kill anyone who gets in the way!"

“Yes Sir!” they replied and ran off.

“Hooker! Find the Snowshoe!!!”

Hooker grinned, showing his broken teeth. “Yes Sir!”

Meanwhile the fighting carried on! Skimbleshanks, Alonzo, Plato and many other toms joined in the frey, biting and swiping at the invaders, even though they were way outnumbered! Nobody was going to take their precious Junkyard or their queens without payment in kind!

Munkustrap sidestepped an attacker, dislocated his shoulder, then cut off his agonized scream by smashing an elbow into the back of his neck! The cat was barely dead, before Munkustrap launched himself at six more! Cat after cat fell! He picked up another and threw him headfirst into a pile of bricks, then heard a scream that made his blood curdle!!! “Jazzie...!!!”

* * *

  
Four dark shapes stole their way through the yard, their footsteps unheard over the sounds of the melee.

“I-I don't like this!” one said nervously.

He got clouted by the figure next to him!

“Shut your cowardly trap, Goblyn!” It said. “The sooner we get those bitches, the sooner we can get back to the bar!”

“Never did decide who won that game of pool, did we, Grimmel?” piped up the third.

“No, Mansur!” growled the grey lykoi known as Grimmel. “You were too busy breaking the cue across Davy's arse!!!”

“That's cos he cheated!” Mansur argued.

“We all cheat! We're criminals, remember?!!!”

“Oh yeah….” said Mansur, with gormless realisation.

“Now shut it and help me find these Godforsaken queens!” Grimmel snapped.

“Where are they, Grim?”

“Boss said something about an infirmary…!”

“Where's that?”

“How the Hell should I know??? It's not like he gave me a map!”

“I’ve got an idea!” said the forth.

“Should we start running, Siegel?” Grimmel asked dryly.

“Why don't we split up?” he suggested.

“That's a terrible idea-!”

“Well, we're lost anyway-!”

“We're not lost-!”

“Might as well get more lost-!” CLUNK! Grimmel whacked the axe toting Ocicat across the back of the head with a piece of plastic pipe! “I said we're NOT lost! Idiot! I just don't know WHERE we are!”

“Eh-? Ain't that the same thing?” Siegel looked confused.

“I have another idea!” Grimmel announced. “Why don't we split up?”

Siegel nodded. “Yeah! Why don't we-? Hey! That was my idea-!”

“You and Mansur go that way!” Grimmel carried on. “Goblyn and I will go that way. And if none of us finds anything, we'll meet back here. Deal?”

“Deal!” they all said.

“And if you do get lost,” Grimmel added, “well… that's preferable to returning to the boss empty pawed.” He ran a claw across his throat. “Got it?”

“Got it!” The other three replied.

* * *

Jazzie tried to claw the Nebelung, aiming for his eyes, but his grip was like that of a vice! He simply put a paw around her throat and began to squeeze, laughing as she gasped and choked!

Suddenly a shadow dropped down, as silent as the night. It grabbed Hooker’s head and twisted it, snapping his neck! The permanently surprised Hooker fell dead at his feet! Crying with relief, Jazzie threw herself into Munkustrap’s arms!

“Are you all alright?” he asked her.

She nodded into his fur. Then looked over his shoulder, and screamed!!! Munkustrap pushed her out of the way just in time, as a large, black Chausie came hurtling towards them!

He collided with Munkustrap, sending them both crashing into a cacophony of old bicycle wheels, hubcaps and broken glass!

Tesslar struck the Bengcoon and busted his lip! He swiped a second time, but missed as Munkustrap jerked his head to the side, grabbed him and put his head through a trellis, then kicked him straight through it into some mud!

Snarling, Tesslar staggered to his feet and picked up an iron railing! Munkustrap wielded an old morris minor hubcap to intercept the deadly blows, then threw the jagged metal disk at the Chausie! It caught him in the side of the head, causing him to drop the pole onto his own foot! Munkustrap leapt forwards and kneed him in the groin! They grappled, slashed and tore at each other until Tesslar hurled Munkustrap across a rusty car bonnet and he rolled out of view!

Tesslar jumped onto the car, searching this way and that! “Where are you?!!!” he bawled.

“Here!!!” Munkustrap roared back, and flew at him from behind, knocking him off the car into a pile of scrap metal! Through some feat, he had Tesslar with a bicycle chain around his neck! Gritting his teeth, he pulled it tight! The assailant gasped! Eyes bulging, he frantically thrashed his limbs! Then, with a gargle, his body went limp.

Panting from exhaustion, Munkustrap threw the deceased Chausie to the ground, and turned to face another standing behind him.

Macavity slow clapped. “Well done, Munkustrap! Nice work, protecting your... tribe!”

He gestured to his left.

Munkustrap gasped!

Lying on the ground, his throat ripped apart, was Kaleidahan!

“Tut, tut, tut! Letting kittens fight? You really are an incompetent! Isn't it time you stepped aside? I could take all this off your paws, Munkustrap.”

Munkustrap’s eyes blazed with fury! His chest was heaving. He was plastered with blood, most of it belonging to other cats.

Flexing his blood flecked claws, he got ready for the final fight. “Which of us has had enough of living?!” He snarled.

“Looks like it's you!” Macavity hissed, and grasped his paw, accepting the challenge.

His claws sank into Munkustrap’s palm.

Munkustrap hissed and struck Macavity in the crook of his elbow, then kicked him in the stomach! Macavity responded by throwing Munkustrap into a pile of scaffolding poles and dusty window panes, then picked up the section of wrought iron railing that Tesslar had dropped. Munkustrap wielded a roof batten, catching every violent cut and thrust... until the wood split! He threw the splintered pieces at Macavity’s head, and then dived towards the larger feline! They grappled and wrestled, crashing through piles of boxes and rubber tyres, before Macavity belted him across the face with the iron bar and threw his dazed adversary to the ground, twisting his arm! There was a terrible cracking sound!

 

* * *

The sounds of battle could plainly be heard inside the Infirmary, where queens and kittens sheltered, clinging to their leader!

“Where's Kaleidahan?” Asked a young blue smoke Tonkinese, looking fearfully around. “Where's my brother???”

“I am sure he’s fine, Luna!” Old Deuteronomy reassured her. “Try not to worry. If he is with my son, no harm shall come to him! Munkustrap will do everything in his power to keep your brother safe. None are braver than he, you know. Did I forget to tell you about the time he fought off an entire pack of hounds in order to save a police dog?”

“No!?” The adolescents replied, looking intrigued.

“Of course! He's too modest to talk about it himself! But, no, these muts had it in for poor old Ronald. Munkustrap jumped into the thick of it and sent them all packing. Made a firm friend and ally to boot! Now, the moral of the story, my children, is that, to be brave does not mean one must intimidate others or create barriers. But build bridges wherever possible. That is what a good protector does.”  

“He rescued us from the pit of Hell! I believe he can keep us all safe!” said Norstara.

“There's bound to be casualties!” Jennyanydots warned. “I suggest we prepare for the worst. Sister, dear? Would you mind preparing the sutures and bandages? We're going to need a lot of them!”

“Of course, right away!” answered Jellylorum. “I'll need Jazzie to help with fluids and medication… come to think of it, where is Jazzie?”

Jennyanydots looked around. “Is she not here?”

Lucitana, Norstara and Hortenseya looked at each other, then conducted a frantic search. “She isn't in the basement!” said Lucitana.

“Or the kittens ward!” added Norstara.

“Oh God!” cried Hortenseya. “She's out there!!!”

She ran to the entrance before anyone could stop her! “Tensey, no!!!” cried Norstara, diving after her.

Hortenseya heaved open the wooden door and rushed down the tyre steps, with Norstara not far behind! They reached the bottom, and screamed as nets were thrown over them!

“Gotcha!” shouted one henchcat. “Siegel! Go get the other one!”

“Right on it, Grim!” The Ocicat smirked, brandishing his axe and his net, and started up the junk pile towards a terrified looking Lucitana!

She gasped and ran back towards the Infirmary! Reaching the entrance, she slammed it in the Ocicat’s face, but he simply smashed it to pieces and climbed in. “So this is the Infirmary, eh?” he said, with a sneer. “Lots of sick ones in here! Axel and I are going to have a lot of fun!”

He hefted the axe over one shoulder, the net over the other, and began to stalk down the corridor the way the Abyssinian had fled.

“Not so fast!” said a voice.

“Siegel looked wildly around. “Who said that?” he growled.

“I did!”

A not-very-tall black Angora appeared in front of him, his yellow jasper eyes ablaze!

The Ocicat almost collapsed in a fit of laughter! “You?!” he cried. “You're no bigger than a gnat! And I'll enjoy squashing you like one!”

He swung the axe, but the Angora vanished and he ended up burying the blade in the side of the wall! “Huh?”

Before he had a chance to do anything else, Mistoffelees reappeared. From his paws, tendrils of azure light snaked, grabbing Siegel around the neck and lifting him up! “Hey! What the-?!”

He struggled, but his paws and his axe passed straight through the light! It carried him out of the Infirmary, holding him suspended, while a second tendril shot out and grabbed the other henchcat! Both were left yowling and thrashing in midair! “Put us down, you pathetic little freak! Come and fight like a real tom!” yelled Grimmel.

Mistoffelees calmly lifted his chin. “Oh, I'll put you down. And I prefer the term, unique, myself!”

With a flick of his wrist, he sent the pair sailing out across London, to land... somewhere near Epping! With another flick, the nets and ropes disappeared, revealing two gasping, sobbing queens! He quickly jumped down to help them back to the Infirmary. “You ok, you two?” he asked.

They nodded, still shaken.

He put a paw around both their shoulders and guided them inside. “Come!” He said. “It wouldn't do to have our nurses hurt. The best thing we can do for our friend is prepare the emergency room!”

With one more wave of his paw, the pieces of broken door flew back together, knitting in place until the door was as good as new!  

 

* * *

Munkustrap cried out, blinded by pain! Macavity grinned, raised the bar, and struck him in the side of the chest, relishing the further cries of agony! He struck again, and again, and again, splattering his face with his brother’s blood… when someone suddenly struck him across the head with a brass candlestick!

Snarling, Jazzie went in for a second assault, but Macavity backhanded her across the face, knocking her to the floor!

Before he could finish her off, he was attacked by a second cat! A black and white Bicolour!

Hissing, Alonzo clawed him and leapt onto his back! Macavity pulled him over his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his neck! “Father!!!” Alonzo screamed, his strangled cries cut off as the fiend started to crush his windpipe!

Panting, Munkustrap struggled to his feet. Blood poured from his mouth, and from gashes across his body, but with a last ditch effort, he kicked Macavity's legs out from him! The pair wrestled on the ground! Macavity stabbed with his claws! Munkustrap slashed with his! Finally, Macavity's claws found Munkustrap’s throat. Munkustrap struggled, but to no avail! He felt along the ground, his fingers touching something jagged and wooden, just as Macavity began to press down!

“Game over, Protector!” he hissed.

“Not quite!” came the choked reply, and with one final roar, Munkustrap struck!

There was a single, agonized shriek! Macavity staggered backwards, blood pouring from his eye socket! With a snarl, Munkustrap started after him!

“Retreat!” screamed Macavity. “Retreat!!!”

All at once, cats were running. Macavity disappeared in a puff of smoke and any hench cats that remained were quickly finished off!

* * *

  
Two shapes continued to wander aimlessly around the Junkyard.

“I really don't like this!” said one.

“And for the hundredth time, Goblyn! Will you shut up!!!” snapped the other. “Let's try this way!”

“We've been this way, Mas!” The black lykoi whined. “I swear, we've passed this bronze Buddha five times now!”

The brown Manx put his paws on his hips and growled. “Well, you think of a better plan then, smarty pants!”

“Alright! Let's ask for directions!” Goblyn suggested.

“Like, ask who? Buddha here?!!!”

“No. That guy!”

Goblyn pointed to an alcove, where two shapes appeared to be rocking back and forth. He walked up to them. “Um. Excuse me?” he called.

The large charcoal Bengcoon paused and glanced over his shoulder.

“Oh, shit!” He muttered. “Thought it was my brother then!”

He turned around and gave the henchcat a flashy grin. “Greetings, my balding friend. Don't mind me, I was just talking to my… er... friend.”

“Right,” said Goblyn, awkwardly. “Well. I wondered if you could help me?”

“Sure I can! How may the Tugger be of assistance?”

“Errr… well… it's my friend here. He's… um… he's really sick!” He elbowed Mansur in the ribs.

The Manx glanced up. “Wha-? Oh yeah… er... *cough* *cough*”

Tugger tutted. “Sounds nasty, friend. Unfortunately, I'm not a doctor. What _you_ need is the Infirmary!”

“Can you tell us where it is?” Asked Goblyn, looking hopeful.

“Sure I can!”

There was a pause.

“Well, where is it, then?!” Goblyn demanded impatiently.

Tugger pointed. “Walk straight ahead, take a right, then a left, another left, walk straight on, and you're there! You can't miss it!”

“Ah, cheers pal!” said Goblyn, looking relieved. “You're a lifesaver!”

“No probs! Anytime!”

The henchcats sniggered as they raced off in the direction Tugger had told them to go.

Meanwhile, the Bengcoon turned back to his love interest: a young, golden Abyssinian. “Now, where were we?” he crooned. “Aaah... yes, right there! Haha…! You're a baaad girl...! Say? What was your name again-?”

They were interrupted by a loud crash! This was followed by a series of echoing screams and then… silence.

“Hmmm,” said Tugger, thoughtfully. “May have forgotten to warn those two henchcats about the broken manhole cover…” He shrugged. “Ah well!”

* * *

  
Meanwhile, Mistoffelees looked out from the entrance to the Infirmary, a troubled expression on his face. He was joined by the witches twins.

“The fighting has stopped!” he said quietly.

The twins closed their eyes. “Macavity is defeated,” they chanted. “But tragedy has befallen us! You are greatly needed in the clearing! We will inform the nurses to be on standby!”

* * *

  
Battered and bloodied, the silver Bengcoon stumbled through the wreckage, searching. Dead and injured cats littered the ground. Could one of them be...? “Jazzie?!” he whispered.

He couldn't see her! Could barely see anything! Nor smell anything other than the pungent, metallic odour that clung to his nostrils.

He clutched at his ribs, knowing they were broken. Unable to take another step, he fell to his knees...

* * *

It began to rain. Fine drops pattered the ground and other surfaces, dripping onto Jazzie's face. Her eyes flickered open.

Grimacing, she tentatively felt the painful lump on the side of her head, and sat up, trying to remember what had happened.

She was surrounded by a horrific scene. An ocean of blood and bodies wherever she looked! She must have looked like one herself!

Not far from her, she could see the sad sight of Kaleidahan. The young Tonkinese with the colourful character, reduced to a bloody mess.

Munkustrap!

Staggering to her feet, she began to search, her heart hammering! Where WAS he???

“Munkustrap?” She called. “Munkustrap?!!!”

“Here, lass!”

It was Skimbleshanks! He and several others were surrounding something lying on the ground.

She charged over, pushing them out of the way! Then dropped to her knees! She clutched at his fur, feeling it horribly matted and damp! “Munkustrap?! Munkustrap!!! Can you hear me? Speak to me!” She begged.

She took the agonized grunt as a sign and slipped a paw into his, feeling him grip it as though his life depended on it!

"It's alright! I'm here…!" She said.  
  
"Jazz…?" He gasped. “You're alive?!”  
  
"Yes, I'm… fine! I don't think you are, though!”

“... I don't think I am... either… I can't... breathe!”

“Then don't try to talk, dammit! Save your strength-!”

He grimaced, gripping her paw harder than ever!  
  
"You're in pain!" She cried. "Where does it hurt?! Tell me!"  
  
"Everywhere..." he responded, his breaths coming short and fast.

She placed a paw over the gash on his chest, one of the many she could see, trying to stem the bleeding.

“Here!” said Skimbal. “Use this!” He handed her his Fairisle waistcoat.

“Thank you!” She said, and pressed it into the wound, noticing how shallow his breaths were becoming. She was losing him!  
  
"No!” She wept. “Don't fade away on me!!! You must fight this! Fight it!!!"  
  
"I can't…” came a faint whisper. “I love you... Jazz… so you know… sorry about... all this..."  
  
She smiled through tears and caressed his blood smeared cheek. "I love you too…” she sobbed. “So, so much...! Don't leave me...!!! Munkustrap?! Stay with me...!!!"

But his face had frozen. He was no longer breathing!

She screamed. “Munkustrap!!! Nooo!!!”

* * *

 _“Cover my eyes_  
_Cover my ears_  
_Tell me these words are a lie_  
_It can't be true_  
_That I'm losing you_  
_The sun cannot fall from the sky_  
_Can you hear heaven cry_  
_The tears of an angel_  
_The tears of an angel_  
_The tears of an angel_  
_The tears of an angel_  
_Stop every clock_  
_The stars are in shock_  
_The river would run to the sea_  
_I won't let you fly_  
_I won't say goodbye_  
_I won't let you slip away from me_  
_Can you hear heaven cry_  
_The tears of an angel_  
_The tears of an angel_  
_The tears of an angel_  
_The tears of an angel_  
_So hold on_  
_Be strong_  
_Everyday hope will grow_  
_I'm here, don't you fear_  
_My love, don't let go_  
_(Oh)_  
_Don't let go_  
_(Oh)_  
_Don't let go_  
_(Oh)_  
_Cover my eyes_  
_Cover my ears_  
Tell me these words are a lie!”

(Tears of Angel by Nightcore)

The scene dissolved in front of her eyes. All at once, she was no longer in the clearing. Munkustrap lay before her. There were several injured patients lying next to him.

Alarms were sounding. Machines were beeping. Nurses were charging to and fro, carrying bags of blood and sheets of gauze! It was chaotic!

“Jazzie!”

Dressed in blood- stained scrubs, Hortenseya rushed over. “Thank goodness you're safe!” She cried.

Jazzie looked confused. “How-?”

“Mistoffelees conjured everyone here!” The Korat explained.

Jazzie looked and saw the black Angora, also dressed in a scrubs outfit, holding his father's paw.

“We're assessing Munkustrap right how,” Hortenseya continued. “He's in a bad way! What happened out there?!”

“He was hit...” said Jazzie, trying to remember. “Repeatedly.”

“What with?” Hortenseya pressed. “Something solid?”

Jazzie nodded. “Yes. A metal railing. One of those wrought iron ones.”

Hortenseya’s face registered deep concern. “Bast! In that case we have to get him to CT as soon as possible. It's highly likely he has internal injuries, judging by his stats…!”

“Can't Mistoffelees do anything?” asked Jazzie. “If he conjured us here…?”

Hortenseya shook her head. “He told me his powers do not extend to healing… or killing for that matter. I don't know why... but you must get washed! Be back here in one minute, ok! Less if you can manage it!”

She pushed Jazzie in the direction of the bathrooms.

* * *

 

Jazzie returned less than a minute later, dressed and ready for the carnage that lay in front of her.

Lucitana had already inserted a tube into Munkustrap’s airway and was squeezing the bag, getting air to his lungs.

“Hello? Munkustrap? Can you hear me?” Hortenseya called.

Nothing.

She pinched his ear and tried again.

“No response to vocal or pain stimuli!” She announced.

She shone a light into each of Munkustrap’s eyes.

“Pupils are reacting to light. No sign of head injury. Obvious facial traumer, suspected broken cheekbone and damage to left eye. Gums are pale. What's his expansion like?”

Jazzie placed two paws on Munkustrap’s chest. “Right side of the chest isn't really moving, it's hyperexpanded,” she answered. “There is also blood on my paws.”

“His pulse?”

“Pulse is two seventy,” said Norstara. “Blood pressure is ninety over fifty, O2 saturation is eightyeight to ninety percent.”

“Shit!” cried Hortenseya. “We have a sinus tachycardia! Patient is in shock! Get ready to resuscitate! Check for obvious injuries! External bleeding! Anything!”

“He was bleeding profusely when I found him,” said Jazzie. “I staunched the flow from the deepest wound as best I could.”

“There's a lot of blood on the table,” added Jellylorum. “Currently dealing with at least five lacerations on the chest and shoulders. One extends into the muscle. Three more on the back.”

“We need to get him hooked up to a monitor, pronto!” said Hortenseya. “Jazzie. Examine his chest!”

“Performing percussion,” Jazzie responded, and started to tap on opposing sides of Munkustrap’s chest, listening closely to the sounds made. “Resonant, hyperresonant, resonant…” The dull sound came back at her again! “Abnormal sound on left side of the chest!” She announced.

She double checked using a stethoscope.

“The whole of the left side is absent of breathing sounds. Heart rate is still abnormally fast.”

“Likely causes?” Asked Hortenseya.

“I can see at least one obvious rib fracture. Plus a clavicle fracture.”

“Anywhere else?”

Jazzie placed a paw on Munkustrap’s abdomen and felt down each arm and leg. “No sign of abdominal injuries. Pelvis is normal. No sign of any breaks in the limbs. One deep cut to the right palm, another laceration on the forearm.”

“Ok,” said Hortenseya. “We need an urgent x-ray and ultrasound down here! Patient's condition is unstable. We're looking at a suspected tension pneumothorax and internal bleeding. Lucitana reported blood in the mouth. Norstara! Get a peripheral intravenous catheter into each of his arms. Large bore if you can. Use one for saline, the other for blood. When you've done that, he'll need a blood transfusion!”

“Right on it, Tense!” said Norstara.

Slipping on a clean pair of latex gloves, she felt Munkustrap’s arms, searching for veins. “I'm struggling to find any!” she said. “Does anyone know if he has a blood disorder, or a history of drug abuse? That's where I've seen this kind of thing.”

Jennyanydots consulted the notes. “He was treated for heroin misuse back in 1975,” she read.

“In that case, try using a smaller needle,” said Hortenseya.

Finally, after a fair bit of tapping, the application of hot, moist towels and a few dabs of nitroglycerin, Norstara finally got the needles inserted into Munkustrap’s forearms. “He is receiving twenty grams of saline,” she said. “I've just sent the bloods off.”

By the time Mistoffelees raced up with the ultrasound and x-ray equipment, Munkustrap had been hooked up to an Electrocardiogram and monitor.

But before they could carry out further investigations, the monitor suddenly started to sound an alarm.

“BP is dropping-!” cried Norstara.

Then it flatlined, letting out a single, dull note-!

“He's arrested!” Hortenseya cried. “Begin CPR! Jazzie, you do the chest compressions-!”

"Hey! Can someone tell me what the HECK is going on!!!"

Rum Tum Tugger tried to get to Munkustrap, but was held back by Jennyanydots!

“Tugger! Don't go over there!” She cried, but he barged passed her anyway and threw open the curtain!

“Dear... God!” He choked, and fainted dead!

“Someone get him out of here!” called Jenny.

“Sure,” said Mistoffelees.

With a click of his fingers, Tugger sailed into waiting area and was dropped onto some cushions!

The Jellicles now had a clear view of what was happening. They stood together in grim silence, watching the nurses as they battled to save their Protector.

Absentmindedly bouncing her fractious kitten, Demeter leaned against her cousin. “This is all my fault!” She whispered.

Bombalurina put an arm around her. “No...” she said. “Of course it's not!”

She swallowed and stared, ashen faced, watching Jazzie as she performed chest compressions on the lifeless Bengcoon.

In the bed next to him, Alonzo could only look on. He bit his lip when the defibrillator was deployed, the sight of his father being lifted up by the shock bringing bitter tears to his eyes.

It was five minutes into CPR, when Norstara rushed over with a bag of blood. “Results have come back,” she said, as she hung up the bag and attached it to the plug in Munkustrap’s arm. “He's type A. We have a shortage. This was all I could find-!”

“He can have mine!” Rum Tum Tugger suddenly announced, surprising everyone. He was standing at the curtain, looking haggard!

“That blood type thingamy you just mentioned?” he explained. “He shares it with me.”

How he knew this, no one could say. But that wasn't important. “Thank you, Tugger,” said Hortenseya gratefully. “Any donation would be much appreciated. When Noss has finished, I want you to go with her.”

“Bombalurina, could you go too?” She asked, noticing the Somali loitering nearby. “Just in case he faints!” She added in a whisper.

While waiting, Tugger paced up and down, digging his claws into his gloved palms. Then he turned to look at Munkustrap. “Come on, mate!” He pleaded. “Don't die on us! It ain't like you to give up! Don't let that Bastard win!”

He felt a paw on his arm. It was Norstara. “Try not to worry,” she said.

“Try not to worry?!” He looked at her incredulously. “My bro’s lying there half dead and you're telling me not to worry??!”

“All I'm saying is, it won't help the situation!” Norstara pressed on. “Now, come this way please. He needs your blood!”

Flashing one last glance at his brother, Tugger reluctantly went with her and Bombi. “Don't die while I'm gone!” He growled.

* * *

 

Eighteen, heartstopping minutes went by. Jazzie's arms began to ache. Everything was happening in slow motion.

Then Hortenseya made a chilling announcement. "This is the eighth shock I’m about to deliver,” she said, her voice sounding dead. “We are nearing the twenty minute cut off point; whereby, even if we were to get his heart started, it is unlikely he would make a full recovery. Therefore, if his heart fails to respond this time, I think it would be kinder if we did not try for a ninth shock. Are we all in agreement?"  
  
"Mhm," came the reluctant replies.

Jazzie didn't answer.

Hortenseya looked at her. “Jazz?” She asked gently.

Jazzie bit her lip, and kept on pumping her lover's chest. He wouldn't die!!!  
  
"Ok…” Hortenseya took a deep breath, and gave the final order, “Shocking now! EVERYONE, CLEAR!"

 

* * *

  
The Korat placed her stethoscope onto Munkustrap's chest. She listened intently for over two minutes... then heaved a heavy sigh.  
  
The breath caught in Jazzie's throat. “No…!”

"Couldn't we try for one more...?!" Lucitana pleaded.

Hortenseya shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry,” she said quietly. “He's gone..."

There was a long, shocked silence, permeated only by the scream of the monitor, which served as constant, and now unhelpful reminder, that the unthinkable had happened!

Jazzie stared at Munkustrap in disbelief! “He can't be…!” she wailed. “He CAN'T be!!!”

Norstara and Lucitana tried to console her, but it did little good!

Hortenseya gently closed Munkustrap's eyes, on the verge of tears. "We did anything we could-" she began.  
  
"We didn't do enough!!!" Jazzie screamed, turning away.

She stared at the ceiling, willing it to come crashing down on her, until her eyes began to sting. She wanted to cry, but the tears refused to come.

Slowly, she turned back to gaze at the tom who had almost been hers. She stroked his face, now peaceful and free from pain. "I failed you, my love...” She whispered. “I failed you… I'm sorry… I’m s-so s-sorry…!"

Her anguished cries rang out in the corridors and echoed through the wards, leaving the listeners in no doubt as to what had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you crying yet? I'm so upset I can't even see to type! Oh my God, Munkus! What are are you trying to do to us!?


	9. Fight For Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * Moooore violence! Plus some scenes that some people may find a bit scary. I felt scared!  
> Oh. And er. If you're eating your tea, probably best to read this AFTER you've finished. Just saying!  
> PS. I hope my accents don't offend anyone! Sorry if they do!

“A great loss had befallen us,” lamented Old Deuteronomy, his voice thick with grief. “Our beloved Protector… my son... is dead!”  
  
Everyone was in shock!  
  
How could their Protector be dead!? Their rock! Their caretaker! Their storyteller!!! Gone???!  
  
Tugger sat well away from the others. His eyes were dead, as though a bomb had gone off inside him and obliterated everything.  
  
Bombalurina stumbled over to Munkustrap’s bedside. She grabbed his paw, feeling it ice cold in hers. "Tell me this isn't happening!” She whispered. “Munkustrap! You can't die-!!!”  
  
In despair, she searched his face, but there was nothing there, no light of life in those handsome features. A sob caught in her throat, and she felt tears sliding down her face, when suddenly, a shadow fell across the bed.  
  
She looked up, and saw the black Angora, his paws glowing electric blue! "Mistoffelees? What are you doing?!" She croaked.  
  
His eyes flashed, as blue as his paws! "I don't know, but probably best you stand aside," he replied, his voice stoic.  
  
She quickly did as she was told, just as Lucitana appeared, carrying a large linen cloth. "What’s going on?!" She cried, then spotted Misto's glowing paws and quickly put two and two together!  
  
“Misto! Your pa is dead!” She tried to reason. “I'm sorry, but there's no coming back from that!”  
  
"I have to try!!!" Mistoffelees muttered and placed his crackling paws onto Munkustrap's chest!  
  
Almost at once, electricity exploded from them! And both he and his father were enveloped in a light so bright that the onlookers had to shield their eyes! Mistoffelees grimaced and his whole body shook, as he fought to keep his paws in place! Then there was an almighty ‘ BANG!'  He was thrown across the room!  
  
"Misto!!!" Hortenseya cried.  
  
She ran to where he lay, sprawled unconscious on the floor. She checked his pulse. "He's ok!" She said, sounding relieved. "Jenny? Help me get him to a bed. Quickly!"  
  
But while everyone fussed over the Magician, something suddenly caught Lucitana's attention. She took a closer look… and almost hyperventilated! "I-I… don't believe it!" She stammered, dropping the sheet. "Jazzie…!” She called frantically. “Jazzie!!!"  
  
Norstara hurried over. "What is it?" She asked.  
  
With a shaking paw, Lucitana pointed. Norstara looked at what she was pointing at... and screamed!!!  
  
"What the whiskers?!” She exclaimed. “Jazzie! You need to get in here! You have to see this!!!"  
  
"See what?" Jazzie sighed. She dragged herself into the cubicle, her expression listless and eyes red from crying.  
  
"It appears we're… back online!" Said Lucitana, her brow creasing in utter bewilderment.  
  
Jazzie looked at the monitor. Her eyes widened, and all of sudden, she seemed to be having trouble breathing!  
  
"What…??? But-but… that's impossible!" She gasped.  
  
She looked again. Sure enough, the monitor was beeping rhythmically, with the green line clearly tracing out the steady pulse of a normal, healthy heartbeat. She was baffled! "What does this mean?!" She tremored.  
  
"It means we could still save him!"  
  
The Korat marched over, armed with her stethoscope, and placed it onto Munkustrap's chest. She had a listen, checked her pocket watch, and nodded. "Nothing wrong with the machine," she confirmed. "Heart rate is one hundred and forty bpm. Welcome back, Munkustrap!”  
  
She handed the instrument over to Jazzie, so she could have a listen for herself. Jazzie's eyes widened even further, and everyone immediately spurred into action!  
  
Hortenseya ordered an immediate x-ray be carried out. This was followed by an ultrasound, then a CT. It didn't take long for the results to come back.  
  
“The scans have revealed fractures to the second, third and forth ribs, a fracture to the clavicle shaft and a dislocated shoulder- all on the left side,” Jazzie announced. “The third rib has punctured the lung, which has, in turn, collapsed. Air and fluid leaking is now into the chest cavity, and this is putting enormous strain on his heart.”  
  
"In that case, you need to perform an emergency thoracostomy, right away," Hortenseya instructed.  
  
Brandishing a Kelly clamp and scalpel, the Snowshoe was immediately onto it! She was able to make a hole in the side of Munkustrap's chest, locate the pneumothorax with her finger and insert a tube. Shortly thereafter, watery, red liquid began to drain out into a bag.  
  
“Did the CT reveal anything else?” Hortenseya asked Mistoffelees.  
  
The magician shook his head. “The scans revealed no further injuries.”  
  
"He is out of immediate danger!" Jazzie almost cried, announcing the news to the tribe. "Merci Dieu! Il est vivant! Mon ange est vivant!!!"

* * *

  
  
She and her fellow nurses allowed themselves a small breather after their ordeal.  
  
They realised they'd been holding their breaths for almost the entire time, not to mention the fact that they all looked completely wrecked! Their fur was dishevelled and smeared with blood, their once spotless aprons reduced to rags.  
  
With glum faces matching hers, Jazzie gently took hold of a few paws.  
  
The Jellicles once again stood together, staring blankly and feeling completely drained, but finding strength within each other. Out of the corner of her eye, Jazzie noticed Hortenseya comforting Mistoffelees, holding the smaller tom to her, as he sobbed quietly into her shoulder. "I cannot explain how Mistoffelees was able to bring Our Protector back from the dead," she said. "My mind cannot comprehend it. But I do know that we must stay strong for him. As long as he is fighting, we will not let him down a second time."

* * *

 

Later that morning, the team prepared for the operation.  
  
Paws, arms and instruments were disinfected, checked, and then checked again. Munkustrap's wounds were cleaned, stitched, and dressed.  
  
"We shall have to anaesthetize him," Jazzie explained to her colleagues. "The last thing we want is for him to wake up in the middle of the operation. Nos? I want you monitoring his vitals at all times. Jenny? I need you ready with the barbiturates. Lucitana? I am putting you in charge of breathing. Tensey and Jelly? You will assist me. D'accord? Bien."  
  
A cocktail of drugs was pumped directly into his arm. Then, using a scalpel, Jazzie made a small incision, delicately cutting through layers of skin and tissue, before pulling them back using retractors. "Forceps!" she demanded, and Hortenseya obediently passed them to her.  
  
She used them to keep the gap open, exposing the fractures, while Jellylorum used a small tube to suck away the blood.  
  
Jazzie then used a pair of tweezers to work the tiny shard of offending bone out of the lung, gently easing it out and placing it into a bowl held by Norstara, whilst at the same time, using her finger to plug the hole in the lung. The shard really was tiny, no bigger a centimetre in length, with a quarter of that making up its width. But it was as sharp as a razor’s edge! "Splint!" She requested.  
  
The titanium splint was passed to her. Using a surgical screwdriver, she set and bolted the rib back together, using small titanium screws to keep it in place. “The other two are hairline fractures. They should heal up by themselves,” she said.  
  
When she had completed the task, she moved onto the collarbone, setting and holding it in place with a second titanium splint.  
  
"That’s it! All fixed!" she announced, almost two hours later.  
  
She was feeling exhausted, but satisfied with her work. "I would like to see Macavity try to break these bones!" She said, injecting some false cheer into her voice.  
  
“We'll transfer him to the Intensive Care Unit,” said Hortenseya, removing her gloves. “Everything that can be done to save our Protector's life, has been. It's all up to him now.”

* * *

  
"What news of his condition?" asked Old Deuteronomy, when Jazzie addressed the Jellicles later that evening. They were all standing in the waiting room, ready and waiting for what she had to say.  
  
The Snowshoe stifled a yawn. She was feeling drained, but tried to keep her brave face stitched on, even though she could feel it fraying around the edges. She needed to keep it together! "He is in a critical, but stable condition-" she began.  
  
"What does that even mean?" Said Rum Tum Tugger. "Is he gonna be alright, or ain't he?"  
  
His face was deeply lined with concern, and for once, seemed to understand the graveness of the situation. There were no laughs now. No jokes. “It's a shame the same can't be said for the brash comments!” Jazzie thought grudgingly.  
  
"I'm afraid I cannot answer that at this stage," she said, keeping her voice even. "But, what I can tell you, is that he is extremely poorly. We are doing everything we can to make him better, and I promise to tell you more, when I know more-"  
  
Bombalurina cut in. "He was dead...!"  
  
She was standing between Rum Tum Tugger and a drawn faced Demeter, holding Demeter’s paw with one of her’s, and nervously puffing a catnip cigarette with the other.  
  
Meritas was being cared for by his Grandmother, who had, to everyone's relief, managed to rock the fraught kitten to sleep.  
  
She glared at her niece! “Bombalurina!” She whispered severely, so as not to wake the kitten. “We do not allow those things in here!!!”  
  
Scowling, the ever dutiful Skimbleshanks stepped forward and whipped the offending item out of Bombalurina's cigarette holder, crushing it in his paw, before hurrying away to dispose of it safely!  
  
"He was clinically dead for almost twenty minutes," Jazzie explained, when all the cats had ceased their annoyed tutting. "There may be complications because of that-"  
  
"What complications?" Tugger demanded.  
  
"Er... well," Jazzie continued with as much fortitude as she could muster. "Like I said, I will tell you if anything else occurs. At this stage, I have no way of knowing the extent of the damage-"  
  
"Damage to what!?" Right! That was IT!!!  
  
"His brain, Tugger!" She blurted out. "When a heart stops, it can cause parts of the brain to die. How much depends on how long the heart stops for! And I'm afraid it was a long time that Munkustrap's heart was not beating-!"  
  
"So, what are you saying?" He interrupted again. "That I'm gonna have a vegetable for a brother?! That he won't be able to protect us anymore?! You know he'd rather die than suffer that indignity, right!?"  
  
She sighed exasperatedly and pinched the bridge of her nose; though it did little to ease her throbbing head. She badly needed rescuing. "Does anyone have anything else they'd like to add?" She asked in a pained voice.  
  
Having just returned, The marmalade Maine Coon stepped forward and said grimly, "Aye lass."  
  
Then he addressed the other cats in his thick Scottish burr, “Firstly, ah just want to say what a grand job you and your colleagues are doin. The circumstances have been challenging, and yet you managed, somehow, to stay professional and organised. Ah commend ye’all on yeh aptitude an’ bravery!”  
  
Jazzie swallowed and nodded. “Thank you, Skimbal. Those words… I can't tell you how good it is to hear them.”  
  
He smiled kindly. “What wi’all the professional care he's gettin’, ahm not worried aboot me cousin. He's a fighter, through and through. Any lesser cat would be dead as a rotten cedar after the kind of injuries he’s sustained. He'll be back on es feet en noo tiyeem, or ahm not tha railway cat!”     
  
"He gave his life to save us!" sniffed Bombalurina, before glaring at the others! "Yeah! I know that's what Protectors are supposed to do! Doesn't mean I have to like it though, does it!?"  
  
"The lad's a hero!" Skimbleshanks agreed.  
  
"We mustn't forget Alonzo," Old Deuteronomy reminded them, and placed a large paw onto his grandson's head. "You stepped up and showed courage," he told him. "And because you did, your father is still alive."  
  
"Yeah! But only just!" Alonzo replied, morosely.  
  
"We're proud of ye, laddie!" Said Skimbleshanks, patting him on the back.  
  
"Hey, wait! Let's not disrespect this dude!" Yelled Tugger, holding up Misto's paw. "You performed some pretty kick-ass magic back there, Neph!"  
  
Mistoffelees shrugged when everyone turned to him. "I don't really know what I did, or how I did it," he admitted. "I just had this weird urge. It was like my paws weren't my own! I only hope it was enough..."  
  
He trailed off and bowed his head, while his sister gave him a sympathetic nuzzle, though it was more for her own comfort than his.  
  
"Any other questions?" Asked Jazzie.  
  
"Yeah!" said Tugger. "Can I see him?"  
  
"Yes, alright," Jazzie relented. "But only three at a time, and ONLY if you promise not to freak out, Tugger!"

* * *

  
She led Old Deuteronomy, Tugger and Bombalurina into a small, white room, where bleeping machines surrounded a hospital bed. In it lay a body, covered with tubes and wires, that had, less than a day ago, been their mighty Protector.  
  
For awhile, nobody said anything. They just stared... stunned. But in the end, Rum Tum Tugger (who seemed to have a slight aversion to silence!) just had to say something. Anything! "Say? What's with all the wires and shit?!" He demanded.  
  
"They’re keeping him alive," Jazzie replied.  
  
Tugger slowly approached the bed, as though approaching a beehive. "Can I touch him?" he asked, without looking at her.  
  
"Go ahead," she said. "But be careful. Do not touch any of the tubes or wires, comprenez vous?"  
  
He nodded and gently placed a paw onto Munkustrap's shoulder… "Shiiiit!” He exclaimed.  
  
"He lost a lot of blood," Jazzie explained. "We haven't had a chance to clean him up, but we will at some point. And I have to say, Tugger, the blood you donated probably saved his life.”  
  
“Of course!” Tugger replied with a nonchalant shrug. “What are brothers for? He'd have done the same for me!”  
  
Bombalurina reached out to squeeze Munkustrap's paw, and was shocked at how cold it felt! "I can't bare to see him like this," she whispered, wiping tears from her face. She gave a half-hearted chuckle, "He’d be absolutely mortified if he knew how much grief he was causing...!" Her voice trailed away.  
  
"Why won't he wake up?" she asked, turning to look at Jazzie.  
  
"He’s in a coma," said the snowshoe quietly. "We're hoping he'll wake up soon, but I cannot say when that will be, or even if... I'm sorry!" Her voice broke.  
  
"Fifteen."  
  
They all looked round at Old Deuteronomy, who had been quiet up until then. He placed a paw onto his son's head.  
  
"Fifteen?" Jazzie repeated.  
  
"Over the many years I have been alive, I have lost a total of fourteen sons, and one daughter," he said solemnly. "All Protectors. And I feel the loss of every single one… I cannot lose another!"  
  
"Don't worry, Old Pop!" Said Tugger. "He'll pull through! Like Train Guy said, he's a fighter!"  
  
"I wish I shared your confidence," said Bombalurina, shaking her head. "He looks barely alive to me. That's not our Munkustrap lying there."

* * *

Munkustrap hissed with pain as the mechanical arm slammed him into the ground! The katana slipped from his grasp, while he struggled and squirmed, desperately trying to prize it off himself! Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the cloaked figure off in the distance. Its blade glinted in the eerie mist, as though excited about the prospect of blood!

  
Feeling a cold surge of panic, he began to twist and writhe, but it was no use! With a mechanical whine, the Thing pressed down, aiming to obliterate him like an insect! He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out!  
  
The world around him began to seep into blackness, when his paw suddenly brushed against something. The leather cord of his katana!  
  
He stretched out… but missed!  
  
Setting his jaw, he stretched further, fingers scrabbling until finally, he snatched up the cord and dragged the sword towards him! Once he had the hilt tightly in his grasp, he swung the blade, keenly slicing through the steel trap and shoving the detached limb aside. Then he rolled to his feet, clutching his ribs!  
  
The Thing bellowed its fury, steam billowing from its jagged, metal jaws as it swung the axe!  
  
Munkustrap leapt clear, somersaulting over the tidal wave of snow, created as the axe sliced through the ground, and landed on the armoured limb! As nimble as any pine marten, he scaled the arm, scrambled onto its shoulders, then climbed the head, with the sound of his own claws squeaking against the metal setting his teeth on edge!  
  
With another bellow of rage, The Thing tossed like a giant trying to rid itself of a fly, with Munkustrap having to cling on for dear life so as not to be dislodged, for it was a long way down should he fall! He knew he couldn't cling on forever though. He would have to bite the bullet, or risk dying like the aforementioned insect! So he pulled himself to the top and teeteringly, stood up. Then he raised the katana, and stabbed downwards, burying the blade in the head, right to the hilt!  
  
What came next was a deafening shriek!  
  
The monster began to stagger, then it lurched violently, before collapsing in on itself, sending up clouds of powdery snow, until it was nothing more than a pile of rubble!  
  
The dust settled.  
  
With a roar, Munkustrap shoved a large sheet of metal off himself, then struggled out from under it. Looking around, he next located the katana, and tugged it out of the disembodied head, safely sheathing in its saya.  
  
Something made him look up.  
  
With a gasp, he dived out of the way- the curved blade slicing through the snow with a reverberating _‘shiiiiihnnnnnng!'_  
  
Not fancying waiting around for the deadly Reaper to take another pot shot, he ran for it! But as he fled, cracks began to appear in the ground by his feet. These quickly opened up into fissures, forcing him to jump from one patch of uneven ground to another! And to make matters worse, skeletal paws started reaching up out of the cracks, trying to snatch at his ankles!  
  
With a startled yowl, he fell face first, hitting the ground with thud!  
  
Spitting out snow, he twisted around, seeing that one of the paws had hold of his tail, and was dragging him backwards towards the sink hole! Gritting his teeth, he dug his claws into the snow to stop himself sliding any further, but could find nothing to grip onto! Dangerously close to the edge, he struck with the katana, severing the mangled mitt in two, then scrambled to his feet and ran on, not daring to look back!  
  
The snow deepened. The wind began to bite.  
  
He sheathed the sword and held himself against it; for even with his long, double coat, it felt as though his soul was freezing up inside! His legs too, were starting to ache. Panting heavily, his breath escaped in great clouds, but still he struggled on.  
  
"Got to keep going," he thought. "By Everlasting Cat, I've got to- "YIKES!"  
  
He yelped as the ground fell away, toppling backwards just in time to stop himself from plummeting into an endless abyss!  
  
“Damn, I hate this place!” He griped, shielding his eyes to peer through the mist. A massive wall of water thundered down the side of a gorge, towards an unseen body far below.  
  
His heart sank.  
  
For the ravine stretched into the distance as far as the eye could see... in BOTH directions! He was trapped!  
  
And right on cue, a sinister laugh echoed around him, chillingly close!  
  
Slowly, he turned, and saw the Reaper stalking towards him, it's ragged cloak trailing in the snow!  
  
_"Now you are mine!"_ came its ashen voice. _"You cannot run from me. Give up! Your Earthly body is no more!"_  
  
Munkustrap bared his teeth! “Go back to Hell and burn!” he hissed, then turned back to take a quick peek over the edge, and uttered a dispirited groan!

He couldn't even see the bottom!  
  
"Well... here goes!"  
  
He braced himself... and jumped!

The wind tore through his fur! The mist closed in around him. Pretty soon, he lost all sense of orientation, unable to tell which way was up or down!

  
Instinctively, he spread his arms to try to slow his descent (not that this was very effective!)  
  
Then the mist parted. And that was when he saw it! A wall of black, hurtling towards him at breakneck speed! He streamlined his body as best he could, tucking his chin in, and hit the surface with the force of a speeding car! Cutting through the water, he pulled himself back up to the surface… which seemed perishingly far away! He pressed his lips together, furiously resisting the urge to suck in a lungful of water, and finally broke the surface with a gasp!  
  
Treading water, he saw that he was in the middle of a wide river, with churning rapids on one side, and a sheer cliff face on the other, complete with jagged rocks! With nowhere to climb out, he swam with the current, thanking the powers that be that he was a naturally strong swimmer, who actually enjoyed taking a dip when the time was right. However, now was not one of those times! If he had thought the air was cold, the water was deathly so! His paws quickly became so numb that he barely feel them!  
  
After swimming for some time, the river widened out into a lake. One so vast, that he couldn't even see the shoreline! He stopped swimming and strained his eyes, searching for any sign of land, and his heart sank when he spotted a glimmer of light in the distance. It was so far away, he would surely drown before he even got near it! And that wasn't the only issue! Something unexpectedly brushed against his foot, making him jump and splash in panic! What the Hell was that!?  
  
Feeling a profound sense of dread, he took a deep breath, and lowered his face into the water. Squinting into the depths, he spotted something moving far below... but couldn't quite make out what it was!  
  
Bubbles rose up to meet him, bringing with them a bone chilling sound! A haunting cry, like wind in a damp cave! It sent shivers up his already trembling spine! For whatever was making that sound, its intentions couldn't possibly be friendly!  
  
And that was when he saw it!  
  
The thing that was drifting up towards him made his blood freeze!  
  
It was a cat. Or at least, it had been. Once. Now all that was left of it was a mummified shell, completely without fur, muscle or ears- just a wrinkled bag of bones with black, sightless eyes, and a gaping, screaming maw!  
  
And if that wasn't bad enough, Munkustrap realised it wasn't the only one!!! He was surrounded by them, making escape impossible!  
  
There was only one thing left to do.  
  
He felt for the katana, whipping it out of its scabbard; but found it to be unyielding in the water, making it hard for him to stay afloat! Regardless, he stabbed one of the Things through its throat… but the katana got stuck!  
  
Cursing, he was forced to let go, and swiped at them with his claws instead- taking off a head here, removing a jaw there, kicking out and smashing limbs!  
  
But they kept on coming! He would dispatch one, only to met with two more, then three more, then four! Becoming exhausted, he gasped for air and struggled to stay afloat, determined to fight till the end!  
  
As he slipped under the water for the last time, he felt them grab him and start to pull him down! With the last of the air in his lungs, he tried to scream, but there no one to hear him...

* * *

  
  
Jazzie scanned her checklist, which was entitled with the words: Glasgow Coma Scale, and saw that the first thing she had to do was access his eye response.  
  
Looking down at her patient, she could see that was going to be difficult, because his left eye was bandaged over. But she needed to try anyway. "Munkustrap?" She called. "Munkustrap! Can you open eyes for me?"  
  
The right eye remained still, so she skipped to the next test: 'Response to loud stimuli.'  
  
Placing her paws next to his left ear, she clapped loudly, and that time, received a twitch, followed by the faintest flicker of an eyelid!  
  
"Oh... my love, where are you?" she sighed, looking at the next test: 'Response to pain stimuli.'     
  
Taking out her pen, she placed Munkustrap's middle digit in between it and her forefinger. Then pressed, with gradual intensity, until she had applied the maximum amount of force.  
  
He opened his eye briefly, mumbled something incoherent, then closed it again. That earned an optimistic score of 3 and a 2 for 'verbal response.'    
  
Next was 'Motor function.'  
  
He didn't obey any verbal commands, including squeezing her paw. So she pinched his good shoulder with her thumb and forefinger instead, gradually increasing the pressure.  
  
That got a tail flick!  
  
So then she pushed her fingers into the pressure points on his forehead, and got a more positive response: a flinch!  
  
Jazzie totted up the score, and forced down a ball of disappointment. "Right! Mister!" she shakily scolded him. "You have just scored a big, fat NINE! I want to see an improvement on that tomorrow, is that clear-?!"  
  
"Hehehe!"  
  
A sudden giggle made her jump!  
  
She spun round, noticing that the curtain was twitching! The second thing, was the double shadow crouched behind it!  
  
"Who's there?" She demanded. "This is a hospital, not a playground!"  
  
"Hehehe!"  
  
There it was again! And this time, a pair of Torbie Angoras snuck out from behind the curtain, looking sheepish! "Blimey! Soz Doc. Nuff said, yeah?!" Mungojerry apologised. "We just came to see how poor old Munkus was getting on, like. But then, we saw you was busy, see, and er... decided to wait until you'd finished whatever it was you was doing, like!"  
  
Jazzie narrowed her eyes. There was something about the way these two spoke that made it sound like they were always up to no good, even when they weren't!

"Of course," she said evenly. "Forgive me."  
  
She motioned for them to go and stand by Munkustrap's bedside. "It's ok," she insisted, noticing they looked a little apprehensive. "You may move closer. Just don't touch any of the wires or machines, d'accord?"  
  
Despite the encouragement, the twins still approached the bed with extreme caution, as though they were afraid of waking the prone figure lying within it.

"Crikey, Teazer!" Mungojerry whispered out of the side of his mouth. "Ee looks bleedin awful, don't ee? There's more drum rolls in im than a string Fred West!" *1  
  
"Shut up, Jerry! Or he'll hear ya!" Rumpleteazer exclaimed, shooting her twin a glare, before going back to her piteous gazing.  
  
Mungojerry soon got bored of this, however, becoming distracted by the strange, whirring machines!

While his back was turned, Rumpleteazer quickly checked no one was looking. Then she picked up Munkustrap’s paw and held it against her cheek, closing her eyes as she discreetly nuzzled it. At least, she thought she was being discreet!  
  
Mungojerry glanced over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "Ere? D'you fancy im or sommink? Only, I don't fink he's up for dating, right now!"  
  
Rumpleteazer jumped and stuck Munkustrap's paw back where she'd found it! Then she poked her tongue out at him! "What’s your problem!?" she countered. "Ain'tchoo never heard of sympathy before? Ain't that what you're supposed to give people when they're Moby?!" *2  
  
Mungojerry held up his paws. "Alright! Alright! Keep ya bleedin fur on! Tell ya what, why dontcha kiss him while ur at it? Don't let me stop ya!"  
  
"For the last time Jerry! I don't fancy im! ALRIGHT!?"  
  
Mungojerry simply pointed at her and laughed, "Shyeah! Pull the other one!"  
  
"Grrr!"  
  
She looked ready to strangle him, but Mungojerry had already lost interest in teasing his sister. "Say, ere? Jazzie?" He asked.  
  
"Hm?" Jazzie replied distractedly, looking up from her clipboard.  
  
"What's this wire do?" He pointed towards one at random.  
  
“That is attached to the ECG electrodes on his chest, which are connected to this monitor here,” she explained, pointing to a screen on the wall above the bed. "It is monitoring everything, from his pulse rate, to his blood pressure, and will alert me of any abnormalities."  
  
Mungojerry made a wry face. "... abno-whats?"  
  
"It will set off an alarm if any of them change."  
  
"...meaning he's about a be brown bread?" He finished, semi understanding.  
  
"Ee means dead!" Rumpleteazer interjected helpfully. "Jerry, speak proper! She darn understand ya, cos she's a Park Bench, int she!" *3  
  
"I'm a what???" Jazzie spluttered.

She gave a tired sigh. "Oh, never mind. Yes... potentially, he could be… how you say? Brown bread?"  
  
Rumpleteazer gave her an elbow nudge. "Spoken like a true Cockney!" She approved.  
  
Under normal circumstances, Jazzie would have smiled. But there was nothing normal about today, so no feelings of joy reached her lips. She only sighed again and began to point out the other tubes and wires. "This tube is attached to this machine, which is called a ventilator,” she told them, placing a paw on the grey, oblong machine with a control panel of chrome knobs and dials, a pressure dial and lines of flickering yellow lights.  
  
The twins couldn't fail to notice the white on/off switch, that they seemed to instinctively know NOT to touch!  
  
"What's he need that for?" Asked Mungojerry, his eyes travelling from the machine, to the clear, plastic tube that was feeding air into Munkustrap’s lungs, emitting a gentle hiss with each pump.  
  
"Well... sometimes,” she elucidated. “When patients get very poorly, they need a bit of extra assistance with their breathing. That's what this machine does…"  
  
“Oh! Right!” said Mungojerry, grinning. “It makes sense now.” The grin faded. “I fink!” He muttered, under his breath.  
  
Glad to have something to keep her mind busy, Jazzie listed off the other tubes and wires, explaining what each of them did... but stopped short at the catheter. They didn't need to know about that!  
  
"Oh, I get it!" Mungojerry exclaimed. "These robots is making him better, ain't they?"  
  
"I hope so, Jerry," said Jazzie, with a worried sigh. "Although he isn't doing very well at the moment. He should be waking up, but- Teazer, what are you doing!?"  
  
Rumpleteazer jolted, spilling the contents of the box she’d been delving into all over the floor! "Wha!?" she said, through a mouthful of chewed up biscuits. "I were proper Hank Marvin, I was!" *4  
  
Jazzie placed her paws on her hips and glared at her.  
  
"Well, ee ain't gonna need em, is ee?" The torby argued.  
  
"You're always eating, you are!" Laughed Mungojerry. "I dunno where she puts it to be quite honest wiv ya! How she ain't as fat as a frog, I'll never know!"  
  
He shook his head in consternation, then looked at Munkustrap again. It felt really odd to him that the Bengcoon wasn't telling them off... for he didn't trust the pair as far as he could throw them, and certainly wouldn't have tolerated anyone stealing his Fishy Treats under normal circumstances!  
  
"So… err... what'll happen, if… er, you know, he don't wake up, like?" Mungojerry asked delicately.  
  
Jazzie was quiet for a minute. "I don't want to think about that," she said finally.  
  
"Ere? Is that what you was doing?" Rumpleteazer asked suddenly. "Tryna wake him up?"  
  
"Sort of," Jazzie replied.  
  
The twins grinned mischievously at one another. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Jerry?" Teazer asked excitedly.  
  
"I dunno, am I, Teazer?" He responded in a tremulous voice.  
  
"What are you two planning?" Sighed Jazzie, once again looking suspicious.  
  
They smiled and tapped their noses. "You'll see," said Teazer. "It's a surprise! Come on, Jerry! Let's go find Old Snake Hips!"  
  
She dragged him out of the Infirmary, bagsying the half eaten box of Fishy Treats as she went! Jazzie could only look on with a half amused, half worried expression on her face, at what the cheeky twins might be up to this time! Sighing, she turned on her heel and went to speak to her colleagues.

* * *

  
  
They were busy discussing ideas for Munkustrap's treatment over cups of tea, when Demeter suddenly burst in on them, looking deeply distressed! "Has anyone seen Meritas?" she pleaded, her voice hoarse from shouting. "I can't find him ANYWHERE!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no! Is poor Munkus going to make it? *shrugs* ah dunno! Read and find out!
> 
> *1 Thank God! He is alive! My angel is alive!
> 
> *2 He looks awful doesn't he? There are more holes in him than in a string vest!
> 
> *3 Short for: Moby Dick= sick.
> 
> *4 French person.
> 
> *5 Starving.


	10. Doomnation

Sometimes, it really sucked to an only kitten!

Being less than a month old, Meritas was the youngest by far; the next one up from him being his half sister Jemima, and at eighteen months, she was much too old to be playing silly little kitten games!

The humans had taken his brother and sister away, and with no additional kittens having been born to the tribe in almost two years, he had no choice but to play on his own.

He awoke early in the afternoon, with the sun in his eyes. His mummy was still asleep, so he climbed on her. “Mummy! Wake up! I want to see daddy!” He whined. Daddy would play with him!  
  
“Go back to sleep, Mertie…” his mother said without opening her eyes.

This was the first time she’d slept in days, and she wasn't about to be disturbed! But as a compromise, she automatically rolled over and allowed him to nurse, before drowsiness overtook her and she fell back into a deep slumber.  
  
But once he'd had his fill, the kitten was far from tired! He looked around the den, wondering what else to do.

He tried putting his jazz shoes on the wrong feet, thinking he would practice his pirouettes, like Dance Teacher Cassandra had sternly reminded him to- when he suddenly spied something fluttering in the window!

Forgetting the pirouettes, he climbed up to get a better look.

It was a butterfly! But it was on the outside!

He sighed disappointedly.

Then noticed the window was slightly ajar, the gap just big enough for a chubby little kitten to squeeze through!

Once on the outside, he had the Cabbage White in his sights. “I'm gonna get you!” He said to it.

He readied himself, wiggled his rear end and... pounced!

Missed!

In fact, he missed the window ledge entirely and toppled off, right into a pile of oily rags!

Meanwhile, the butterfly was flitting away across the yard, keeping tantalizingly close to the ground... “Wait!” He cried. “Let me get you!”

He scampered after it, chasing it all over the place!

It almost seemed to be mocking him! Periodically, it would land on something like a paint can. Meritas would get ready to pounce... and off it would fly again!

But after awhile, the butterfly seemed to tire of the game, and flew straight up, until Meritas could see it no more.

That was the moment he noticed he’d wondered quite far from home. Looking around, he realised he didn't know where he was!

Where was the Junkyard?

What was this black, dusty thing? And what were those big, noisy machines that thundered to and fro?

All of a sudden he felt lost and frightened! “Mummy?!” he cried. “Where are you?!”  
  
A shadow suddenly fell across him! 

He turned to look, but it wasn't his mother…!

* * *

 

Slowly, he opened his eyes.

Blinking a few times, he rolled onto his side and immediately started coughing, spewing water onto the deck of what appeared to be a floating raft.  

When he'd just about recovered, he pulled himself up and peaked over the side. In the receding light, he could make out a plethora of sinister shapes, with faces twisted into silent screams, floating in the blackness below him. He shivered. "What ARE those things?" he wondered out loud.

"Undead," came the gravelly reply. "Condemned to drift in the Lake of Lost Souls for all eternity. That's what happens when you're caught trying to cheat. Did they bite you?"  
  
Munkustrap checked himself. "No, I don't think so…"  
  
"Well obviously! Otherwise, you'd be in there too, forever hungry for the blood of mortals!"  
  
Munkustrap looked apprehensively at the figure, who stood on the edge of the raft, dressed in a grey, woollen cloak and using a long pole to drag them through the water. Tied to a wooden stake next to him, was the lantern he must have seen earlier.

The stranger's voice sounded vaguely familiar, so, with his curiosity getting the better of him, Munkustrap edged towards him. "Who are you?" he asked.  
  
The stranger lowered his hood, to reveal a slate coloured Maine Coon whose face was heavily deformed by scars. In fact, his skull looked as though it had been smashed to pieces and put back together again in a hurry! Munkustrap couldn’t believe his eyes! "Poseidon?" He gasped.  
  
"Aye! That's me," chuckled Poseidon, his shaggy fur waving in the soft, icy breeze. "And _you_ must be Munkustrap? Well well! Last I saw you, you were this high!" He held his paw against his knee.

Although, Munkustrap noted, despite being fully grown, he still stood two inches shy of _this_ giant's full height!

"I take it you are the same age I was when I died?" Poseidon continued. "S’a good job you're not a fat bugger like me, otherwise I'd have been unable to rescue you. As it was, I almost capsized the raft trying to drag your sorry arse out of there!"  
  
"Hang on! If you're dead, then why are you here?" Munkustrap asked, feeling confused.  
  
"Struck a deal with Death," Poseidon explained. "He caught me trying to cheat the system- by trying to get back. I’d be down there like the rest of them, but I gave him my last life so I could ferry folks on their way to the City of the Dead, or Dead Cit, as it's affectionately known, for the best part of forever!”

With great sorrow, he then said, “I’m afraid you’ll have to pay me- or else I'll have no choice but to throw you back in there..."

Munkustrap looked up sharply! "What with?! I have no money!"

"One of your nine lives," came the reply.  
  
Munkustrap thought for some time, weighing up his options, of which were weren't many. "OK," he said, finally. "I'll give you a life, once you get me safely to the other side. Deal?"  
  
"You know how this works!" Laughed Poseidon. "I'm glad someone was listening to my stories. Now you know that some of them weren't just stories."  
  
"The others were scared witless of your stories!" Munkustrap recalled. "But I always loved them. They inspired me to become a storyteller myself- though I could never hold a candle to you!"  
  
"Is that so?” Poseidon chuckled. “Well then, how does a storyteller up in Lost Soul Lake?"  
  
Munkustrap cast his eyes down. "I think I am dead," he said quietly. "It's strange though… because I don't _feel_ dead! And besides, I thought death was supposed to be relaxing? It's been far from it!”

He looked around at the bleak landscape. At the dark, featureless lake, with its seemingly non-existent shoreline and tendrils of mist floating on the surface like ghostly phantoms. Even the sky was dank and grey! “What is this place?” He asked. “They always tell you how great the Heaviside layer is. But this is more like Hell!"  
  
"This is Doomnation," Poseidon explained, gesturing at the surroundings. "Like all pass throughs, it's a bit of a shit hole. You get the good, the bad and just plain bitter ending up here.”

He queried out of interest, “So? How did you die? Was it an honorable death?"  
  
With an arm resting on his knee, Munkustrap looked out at the lake again. "I don’t know," he said finally. "How about you? I heard you were mauled by a pollicle?"  
  
"I don't remember how I died," Poseidon replied with an apathetic shrug. "I'm guessing it was a pollicle though, because it was the Pollicle tribe that used to terrorize us on a daily basis. One minute, I was fighting, the next… 'poof!' Dead as a doornail!"  
  
"The humans cracked down on the stray dog situation in the end," Munkustrap informed him. "Rounded them all up, never to be seen again."  
  
"Ah! That is music to my ears!" Poseidon exclaimed happily. "At least my death was not in vain! After all, it is the lot of the Protector to be the target of violence, so that others are not. I died saving lives, therefore, I died happy. I’m willing to bet you were doing the same."  
  
"Yes… and I suspect my brother Macavity had something to do with it," Munkustrap said, thoughtfully.  
  
"Ha! You two fell out, eh? I'm sorry to hear that, mate!" With a concerned frown, the Maine coon enquired, "So, what was it over? Power? Queens? Both I'm guessing?”

Munkustrap nodded and made a dry face that read, “Yeah! And the rest!”

“Shame,” Poseidon mused. “You were like peas in a pod at one time. Mind you, I always thought there was something not quite right about that kitten. He was either destined for greatness, or notoriety."  
  
"Oh, he’s notorious alright!" Munkustrap said, rolling his eyes.

“Can't say I'm surprised. But if my memory serves me well, _you_ weren't exactly a saint either, were you?!”

Munkustrap answered with an ironic laugh, “Now _there's_ an understatement if ever I heard one!”

The Maine Coon smiled. “Glad to see you cleaned up your act. Can't have been easy?”

“Still isn't,” Munkustrap admitted, looking down again. “Some days I really struggle. I certainly couldn't have done it without those I love.”

“We all have blemishes,” Poseidon stated wisely. “I bet even EC has her faults! Take me, for instance.” He pointed to himself. “I was a grumpy bastard right the way through, and I made no apologies for it! I had a dangerous job to do. I had no time for friends! And when I died, not one bugger missed me! And screw the lot of them, I say! ”

Munkustrap shook his head. “You're wrong. I always admired your grit. Your resilience. Even when you were giving me a clip round the ear!”

“Haha! Yeah!” Poseidon remembered. “You're the only one who did, mind! That bloody council! Never once saw them lift a whisker, yet they were always quick to complain about something! Kept dolling out the work- funny how nothing I did was ever good enough! And if I ever dared speak out about it, well! That was me in the shit!”

Munkustrap laughed. “You'll be glad to know not much has changed! Father misses you, though.”

At that, Poseidon shook his head sadly. “Ah…! How is the Old Geezer? Still old?”

“Still old,” said Munkustrap with a sigh. “Still wise. Still deeply sad. I expect his big heart must be breaking all over again, because of me.”

He looked at Poseidon with sudden desperation in his eyes. “I have to get back,” he said. “For his sake, at least. I cannot imagine what my death would do to him!”

Poseidon looked doubtful.

“Please!” Munkustrap pleaded. “Help me out! I’ll do whatever it takes!”

Poseidon shook his head regretfully. "I’ve already done more than I should. But I know someone who might get you back. The Gatekeeper."  
  
Munkustrap’s eyes narrowed. "Go on."  
  
"He guards the Elevator. If you reach it before daybreak, you may be able to return to London. But there are no guarantees."  
  
"And if I don't make it in time?"  
  
Poseidon whistled and pointed down at the water.

"See," he mused. "You can't be dead. Not completely. Or else, you wouldn't be here. You'd either be back on Earth, in the Heaviside Layer… or in Hell. This is kind of a waiting area for those who are not quite dead, but not quite alive either. Or lost souls, such as myself, who have become trapped."  
  
"Can't you get out?" Asked Munkustrap.  
  
"Not on my own..."

Then the scarred tom seemed to have an idea. “Tell you what…”

He reached down to the hilt of his katana, and drew a small dagger from the pouch below it. Both weapons were nestled in a lacquered wood saya, similar to the empty one Munkustrap realised he was still wearing. With no obvious use for it, he cast it aside.  
  
"I'll give you my kogatana, seeing as you lost the katana I gave you," Poseidon said to him. "In return for saving your soul, you must promise to set me free."

"How?" Asked Munkustrap, as he accepted the gift and tucked it into his belt.  
  
"Go to where I am buried," Poseidon instructed. "Dig me up, and burn my bones. Do you promise?"  
  
Munkustrap nodded. "I promise, provided I can find your burial site. The old cemetery was recently destroyed by workmen, you see. Plus, I have no idea what state I'll be in when I get back."  
  
"Don't let me down, or I'll haunt you!" Poseidon laughed.

He held a paw to his brow and peered through the gloom. "Aha! Here we are!" he announced.  
  
From out of the mist, the dim outline of the shore came into view, and the slate Maine Coon held his spade like paw to Munkustrap's chest. "Now for your payment," he said.

Munkustrap looked down. The centre of his chest began to glow with a golden light. Then he felt a terrible pain!

He shut his eyes, grimaced and threw back his head, longing to scream, but the sheer agony snatched his breath away before a scream could materialise! _"Aaaaah! Make it stoooop!!!"_ His mind begged. _"Nooo moooore…! NOOO MOOORE...!!!"_

With a look of grim wretchedness, Poseidon wrenched his paw back, taking with him a ball of burning light!

Meanwhile, Munkustrap fell to his knees, clutching his chest and cursing loudly! "Pollicle _mother!_ That frigging HURT!!!"  
  
"Sorry, Brother," Poseidon said bitterly, placing Munkustrap's life into a cloth bag, tying it up with a piece of rope and attaching it to his belt. "I had no choice."  
  
"Yeah, well!" Munkustrap continued to complain. "You could have at least _warned_ me!"  
  
"What did you expect?!" Poseidon snapped. "I just took one of your lives! Of _course_ it was going to hurt!"  
  
He took the Bengcoon’s paw, hauled him to his feet and looked him seriously in the eye with his burnt amber ones. "Toughen up!" he told him, all light heartedness gone. "Because if you think its hard now, it's going to get a LOT WORSE! Now listen to me! And listen good! If you fail to follow my instructions, your soul will be lost forever!"  
  
Munkustrap stayed quiet.

"Ok," Poseidon continued. "Follow the jetty. At the end, there'll be a Terra Horse waiting to take you to the City. When you get there, head to a place called The Pyre Inn. Ask for The Gatekeeper, tell him I sent you. The rest will be up to you!”

He placed a paw on his charge's shoulder and softened his tone. “Good luck,” he said. “Watch out for the Pahlavis and the Direwolves. This place is heaving with them!”

Munkustrap nodded and turned to go.

“Oh! One last thing!" added Poseidon, his voice growing strangely echoey. "Don't drink the water...!"

Then, he vanished, leaving Munkustrap alone on the jetty. It was far out in the lake, the shore lost in so many folds of grey that he couldn't even make it out... but he could smell it!

So he ran towards it, occasionally having to leap across gaps where the planks of wood had rotted away!

Then he came to a gap that was too far for even _him_ to jump!

Luckily, the posts were still there, sticking up out of the water like the ribs of some long dead sea creature, enabling him to hop across.

Then it happened!

The moment his foot touched it, he knew it was unstable!

His only hope was to stay upright as, with a dull creak, the post started to collapse!

He could see the water coming towards him, certain he would end up in the lake, into the jaws of doom!

But to his relief, the post fell towards the next one! Right before it disappeared into the murky depths, he casually leapt to safety, keeping his balance with the aid of his wildly swinging tail!

At long last, he felt hard, compacted earth beneath his feet! Looking around, he spied what he was looking for, tied to a rickety post. A black, skeletal horse, just as Poseidon had described.

It swished its scraggly tail as he approached, whinnying and stamping its hooves, looking at him warily with its glowing, red eyes.

Equally as apprehensive, Munkustrap moved closer and reached out his paw to stroke its bony nose, which only had a few remnants of leathery skin attached to it, exposing its piano key-like teeth.

Most things responded well to a bit of kindness, so Munkustrap spoke softly to it, "Shhhhhh, it's ok. I'm Munkustrap. Who are you?"

He noticed it had a nametag on its halter. "Firanz?" He read.  
  
Upon hearing its name, the creature immediately grew calm, as though it hadn't heard its name uttered for a very long time, allowing Munkustrap to pat its neck, while taking the opportunity to give him a good sniff! "I need to get to the City, Firanz. Can you show me the way?" Munkustrap asked it.  
  
Appearing to understand, Firanz tossed his head and turned his back towards him, indicating he should get on.

Munkustrap hesitated. He'd never ridden a horse before!  
  
Seemingly eager to get going, Firanz neighed impatiently and pawed the ground!

"Ok ok!" snapped Munkustrap. "Just promise you won't buck me off!"  
  
With that, he jumped up into the worn, leather saddle, guessing he had to place his feet in the metal stirrup thingies, while at the same time, taking care not to snag his claws on the creature's horribly exposed ribs!

He grabbed the reins, and Firanz reared up. With an excited neigh, he cantered off through the murk, the wind ruffling Munkustrap’s fur. The Bengcoon had to admit, the experience was kind of exhilarating once you got the hang of it, quickly discovering you had to essentially stand on the stirrups in order to avoid being bounced around like an apple on a bouncy castle full of children!

Across strange, desert-like moorland they journeyed, climbing great tors topped with piles of granite stones, sticking out like jagged teeth. Some were like frozen sentinels, watching as they passed.

They descended deep valleys, splashing through streams and jumping across narrow gorges.

But after travelling for a while, the landscape began to change, morphing into a flat, featureless plane.

As they raced along, Munkustrap spied a dark shape out of the corner of his eye. He looked up, and immediately wished he hadn't!

The thing that had caught his attention was a strange, birdlike creature with batlike wings, a beak like a meat hook and gleaming eyes!

Even more disturbing was the sight of hundreds of them circling overhead! "Pahlavis!" he gasped.

One swooped towards them!

He saw its outstretched talons shooting towards him, like giant sickles!

He whipped the kogatana from his belt and pulled on the reins! Firanz swerved!

He lashed out, burying the knife in the Pahlavi’s side!

The creature gave a horrible shriek and crumpled!

"Faster, Firanz!" He shouted, and stabbed at another creature, but missed!

The horse whinnied in terror and put on a burst of speed, but it was no match for the Pahlavi!

All of a sudden, something struck Munkustrap on the back of the neck! He was knocked from the saddle and hit the dusty ground, landing next to a pile of grisly skeletons!

He rolled back onto his feet, but it was too late! Firanz was galloping away into the distance, and showed no sign of stopping!

Cursing the brainless animal, Munkustrap brandished the dagger!

He ducked a set of stabbing claws, then leapt up to catch a 'bird' across its abdomen, sending it crashing to the ground!

But there were many more!

Suddenly, a devilish howl made his heart stop!

He looked round, and became aware of _other_ pairs of eyes! Snarling, hound-like creatures, their jaws salivating, were moving towards him out of the darkness!

With nowhere left to run, his chances of survival were looking pretty dismal!

Unless…

A desperate idea suddenly popped into his head. It probably wouldn't work, but surely it was better than standing there, waiting to get ripped apart?!

Daring to look away from the gnashing canines, he spied a Pahlavi swooping towards him!

With a series of blood freezing cries, the hounds also launched themselves, tearing across the ground!

He turned and threw the dagger! A dying yelp met his ears! Then, with a cry of exertion, he leapt upwards, grabbing a pawful of feathers!

He latched on, finding them to be surprisingly oily! So oily, as to be almost impossible to hang onto! A few fur raising moments passed as he scrambled frantically for purchase, digging his claws into the leathery skin while the 'bird' shrieked and struggled!

But there was no shaking the cat off!

Eventually, he pulled himself onto the creature’s back, swung a leg over and clamped his knees onto its boney sides, just in front of its enormous, beating wings! He held on tightly to the folds of skin behind its bald head. "Oi, you!" He shouted. "Squawk, or something, if you can understand me!"  
  
It let out a sorrowful shriek.

"Good! Now take me to The Pyre Inn. As quick as you like!"

Another squawk, and the Pahlavi did as it was told!

* * *

  
"Wakey wakey! Rise and shine!!!!"  
  
_'Crash, bang! Crash, bang!' 'Paaaarp paaaarp paaaaaarp paaaaaaarp!' 'Crash, bang! Crash, bang!'_  
  
"What on Earth is going on?!"  
  
"Whaddya think's going on?!" Mungojerry shouted over the din, pausing briefly in his vague rendition of Lost Song by Saor Patrol, using Munkustrap's most reviled instrument: Rum Tum Tugger's bagpipes! "If these don't wake him up, nothing will!"  
  
With that, he carried on with the rest of the song, with Rumpleteazer merrily bashing her symbols, NOT in time to the 'music'-!  
  
"STOP, STOP, STOP!!!" Yelled Jazzie, covering her sensitive ears with her paws. "Guys! You cannot wake him up like this! All that’s going to happen, is you are going to DEAFEN HIM!"  
  
At that moment, a very flustered Jennyanydots burst in! "What is this RACKET!" She demanded. "This is a hospital, not an amusement arcade!!!"  
  
The noise had attracted every Jellicle in the vicinity, and they were all piling into the little room, gawping (although some were glaring!) at Mungojerry and Rumpleteazer. When faced with the wrath of Jennyanydots however, both cats cowed! "We're really sorry, Jenny!" sniffed Mungojerry. "We didn't mean no harm! We just wanted to help!"  
  
Jennyanydots softened. "I know you miss him, dear,” she said. “We all want him to wake up. But the best way you can help, is by BEING QUIET! Now take these instruments and put them back where you found them!" She pointed to the door.  
  
"Yes, Jenny!"

They meekly skulked out of the Infirmary, dragging their tails and their instruments behind them!

* * *

  
_"Am I going mad, or can I hear bagpipes?!"_ Munkustrap thought to himself.

He shook his head to try to clear it of the infernal noise, then looked down. Peering through the blanket of cloud, he could just make out the eerie outlines of buildings and silent roads far below.  
  
_"Looks like a city to me,"_ he thought. _"Now, all I have to do is find this-"_  
  
A strangled cry suddenly interrupted his train of thought. The Pahlavi's whole body shuddered!

"What's up with you?" Munkustrap grumbled, then saw, to his dismay, an arrow embedded in its gullet! "Crap!" He uttered, as it folded its wings, and promptly died!  
  
He had no time to see who had shot the arrow, because he was plummeting towards the ground at a terrifying speed!

He stood on the creatures back, shut his eyes and braced himself for the impact... which came as an almighty _'CRASH!!!”_

With a sound of splintering wood, he smashed through a thatched roof, a rotten plaster ceiling, and carried on downwards through two stories of flimsy, wooden flooring, finally to land with an, "Oof!!!" in the middle of a pile of straw, sending it flying in all directions!

It was lucky the bird like creature had cushioned his fall, otherwise he would have been seriously injured!

Feeling slightly dazed, he staggered to his feet, pausing to fish bits of straw out of his mouth!

Looking around, he noticed he was in some kind of saloon. It was crowded with cats, but what was odd, was that none of them had really paid any attention when he had crashed through the ceiling, as though that sort of thing happened a lot.

Shrugging, he instinctively located the bar, and made his way over, noticing a small group of cats seated in front of it, solemnly sipping small glasses of water.

Glad to have some company, Munkustrap attempted to make eye contact with a few of them, but they ignored him.

 _“Strange!”_ He thought.

He coughed politely, but that didn't get him anywhere! So he tried speaking to an old, grey Siamese instead. “Hey? Erm… excuse me?”

Despite his best efforts to engage the cats in conversation, not one of them spoke, or even looked up.

Thinking that this was most rude, Munkustrap was about to tell them so, when a glass of water was shoved in front of him.

Quickly shelving plans to teach the strangers a stern lesson in manners, he was struck by a sudden, raging thirst! He couldn't recall the last time he'd had a drink, but guessed it must have been a while ago, because his mouth felt like sun baked clay! So he reached out, and was about to knock back the water, when something caught his eye.

With the glass halfway to his lips, he looked down and saw a kitten staring up at him. "Hello?" he said tentatively.  
  
"Hello," it replied in a tiny, almost mouse like voice.  
  
Relieved to have someone to talk to at last, he gave her a kind smile and put the glass down. "What's your name?" He asked her.  
  
"Sophia," she replied. "What's yours?"  
  
"Munkustrap."

He reached down to touch paws with her, and then enquired, "So? What's a little thing like you doing here?" In sad hindsight, he guessed it wasn't a joyful reason.  
  
"I have always been here," she said, returning the gesture. "I am waiting."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"To be released. What about you?"  
  
"Well... I’m _trying_ to get back to Kansas," he explained on a slightly sour note. "But it's been one Hell of a trip so far and I don't seem to be any closer to my destination." He looked around. "So? Why are all these cats here?"  
  
"Same as you," she explained. "Waiting. Waiting to die. Or to live.” She gestured to them. “They have drunk the water, so will be stuck here until their lives run out. Some have been here for so long that their minds have rotted away. Frank has been here the longest."

She pointed to a withered, old tabby sitting in the corner, nursing a glass of that strange water. "He has been here for almost thirty years. Death will come for him soon. Death comes for us all... in the end."  
  
Suddenly, a cat ran towards them! It was the grey Siamese!

Howling with fear, he grabbed Munkustrap’s chest fur, yanking on it! “Help me!” He begged. “PLEASE!”

At a loss, Munkustrap instinctively took hold of the individual’s shaking paws, staring at pure terror in the rolling green eyes. “Help you?” he said. “How?!”

But the cat only screamed in panic, “Don't let him get me! DON'T LET HIM GET ME!!!”

“Let _who_ get you-!?”

Looking back, the Siamese tore himself free and tried to run from something that no one else could see!

He continued to back away, whimpering, his eyes bulging, until he hit the wall and could go no further!

He fell to his knees. "No!" He cried. "NO! NOOO! NOOOOOO! PLEEEEASE...!"  
  
He continued to scream and beg for mercy, even as his body disintegrated, and all that was left of him was a pile of ash!

No one, except Munkustrap, so much as batted an eyelid! Even Sophia seemed disinterested. "Looks like Tomas's time ran out," she sighed.  
  
Deeply shaken, Munkustrap shoved the glass of untouched water aside, cursing himself for his stupidity! "I’m looking for the Gatekeeper," he said, turning to the kitten. "Do you think you could help me find him?"  
  
"He's right here!" She replied knowingly. "Or should I say, she."  
  
His eyes widened. "Wait. _You're_ The Gatekeeper?"  
  
"Oh, he's quick!" she remarked, rolling her eyes. "Yes. _I'm_ the Gatekeeper!"  
  
"Sooo, that means you can get me home?"  
  
"Poseidon sent you, didn't he?" She sighed. "I thought as much. I can't just 'get you home.' I need something from you."  
  
"Let me guess," he said with a note of irony. "A life?"  
  
"Good guess!" She said, smirking. Then she looked serious again. "The trouble is. You've only got two left."  
  
“That’s all?!" Munkustrap exclaimed. "I mean, I know where _some_ of them went, but… what about the others?"  
  
"That's the downside of being brave," she said with a shrug. "Is this your first brush with death?"  
  
"Probably not," he had to admit. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more surprising it was for him to have any lives left at all! He quickly made up his mind, "OK. It's a deal. “  
  
Sophia raised an eyebrow. "You _do_ realise what that means? If you are faced with death again, that will be it. You will not be able to return."  
  
"I would give away a thousand lives if it meant I could see my family, just one more time!" he replied tersely.  
  
She shrugged again. "Fair enough. It's your choice."  
  
"I wasn't aware that I had one!" He growled under his breath.  
  
"Come,” she said, ignoring his somewhat taut manner. “Follow me. And hurry!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
She answered over her shoulder, "It is almost daybreak!"  
  
Upon looking out of the nearest window, Munkustrap could indeed make out the first, sluggish rays of milky light, creeping over the horizon. "If the sun appears, Death will come for you!" she explained.  
  
He followed the peaches and cream kitten towards the back of the saloon without another word, towards an ornate elevator which was set into the wall. The golden cage door slid open, and he stepped inside.

"Now, for your life," said Sophia.  
  
This time Munkustrap knew what to expect, so shut his eyes and braced himself for the agony that was sure to come!

He cracked open an eye when none came. "Well?" he asked. "What are you waiting for?"  
  
"For you to give me your life," she said, sounding exasperated.  
  
"Wait. I have to physically _give_ it to you?"  
  
"Well done, Sherlock!" She replied, rolling her eyes again.  
  
"Right..." He gave a reluctant sigh and glanced down at his chest, realising it was glowing again!

Feeling morbidly curious, rather than alarmed, he reached up to touch the golden orb.

To his astonishment, his fingers sank right into it, as though it was made of nothing more than sand! He could feel the pressure of his fingers, a most peculiar sensation, and not an altogether pleasant one, at that! Like someone had taken hold of his throat and was squeezing it from the inside. _"I’m doing this for the ones I love,"_ he thought. _"I hope they appreciate it!"_  
  
He didn't feel anything at first. But that was until he tried to pull, and was met with resistance, as though it didn't want to come out! So he tugged harder!

That was when the extreme pain started, accompanied by that now familiar feeling of someone tearing out his heart... only this time, it was he who was inflicting the agony upon himself! His mind begged him to stop, but he ignored it! Instead, he took a deep breath and set his jaw. Then, pulled harder! His gritted teeth could not contain his agonised screams, as, with a final effort, the life suddenly became unstuck, and he managed to prize it from his chest, like a limpet from a rock!

Shaking and gasping for breath, he found himself, once again, on his knees, and handed over his last spare life with a trembling paw. "Here… take it…" he croaked, barely able to speak.  
  
Sophia took the throbbing, golden globe from him like it was a little bird, and held it to her own heart, where it was immediately absorbed. Once it had all but disappeared, she smiled with a kittenish delight and hugged him. "Thank you!" She cried.  
  
"What for?" he asked weakly.  
  
"Your life will set me free," she told him. "I have been waiting for you, Munkustrap. I shall finally find eternal peace in the Heaviside Layer, where I hope to find my mummy.”

“I'm glad it has gone to a good cause,” he muttered, feeling glad, but was lacking the energy to show it.

She smiled cheerfully, not in the least bit affected by his lack of enthusiasm, or the fact that the room had suddenly grown cold.

Deathly cold, like a blast freezer!

Their breath escaped in great clouds! Sophia glanced behind her. The black hooded figure stalked towards them, it's movements jerky and stiff. With death in every step, it raised its scythe!

Speaking quickly, Sophia turned back to Munkustrap and pulled the gate shut, separating them. "Picture your family in your mind,” she instructed. “Hold onto that thought and don't let go, not for one second, you got that!? Good luck... and goodbye!"  
  
With her final words, Death walked straight through the gate as though it was made of nothing more than spider's web!

It gave a bone rattling hiss, like the sound of air escaping through a hole in some putrid corpse!

And this time, there was no escape!


	11. Please Don't Go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added some stuff! This needs to stop!

_These are the days of the open hand_ _  
_ _They will not be the last_ _  
_ _Look around now_ _  
_ _These are the days of the beggars and the choosers_ _  
_ _This is the year of the hungry man_ _  
_ _Whose place is in the past_ _  
_ _Hand in hand with ignorance_ _  
_ _And legitimate excuses_ _  
_ _The rich declare themselves poor_ _  
_ _And most of us are not sure_ _  
_ _If we have too much_ _  
_ _But we'll take our chances_ _  
_ _'Cause God's stopped keeping score_ _  
_ _I guess somewhere along the way_ _  
_ _He must have let us all out to play_ _  
_ _Turned his back and all God's children_ _  
_ _Crept out the back door_ _  
_ _And it's hard to love, there's so much to hate_ _  
_ _Hanging on to hope_ _  
_ _When there is no hope to speak of_ _  
_ _And the wounded skies above say it's much, much too late_ _  
_ _Well, maybe we should all be praying for time_ _  
_ _These are the days of the empty hand_ _  
_ _Oh, you hold on to what you can_ _  
_ _And charity is a coat you wear twice a year_ _  
_ _This is the year of the guilty man_ _  
_ _Your television takes a stand_ _  
_ _And you find that what was over there is over here_ _  
_ _So you scream from behind your door_ _  
_ _Say, "What's mine is mine and not yours"_ _  
_ _I may have too much but I'll take my chances_ _  
_ _'Cause God's stopped keeping score_ _  
_ _And you cling to the things they sold you_ _  
_ _Did you cover your eyes when they told you_ _  
_ _That he can't come back_ _  
_ _'Cause he has no children to come back for_ _  
_ _It's hard to love, there's so much to hate_ _  
_ _Hanging on to hope when there is no hope to speak of_ _  
_ _And the wounded skies above say it's much too late_  
So maybe we should all be praying for time  
(Praying For Time by George Michael)

 

* * *

Munkustrap's ears were flat against his skull!

The Faceless Behemoth was millimetres from him! Close enough to feel it's liquid nitrogen breath pouring onto his face, carrying with it the suffocating odour of death and decay!

With another rattling hiss, it brought down the scythe!

Munkustrap pressed himself against the metal wall of the elevator! He shut his eyes and tried to think! Fought to push away the horrifying image of the monster before him, and replace it with images of Jennyanydots and Jellylorum giving him a firm telling off about something! It almost made him chuckle, picturing their cross faces and folded arms!

The reprimanding frowns morphed into a pair of cheeky grins, and he realised he was looking into the giggling faces of those two baduns: Mungojerry and Rumpleteazer! Maybe they weren't so bad after all!

They were followed, in quick succession, by Bombalurina’s sultry smile, and then Demeter’s nervous one, before the ever suave Rum Tum Tugger stepped in front of them and folded his arms, as if to say, “Well? Here I am!”

Munkustrap shifted his vision to see Skimbleshanks standing next to him, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, just as Old Deuteronomy put a paw around them both and laughed that booming laugh of his!

Munkustrap saw his sons and daughters: smiling as they skipped and danced, beckoning him to come over.

So he did, and when he got there, they parted. She turned to him.

Dazzling blue eyes lit up her face! So real, he could almost touch her… when her smile disappeared and he saw sorrow there instead!

Screams echoed inside his head…! "Everlasting Cat, please! Help me!" he whispered, and suddenly there was silence.

Out of the silence, came an ethereal voice. Not evil sounding, but strangely pleasant. _"Thy Prithee hast been answered, oh Blessed One!"_ It said.

_"What…?! Where's The Thing got to?!"_

_"Open thine eyes! I prithee thee, be afraid not!"_

Sounding vaguely feminine, the voice wafted around him like soft feathers, filling his heart with a mixture of joy and terror!

"Will I not die?" he asked, his own voice sounding strangely resonant. "If indeed, you are who I think you are?"  
  
_"Open thine eyes, Mercurathe,”_ it repeated _. “I assure thee, thou shalt come to no harm."_  
  
"It can't be...!"  
  
There was only one, other than he, who knew his third name (which was unpronounceable, so I have given you a rough translation!)

After all, she had been the one to give it to him!

Cautiously, he opened an eye... only to be instantly dazzled!

“Ah!” He gasped, throwing up his arms! It was like staring at the Sun!

Gradually, his eyes began to adjust, though he still had to shield them as he peered at his surroundings. It was as though someone had sucked up the scenery with an enormous vacuum cleaner! There was… nothing!

 _"Is this… it?_ he thought to himself.

Then suddenly he spotted movement!

Way out there, enveloped in hazy fog, something big was heading towards him, slowly, soundlessly…

With growing trepidation, he could only watch, as wisps of cloud were swept aside like satin curtains.

At the sight of it, he couldn't help but gasp in wonder!

As tall as a London bus, with long, white fur, shining as bright as the Sun itself, her dress and veil flowed around her body like liquid smoke, and she gazed upon him with eyes the size of dinner plates, blazing like fire, filled with wisdom and love; while a kind, almost motherly smile played across her lips.

He instinctively fell to his knees.

"My Lady..." he whispered, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the misty ground. _“What could she possibly want with me this time?!”_ He fretted. _“I knew I shouldn't have climbed up Jeanette’s net curtains… or been unkind to my brother... or cheated on-!”_

“ _Gaze upon me, Child!"_ She commanded.

He had to chuckle at that. “Haven't lost your sense of humour, I see! I am forty five in human years!”

The being did not reply.

Instead, she cupped his chin with a finger, and forced him to gaze upwards, into eyes that burned into his and read his deepest thoughts.

He swallowed back the lump in his throat, as she spoke in a voice that was as delicate as gossamer, but also as tumultuous as thunder! _"Child of Mine. Thou needeth not fear, for thou art worthy of my love, and I feel thy suffering as it is mine own. Thou hast serveth me well, and henceforth, I here by grant thee peace eternal. Prithee, come unto me, to where thy beloved awaiteth thee. Is that not thy desire?"_  
  
He gasped! "Gaiana…?!"  
  
He hadn't dared utter that name, or chanced to picture her face... not since that day…!  
  
_The world dissolved, and_ _he found himself standing in a small room. It was gloomy and devoid of all things joyous, the stark, grey wall being the only thing that could offer any degree of comfort._

_He certainly didn't want to face the harrowing scene that was lying in the bed next to him!_

_Instead, he looked down at the thing he cradled in his arms: a small, white bundle._

_His mouth felt dry. The blood hissed in his temples!_

_He knew what was underneath the cloth, the thing that weighed little more than the material itself. But something made him want to look, to see it with his own eyes. With a trembling paw, he lifted up the edge of the sheet... and fought back a sob!_

_"I named him Paris..." came a frail voice. "After the place you promised to take me..."_

_Swallowing, he forced himself to meet the empty gaze of the figure who lay in the bed. Violet blue eyes stared back, and it was clearly a struggle for her just to keep them open._

_Indeed, one would have thought they were looking upon a senior cat in her last moments of life. Fur that had once been pale and silky, was filthy and matted, with deep lines of suffering etched into her once radiant face._

_She had yet to see her second year, but looked as though she had ceased caring; longing only for the Everlasting Cat to rescue her from the pain that was all that she had left to show for her short life._

_"I could still take you!" he told her. "When you're back on your feet-!"_

_"The only place you ever took me to, was Hell!" she spat bitterly, in a tone that belied her tender youth. "How ironic… that I’m now going to Hell... in order to get away from YOU-!"_

_"Sweetheart, I've changed…! Things will be different now, I promise...!"_

_He reached out to grasp the frozen stick of bones that had, at one time, been a dainty, white paw._

_“Your promises are nothing but lies!” She replied, and snatched it away!_

_The effort proved too much._ _Her face became pinched and her eyes began to flicker._

_All he could do was curl up beside her and try to hold her as best he could..._

_“I hate you… but… I'll always... love you…” she whispered._

_"Don't leave me!” He wept. “Don't leave me now!"_

_There was no reply._  
  
As the image faded, Munkustrap found himself with his head in his paws.

It felt as though he'd been hit with a sledge hammer, and his whole body shook from the pain! “She died, not knowing… not knowing how much I... because I never told her!” He confessed, his voice brittle.

He let his paws drop down and let out a shuddering sigh. “You know I've wanted this. Longed, even, to go with you and end it all. But now I’m here, I have the option to stay, and desperately want to... I know I cannot. How could I do it to them? How could I rest peacefully, knowing I abandoned them?!”

The Deity didn't answer. He had answered his own questions.

“Tell Gaiana I love her," He added.

In reply, she smiled. _“If I may, I shalt grant thee a favor more to thy liking.”_

She gestured with her huge paw to a patch of fog a few yards away. _“Over yonder be thy beloved. She would speak with thee now.”_

“What???!”

Munkustrap squinted, but couldn't see anything.

That was until she waved her paw, and the mist parted, to reveal someone standing there. She was cradling something small in her arms.

Munkustrap gasped! “I-I don't believe it! It-it can't be...!”

His voice trailed away.

Was he seeing things?!

The flowing, white fur? The light brown markings? It simply couldn't be!

How many times had he dreamed of this? How many times had he woken with arms so empty, that no other queen could hope to fill them?!

Regardless of whether it was real or not, he was on his feet and running towards her!

She just laughed, like she always used to. _She looked so real!_

Before he knew it, she was in his arms!

He was holding her so tightly, never wanting to let go!

She was as delicate as he remembered, her angular frame feeling like it would crumble at any moment!

He pressed his nose into the silky down of her shoulder and wept. _This couldn't be real!_

He gently stroked her head. Nuzzled her cheek. She even smelt the same!

She nuzzled him back and he kissed her deeply, fighting back sobs. _She had to be real. She felt so real!_

He looked into her eyes, wanting to take in every inch of her. Those large, almond eyes, the colour of spring violets. There were tears falling from his.

He couldn't speak. He could barely breathe!

She uttered a small, hesitant laugh. “Wow! How you've grown!” she said, her voice as silvery as her fur. “You used to be so skinny!”

“Are you saying I'm fat?!” He joked, his own voice thick with emotion.

“No,” she answered gently. “I'm saying, you've grown, Snorrescha. All grown up!”

“I am old, is what you're saying!” he laughed. “And I am Munkustrap now. Snorrescha is no more.”

She smiled. “You used to despise that name. But you will always be my Reschi!”

He looked at her in wonderment. “You haven't changed!” he observed.

She was not battered or filthy, but pure and beautiful, like the first time he’d set eyes on her, oh so many years ago!

“It is because we are dead,” she said, and showed him the silver and black kitten in her arms.

His eyes were tightly closed. And would always remain so.

Munkustrap tickled his folded ears and he mewed plaintively, cutting his heart in two! He’d be a fully grown tom by now!

He looked into her eyes again, astounded to find not a trace of anger. Nor was there hate, or blame... just love and compassion. “You didn't deserve what happened to you,” he croaked. “It should have been me-!”

She put a finger to his lips. “Hush! Don't blame yourself anymore. We are happy and at peace. We’ll never have to grow old!”

A heavy sigh escaped from his lips… “I need you to know,” he told her. “That not day goes by when I don't regret what I did...” His voice trembled. “You would still be with me!”

She pulled him into a tight embrace. “I forgive you,” she murmured into his ear.

“That doesn't stop me missing you!”

“I miss you too!” She said, looking sorrowful.

“Then come back with me!”

She shook her head. “You know I can't.”

She began to fade away.

“Oh no!” he cried. “Gai, come back!”

He tried to hold onto her, losing all reasoning and rationality, only for her to dissolve into mist in his arms and float away!

Crying out, he collapsed to his knees, his tears falling on empty space! He gritted his teeth, and sobbed bitterly!

Feeling a presence behind him, he got slowly to his feet, and turned to the Deity! "What was that?!" He fumed. "Some kind of cruel trick?! Haven't I suffered enough shit to satisfy you???!”

 _“She completed the task I decreed of her,”_ the being calmly explained.

He uttered a mirthless laugh. “Oho?! Well! Thank you so much for your interference! You could have saved her! Why didn't you?!”

_“I do what must be done. The rest lies with thee.”_

“What sort of cop out answer is that?!”

_“A child asks of his parent the reasonings for what they would command of him, and the parent must giveth thereof.”_

“Oh really? Well, I've had enough of your bullshit!” he snarled. “Send me home! I need to be with the ones I love-!”

He felt the Deity's anger descend on him like a crushing blow to the gut!

Then a tempest started up, the wind hitting him like an iron wall! _“Thou shalt kneel before me, insolent child!”_ The voice boomed!

“I kneel to no one!” He shouted, struggling to stay upright! “Especially not you!!!”

The wind roared like a diesel train!

He braced himself, and faced into it! “Go on, then! Kill me! I don't care anymore! You already took the one thing that mattered to me!!!”  
  
The wind suddenly died down.

The figure, having gotten over its small tantrum, knelt down and held him in its arms, which were so vast he almost became lost within them! _"Forgive me,"_ she said _. "There are tasks thou must endeavor, before thou departeth the realm of the lived. I shalt send thee home, and will watcheth o'er thee. And thou wilt knowest, whence thou smile, I shalt smile unto thee, and whence thou weepeth, I shalt catch of thy tears."*_

“That won't be necessary!” he replied grudgingly.

She smiled and kissed his forehead. _"Fare thee well, Mercurathe..."_

The wind started up again, building rapidly into a force of hurricane proportions!

It flattened him onto his back like he was nothing more than a tin soldier!

“Gotta love women!” he muttered, as a cavern opened up and began to suck the world into it like water down a plughole!

He clung to the edge as everything around him disintegrated, but over the cry of the wind, thought he heard someone singing!

Then he was falling… falling… falling...!

* * *

  
  
Demeter was frantic! She raced around the Infirmary, searching wildly, becoming more distraught with every second that passed! She looked under beds, pulled back sheets and lifted up mattresses, peered behind doors, searched cupboards and ransacked drawers!

She screamed her son's name, but there was no sign of the lynx point kitten.

Jazzie eventually found her sitting in the middle of the waiting room with her arms wrapped around her knees, rocking in a silent panic attack. She placed a paw on the queen's shoulder, but the Tortoiseshell hardly noticed. "I don't understand," she whispered, with a strange, almost crazed look her eyes. “One minute he was there, and the next… he was gone! Where could he be?! I've looked EVERYWHERE!"

She collapsed into pitiful sobs, and Jazzie could do nothing to comfort her. In the end, she handed the stricken queen a valium and a glass of water, which she snatched out of her paw and stuffed into her mouth.

"Where did you last see him?" Jazzie asked, her own stomach tying itself in knots, silently willing the naughty kitten to come out from wherever he was hiding and stop this anguish once and for all!

"He was with me! Right there, in our d-den," Demeter wept. "I thought he was sleeping next to me… but when I woke up, he was gone! He must have snuck off somewhere... ooooh! Wait till I get my paws on him!!!"  
  
A large paw appeared on her other shoulder, but she didn't look up. "There now child, do not fret," said Old Deuteronomy. "I have informed the others. They are all out searching for him. But if anyone can find him, then I’m quite sure Mistoffelees can. He found me after all!"  
  
Of course! The Magician! He was their only hope!

Everyone allowed themselves to feel a small ray of it as the old feline nodded to him. Mistoffelees bowed back, and performed a little pirouette on the spot. When he stopped spinning, he was sporting his bowtie and sparkling jacket. He made a flamboyant display of adjusting the sleeves, before plucking a top hat out of thin air. With a flourish, he fished a scarlet tablecloth out of it (which, the spectating cats saw as yellow) and draped it over the rim of the hat. He then blew some magic dust from his paw and waved over the top, uttering some magic words. A drumroll started up!  
  
Mistoffelees frowned.

Looking around, his gaze landed on Tugger, who was drumming on a table!

He immediately stopped when he realised everyone was glaring at him! "Oh!" He smirked. "Sorry…!"  
  
The cats all tutted and turned back to the Magician.

He rolled his eyes, and, with another flourish, whipped away the cloth and peered into the hat.

A few cats craned their necks, daring to take a step closer! There was definitely something moving inside it!

Mistoffelees beamed as he reached in and announced, "Ladies and gentletoms! Princes and princesses! I give you… the rascal himself! A very cheeky, little… crow?"  
  
His face registered confusion, as he pulled out of the hat, not a lynx point kitten, but a scruffy, black bird! With a hoarse "Cwaar!" it flew out of his grasp, and dive bombed around the room!  
  
Cats shrieked and ducked to avoid its sharp beak, as it uttered a very un-crow like cackle of laughter, before eventually smashing its way through a window and vanishing!

A stunned silence followed.

 _"That spell has always worked before!"_ thought Mistoffelees, feeling as shocked and dumbfounded as everyone else! _"How could it have gone wrong?"_  
  
Rubbing his paws together, he took a deep breath. What was the matter with him? _"I'll just have to keep trying,"_ he resolved. _"Yes! That's what I'll do!"_  
  
Increasingly impatient pairs of eyes watched, with hope dwindling, as he repeated the spell five times over, each time pulling out something more outrageous!

Finally, he had to admit defeat when the last thing he pulled out was a pawful of moths! The insects descended upon the Infirmary in a great swarm, crawling into fur and getting into the laundry, accompanied by the same mirthless cackle!

One by one, the onlookers fled, until the only cats left in the room were Jazzie, Tugger, Hortenseya and Old Deuteronomy; all trying to console a distraught Mistoffelees. "I don't understand it!" he kept saying, looking down at his paws, as though they were somehow the problem. "I just don't understand!"

Tugger shrugged. “At least it wasn't wasps, dude!”

* * *

  
A few days later, Alonzo wandered down Park Road.

He put his nose to the ground and sniffed, his eyes sweeping this way and that for any sign of his half brother.

Then he spotted it. About three yards away, something small and black, lying in the gutter.

Making his way over, he cautiously reached out and picked up the object. It was soggy and caked with dirt, but was unmistakably a shoe. Meritas's dancing shoe!

He gave it a sniff. It still had traces of the kitten’s scent on it!

Looking around, he also found a few wisps of white fur waving in the breeze, but nothing else.

Coming to a conclusion, he raced back to Infirmary to deliver the news.

* * *

  
Jazzie tried to offer Demeter a cup of tea, but the queen shook her head.

Sighing, Jazzie placed it next to five other mugs of stone cold, undrunk tea. _"Must remember to remove those..."_ she thought to herself.  
  
Meanwhile, Munkustrap's bedside table was becoming rather crowded, piled high as it was with flowers, cards and gifts.

"You must try to eat something," said Jazzie, trying to offer Demeter a packet of Kitty chocolate drops. "You must stay strong for Munkustrap. He has lost his son. What would it do to him if he lost his queen also?"  
  
"Oh, don't give me that!" Demeter snapped, completely ignoring the offered food. "Who are you to pass on your burden of guilt to me?!"  
  
She glared at Jazzie, feeling strangely triumphant at the hurt confusion in the other queen's eyes!

She hissed! " _You're_ the reason he's lying there, half dead!”  
  
Jazzie gasped. "That's not true…!" She whispered.  
  
"Isn't it?" Demeter smirked.

"Anyway,” she mocked. “I thought you were a doctor? Aren't you supposed to be making him better?!"  
  
"I cannot work miracles, Demeter!" Jazzie replied coldly.

Equally as cold, the Tortie examined her claws. "And just so you know," she added. "He isn't your mate, so don't start calling him that-!"

"I haven't-!" It still felt strange to Jazzie.

"Your union wasn't consummated. Therefore... technically, I am still his official!"

Jazzie didn't know what to say!  
She tried not to let Demeter's words get to her. But they cut deep all the same.

* * *

  
"There's been a worrying development!" she told her colleagues, later that evening. "It’s been almost a week, but we've seen no improvement!”

Her colleagues were silent.

“So? What are you proposing we do, Jazz?” asked Hortenseya.

The Snowshoe looked at the floor. “I didn't want to have to consider this, but…” She sighed. “We may have to think about switching off his life support."  
  
She observed the sad faces.  
  
"I’ll discuss it with the tribe, first,” she added. “See what they have to say."

* * *

 

She quietly drew up a chair, taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed to Demeter.

To her relief, the queen was slumped against the bed with her head resting on her arms, clearly sound asleep!

Jazzie could at last go near her mate without fear of being hissed at! "Munkustrap?" she whispered. "Munkustrap! S'il vous plaît! Réveillez-vous et parlez-moi. Je suis perdu sans toi!" *1

She thought about the night he had put his arms around her to stop her crying. How she had felt his strength and knew that she was safe. "How will I ever feel safe without you?" She whispered again as she stroked his face. "How will any of us?"

“Indeed,” said a voice.

“Oh!”

She jumped up, to see Coricopat and Tantomile standing behind her! “Bast! You scared me!”

“Sorry to alarm you, Doctor,” said Tantomile. “We just came by to see how our Protector was doing.” Seemingly without thinking, she rested paw on her abdomen- her pregnancy already beginning to stand out against her skinny frame.

“How is he?” asked Coricopat.

“Not good, I'm afraid,” Jazzie sighed. “We’ve had nothing for almost a week. I don’t know what else to do.”

The twins looked at one another. “Perhaps we could help?” Tantomile suggested.

“How?” Asked Jazzie eagerly.

“My brother and I are seers,” Tantomile explained. “We are able to speak with the world of the spirit. If you'll allow us, we might try to see into Munkustrap’s mind, perhaps even communicate with him.”

Jazzie nodded. “Of course!”

The twins moved to the bed. Each placed a paw on Munkustrap’s forehead and closed their eyes. For almost five minutes, they stayed stock still, eyes flickering, chanting in low voices. Then, slowly them. “I'm sorry. We could not contact him,” Tantomile said sadly. She looked at her brother. “ _Should we tell her?”_

_“What? That I just shot our Protector out of the sky? You can tell her!”_

_“An innovative idea, I must say. To capture and overpower a Pahlavi. I wouldn't have thought of that!”_

_“To take such drastic action?! The Pahlavi could have torn him to shreds!”_

_“I just hope he landed in the right place. And in one piece.”_

_“So do I!”_

“No… don't be sorry!” said Jazzie. “You tried your best...”

“We shall leave you in peace, Doctor,” said Coricopat.

With a polite nod, he and Tantomile exited the room.

Fighting back tears, Jazzie leaned over and planted a gentle kiss on the Bengcoon's cold lips. “Goodbye!” She whispered, and with a sigh, left the room.

But failed to notice a finger, gently twitch...

* * *

  
It was early morning- around one o'clock human time. And it seemed that every cat in London had packed themselves into the box-size hospital room, with even more waiting outside in the corridor!

Wearing a scowl as wide as her belly, Jennyanydots barged her way through! “What on Earth is going on???!” She bellowed.

“Come to pay our respects, Miss Jenny!” an old brown tabby explained.

“I appreciate that, Asparagus!” She snapped. “But he's not dead yet! And even if he were, I'd still allow no more than three visitors at a time! Now go on! All of you! Out!!!”

Eventually, in a manner that would have made a sergeant major proud, she herded them all outside and directed them to form an orderly queue, giving each of them no more than two minutes to deliver gifts and say what they needed to say!

Finally, at around five o’clock, only the immediate family remained.

Tugger absentmindedly strummed his guitar. The silence was worse than anything else!

Bombalurina had hold of Munkustrap's paw, distractedly fiddling with the tufts of fur that grew on the back of it and between his fingers. She watched as Lucitana busied herself administering medication into his arm, checking his stats, and adjusting his pillows. “How’s he doing, Luc?” she asked, looking him over. “He looks better today, somehow.”  
  
“His condition is largely unchanged,” Lucitana replied. “You could look at that any way you like... he hasn’t deteriorated, but, we haven’t seen an improvement either.”

“What's that you're giving him?”

“Antibiotics. For the infection-”

“The infection???!”

“Yeah, it's precautionary mainly, what with the wounds he suffered. Twi'll help them heal much faster!”

“So, is he gonna wake up or not?!” Tugger demanded.

“I cannot answer that-” said Lucitana.

“You mean, his brain is damaged?” Demeter cut in.

The Abyssinian hesitated. “It could be…” she offered. “We just don't know…”

“When is the machine going to be switched off?” Asked Old Deuteronomy.

“Tomorrow. Jazzie will do a final test in the morning. Based on the outcome of that…”

“Where is Jazzie, anyway?” Demeter enquired, with a merest hint of a sneer. “I thought she'd be here?”

“She’s taking rest,” Lucitana responded. “God knows the poor thing needs it. And you'd do well to be less unkind!”

Demeter glared at her-!

“I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!” said Alonzo suddenly.

“Who? Jazzie???” Bombi exclaimed.

“No! Macavity! You daft bint!” He retorted.

That earned him a look that could fry steel! “How about I wind that neck in for you?!!!” She growled.

“Peace, the pair of you!” Old Deuteronomy softly scolded. “Remember, hatred has no place here! It will do little to help!”

Tugger looked over at Munkustrap. “You're bloody loving this, aren't you?!”

“Errr… I don't think he can hear you, Tugger!” said Alonzo.

"Sure he can!!!” Tugger replied. “Watch!”

He looked at Munkustrap again and hollered, “I know we have a funny way of showing it, but we really do fucking love you, you big, silver git! Now fucking quit this shit and wake up, goddamnit!!!”

Bombi rolled her eyes. “Nice one, Dr Frankenstein! I'm surprised the nurses didn't think of THAT!”

Misto smirked. “I'll be sure to write that one down, Uncle!” A notepad and pen suddenly appearing in his paws. “...fucking love you... you big... silver... git...” he wrote.

"You know? A song might help?" Lucitana suggested. "In Ireland, we swear by our music!"

"I'd be willing to give anything a try," Tugger conceded and began to play, with the others soon joining in.  
  
_"Take me down this road_ _  
_ _I've been down here once before_ _  
_ _Take me down this road_ _  
_ _Once again never again, forever more_ _  
_ _Take me down this road once more_ _  
_ _Take this love take this life_ _  
_ _Take this blood, it'll never die_ _  
_ _Take this love, take this life_ _  
_ _Take this blood, it'll never die_ _  
_ _This ain't the last goodbye_ _  
_ _Take me down this road_ _  
_ _Just to see a smile on your face_ _  
_ _Take me down this road_ _  
_ _All that is and all that was_ _  
_ _Can be replaced_ _  
_ _Take me down this road once more_ _  
_ _Take this love, take this life_ _  
_ _Take this blood, it'll never die_ _  
_ _Take this love, take this life_ _  
_ _Take this blood, it'll never die_ _  
_ _This ain't the last goodbye_ _  
_ _Take this love, take this life_ _  
_ _Take this blood, it'll never die_ _  
_ _Take this love, take this life_ _  
_ _Take this blood, it'll never die_  
This ain't the last goodbye."  
  
(The Last Goodbye by Black Label Society)  
  
"Summat a mite less depressing, perhaps?" sniffed Lucitana, dabbing her eyes with the back of her paw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no! It's not looking good for poor old Munkus:(
> 
> *1 Please! Wake up and talk to me. I am lost without you!


	12. Chess

_All those arrows you threw, you threw them away_ _  
_ _You kept falling in love, then one day_ _  
_ _When you fell, you fell towards me_ _  
_ _When you crashed in the clouds, you found me_ _  
_ _Oh, please don't go_ _  
_ _I want you so_ _  
_ _I can't let go_ _  
_ _For I lose control_ _  
_ _Get these left handed lovers out of your way_ _  
_ _They look hopeful but you, you should not stay_ _  
_ _If you want me to break down and give you the keys_ _  
_ _I can do that but I can't let you leave_ _  
_ _Oh, please don't go_ _  
_ _I want you so_ _  
_ _I can't let go_  
For I lose control

(Please Don't Go by Barcelona)

 It was early morning. Jazzie took a deep breath, and went numbly through the motions.

"Munkustrap?” She called. “If you can hear me, open your eyes-" Hang on! Was that an eyelid flicker???

Cursing herself for not paying attention, she took hold of his wrist. "Can you squeeze my paw? Munkustrap! Squeeze my paw!”

His paw remained lifeless.

She growled in frustration.

"Please!" She begged. "Munkustrap! Just give me something! Anything!"

She got no response.

Sighing, she replaced his paw and reached back for her clipboard. She tried to write three on it, then gave an angry yell and threw it across the room!

Breathing hard, she sat down on the bed, failing to notice a paw reach up to stroke her face. She gasped, slowly bringing her paw to her cheek, hardly daring to believe it was real!

* * *

  
“TENSEYA!!!”

The Korat practically flew out of her desk chair, sending paper in all directions! “What the…??!! Bast... JAZZ! Are you mental…?!”

"Look!" Cried Jazzie, shoving the clipboard in front of her.

Hortenseya frowned and jammed her pince nez back on her nose, before peering at it. Her eyebrows shot up. “Fifteen? He scored fifteen?!”

Jazzie nodded, fit to burst!

“And he's awake?”  
  
Jazzie beamed. "Yes!!!"  
  
Hortenseya gave her a shake. "Bast, girl! You need to calm yourself!” She scolded. “Breathe…!"

"Ok…!" Jazzie swallowed and obediently took some deep breaths! “He opened his eyes, Tense!” She croaked. “Can you believe it? Cos I can't!”

"You clearly underestimated your mate!" answered Hortenseya, giving her a high five.

“But he isn't-!”

"Oh, he bloody is!” the Korat snapped playfully. “And you'll be having his kittens before you know it!"  
  
"Tenseya!" Jazzie looked slightly aghast!  
  
Hortenseya grinned. "Oops! Sorry, got carried away there!"

* * *

  
“Who are all these people? Where am I?”

He opened an eye, his vision foggy. “Why is half the room dark?”

He tried to lift a paw to his face, but someone stopped him. He tried to protest, but found himself unable to speak, his teeth closing around something man-made. He couldn't swallow. His mouth was dry. He wanted to swallow, but it hurt!

“Alright! We're removing the tubes now!” said a voice. “Hold still!”

He coughed a little as the nurses relieved him of his mouthful of plastic, then groaned as he was hit by stabbing pain that seemed to radiate across the whole of his left side!

Someone placed a comforting paw in his. “Alright,” she said calmly. “You're doing great! Tensey? The ketamine!”

“Got it, Jazz.”

“That won't work!” He muttered.

“I know. I read your notes. They made for some interesting reading, I must say! I'm going to double it up with some Fentanyl.”

“Won't say no... to drugs!”

He was making humour! That surely was a good sign!

While the nurses fussed over him, asking him questions and bringing him water, a barrage of excited Jellicles all piled into the small room at once!

"Oi oi! Look who's awake, everybody!" shouted Rum Tum Tugger.  
  
"How are you feeling, Son?" Old Deuteronomy asked, placing a paw onto Munkustrap's shoulder as though unable to believe he was really alive.  
  
"Like roadkill!" Munkustrap grumbled dejectedly. "I have felt better, but I honestly can't remember when."  
  
"I'm not surprised, Growltiger!"

Munkustrap shot daggers at his brother with his unbandaged eye. “And, who the Hell are you?”

Tugger paused, looking confused. “I'm your Bro! Who else would I be?”

“Oh, really?” said Munkustrap dryly. “Because, for a moment there, I thought Firefrorefiddle had come to pay me a visit.” (He was, of course, referring to Rum Tum Tugger’s vague resemblance to the mythical Fiend Of The Fell.)

It took The Charcoal Bengcoon a moment to get the jest. “Ha! You're as funny as a bellyache, Bro!” He said laughingly and clasped Munkustrap’s paw, “Good to see Old Mackers hasn't dented your sense of humour, eh? You look great, by the way!"  
  
"I look like a donkey's behind," Munkustrap responded sourly. "It's OK, you can say it. I'll just thump you later!"

* * *

Later that night, a strange shadow of luminescent mist drifted into the room unseen. It floated passed a snoring Old Deuteronomy slumped in a chair, and rose up to stand over the bed. 

Something made Munkustrap open his eye. He swept the room with his half gaze, wondering what had woken him.

When it eventually landed upon the large shadow standing over him, he almost leapt out of bed!

Groaning, he could only lie there, enveloped by agony, as the shadow's face came close to his. Burnt amber eyes grinned at him. "Sorry, Brother!” they said. “Didn't SCARE you, did I?"  
  
"It's going to take more than a ghost to scare me!" Munkustrap growled. “And it's just as well you ARE one!”  
  
"Just checking you haven't forgotten our little promise," Poseidon went on.  
  
"Well, I can hardly do anything about it _now,_  can I?" Munkustrap hissed in reply.  
  
Poseidon was about to scoff, "I don't see why… oh."

His ghostly eyes took in the state of the Silver Bengcoon, having only just noticed the dressings, wires and tubes.

He was clearly in a great deal of pain, and his fur was patchy and matted with blood, despite the nurse's best efforts to clean it off. "You look like you had a fight with a lawnmower and lost!" The ghost observed.  
  
"As opposed to you?!" Munkustrap retorted. "No offense, but you look like you were chewed up and spat out by a meat grinder, then put back together using Sellotape! Oh, and let's not forget the fact that you're also DEAD!"  
  
"Alright! You made your point!" The ghost huffed. "Being incapacitated clearly hasn't blunted your sharp tongue, has it?"  
  
"Don't worry, Pos!" Munkustrap promised. "I gave you my word, now just cut me some slack, ok! I’ll begin searching when I can actually move!"  
  
"Searching for what?"

Old Deuteronomy looked up groggily. "Who are you talking to?"  
  
Munkustrap looked at Poseidon, but the ghost had vanished. So he decided to tell to his father about what had happened while he'd been 'out of it'. When he finished recounting, Old Deuteronomy was quiet for a long time. "So? You saw my son?" he said at last.

Munkustrap nodded. "Do you know where he is buried?"  
  
"It is somewhere beneath the new reception building, I believe," Old Deuteronomy replied. "Finding him will be tricky, but I think we owe him his last dying wish. He was a diligent Protector. Lived fast, died young, never thinking of himself. Much like you. Much like all of our Protectors, in fact.” He added with a chuckle, “And I have to say, a one eyed Protector is not such an uncommon thing!"

"Yeah..." Munkustrap reached up to touch the bandage and winced.

“What did the nurses say?” Asked his father.

“Not much,” he sighed. “Just that it would most likely heal, but only time would tell how badly the sight’s been affected. There's some permanent damage, but paws crossed, I'll still be able to see. Having one eye sucks!"  
  
"Better than having none at all, though!" Old Deuteronomy said wisely.  
  
"I _knew_ you were going to say that!" His son griped.

* * *

  
Munkustrap opened his eye some time later, to find someone else staring down at him. He smiled, but was puzzled when she didn't smile back. "Demi? My love?" he asked. "What is it?"  
  
Her eyes clouded over. She collapsed forwards, clutching his arm. She couldn't say it.

A cold feeling entered the pit of his stomach. He tried to sit up, but was prevented from doing so by the searing pain that shot through him! He gritted his teeth and had a second attempt, but his body continued to protest. Grimacing, he fell back, his breathing ragged. "Demeter?" he gasped. "Tell me... what’s wrong! Where's Meritas?"  
  
"He's- he's…" Demeter stammered and shook her head.  
  
"What!?"  
  
"He's dead!" She cried.  
  
There was a long pause.

Munkustrap searched her eyes, wondering if this was some sort of sick joke. "Dead...?" he whispered. "How...?"  
  
"He went missing, a few days ago," she tearfully explained. "All we found was this." She showed him the shoe. "Mistoffelees tried his best, but he was unable to bring him back…" Her voice trailed away and she was met with silence.  
  
Munkustrap didn't hear anything else she said. Or even notice her leave. Her words echoed around his head like a church bell.

It couldn't be true. How could it be true? He had been safe! He had been happy and cheeky and playing and… his boy. His sweet, precious boy? No, it had to be a lie! Someone was fucking with him! He couldn't be dead… he couldn't be!  

Out of the small window, the bright, sunny morning suddenly turned dark...

* * *

  
Jazzie walked towards the ICU room, a little perturbed by the sudden gale that was throwing itself against the windows, lashing the brittle panes with great sheets of water! Where only five minutes before, it had been the perfect model of a spring day, with not a cloud in the sky!

Shrugging, she made her way through the door with the intention of informing the occupant that he would be moved to the general ward later that afternoon.

But instead of her usually tranquil patient, what greeted her was an enraged Bengcoon clambering out of the bed, taking the drip wire with him!

"Munkustrap!" she cried. "What are you doing-?!"  
  
"Have to find my son…!" Came the gruff reply.  
  
She started to panic! "Stop! You'll tear your stitches…! NURSE!!!"  
  
Waddling as fast as she could, Jennyanydots came to her aid. "Munkustrap! If you don't calm down, we’ll have no choice but to sedate you!" She puffed, as she and Jazzie struggled to restrain him!

Not an easy task. For though out of condition, he was still stronger than the two of them combined! However, the act of moving was enough to take his breath away, and he fell back weakly, shielding his face from the worried queens, trying to hide the tears, but was unable to contain his angry and bitter sobs. “Tell me, this isn't happening!” He croaked.

Jazzie placed a sympathetic paw on his shoulder, unsure of what else to do or say. She desperately wanted to gather him into her arms and hold him, but was unsure of how he’d respond.

"I'm so sorry, Munkustrap..." she whispered.

"Why him?" He muttered, more to himself than to her. "Why am I alive and not him? It doesn't make sense…!"  
  
She tried to stroke his face, but he batted her off and turned away.

He refused to allow Jennyanydots to replace the wires he’d torn out, and hissed at either of them when they tried to get near!

Jazzie tried not to let her hurt feelings show, but the Gumbie cat must have read her face, because she placed a motherly paw on her arm, then looked sadly at the tom.

"Munkustrap," she said gently. “We're just trying to help-!"  
  
"I don't want your help! Just leave me the fuck alone!" he snapped.

It was then that Jazzie noticed his pupils had dilated, expanding until his eyes were almost completely black! A spot of gold began to glow from within, and in a dark voice, he uttered chilling words, "Someone is going to pay for this! I will not rest until they do!"  
  
She looked at Jennyanydots. Her face registered alarm, but Jenny had a knowing look on hers. “I’ll fetch Deuteronomy!” She said, and scampered off as fast as her engorged belly would allow!

At the same moment there came a blinding flash, quickly followed by a low, rumble!

The rumble grew into a thunderous roar!

Jazzie backed away from Munkustrap and pressed herself into the wall- just as the lights blew out!

There were cries of panic. A few voices were heard to shout, “Macavity!”

This was transcended by a strange whirring noise, as the backup generators automatically kicked into action. Slowly, the emergency lights flickered on, casting eerie shadows on the walls.  
  
Meanwhile, the wind continued to blow, turning to a multitude of tortured screams as it rattled the windows like some raging, black hydra! The screams grew deafening, bringing with them the sounds of smashing glass and more cries of panic!

Jazzie covered her ears and cowered into the corner. “Make it STOP!” She begged.

Fearing the Infirmary would collapse, she was about to order a Code Red, when an authoritative voice shouted over the din, “SON! STOP THIS, RIGHT NOW! You must calm yourself or you will destroy the Junkyard! You know better than to let your anger get the better of you!!!"  
  
Oblivious to the destruction he was causing, the Bengcoon hardly noticed someone take hold of his paw.

Mistoffelees, with his eyes glowing blue, was whispering something strange and indecipherable.

Old Deuteronomy took hold of Munkustrap's other paw, and almost immediately, the wind ceased its monstrous howling. The rain stopped lashing.

Slowly, the power came back on. Birds that had been silenced began to sing once more and the sun appeared, shining as though the storm had never occured in the first place.

Utterly drained, the fraught Bengcoon heaved a shuddering sigh and passed out.

Mistoffelees looked over at Old Deuteronomy.

Both breathed collective sighs of relief.

"Thank Heaviside for that!" Said the Magician. He let go of his father's paw and let it drop by his side.  
  
"Can someone tell me what the Hell is going on?!" Jazzie demanded.

She stumbled over and placed her stethoscope onto Munkustrap's chest to check he was ok. Thankfully, he was!  
  
"Fear not, Doctor," Old Deuteronomy reassured her. He kept hold of Munkustrap's paw as he proceeded to explain, "As you may have gathered by now, a number of Jellicles are in possession of magical powers, some more powerful than others. Everyone knows about Macavity, and my Grandson here, but you see... magic is a complex entity that affects cats in many different ways."  
  
"I knew Munkustrap had magic," Jazzie said thoughtfully. "He showed me how he could heal, but wouldn't tell me about his other abilities-"  
  
"There’s a good reason for that," Old Deuteronomy told her solemnly, motioning to the window at the now blue sky. "What we just witnessed was not caused by the weather, but by dark magic."  
  
Noticing Jazzie's blank expression, Mistoffelees piped up, "There are two types of magic. Light and Dark.” He held up his paw and extended his thumb to represent, ‘Light magic’ and his forefinger to represent, ‘Dark magic.’ “My Grandfather and the Witches Twins possess mainly light, while I have an even balance of both, which is how I am able to do many things. My father and uncle, on the other paw, possess mainly Dark.

"Father was actually forbidden to use his powers, until such a time comes when he will have need of them. But, for whatever reason, some magic must have leaked out. Maybe, because his mind is fractured, or he is too weak to hold it back. I don't know-"  
  
"Why?" asked Jazzie, looking puzzled. "I mean, why is he forbidden from using his magic? He healed my paw, ok?"  
  
"That was the light magic, of which he has very little of,” said Old Deuteronomy. “Hence, why he is only able to heal small injuries. The dark magic would make him much more powerful. More powerful than Macavity if he were to use it. But it would also turn him evil.”  
  
Jazzie gasped, "Evil?!"  
  
Suddenly, she remembered the night he had gotten angry, and how it had literally choked the air around her. She had been alarmed by it, but at the same time, inexplicably allured. Now, she just felt torn. She didn't know this tom as well as she thought she did! He'd sworn to her that he was nothing like his sadistic brother, but how true was that really?

"Dark magic is powerful, but unpredictable. You need the light magic in order to control it," Old Deuteronomy carried on. "Otherwise it takes over the mind, especially if it is triggered by a seismic event, such as the loss of a child. All I can say is this: it's a good job Munkustrap is unwell, or things could have been much worse.” He assured Jazzie, “He should be fine when he wakes up."  
  
"Magic. It can be a blessing and a curse,” Misto concluded with a shrug.  
  
"Quite right," praised Old Deuteronomy. "Now,” he said. “Why don't we get a cup of tea? Come along, Jazzie, I know that was a lot to take in. I shall deal with the sleeping Tiger when he wakes."  
  
Jazzie nodded and dazedly followed the Jellicle Leader and Magician to the kitchen. She was going to need a few extra teaspoons of sugar in her tea!

* * *

  
Munkustrap was moved to the general ward later that day, but no one was in the mood for celebrating. He stared blankly up at the ceiling, feeling numb.  
  
Reaching down, he picked the shoe up from the bed. Clutching it tightly, he closed his eyes and uttered a quiet prayer,  
  
_"I don't believe in an interventionist God_ _  
_ _But I know, darling, that you do_ _  
_ _But if I did I would kneel down and ask Her_ _  
_ _Not to intervene when it came to you_ _  
_ _Not to touch a hair on your head_ _  
_ _To leave you as you are_ _  
_ _And if She felt She had to direct you_ _  
_ _Then direct you into my arms_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_ _  
_ _Into my arms_ _  
_ _And I don't believe in the existence of angels_ _  
_ _But looking at you I wonder if that's true_ _  
_ _But if I did I would summon them together_ _  
_ _And ask them to watch over you_ _  
_ _To each burn a candle for you_ _  
_ _To make bright and clear your path_ _  
_ _And to walk, like Bastet, in grace and love_ _  
_ _And guide you into my arms_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_ _  
_ _Into my arms_ _  
_ _But I believe in Love_ _  
_ _And I know that you do too_ _  
_ _And I believe in some kind of path_ _  
_ _That we can walk down, me and you_ _  
_ _So keep your candles burning_ _  
_ _And make her journey bright and pure_ _  
_ _That she will keep returning_ _  
_ _Always and evermore_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_ _  
_ _Into my arms, O Lord_  
Into my…"  
  
(Into My Arms by Nick Cave)  
  
A lump suddenly formed in his throat, cutting off his voice, as grief threatened to overwhelm him again. He pinched the corners of his eyes and tried to hold it back, but it was a losing battle. "You know, he may still be alive," said Old Deuteronomy, quietly.  
  
"What makes you say that?" Munkustrap replied, his voice brittle. "If Mistoffelees failed to bring him back, then surely that is conclusive?"  
  
"Not necessarily," Old Deuteronomy disagreed. "Has his body been found?"  
  
"Just this shoe and some fur, according to Demeter…" Munkustrap said listlessly.  
  
"That is not his body," Old Deuteronomy reasoned. "Until that is found, there will always be a thread of hope. Small comfort, I know. But it is there."  
  
"Hope?" asked Munkustrap incredulously. "What use is hope? If it were up to me I would erase it from the dictionary on account of its uselessness!"  
  
Old Deuteronomy placed a comforting paw on top of his. "I know what you're going through, my son," he said sadly. "For I have lost fifteen, and I suffer just as you do. The pride I felt when they achieved the mark of Protectorship was always marred with sadness, for I always felt like I was giving my blessing for their death sentence. It matters not whether it happens once, or fifteen times. The pain is always the same. Fourteenth Protector Nevagus's body was never found, but I have never lost hope that, someday, I shall find him alive and well."  
  
Munkustrap stared, aghast at the wise, old tom. "Sir!" He spluttered. "I never knew…!"  
  
"Like all pain," Old Deuteronomy continued. "This too, shall pass. Thank goodness you are returned to us, but, I urge you, do not lose yourself to grief. We do not want another tempest like the one we had this morning!"  
  
"Yeeeeah. Sorry about that. I was not myself…" Munkustrap said guiltily.  
  
Old Deuteronomy moved his paw to his son's shoulder. "You were upset. That is understandable," he said. "We all are. But you must remember that you are not your emotions, nor do they control you. A Protector must have full control of them at all times. Is that understood?"  
  
Munkustrap nodded and said humbly, "Yes Sir, I know. I was careless. I'll be more careful in future."  
  
Old Deuteronomy smiled, and gave him one last pat on the shoulder. "Good lad. Now, I must be getting back to the vicarage. Skimbleshanks will guide me on his way to the station. Best of luck with your recovery. I shall pray for a speedy one."  
  
Munkustrap dipped his head and returned a reluctant smile. "God bless you, Father. Safe journey now."

* * *

  
The following night, Rum Tum Tugger approached Munkustrap's bedside, whistling merrily, as though the recent events were somehow nothing whatsoever to do with him.

He stopped whistling and stared. "Man! What are you doing?!"  
  
Munkustrap looked up. It was obvious he'd been trying to prize off the plasters that held his drip in place, and had that look of someone who'd been well and truly rumbled. He sighed. "I was bored! I'm not used to feeling so… useless! I tried reading- have you ever tried reading with one eye?"  
  
Tugger gave a nonchalant shrug. "Can't say I have."

"Yeah, I’d be surprised if you had. Read something, I mean," came the curt reply.

Tugger, deciding to ignore the dig. "Look! I can either go tell Nurse?" He suggested. "Or you can stop fiddling with yourself and play this."

He held up a battered cardboard box. Written in flaked gold letters across the top, that had once been black, now faded to a greyish green, was the word Chess.

Munkustrap made a face. He just wanted to be left alone! "Tugger! I'm really not in the mood-" he began, scraping the barrel for some kind of excuse to get rid of him.

But before his brother could give another negative response, Tugger opened the box and began to set the game up on a small table, which he then plonked in front of the less than happy Silver Bengcoon. “Oh! Enough of the 'Me me me' already!” He griped. “You think _you_ got it bad? Well, let me tell _you!_ On my way to getting this earlier, I got caught in the _mother_ of all storms! Yeah! Came out of bloody nowhere, it did! Got bloody soaked, an all! Took all afternoon to get the tangles out of my mane. Tsk!" He haughtily flicked his quiff.

Munkustrap gave him a look of pure mordacity. "My heart bleeds for you. Truly, it does."  
  
Again, Tugger decided to ignore him. "Your move first!” He said. “Go on! We used to love playing this on a rainy day! Speaking of which, did I forget to mention-?"

"No, but I'm quite sure you're about to remind me!" Munkustrap interjected, massaging the bridge of his nose.  
  
Eventually, and reluctantly, he humored his brother by playing the silly game, mainly to stop him asking anymore stupid questions about the freaking storm!

"So? How you doin, anyway?" Tugger asked. He never could handle silence for too long, much to Munkustrap's annoyance.  
  
"How do you think?" he growled, but then softened his tone, "Oh, you know… getting there. I can barely move, my eye feels like someone stuck pins in it, my body looks like a sodding road map and my brain feels like it's made of Swiss Cheese... Oh! And did I forget to mention my son is missing, presumed dead? Apart from that, friend, I couldn't be more chipper!"

His brother started to place a sympathetic paw on his shoulder, but quickly withdrew it when Munkustrap hissed at him. "Oh! Sorry man! Forgot that was your bad one!"

"Really? Does the fucking great sling not give it away?"

Tugger shrugged again and moved one of his pawns. They were quiet for a few minutes before he said, "We'll find him, y'know."

Munkustrap took out one of his knights. "I’d share your optimism, if I thought it was realistic!"

"Man!" Tugger fumed. "The glass is always half empty with you, ain't it? I'm only trying to cheer you up! Geesh!"

"I’d much rather you didn't!" Munkustrap responded, unable, or unwilling, to keep the sarcastic tone out of his voice. "Besides, nothing wrong with pessimism. Leave disappointment to the optimists, I say. Although occasionally, one _is_ pleasantly surprised…"

He looked down. He had Tugger's king surrounded. "Checkmate, Brother!"

Tugger looked a little less enthusiastic all of a sudden.

"Oh no! _You_ wanted to play!" said Munkustrap with a smirk when his brother suggested playing a different game. “Let's call it best of three, shall we? And why don't we make it a little more interesting while we're at it?"

He went on to win, not just the next two games, but another six!

“I must admit, this is actually rather fun!” He said, with a gleam in his eye.

Tugger looked at him in consternation, and grudgingly handed over twenty shillings. "How're you doing that?!" He demanded. "Are you cheating or something?" He looked under the table, just to be sure his brother wasn’t hiding anything.

"Nope," Munkustrap replied. "Amazing how I can still thrash you, even with half my brain cells missing, eh?"  
  
"Grrr!" Feeling thoroughly fed up, Tugger stuffed the board and pieces back in the box and tossed it aside. "Not fair, dude! You’re so darn competitive all the time?!"  
  
"I'm not competitive!" Munkustrap argued with a smirk. "Well. Not as long as I'm winning, anyway!"  
  
His smile faded and he sighed, his bad mood starting to return with a vengeance. But before he could sink back into his depressed state, Tugger brightened. "Hey! I know something we can play that I _always_ beat you at!"

"Is it hide and seek, by any chance?” his brother asked hopefully, really wishing he'd stop trying to cheer him up and just go away! “As I recall, you always were the best at that. Tell you what. You hide, I'll count to a million.”

“Dude, you can't count to a million!”

“Watch me!”

“You can't even count to a hundred!”

“Neither can you, evidently!”

Tugger smiled mischievously. “I got a much better idea!”

“If it's truth or dare, count me out! Remember what happened last time?”

“What did happen last time?”

“I'd rather not remember!” 

* * *

  
Jazzie was busy doing her ward rounds, when she heard a curious noise coming from the general ward.

"Hoooot! Hoot, hooohooooooot!"

Frowning, she made her way over, wondering who'd let tawny owls into the infirmary! Perhaps it was Misto up to his tricks again?

But no! There was Munkustrap, sitting up in bed, cupping his paws over his lips and blowing into them!

Tugger laughed. “Yeah, not bad, dude. But not as good as this!

"Toowhit! Toowhit!"

"Sounds more like a strangled hen to me!" Munkustrap said snidely.

"Yeah? Well! At least I don't smell like donkey farts!" Tugger shot back.

"That's because you smell like a dead one!" Munkustrap returned.

He started to laugh, but thought better of it! “Oooh! Ow! Should not have done that!”

Tugger frowned at his brother's obvious pained expression. “You alright?”

“Yeah. Fine,” came the debilitated reply. “Just... smarted a bit…!”

Tugger grinned. "Well, they say laughter _is_ the best medicine!"

"Yeah. Thanks. I'll remember that next time I get a _broken rib!"_

Jazzie giggled silently, listening to their banter. "Quiet, you two!" she scolded. “It sounds like a menagerie in here!”

"Sorry, Nurse!" Said the brothers in unison.

“It’s ok. Here, drink this," she said to Munkustrap, and handed him a feeder full of pink liquid (to the cats, it was an unappetizing dull yellow).

The tomcat looked at it suspiciously. “What is it?”

"My own cocktail of vitamins, minerals and electrolytes that your body may have lost," she stated factually, watching him give it a tentative sniff and wrinkle his nose. “I'm not going to lie to you, it tastes vile.”

“Why do I have to drink it?”

“It's good for you.”

“Worst tasting things always are,” he grumbled.

Tugger chimed in, “Dude! Quit being a pansy and down the hatch already! Can't be that bad!”

Munkustrap gave him a look. “You want to try it?”

“No.”

“Well then, shut up!”

In one swift movement he necked the vial and handed it back. "Hmmm. Mud flavoured coal!" He shuddered. Then shot a glare at his brother, who was doubled up laughing!

"It will help you to recover more quickly! I swear by it!" Jazzie insisted, trying to keep a straight face. Tugger's laugh was infectious!  
  
"It’d better," Munkustrap grumbled. "I have a sneaky suspicion if I drink anymore, it may finish Tugger off!"  
  
"Hopefully for good!" He muttered under his breath, as his brother continued to howl.

* * *

  
A few hours later, Jazzie returned to Munkustrap’s cubicle, clipboard in paw. “Munkustrap? I need to… oh!”

He wasn't there! His bed was bed empty!

“You needed to what?”

Jazzie spun round! “Damnit! You scared me!” She exclaimed. “What are you doing now?”

Munkustrap limped back into the cubicle, dragging the drip stand behind him. “Fancied a walk.”

He sank painfully into a chair and looked at her impatiently. “Well?”

Jazzie pulled up another chair and sat opposite him.She decided to cut right to the chase. “It's about your notes,” she said.

“Mhm?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“About?”

“Heroin misuse?”

His expression didn't change. “What is there to tell?”

“Well...” she looked at the notes, “It says here, you were treated for withdrawal back in 1975… you were quite young… less than a year?”

“Why is that important?”

“Sorry. I know it must be difficult for you. I just wish to update things that's all. We also had trouble treating you because of it.”

He pursed his lips. If he could have, he would've shrugged. “It was a long time ago. I don't really remember, nor do I wish to.”

She placed a paw on his. “You know, you _can_ talk to me about it,” she told him gently.

He looked at the paw and frowned. “Why would I want to do that?”

“What-?” Jazzie looked confused. He was acting very strangely!

“Why would I talk to you about it?” he repeated. “I don't know you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeer...some of you may be cheering, whereas some of you may be yelling "Noooooo!" Which are you?
> 
> And as for you, Munkus and Tugger! Will you two STOP BICKERING!  
> I'll let you off, Demi. I can kind of understand why you're mad at Jazzie. If it had been me, I'd have taken her eyes out with a spoon, personally.


	13. The Great Rumpus Cat

_You will always be my baby_ _  
_ _I'm always thinking of you baby, yeah_ _  
_ _  
_ _Touch me in the morning_ _  
_ _And last thing at night_ _  
_ _Keep my body warm baby_ _  
_ _You know it feels right_ _  
_ _Take a little higher_ _  
_ _I'm taking it too (too)_ _  
_ _Tell me what you're feeling_ _  
_ _I feel it with you_ _  
_ _  
_ _We can only understand what we are shown_ _  
_ _How was I supposed to know our love would grow?_ _  
_ _  
_ _Move a little closer_ _  
_ _Make sure I'm looking up_ _  
_ _Heal me with your love baby_ _  
_ _I need you so much_ _  
_ _I need you so much_ _  
_ _I need you so much_ _  
_ _  
_ _Hey_ _  
_ _Ooh_ _  
_ _Ooh_ _  
_ _  
_ _We can only understand what we are shown_ _  
_ _How was I supposed to know our love would grow?_ _  
_ _  
_ _You touch my mind in special places_ _  
_ _My heart races with you_ _  
_ _I'll take your love and I'll take my chances_ _  
_ _I'll take them with you_ _  
_ _  
_ _We can only understand what we are shown_ _  
_ _How was I supposed to know our love would grow?_ _  
_ _  
_ _You touch my mind in special places_ _  
_ _My heart races with you!_  
  
(Touch Me by DJ Rui Da Silva)

“What?!” If Jazzie's skin had been visible, the colour would have drained from it! “What do you mean you don't know who I am?!”

He frowned. “Sorry, am I missing something? You're the nurse treating me... we met the other day?”

She started to shake her head. “No! I'm your mate! You rescued me! We got together at the Ball!”

He looked stunned. “We haven't had the ball yet.”

“Bast!” She put her head in her paws. This couldn't be happening!

She searched his face, looking for a sign. But there was nothing. His expression bore no recognition.

“You must remember something?!” She pleaded. “I love you! You love me…!”

“No he doesn't! He loves me!”

Demeter walked in and put her arms around him. “Isn't that right, sweetheart?” She simpered, nuzzling his face, then gave Jazzie a look of utter contempt. "Thank you, nurse! Your work is done here. My mate and I wish to be alone!”

Flashing her a hateful glare, Jazzie got up. She looked at Munkustrap, but he wouldn't meet her gaze, so she stormed out, tearing the curtain shut behind her!

Heaving a heavy sigh, she blinked back tears and was about to head towards her lab, when she collided with something broad and fluffy!

Strong arms caught her. “Whoa! Steady there, Doll Face! What's up?”

She looked up, and promptly burst into tears!  
In response, Tugger folded her into his arms. "Hey! It's ok," he soothed, gently stroking her head. "I'm here." He began to purr.

“T-Thank you!" she said, her voice thick with emotion. "Sorry! This is very… unprofessional! I'm just so... drained…!"

"I know," he said understandingly. "He's been an asshole to you, hasn't he?"

“He doesn't remember me!” She sobbed. “Everything we've been through- it means nothing! I'm nothing to him!!!”

“Now, hold on a minute!” He took her by the shoulders. “You're about as far from nothing as is possible to go! Hell, you saved that guy’s life, and this is how he repays you!? By making you feel worthless? Fuck man! You deserve better than that! You deserve everything! I'll give you everything. You just gotta say it, babe!”

With that he reached down and kissed her. Gently at first, but then deepened it. Craving the love this tom was perfectly willing to give, her paws reached up to pull him closer, and was almost lost for a moment... when a sudden wave of guilt hit her like a punch in the gut and she forcibly pushed him back. "Mon Dieu!" She stammered, touching her lips, unable to believe what she'd done. Had anyone seen!? "I'm sorry!" she gasped, backing away from him. "I can't…!"  
  
She turned and ran! Stumbling down the steps to the basement, she almost fell into her lab! Hearing the soft pad of pursuing feet, she quickly slammed the door and collapsed against it, pulling her knees up to her chest. Then she hung her head and cried.  
  
_"Lay a whisper on my pillow_ _  
_ _Leave the winter on the ground_ _  
_ _I wake up lonely, there's air of silence_ _  
_ _In the bedroom and all around_ _  
_ _Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away_ _  
_ _  
_ _It must have been love but it's over now_ _  
_ _It must have been good but I lost it somehow_ _  
_ _It must have been love but it's over now_ _  
_ _From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out_ _  
_ _  
_ _Make-believing we're together_ _  
_ _That I'm sheltered by your heart_ _  
_ _But in and outside I've turned to water_ _  
_ _Like a teardrop in your palm_ _  
_ _And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away_ _  
_ _  
_ _It must have been love but it's over now_ _  
_ _It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without_ _  
_ _It must have been love but it's over now_ _  
_ _It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows_ _  
_ _It's where the wind blows_ _  
_ _It must have been love but it's over now_ _  
_ _It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without_ _  
_ _It must have been love but it's over now_ _  
_ _It's where the water flows..."_  
  
(It Must've Been Love by Roxette)

* * *

  
Unbeknownst to her and Tugger, Munkustrap had seen the entire episode through a gap in the curtains. At first, he didn't really know what to make of it all.

“Can I get you anything, my sweet?” Demeter drawled in his ear. She was in a good mood today! It struck him as odd for some reason.

“Could you get me another jug of water?” he asked. “The one I've got tastes a bit stale.”

“Sure.” She planted a chaste kiss on his lips and sacheyed out.

He sighed and tried to go back to reading his book. One entitled: The Bhagavad Gita: As It Is, by His Divine Grace A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Pradhupáda. It took all his concentration, because he still had only one eye to work with.

In all fairness, the vision in his left eye was beginning to improve, but it was marred by a dark smudge. It was like trying to see through a murky pond, and would throb if he tried to focus on one thing for too long, so had to remember either to blink periodically, or look elsewhere. Both manoeuvres stung like a thousand wasps!  
  
Finally, he gave up when he realised he'd been reading the same paragraph for over ten minutes. One which read:

 _'You have every right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty. Text 47 Page 134'_  
  
He shut the book and tossed it onto the bed. Something was weighing heavily on his mind, but, try as he might, he couldn't quite grasp what it was.

He couldn't get the image of the nurse out of his head. The hurt in her sky lit eyes. The sight of her with her tongue down his brother's throat…!

In a bid to distract himself, he reached over and picked up a card from the bedside table. It had been lovingly crafted using an old cereal box, and decorated with cut out shapes and paw prints, and made him smile a little as he read the message inside:  
  
_Get wel soon Dad wee awll luv yoo and wEe mis yoo verry mutch and bi wee wee meEn Victoreeya and ElecteRa and Xsectera and Jamiyeema Oh and Rumpleteeeezerrr sends kisiz Yucky!_  
  
_XXXXXXXXX_  
  
He chuckled, and went to replace the card. Then accidentally knocked over the water jug! "Curses!" he muttered, as it hit floor with a clatter, spilling water everywhere!  
  
About to call for one of the nurses, he happened to glance down, and got the shock of his life! That drawn face staring back at him was not one he recognised!

Slowly, he touched his cheek bone. The reflection in the puddle did the same, its own bruised and hollow. "My God," he thought. "I look truly awful."  
  
This wouldn't normally have been an issue, as it would have been for, say, Rum Tum Tugger; were it not for the fact that he really did look as though he had been to Hell and back. His left eye was a mess, there were bags under both eyes and his face was battered and scarred.  
  
He looked away in disgust, thinking despondently to himself, "What use am I to anyone like this? I was better off dead! Better dead than obsolete!"  
  
_"I'm home again, I won the war, and now I am behind your door._ _  
_ _I tried so hard to obey the law, and see the meaning of this all._ _  
_ _Remember me? Before the war._ _  
_ _I'm the one who lived next door. Seems long ago_ _  
_ _As you can see, when you look at me, I'm pieces of what I used to be._ _  
_ _It's easier when you don't see me, standing on my own two feet._ _  
_ _I'm taller when I sit here still, you ask are all my dreams fulfilled._ _  
_ _They made me a heart of steal, the kind that bullets cannot see, yeah._ _  
_ _  
_ _Nothing's what it seems to be,_ _  
_ _I'm a replica, I'm a replica_ _  
_ _Empty shell inside of me_ _  
_ _I'm not myself, I'm a replica of me_ _  
_ _  
_ _The light is green, my slate is clean, new life to fill the hole in me. I had no name, last December, Jellicles Eve I can't remember._ _  
_ _I am in constant pain, I see your shadow in the rain. I painted all your pigeons red, I wish I had stayed home instead, yeah._ _  
_ _  
_ _Nothing's what it seems to be,_ _  
_ _I'm a replica, I'm a replica_ _  
_ _Empty shell inside of me_ _  
_ _I'm not myself, I'm a replica of me_ _  
_ _  
_ _Are you gonna leave me now, when it is all over_ _  
_ _Are you gonna leave me, is my world now over_ _  
_ _  
_ _Raising from the place I've been, and trying to keep my home base clean. Now I'm here and won't go back, believe._ _  
_ _I fall asleep and dream a dream, I'm floating in a silent scream. No-ones placing blame on me_ _  
_ _But nothing's what it seems to be, yeah._ _  
_ _  
_ _Nothing's what it seems to be,_ _  
_ _I'm a replica, I'm a replica_ _  
_ _Empty shell inside of me_ _  
_ _I'm not myself, I'm a replica of me."_  
  
(Replica by Sonata Artica)  
  
Sighing, he went to press the buzzer, when who should come breezing through the curtain?

Whistling a merry tune to himself, Mistoffelees was about to address his father in an equally cheerful manner, when he stopped and instantly noticed the water sloshing under his feet. Rolling his eyes, he shook his head and gave a twirl of his index digit. "Presto!"  
  
The water immediately lifted up in a single sheet, poured itself back into the levitating jug, and landed back on the table. At which point, Mistoffelees advised his father, "You might want to get some more water. I can't guarantee I managed to get all the bits out! Sorry!"  
  
Munkustrap didn't reply, or show him any form of acknowledgment.

What was the matter with him?

Misto sighed. Of course. The poor sod had nothing to be cheerful about at the moment, and he wasn't exactly a cheerful fellow at the best of times!

The Black Angora gave a shrug, remembering the real reason why he was there (and it wasn't to do the spring cleaning!)

Without pausing to provide any sort of explanation, he placed his paw onto his father's shoulder and gazed intently into his eyes. His own eyes began to glow electric blue.

A few heartbeats passed. Then suddenly, Munkustrap gasped and held a paw to his head!

From out of nowhere, memories came flooding back into his rattled brain. All at once, he could remember things! The battle! The blood! The screams! He began to recall the Ball, the Dance off, and who it had all been for-! "Ooooh!" he moaned, putting his head in his paws. "I've outdone myself this time, with regards to the complete and total ARSE department! Now she and Tugger are…” He looked up. “OH, FUCK!"  
  
He turned frantically to Mistoffelees. "I can't lose her! Not to that Arsewipe!"  
  
There was a desperate look in his eyes, but Mistoffelees shook his head. "I can’t help you, not this time," he said quietly. "But if you come with me, I can take you to someone who can."  
  
Confusion flashed up in Munkustrap's eyes.

Misto stared. “What? What's wrong?”

Munkustrap massaged his forehead and frowned. “Deja vu,” he muttered.  
  
Misto shook his head. He was starting to get impatient. "Look, he’s the only one who can help you,” he explained. “I think you know that. We can go now if you like, before Demi comes back."

He was about to perform a conjuring turn on them both, when Munkustrap stopped him-

"Wait-!"

Misto looked annoyed. He had better things to do than run around after his invalid father all afternoon!

Ignoring him, Munkustrap held out his good arm. "Ok, I'll go,” he said. “But first, you have to help me up!"

Mistoffelees stared at him. “Why… what...?”

Munkustrap rolled his eyes. "Fine! I'll help myself up!" He growled.

Using the arms of the chair for support, he painfully levered himself out of it, grimacing as he did so. Once on his feet, he carefully held onto his side and set his jaw. Then limped determinedly out of the cubicle, knocking the jug out of Demeter's paws by accident!

“Darling! Where are you going?!” She cried. "Damned if I know!" Mistoffelees muttered, following after him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tugger was still trying to coax Jazzie out of her lab. "Jazzie!" he sighed to the locked door. "Jazz! I was only trying to help! Please, open up! We can talk about this…!"

He was answered by a muffled, "Allez-vous en!"  
  
"Oh, come on, Jazz!” He persisted. “Please, come on out! I love ya, that's all! Look! I'm sorry!" He leaned heavily against the door. "Heaviside knows, you drive me crazy!" he groaned.  
  
_I never meant to cause you any sorrow_ _  
_ _I never meant to cause you any pain_ _  
_ _I only wanted to one time to see you laughing_ _  
_ _I only wanted to see you_ _  
_ _Laughing in the purple rain_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _I only wanted to see you_ _  
_ _Bathing in the purple rain_ _  
_ _  
_ _I never wanted to be your weekend lover_ _  
_ _I only wanted to be some kind of friend_ _  
_ _Baby, I could never steal you from another_ _  
_ _It's such a shame our friendship had to end_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _I only wanted to see you_ _  
_ _Underneath the purple rain_ _  
_ _  
_ _Honey, I know, I know_ _  
_ _I know times are changing_ _  
_ _It's time we all reach out_ _  
_ _For something new, that means you too_ _  
_ _You say you want a leader_ _  
_ _But you can't seem to make up your mind_ _  
_ _I think you better close it_ _  
_ _And let me guide you to the purple rain_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _  
_ _If you know what I'm singing about up here_ _  
_ _C'mon, raise your hand_ _  
_ _Purple rain, purple rain_ _  
_ _I only want to see you_ _  
_ _Only want to see you_ _  
_ _In the purple rain."_  
  
(Purple Rain by Prince)  
  
Slowly, the door creaked open. Rum Tum Tugger walked in, carefully closing it behind him…

* * *

Munkustrap reached Jazzie's lab, just in time to see the door click shut.

He tried the handle, but it was locked! His heavy heart sank even further. “Jazz!” He called. “Jazzie! It's me!”

There was no answer.

“Don't do this!" He begged. "Goddamnit, if I could break down this door, you know I would!"  
  
To his surprise, the door actually opened a fraction, and Jazzie's tear stained face glared out at him.

Behind her, he could make out his swine of a brother’s guilty silhouette, trying his best to keep out of sight, and that made Munkustrap even angrier! The ball was in his court and he knew it, but to betray his own brother?! “Why am I even surprised by that?” thought Munkustrap.

"What do you want?" Jazzie asked coldly, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He stared at her, his eyes flickering to what he could see of Tugger, then back to her again. "Seriously?” he demanded. “Him???”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. "You really hurt me!" she whispered.

He felt his chest tighten. "Oh, right! So, you thought you'd screw my Brother in an act of pure malignancy, did you?” he spat. “How gracious of you!"  
  
"I don't have to listen to this-!" She was about to slam the door, but he pushed against it.  
  
"I love you-!" He blurted out, almost collapsing from the effort.  
  
She shook her head, crying. "I don't believe you. I hardly know who you are anymore-!"  
  
"Why should that matter?" He looked at her, completely dumbfounded. "You love me, don't you?"

She wouldn't answer.

"Jazzie, say something, please!” He begged, starting to get desperate. He flashed an incredulous look at his brother. "Tugger, if you touch her, I swear I'll-!"  
  
"You'll what? Kick me?" came Tugger's reply. "You don't deserve her, bro!"  
  
"He’s been there for me-!" She added, trying to sound rational, but the hoarseness of her voice gave away her sorrow.  
  
"I'm sure he has-!" Munkustrap muttered nastily.

“Please! Just go!” she sobbed, and forcibly shut the door before he could stop her!  
  
He tried to get it open, but it was hopeless. He was simply too crippled to kick it down, and so had to resort to more pleading, "Jazzie! If you’re serious about fucking him, at least do it out of love! Please don't do it out of spite! And just to warn you, he’ll never love anyone more than he loves himself! He'll tell you what you want to hear, but it's all lies, I tell you! I'll never lie to you!”  
  
He was answered only by silence.

And that was the moment the lights began to gutter. He leant against the door and took deep breaths, trying to steady his nerves. "He doesn't love you, Jazz!" He whispered. "Not like I do! You’re making a big mistake!

_"All along, had to talk about it,_

_Like a two-edged sword, he touched you and it stabs me._ _  
_ _All along, knew you were a phony girl,_ _  
_ _Sit behind the mask where you control your world._ _  
_ _  
_ _Yesterday he had you in his arms;_ _  
_ _When I'm holding you, I feel his bitter charms._ _  
_ _I can't judge what you do to me._ _  
_ _Camouflage the truth, indulge your fantasy._ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me now, is it him babe? I don't know._ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me babe, is it him now? I don't know._ _  
_ _(There is nothing in your eyes)_ _  
_ _There is nothing in your eyes!_ _  
_ _(That's the way you cry)_ _  
_ _That's the way you cry, girl_ _  
_ _(All is grand, all is bright)_ _  
_ _All is grand, all is bright_ _  
_ _(You're just studying my mind)_ _  
_ _I'm so confused babe!_ _  
_ _(There is nothing in your eyes)_ _  
_ _There is nothing in your eyes!_ _  
_ _(That's the way you cry)_ _  
_ _That's the way you cry, girl_ _  
_ _(All is grand, all is bright)_ _  
_ _All is grand, all is bright_ _  
_ _(You're just studying my mind)_ _  
_ _  
_ _Was I invited to your masquerade?_ _  
_ _Well the party's over so now take off your face._ _  
_ _You say you love, but it's hard to see_ _  
_ _When you're in his arms, throwing rocks at me._ _  
_ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me now, is it him babe? I don't know._ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me babe, is it him now? I don't know._ _  
_ _  
_ _(There is nothing in your eyes; that's the way you cry._ _  
_ _All is grand, all is bright. You're just studying my mind._ _  
_ _There is nothing in your eyes; that's the way you cry._ _  
_ _All is grand, all is bright. You're just studying my mind.)_ _  
_ _  
_ _I walk around suffering in my gloom,_ _  
_ _When I come to you sitting in your room._ _  
_ _The truth is news, I have longed to trace._ _  
_ _So take off the mask so I can see your face._ _  
_ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me baby, is it him now? I don't know._ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me babe, is it him babe? I don't know._ _  
_ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me babe, is it him now? I don't know._ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me now, is it him babe? I don't know._ _  
_ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me now, is it him babe? I don't know._ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me babe, is it him now? I don't know._ _  
_ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me babe, is it him now? I don't know._ _  
_ _Who do you love? Is it me baby, is it him? I want to know._ _  
_ _Who do you love?_  
  
(Behind The Mask by Eric Clapton)

"Fine," he sighed bitterly. "I guess I'll just... leave you to it then..." But he wasn't quite done there. "Oh? And Tugger?" He warned. "Just so you know, I will not forget this, you fucking traitorous bastard, so don't think for one moment that this is over!"

He turned and limped away.

* * *

  
Mistoffelees was waiting for him at the top of the once, seemingly short flight of steps. However, for Munkustrap, it might as well have been Mount Snowdon! He eventually made the summit after a fair amount of wincing and cursing, to find Mistoffelees giving him such a piteous look that he almost wanted to cuff him! "You alright?" He asked innocently.  
  
Munkustrap shook his head, still clutching his ribs. "No," he muttered, gritting his teeth. "Just take me to where I need to go."

All of a sudden, the door banged open!

A sobbing snowshoe flew out of it, cried out his name, but it was too late.

* * *

Rumpus Cat was fast asleep, when he was startled awake by a loud and very rapid knocking. "Who could that be at this unsociable hour?" He wondered.

Grunting to himself, he walked to the front door and threw it open, to find two figures standing on the doorstep of the old Georgian terrace. One was a cloaked Silver Bengcoon. The other was a much smaller black Angora, who appeared to be struggling to keep him upright. "Munkustrap? I-Is that… you?" Stammered the black smoke Sphinx.

He hardly recognised the thin, battered tom, who didn't seem to be in any fit state to answer him. In fact, he looked rather sick. "I _hate_ teleporting!" Was all he could mutter.  
  
Rumpus looked at the Angora for an explanation. "Mistoffelees?" He politely addressed the young tom in a voice like sandpaper on wood. "This is somewhat irregular. What brings you here?"  
  
"Can we come in?" Said Misto, whose own voice was noticeably clear and pleasant in comparison. "We need to call in a favour. An urgent one!"  
  
Without waiting for the reply, he dragged his father inside and shut the door, then proceeded to help him into a sparsely decorated room, before finally easing him onto a pile of cushions (where Rumpus had been snoring a few minutes before!)

Once done, he turned to the almost hairless cat and hurriedly explained the reason for their impromptu visit, telling Rumpus all about the fight and the debilitating injuries his father had sustained.

"So? Can you fix him?" he asked when he had finished.  
  
The Sphinx Cat looked undecided.

He crouched down next to the hunched figure and gently helped him to remove his cloak, then took in the sight of his old friend: a once majestic tom whose eyes were sunken and missing their usual sparkle, whose muscles protruded out of his filthy, matted coat, and who looked, for all the world, like a cat who had lost most of his hope and dignity.

Rumpus tutted as he delicately removed the sling and had a quick examination of the shoulder, causing the silver tom to wince and cry out. "Ok..." said Rumpus quietly. "Good…"

He straightened up. "Leave him to me," he said to Misto. "In return for my dedication at the Jellicle Ball, I shall have him back on his feet. But it will take time."  
  
"How long?"  
  
Rumpus shrugged. "As long as it takes."  
  
With a regrettable look on his face, Misto turned to his father, placing a paw on his other shoulder.

Munkustrap glared at him. "I'm not going to enjoy this, am I?" he slated.  
  
Misto smiled sympathetically. "See you on the other side,” he said. “I shall inform the others of your whereabouts." He turned to leave-

"Son!" Munkustrap called out.  
  
The Angora turned back. "Yeah?"  
  
Munkustrap beckoned him to come close, so with a sigh, Mistoffelees crouched back down again and listened to what he had to say. "The only reason I am alive is because of you,” he told the Magician, looking him seriously in the eye. “Therefore, I owe you all of mine." And using his good arm, he pulled his son into an embrace.

Being very gentle, Mistoffelees hugged him back, burying his face in his shoulder. "Couldn't have you dying on us, could I?" He whispered, his voice muffled by the dusty fur. He pulled away and nuzzled his father's forehead with his. "Just, get well for us. Ok? Plus, I think you’ve given away enough of your lives!" He said with a knowing wink.  
  
The words _I love you_ passed silently between them, never to be spoken out loud, of course! Such displays of affection and sentimentality were for the likes of queens, and aside from that, the rare father and son moment was also set to be short lived. Standing up, Misto gave a quick salute to Rumpus Cat. Then he turned and vanished, leaving behind a shower of sparkles.


	14. Sweet Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of natural behaviour just to remind readers that my character is in fact, a cat!

"That's it," Rumpus Cat encouraged. "Push my arm away. Push, push, push!"  
  
Munkustrap set his jaw and tried. His arm shook. It felt like it was on fire! 

When he didn't think he could bare it a second longer, Rumpus began to count down, "Five, four, three, two, and one more!” The last one always seemed to last a lifetime! "And release!" Finally!

"Good," Rumpus decided. "I think that's enough physio for one day."  
  
Munkustrap gave him a look.  
  
"What doesn't kill you will invariably make you stronger," the hairless cat reminded him, for about the fifth time that day.  
  
Munkustrap massaged his shoulder and grimaced. "Yeah, show me the person who invented that phrase, so that I can throttle them!" He grumbled.

“Oh, stop your bellyaching, Munkus! That was better today!"

Rumpus began to tidy away bits and pieces that had been used for the physio session, including a rubber band, a tennis ball and a plank of wood.  
  
"I'm glad you thought so," Munkustrap replied wearily, as he bent down to help. "For me, it feels like an NHS standard bionic arm is what's attached to my shoulder, rather than my real one."  
  
The Sphinx placed a paw on his good shoulder. "These things take TIME!" He said wisely.

Munkustrap rolled his eyes. “If only I had that luxury!”

"Things take longer if you’re impatient! So I would like you to learn the value of time by practising your meditation for an hour."  
  
"An _hour-!?"_  
  
"Off you go! I shall go and make us some tea."  
  
Continuing to grumble under his breath, Munkustrap reluctantly walked over to the large Georgian window and hopped up onto the sill, taking a seat in a nice, sunny spot.

Closing his eyes, he turned his face to the bright glow and... _tried_ to meditate. He really did! But clearing his mind of all that _stuff_ wasn't easy- and the pretty Snowshoe who kept dancing across it did little to help!

He smiled as he remembered those little white paws, their tender caress across his head and shoulders, and how he yearned for their feathery loveliness, trailing through his fur and showering him with enough love to get drunk on...

His smile faded as black clouds blotted the sun's optimistic rays. Those silken paws were touching someone else now...

 _"Tell her try your best just to make it quick_ _  
_ _Whom attend to the sick_ _  
_ _'Cause there must be something she can do_ _  
_ _This heart is broken in two_ _  
_ _Tell her it's a case of emergency_ _  
_ _There's a patient known as the silver tabby_

 _Night nurse_ _  
_ _Only you alone can quench this jah thirst_ _  
_ _My night nurse, oh gosh_ _  
_ _Oh the pain it's getting worse_ _  
_ _  
_ _I don't wanna see no doc_ _  
_ _I need attendance from my nurse around the clock_ _  
_ _'Cause there's no prescription for me_ _  
_ _She's the one, the only remedy_ _  
_ _  
_ _Night nurse_ _  
_ _Only you alone can quench this jah thirst_ _  
_ _My night nurse_ _  
_ _Oh the pain it's getting worse_ _  
_ _  
_ _I hurt my love_ _  
_ _I don't wanna see no doc_ _  
_ _I need attendance from my nurse around the clock_ _  
_ _'Cause there's no prescription for me_ _  
_ _She's the one, the only remedy_ _  
_ _  
_ _Night nurse_ _  
_ _Only you alone can quench this jah thirst_ _  
_ _My night nurse_ _  
_ _Oh the pain it's getting worse_ _  
_ _  
_ _I hurt my love_ _  
_ _And I'm sure no doctor can cure_ _  
_ _Night nurse, night nurse."_

(Night Nurse by Gregory Isaacs)  
  
"Thinking about someone?" Asked Rumpus, handing him a glass of herbal tea and a painkiller.  
  
Munkustrap didn't answer, but continued to gaze silently out of the window. He took the pill with a small sip from the glass, then made a wry face and held up the glass to inspect the unappetising brown liquid. "What is this?" he growled.  
  
"My special concoction. It'll do you good," replied Rumpus. "Do you like it?"  
  
"It's definitely special, that's all I'll say," came the dry remark.  
  
The colour of lead, save for his blazing silver blue eyes, Rumpus observed his student. "Something troubling you?" he asked.  
  
"When isn't there!" Munkustrap replied, rolling his eyes. He sighed. "Oh, you know how it is, when you leave someone else in charge of your job for too long. Not that I don't trust Alonzo... but I worry I'll walk back into the yard to find it a smouldering ruin! Either that, or they won't let me back in!"  
  
"I’m sure everything is fine," Rumpus reassured him. He grinned. "And you’ll be back in _her_ arms before you know it."  
  
"I don't recall ever mentioning a 'she', Rumpus!" Munkustrap chuckled.  
  
"Oh? But you have!" Rumpus said slyly. "In your sleep!"  
  
Munkustrap raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? You were watching me sleep, eh?" A ghost of a smirk crept across his face.

Rumpus shifted uncomfortably. "You woke me up! Besides, you've been in the doldrums since you got here, and it's not just because of your injuries. If I didn't know you any better, I’d say you were pining like a lost puppy!"  
  
Munkustrap’s lips twitched. He couldn't deny that!

* * *

Following another successful physio session a few days later, Rumpus smiled at his student and informed him, "I think you may be ready."

Still doubled over panting, Munkustrap gasped, “For?”

Rumpus’s smile broadened. “For winning back a certain heart and mind.”

Indeed, his charge had been making steady progress, and with his expert guidance, had regained almost the full use of his arm. It still lacked the strength and the flexibility that it had once had, but at least he was no longer in severe pain. His wounds had healed to form angry looking scars, but would soon be barely visible underneath his fur, which, now free from blood and grime, had grown back thick and plush, restored to its former scintillating beauty, glittering whenever the sunlight shone upon it.

All in all, he was looking like a new cat, ready to take on the world again.

When he was ready to go, he clasped Rumpus Cat's paw. "I am full of gratitude, friend,” he said. “Thank you, for everything."  
  
Rumpus Cat smiled proudly. "I’m not done with you yet, Munkustrap," he told the younger tom. "I am pleased with how well you bounced back, but you still have a long way to go. You must do those exercises I taught you every day, for the rest of your life, you know that, don't you? Unless you want your shoulder to pop out again, of course. And do the breathing exercises I taught you, as well. There'll be no more painkillers for you, but if you practice regularly, you shouldn't need them."  
  
Munkustrap nodded, showing that he understood.

"Good," said Rumpus. "Return to your family. I shall visit you in a few days for the next stage of your training. I want to make sure this sort of thing never happens to you again. Life is too short to be laid up with injuries."  
  
"Will do," Munkustrap replied, letting go of Rumpus's paw to give a small salute. "I look forward to it."  
  
Rumpus Cat chuckled and rubbed his paws together, "Me too. Me too. You're going to love it, I am quite sure of that!"

* * *

  
Munkustrap trotted along Batemans Street, listening to the music that was floating out of various doorways. His nose caught the smells of Chinese crispy duck, stale beer and hasheesh, ones typical of Soho. He felt the warmth of the summer sun on his back, and smiled. _"Feels good to be back!"_ he thought to himself. _"Almost good enough for a song, I think!”_ _  
_  
“ _Birds flying high_ _  
_ _You know how I feel_ _  
_ _Sun in the sky_ _  
_ _You know how I feel_ _  
_ _Breeze driftin' on by_ _  
_ _You know how I feel_ _  
_ _  
_ _It's a new dawn, It's a new day_ _  
_ _It's a new life_ _  
_ _For me_ _  
_ _And I'm feeling good_ _  
_ _I'm feeling good_ _  
_ _  
_ _Fish in the sea_ _  
_ _You know how I feel_ _  
_ _River running free_ _  
_ _You know how I feel_ _  
_ _Blossom on a tree_ _  
_ _You know how I feel_ _  
_ _  
_ _It's a new dawn, It's a new day_ _  
_ _It's a new life_ _  
_ _For me_ _  
_ _And I'm feeling good_ _  
_ _  
_ _Dragonfly out in the sun_ _  
_ _You know what I mean,_ _  
_ _Don't you know?_ _  
_ _Butterflies all havin' fun_ _  
_ _You know what I mean_ _  
_ _Sleep in peace when day is done_ _  
_ _That's what I mean_ _  
_ _  
_ _And this old world, Is a new world_ _  
_ _And a bold world_ _  
_ _For me_ _  
_ _For me_ _  
_ _  
_ _Stars when you shine_ _  
_ _You know how I feel_ _  
_ _Scent of the pine_ _  
_ _You know how I feel_ _  
_ _Oh freedom is mine_ _  
_ _And I know how I feel_ _  
_ _  
_ _It's a new dawn, It's a new day_ _  
_ _It's a new life_ _  
_ _It's a new dawn, It's a new day_ _  
_ _It's a new life_ _  
_ _  
_ _It's a new dawn, It's a new day_ _  
_ _It's a new life, It's a new life_ _  
_ _For me_ _  
_ _And I'm feeling good_ _  
_ _  
_ _I'm feeling good_ _  
_ _I feel so good_ _  
_ _I feel so good!”_  
  
(Feeling Good by Michael Buble)  
  
_“And, somewhere out there, is a Cat whose days are numbered!"_ He vowed to himself. Macavity would rue the day he failed to kill him! He'd make sure of that!

He entertained himself with imaginings of what he'd do to the Ginger Feind the next time he decided to show his ugly face, and smiled as he recalled the grotesque screams he'd made as the splintered wood ripped through his eye socket like crepe paper. “An eye for an eye,” thought Munkustrap sagely, blinking and trying to clear the grey fog that marred his own left eye.

So lost in a state of brooding was he, that he failed to notice the sassy figure, who was trying all the usual salacious tactics to try to get his attention, until her celestial voice tinkered him out of his meanderings. "Hey there, handsome!"  
  
He turned to see a cameo tabby Angora, standing in the dark doorway to La Capannina Gentleman's Club with one foot pressing suggestively into the wooden frame. "Does Sir… like what he sees?" She asked with a wink, and using her foot to push herself away from the door frame, she slunk over to him. "Is Sir... in need of our services today?" She used her tongue to lick the outside of her teeth, as though very much wanting to get them into him.

He smiled reticently. "Why, thank you for kind offer, Thessalonika.”

Her face lit up.

“However, I have a shark tank which I'm very keen to go and jump into.”

Seeming not to have heard, she ran a paw across his chest and wrapped her tail provocatively around his legs, then whispered something in his ear, furiously batting her aqua gold eyes at him.  
  
He listened, and gave a small chuckle. “Yes. And I'm quite sure you'll charge me an arm and a leg for every single one of those suggestions.”  
  
Her flagrant act fell away like a China doll having its face smashed. "Oh! Come on Munk! You always say that!" She griped, moodily crossing her arms. "Cut us some slack, will ya? I'm desperate!"  
  
"Clearly. Business bad?"  
  
"Like you wouldn't believe! The Cold Chill ‘ave been hangin’ round, scaring off all me punters, ain't they! Sod off to Sunset Strip instead, they does! I noticed the cozzers don't bother with _His_ gaff. Can't think why!” Her voice switched to a tubular bell- like whine, “Oh, come on, Munk! Just this once? You'll be in and out in five minutes, guarantee!"  
  
He laughed at that. "I think I'll pass, thanks."  
  
"I'll do it for fifty?!" She urged.  
  
"Since when did 'no' cease to mean 'no'?!"  
  
"Ugh!" She huffed, and was about skulk off, with an annoyed flick of her plumed tail, when, at the last minute, he called her back.  
  
She turned back, but her jubilant smile fell away when she saw he was only holding up a postcard. "I need to ask a favour," he said, handing it to her.

She guessed it wasn't the image of Big Ben that was important, so she turned it over and held it at arm's length, squinting in order to make out the detailed image that was sketched over printed lines.  
  
"Have you seen this kitten?" he asked. "Or know of anyone who has?"  
  
She looked at him sideways, but said nothing.

Sighing, Munkustrap reached into the wallet that he was carrying, pulled out a couple of notes, and stuffed them into her outstretched paw.

"Can't say I 'ave," she said finally.

Noticing Munkustrap's shoulders visibly sag, she quickly added, "But... if you give me another twenny, I'll keep this picture on me, so's I can be sure to keep an eye out for ‘im, right? Who is he? Your boy or sommink?"  
  
He handed her forty shillings, and with a note of sadness in his voice, simply replied, "Send word if you see or hear anything."  
  
She nodded. "Will do, Munkus. ‘Ope you find 'im."

"If only hope were kind," he muttered. "All it brings me is the torture of not knowing."  
  
She shrugged and began to walk back to her initial spot on the doorstep, pausing to give him one last suggestive wiggle of her hips. "Be sure to come back and visit soon, won't cha? Door’s always open!"

"And a good day to you."

She smirked and disappeared through the bead curtailed doorway with a soft clatter of hollow bamboo. By the time they fell back into place, Munkustrap had turned back into his cat form and was already halfway down the street, going at a steady lope, with his tail held acute to the ground.  
  
_"That's life!_  
_That's what people say_ _  
_ _You're riding high in April_ _  
_ _Shot down in May_ _  
_ _But I know I'm gonna change that tune_ _  
_ _When I'm back on top, back on top in June_ _  
_ _I said, that's life (that's life) and as funny as it may seem_ _  
_ _Some people get their kicks_ _  
_ _Stompin' on a dream_ _  
_ _But I don't let it, let it get me down_ _  
_ _'Cause this fine old world it keeps spinnin' around_ _  
_ _I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate_ _  
_ _A poet, a pawn and a king_ _  
_ _I've been up and down and over and out_ _  
_ _And I know one thing_ _  
_ _Each time I find myself flat on my face_ _  
_ _I pick myself up and get back in the race_ _  
_ _That's life (that's life) I tell ya, I can't deny it_ _  
_ _I thought of quitting, baby_ _  
_ _But my heart just ain't gonna buy it_ _  
_ _And if I didn't think it was worth one single try_ _  
_ _I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly_ _  
_ _I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate_ _  
_ _  
_ _A poet, a pawn and a king_ _  
_ _I've been up and down and over and out_ _  
_ _And I know one thing_ _  
_ _Each time I find myself layin' flat on my face_ _  
_ _I just pick myself up and get back in the race_ _  
_ _That's life (that's life) that's life_ _  
_ _And I can't deny it_ _  
_ _Many times I thought of cuttin' out but my heart won't buy it_ _  
_ _But if there's nothing shakin' come here this July_ _  
_ _I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die!_ _  
_ _My, my!"_  
  
(That's Life by Frank Sinatra)

* * *

  
The first thing Munkustrap did was to visit his human home. He hadn't been back there for months, so wasn't sure what he'd find. _"I hope they haven't bought a dog!"_ he thought.  
  
As he walked up the familiar street, he spotted a disturbing sight.

Trotting up to the utility pole, he stood on his hind legs get a better look, giving it a good sniff and touching it with his whiskers. It was a poster, stuck crudely to the Scots pine with Blu Tack, which, on closer scrutiny, was found to be displaying his image, with the word MISSING written above it. "Oh dear!" he said to himself. "They must be worried sick!"

  
He walked up the garden path, and silently slipped into the large semi detached house, via the cat flap. Once inside, he found a dark haired lady standing in the kitchen, absentmindedly peeling potatoes, whilst singing along to the radio. He chirped softly to get her attention. But unsurprisingly, she didn't react.

“Humans!” He grumbled. “How they ever survive being so deaf I'll never know!”

He tried a slightly louder, "Meeeeooooowoooow!" instead.

It was a sound only reserved for human interaction, which a human might have interpreted as, "Excuse me! I'm here, don't you know!"  
  
Isobel spun round. "Oh my God! Lysander?!" she squealed.  
  
"Reeow!" He replied (I've missed you too.)  
  
Issuing a small grunt of exertion, she hefted the large cat over her shoulder and stroked his back, rocking him like a baby.

Munkustrap purred contentedly. This was the life! Although, he had to remind her periodically, with a series of small, irritated growls, that yes, he was fluffy! But no, he was not a stuffed toy! Stupid, clumsy human! "WHERE have you _been?_ We've been worried sick!" She fretted. "John was convinced you'd been snatched or run over, or something horrible...!"  
  
"Reeow!" He remarked and licked her face. (You're quite correct. It was horrible!)  
  
Isobel's hand suddenly brushed over the scars. She gasped, “Zand! What are these? Have you been in a fight or something? Is _that_ why you didn't come home?"  
  
"Mreeow!" (Hit it right on the nail, hooman. Now, what's for tea?)  
  
She examined the wounds closely. It looked like someone had treated them, the wounds had clearly having been stitched up. Maybe he had a second owner that they didn't know about?! And, where the hell was his collar!?

* * *

  
That evening, after he had been fed and watered, he woke from a long, glorious sleep on his human's bed, came downstairs and perched himself on the windowsill in the living room. He was meticulously washing his face and paws, when his ears suddenly pricked up at the familiar sound of John Pilkington's car pulling into the driveway.

As soon as the rather surprised police detective walked in the door, Munkustrap was there to greet him, winding himself around his legs and meowing excitedly. "Alright, stop out!?" John exclaimed. "Where the heck have _you_ been, eh? We almost got us a dog!"  
  
While he and his wife were having a quiet discussion over an episode of Knots Landing on the television, Munkustrap busied himself with washing the rest of his long fur, then proceeded to have a good old stretch out on the rug. He feigned aloof detachment to what they were saying, even though he knew they were talking about him. "I just phoned mum," Isobel was saying. "She's thrilled Zand is back. Said she'd maybe bring Drezka Snow Queen over at the weekend. The poor thing is in heat and it’s driving her mad. Mum, I mean!"  
  
_"What!? The one who does nothing, but boast?! Yeah! Because I really enjoy HER company! NOT!"_ Munkustrap thought grudgingly. _"I much prefer the daughter… Eskima Blanche Princesse, wasn't it? Or something idiotic like that…! That reminds me... how are the kits, I wonder? Must be getting big now…_ Hey! I just got comfy!"  
  
“Alright, Big Guy! I just want to look at you, that's all. I’ll put you back in a minute!” said the police detective, as he carefully picked up the grumbling Silver Bengcoon and checked over his injuries.

They were just as Isobel had described them. "Ere! You were right, Iz!" he said. "I knew something must’ve happened to him."  
  
"I think we were both a bit right, John," Isobel replied and pointed to a particular long scar that ran along the cat’s left shoulder blade. "Look. Someone's clearly stitched him back up. If he's not cheating on us, then I'll eat my scarf!"  
  
"Who knows _where_ they go when they go out that catflap," John mused, and then suggested, "I'd take him to the vet tomorrow morning, just to be on the safe side."  
  
"No, I don't think you will!" Munkustrap rudely interjected. "I'm off! See you later!" All John heard was a disapproving, "Meeeeooooowooow!" as the cat struggled out of his arms and dashed towards the kitchen.  
  
"Where's he off to _now?"_ he asked aloud, as Munkustrap's tail disappeared through the catflap.  
  
"Like you say, who knows?" replied Isobel with a shrug. "The question is, will he be back?"

* * *

  
Upon leaving the safety of the house, a place where he was free to relax without a care in the world, Munkustrap's primal instincts kicked in the moment he set foot outside of it. As the cool night breeze ruffled his whiskers, his senses were bombarded with information, some of it familiar and some of it not so. Sniffing around, he caught the scent of a few upstarts who’d had the audacity to trespass into HIS territory. They would feel his wrath if he ran into them, so they had better hope that they didn't!

He brushed up against plant pots and bushes, sharpened his claws on a nearby silver birch sapling, and scent marked strategic objects, just to let everyone else in the vicinity know that this was HIS patch, and intruders would NOT be tolerated.  
  
As he made his way towards Thames Scrapyard, his sensitive nose caught a whiff of a different kind. He stopped for a moment and intently inhaled the fragrant air. Deciding it was worth checking out, he drifted over to a nearby lamppost, where the heady, yet strangely familiar aroma was at its strongest. Pulling back his lips, he drew the scent into his mouth, so that it washed over the Jacobson's organ in the roof of his palette. This was a special organ that allowed him to taste and analyze smells at a molecular level (and explains why cats will turn their noses up at a food that they don't like, without ever needing to put it into their mouths!) The messages contained within the scent were ones he hadn't come across for a long time, but they told him exactly who had left them, and why.

Now, all he had to do was find the individual before someone else did, seeing as this particular scent would probably be sending toms crazy for miles around!  
  
_"Hey little girl is your daddy home_ _  
_ _Did he go away and leave you all alone_ _  
_ _I got a bad desire_ _  
_ _Oh I'm on fire_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tell me now baby is he good to you_ _  
_ _Can he do to you the things that I do_ _  
_ _I can take you higher_ _  
_ _Oh I'm on fire_ _  
_ _  
_ _Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby_ _  
_ _Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley_ _  
_ _Through the middle of my skull_ _  
_ _At night I wake up with the sheets ripped to shreds_ _  
_ _And a freight train running through the_ _  
_ _Middle of my head_ _  
_ _Only you can cool my desire_ _  
_ _Oh I'm on fire."_  
  
(I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen)


	15. Bombalurina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Made some changes. I felt seeing as this chapter is called Bombalurina, it needed a bit more Bombalurina!  
> I was going to save the idea for another fic, but what the Hell!  
> This one could get a little steamy. Well with the most seductive queen in the tribe around you, er, never really know what's going to happen...
> 
> My God! This took weeks to edit! WEEKS!!!

Bombalurina was in a bad mood.  
  
She had been sitting on a swivel chair, minding her own business, making herself up as usual. When suddenly, she had noticed something. Taking a closer look, she had moved her face towards the mirror, until she was almost touching it with her whiskers. And screamed.  
  
"Bombi what is it!?"  
  
One of her assistants immediately came running, thinking her boss was in trouble. Only to find her slumped over the little dressing table, sobbing. On seeing her, Bombalurina quickly straightened up and regained her composure, pasting a confident smile back onto her face, as though nothing had happened. "Oh! It's...it's nothing, Iphigenia," she stuttered. "I just...just..." Why _had_ she been sobbing over the dressing table?!  
  
"Just what, Ma'am?" asked the young golden Abyssinian. She decided to hazard a guess. "Is it Tugger again?"  
  
Bombalurina sighed and huffed, "No! If you must know, I found a wrinkle! There! Happy?" She glared at the younger cat, but Iphigenia just laughed.

"We all get them, Ma'am!” She reasoned. “If you ask me, I'd say you were overworked. Why don't you leave early tonight? I'll lock up."  
  
That sounded like a great idea. Bombalurina had been working solidly for almost fifteen hours; cutting and styling fur, placating unsatisfied customers, dealing with unruly kittens and keeping the place tidy, all while trying to train up a new employee, and balance the books. And she had done exactly the same thing the day before that, the day before that, and the day before that! Thank god it was Sunday tomorrow, that's all she could say! "Thanks Iphy!" She said gratefully. "I guess just I wanted to take my mind off things."  
  
She flashed one last acid filled glare at her reflection and then gave Iphigenia a hopeful look. "You wouldn't happen to have anything for this...problem, would you by any chance?" She asked, pointing to her face. There was a slight plea in her voice.  
  
Iphigenia grinned and held up a vial of clear liquid. "I have just the thing," she said. "It's no substitute for a good sleep, but it will keep you looking radiant for now!"

* * *

  
Bombalurina ambled down Lisson Grove, feeling troubled. For, while she wasn't exactly old, she could hardly call herself a young queen anymore! In fact, her biological clock wasn't just ticking, so much as ringing alarm bells!  
  
She stopped off briefly in the Wellington Arms and socialised for a bit, even managing to catch a brief word with her mate... once she had managed to prize him away from his entourage of both male and female admirers. "So? Do you understand what I mean?" she was asking him.  
  
"Yeah sure, babe, sure!" the Charcoal Bengcoon replied, although he looked like he was more interested in getting back to his fans rather than paying attention to her.  
  
"Really?" Bombalurina's face lit up. "You'd do that for me? Are you ready?"  
  
"Ready for what, babe?" He asked distractedly.  
  
"To have kittens with me, of course?" pressed Bombalurina. Had he been listening?  
  
Rum Tum Tugger suddenly shrank away from her, as though she were contaminated with something contagious. Clearly not. "Whoa! Hold your horses there, babe!" He said worriedly. "You never said anything about KITTENS!"  
  
Bombalurina's smile fell away. "You-you don't want to have kittens with me?" She stuttered in disbelief.  
  
She and Rum Tum Tugger had been an on/off item, ever since last year's Jellicle Ball; the one where Grizabella had ascended to the Heaviside Layer. And had also been friends with benefits for even longer than that! But, much to Bombalurina's dismay, he didn't seem as keen on settling down as she did. For, whenever she broached the subject, he would always find a way to change it. Well, he was younger than her, by a good few months! She always used to tease him and his brother about that! Had always felt proud of being the oldest and biggest, able to boss everyone else about. But now, it seemed like that sense of pride was backfiring on her.  
  
"Why the heck would I want those snotty, horrible things?" Rum Tum Tugger scoffed, with a look on his face akin to if she'd just picked her nose and shown him what she'd managed to excavate. "I got enough of my nieces and nephews chasing after me!"

"And besides," he added loftily. "I'm far too young for such commitments!"  
  
Bombalurina's eyebrows knitted together dangerously. "Why you selfish, arrogant son of a…!"  
  
She went to swipe at him, but he bolted out of the way. "Hey! What's with you tonight?" he complained. "You look like goldfish that's lost its bowl! I'm outta here. I'll catch you when you've cheered up!" And he stormed off into the crowd.

* * *

Bombalurina wandered sadly in the direction of the Scrapyard. "Now I know how Grizabella felt..." she said to herself and sighed heavily, feeling a twinge of regret at how badly she had treated the disgraced old queen, shortly before she had ascended to the Heaviside Layer.

  
Pausing next to a lamp post, she decided to rub up against it, hoping that _someone_ would get the message. She had a warm glow in her belly, like a small fire had ignited in there. And, Bast! She needed some love! Like… NOW!

Walking on, she began to signal her needs and desires by calling out into the night, a lascivious cri de cœur, that became louder and more plaintive with every hour that passed… Until, from out of the night, someone answered. Her heart fluttered. Indeed, she had expected to hear the call of some random degenerate libertine, but not _that_ voice. Could it really be...?  
  
She smiled, feeling coquettish in spite of herself, and quickly made her way towards the tyre clearing, hurrying to where the moonlight fell in the middle of the floor. _“Like my very own spotlight!”_ She thought delightedly.  
  
The night was clear and mild, with not a breath of wind to ruffle one's whiskers. Perfect conditions for the next performance; a provocative dance that would make it as clear as glass, to any suiter, of what her intentions were. And so, she began by lifting her arms and gyrating her hips in time to its rhythm, singing a sensuous song to match her sensuous dance.  
  
_"When the truth is found_ _  
__To be lies_ _  
__And all the joy_ _  
__Within you dies_ _  
__  
__Don't you want somebody to love_ _  
__Don't you need somebody to love_ _  
__Wouldn't you love somebody to love_ _  
__You better find somebody to love, love_ _  
__  
__When the garden flowers_ _  
__Baby, are dead, yes_ _  
__And your mind, your mind_ _  
__Is so full of red_ _  
__  
__Don't you want somebody to love_ _  
__Don't you need somebody to love_ _  
__Wouldn't you love somebody to love_ _  
__You better find somebody to love_ _  
__  
__Your eyes, I say your eyes_ _  
__May look like his_ _  
__Yeah, but in your head, baby_ _  
__I'm afraid you don't know where it is_ _  
__  
__Don't you want somebody to love_ _  
__Don't you need somebody to love_ _  
__Wouldn't you love somebody to love_ _  
__You better find somebody to love_ _  
__  
__Tears are running_ _  
__They're all running down your dress_ _  
__And your friends, baby_ _  
__They treat you like a guest_ _  
__  
__Don't you want somebody to love_ _  
__Don't you need somebody to love_ _  
__Wouldn't you love somebody to love_ _  
__You better find somebody to love!"_  
  
(Somebody To Love by Jefferson Airplane)  
  
Even though she had been expecting him, the sensation of his strong arms wrapping themselves around her voluptuous frame, coupled with his cool, whiskery nose pressing itself into the base of her neck, was enough to make her shiver with excitement.  
  
She smiled and sighed, reaching up to fold her arms around his head, encouraging him to carry on sniffing her, his lips travelling from her neck, all the way up towards her temple, whereupon she gave a small chuckle, and slipped around, her yellow ochre eyes taking in the tom who stood before her. And was instantly dumbfounded. "Hello stranger!" She greeted him. "Back from the dead, _are_ we?"  
  
He smiled back and replied impishly, “And very much alive we are, too!" While she raised a sultry eyebrow, and began to encircle him, inspecting every detail, from the striking pattern on his coat (something she never grew tired of admiring), with its swirling eddies of black, the butterfly shaped patches on his shoulders, and the three solid lines running length of his back, from his head, all the way to his barred tail; all standing out against the shining silver, to the firm physique that an Olympic Decathlete would have been envious of; whilst also keeping one paw in contact with him, feeling the tone of his muscles with her elegant fingers as they raked the wrong way through his soft fur, delighting in letting it slowly spring back into place.

"Wow! Check you _out!”_ She enthused as she did this. “That is some transformation, I have to say!"  
  
"Metamorphosis!" he joked and tapped his left shoulder with his right paw as he went on to explain, "Although, it is not fully complete yet. My shoulder still needs some work. But, thanks to Old Rumpus, it's doing ok."  
  
"Remind me to thank him! And I would be more than happy to work on it for you," she said, sincerely liking what she saw.  
  
Indeed, apart from four, track-like scars running the length of his back, alongside the black lines, and the dark blotch in his left eye, you couldn't really tell that, only a few months ago, he had been at death's door. It made her feel unexpectedly emotional. For, although she knew that the blemishes would most likely fade in time, the memories, for her especially, would not be so easily erased. "I cannot tell you how good it is to have you back. You've been truly missed!" she said, her playful demeanour suddenly slipping, to be replaced by something more heartfelt and genuine. And with that, she embraced him.  
  
"Ditto," he whispered into her shoulder and held her tightly, reaching up to stroke her head... When all at once, he stiffened. "And, by the looks of things, you've brought half of London with you, too," he growled.  
  
"What-?!"  
  
Bombalurina whipped round to see what he was glaring at, and gasped, "Oh! Shit!"  
  
There were eyes. Many eyes. Gleaming slits, winking back at her from the shadows. And, as though acknowledging some subtle cue, the owners of them boldly stepped out of the darkness, until, facing the pair, stood a dozen or so back alley hardened tomcats. "I heard someone was in heat!" Hollered one rough looking street urchin.  
  
"I quite fancy me some some that!" Remarked another gruff individual, looking her up and down.  
  
And, with that, he took a step towards her... only to find his way forward blocked by the silver Bengcoon, who jumped in front of him, hissing fiendishly. "Out of my way, friend!" The stray warned him. "I shan't warn you again!"  
  
"I'm not your friend!" Munkustrap snarled back.  
  
The other tom hissed and swiped with his claws, but Munkustrap ducked out of the way, landing an elbow in the side of his head. Furious, the stray dazedly tried to kick him in the shins, but found each one of his efforts blocked by Munkustrap making small but swift leg movements in order to catch them with his heel; which he then pushed into the tom's sternum, sending him sprawling on his bottom. Munkustrap threatened him again, pulling back his paw with the intention of knocking him out... but stopped short when the other cat held up his paws in surrender. Acknowledging this, Munkustrap let him be and started to walk away, intending to go and check on Bombalurina, who was crouched down in front of the tyre, looking nervously defiant. If any one of those strays came within a whisker of her, she would give them what for!  
  
Growling, the stray seemed to change his mind about surrendering all of a sudden. An opponent with his back turned was just too much of a temptation, it seemed. So, he scrambled to his feet, and charged. Bombalurina screamed. Munkustrap turned, quickly noticed what she was screaming at, and leapt. This time, the tom's sternum collided with with his knee in midair... There was a dull _'crack!'_ and he went down like a sack of spuds. He didn't get up again.  
  
However, a second tom came in his place to try his luck. Yelling wildly, he threw a swipe... only for Munkustrap to duck once again, and back-roundhouse him in the head. Well, that stopped him!  
  
The next contestant tried to dodge around Munkustrap in order to get to Bombalurina. But Munkustrap took another great leap, and landed in front of him. The miscreant looked momentarily shocked at how fast the Bengcoon had moved! But then tried to impress the russet queen with his fancy footwork, pulling obscene faces, as he dodged all of Munkustrap's swipes. He stuck out his tongue, goading him into giving his best shot. But forgot to watch out for Munkustrap's feet. He soon regretted not doing this, when one flew out of seemingly nowhere and collided with the side of his jaw, stunning him for a second. This gave ample time for Munkustrap pick him up, and send him flying... with the stray coming back down to Earth a short time later... with a resounding _CRASH!_ Upsetting a neatly stacked mountain of empty paint cans in the process.  
  
Meanwhile, Munkustrap caught another trying to sneak around the perimeter to get to Bombalurina, and swiftly dealt with him by putting a (mostly) empty can of white paint over his head, before shoving him into the old oven; just as a fifth contender ran up and aimed a kick. But Munkustrap got down on the ground and took his standing leg out from under him with a quick sweep of his feet, and the contender fell to the ground with a _thud!_  
  
Then, without warning, a huge brown bear of a tom lunged forth, wielding aloft a large window frame, complete with mouldy glass. Munkustrap had just enough time to put up his arms, in an attempt to shield his face (and for Bombalurina to wince sympathetically), before the assailant smashed it over his head, took hold of him, and hurled him into a nearby junk pile! "Munk!" Bombalurina screamed in panic, as the Silver tom disappeared from view, and didn't re-materialize.  
  
At the same time, she found herself trapped against the tyre by a load of lecherous toms, who were bearing down on her from all sides. With little chance of escape, she hissed threateningly, "If one of you bastards even thinks about touching me, I'll rip your fucking genitals off! Get me?"  
  
But the trouble was, there were too many for her to fight off on her own, and they all knew it!  
  
Feeling emboldened, now that the minor inconvenience was out of the way, The Bearcat made a sudden grab for her. "You're mine now!" He said.  
  
"You wish!" She snarled and clawed him across the face.  
  
"Bitch!" He growled, wiping blood from his mouth with the back of his paw. “You're going to regret doing that!” And with that, he roughly grabbed her again, holding her around the waist as he used his bulk to shove her down onto the tyre, squirming all the while and angrily crying out, “Get off me, you brute!”  
  
She tried to push her attacker away. But he was too strong! Added to that, the other toms found her desperate attempts to ruin their fun highly amusing. “Look at her! That's it, love. Jiggle a bit more!” they cackled and jeered as they impatiently awaited their turn, watching as the sneering Bearcat forced himself on her, feeling his way towards her delicate area while trying to kiss her with his disgustingly slobbery lips...  
  
When all of a sudden, he froze, and his eyes glazed over, as though he'd been turned to stone. A second or two after that, he slumped to the ground, and lay still. Meanwhile, the other toms stared. First, at him. Then, at her, with worried expressions on their faces. "Ere! What's up with im?" Asked one, nervously.  
  
"Dunno! Ee just dropped like a stone, ee did!" Said a second in disbelief.  
  
"Oh well! Less competition!" said a third, shrugging.  
  
He was about to step over the body to reach Bombalurina, when a pebble came whizzing out of nowhere and struck him on the back of the head. He turned in fury to the tom next to him. "Ere! Whatchoo do that for?" He demanded.  
  
"It weren't me!" Said the other, just as a banister railing suddenly hurtled through the air and struck him between the shoulder blades!  
  
"Hit me? Would you?" He snarled at his neighbour. "Right! You asked for it!"  
  
Pretty soon, the tom's had forgotten all about Bombalurina, as they yowled and squabbled amongst themselves... Shrieking and cursing… "ENOUGH!" Boomed a voice.  
  
They all froze, mid brawl, and looked up. Standing before them, on top of the junk pile was: "Munkustrap!" Bombalurina almost cried with relief. And, curiously, over his head, he was wielding an enormous terracotta plant pot; that also looked enormously heavy!  
  
"Get out!" He snarled, and, with an almighty roar, threw the ceramic pot at the gaggle of ruffians, as hard as he could, so that it hit the ground with a reverberating _SMASH!_ Sending pieces of jagged clay, woodlice and terrified tom cats scattering in all directions, including the one who still had the paint can on his head! In a frenzy of panic, he clashed and clamoured his way out of the Junkyard, knocking into things as he went! Until, at long last, the junkyard was as peaceful as it had been before the strays’ untimely arrival.  
  
"Are you hurt?" Asked Bombalurina, brushing herself off and running over to her saviour, who was still breathing hard in the middle of the floor; ready to attack any stray who decided to make a surprise come back.  
  
However, much to his relief, none did. And so, feeling it was safe to relax, he folded his arms and gave Bombalurina a hard look out of the corner of his eye, before replying brusquely, "No, thanks to you! A fight was just what I needed on my first day back. Cheers, Bombi!" He tutted and rolled his eyes, as if to say, “Typical!”  
  
She was about to come back with some form of denial; that a group of randy strays had anything whatsoever to do with _her!_ When he suddenly grimaced and held his shoulder. "You _are_ hurt!" She exclaimed.  
  
“It’s just stiff…” he started to say.  
  
“No,” she said. “Your face.”  
  
He instinctively reached to where his cheek was stinging, just to check if this was true. And, of course. It was. “Son of a bitch…!” He started to curse quietly at the pain.

"Ah ah!" She scolded, pulling his paw away. Did toms know nothing about germs? "Having your head put through a window was probably not the best thing," she then understated, reaching up to his face, but he jerked his head away, wincing,  
  
"Don't-!"  
  
"It won't hurt, you big girl's blouse!” she insisted. “Come on! Let me clean it! I need to check that there isn't any glass in there! And I promise to be gentle, as long as you behave!"  
  
He grumbled something almost inaudible, sounding a bit like, “I'll big girl's blouse _you_ in a minute!” but reluctantly kept still as she grabbed his head and gently pulled it towards her, so that she could examine the cut a little more closely.  
  
It extended from just below the arch of his nose, to the middle of his cheek. "Narrowly missed your right eye!" She tutted as she worked, cleaning off the blood with her tongue. "I've also found a bit of glass... but it's not deep. Thank God!"  
  
He made no reaction. Accept to fidget slightly. “What?” She asked.  
  
“It tickles!” He complained.  
  
“Just keep _still!”_ She scolded.  
  
When she’d finally finished, she stood back and admired her handiwork. Only to find that his face was still a mess. But at least it was clean! “Now, for that shoulder!”  
  
Decisively, she sat him down on the tyre and then stood behind him so that she could carry out her task, methodically working her fingers and thumbs into the tight areas of his muscles and teasing out any knots she found. “Does that feel alright?” She asked.  
  
“Mmmm, amazing!” he replied wistfully. “I don't know how you do it, but my shoulder feels like new already!”  
  
"Sorry to have put you through all that!" She said ruefully, having to admit that it _was_ her fault. As if it wasn't at all obvious! "But, thank you, for fighting them off. You're my hero, as always."  
  
"Like I had a choice!" he answered gruffly. "And besides. I hold nothing against you. You can't exactly help being irresistible, can you?" The corners of his lips curved upwards ever so slightly, showing her he wasn't all that cheesed off.  
  
She smiled back as she worked, and commended, "Glad to hear it. Though, I must say, those were some pretty smart moves on your part, too, Handsome!"  
  
He give her an odd look, and answered bluntly, "Well, I wouldn't be much of a Protector if I couldn't fight, now, would I? That is something else to thank Rumpus for, by the way, the next time you happen to… run into him, as it were."  
  
She raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips at that, responding to the dig in a low voice, "I don't know _what_ you are trying to insinuate, Mister Smooth! _I_ was under the impression that he preferred partners from the male gender?"  
  
"Oh?” he replied loftily. “And since when did that ever stop you?"  
  
The comment was meant in jest. So Munkustrap was thoroughly taken aback when she came to sit beside him, and looked down at the ground, seeming deeply hurt, as she muttered sadly, "Good point. Seems I have habit of going after the ones who don't want me, and casting aside the ones who do. Don't ask me why."  
  
Her shoulders sagged and, with a heavy sigh, her arresting eyes looked into his.  
He noticing that her lip had begun to quiver, but she quickly bit down hard on it, trying to prevent whatever emotion she was feeling from escaping... "My dear! You're shaking!" he exclaimed, catching hold of her paws. "Is there something the matter? If it was something I said-!"  
  
"Oh! Do I have to spell _everything_ out?" she said testily.  
  
"Well, seeing as I do not possess the powers of telepathy... yes," he came back, with a note of irony. "I wouldn't want to hazard a guess-"  
  
“Try taking a _look_ at me!” She snapped.  
  
"I _am_ looking at you," he said, perplexed.  
  
“No. _Really_ look!” She said insistently.  
  
"Er-" he faltered, not really knowing where this was going, or what she wanted from him.  
  
"What do you see?!" She asked.  
  
"I see... Bombalurina?" He got the impression that that wasn't the right answer. Something to do with her negative expression that was telling him thus...  
  
"Yes! But what do you _see?"_ she reiterated.  
  
"Is this a trick question?" he enquired.  
  
"Grrr!"  
  
_"And, there goes my patience!"_  
  
"I'll take that as a no, shall I?" he said sourly. "Look! Stop talking in riddles and just say what you mean, woman! All this back and forth is getting us nowhere!"  
  
"Fine!" She snapped. "Want to know what _I_ think?"  
  
"Will it take long-?" He started to query, glancing at the old grandfather clock that was perched on top of a Junk pile. It was almost midnight!  
  
But she talked over him (Something he hated... that _she_ did quite often!) "I think you see someone who is trying too hard! Someone who screws around with people's hearts, because that’s all she's ever been any good at-!"  
  
"Errr…I wouldn't have guessed that-" he admitted, scratching his head in consternation.  
  
She continued as though he hadn't spoken, "...Someone who has so little respect for herself, that she was perfectly willing to ditch the only one to treat her with any degree of respect, in favour of ones who treat her like dirt!"  
  
"Who are you referring to?" he questioned. "I'm rather confused... What have I done?" If only she would stop talking! “Either make sense, or shut up!” he wanted to yell at her. But bitter experience advised him otherwise.  
  
"Go on! Laugh at me!" She accused him. "You probably think, Oh! Ha ha! Look at the state Bombi's in. Serves her right! Everyone else bloody does!"  
  
She was in a funny mood tonight, that was for sure! "And, you're telepathic, are you?" He asked wearily.  
  
"What-?!"  
  
Now it was Munkustrap’s turn to interrupt, with a dry laugh, "I must say, I love how you women seem to think you know what everyone else is thinking about you!" Then he told her sharply, "Well! I have news for you! You don't! And, I am thinking none of those things that you are accusing me of! Where you are getting your absurd ideas from, I will never know!”  
  
“In fact, your opinion of me is a little high,” he added. “I am actually thinking a lot less than that-!"  
  
"Oh!" She huffed and stood up, standing with her back to him, so that she could spare him the view of her crumpled up face. Ok? So she was wrong! He was right, _and_ he knew it! Bast! He was always right! And, right now, she hated him for it!  
  
Munkustrap stared at her. What was UP with her? "Bombalurina?" he said softly.  
  
"What!" She sniffed.  
  
"Something has clearly upset you. If it isn't me… and let's face it. Why _would_ it be? I'm guessing it was Tugger-?" he said cautiously.  
  
"Who? That bastard?" She said acidly. "Yeah! He's great if you want some fun. Trouble is, he sucks at anything deeper than shallow! The smarmy coward!"  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that he has jilted you. Again," he replied, still treading carefully. You could never be too careful with Bombalurina when she was in this much of a bad mood!  
  
"Yeah, right-!" She scoffed.  
  
"No! Really! I am!" he insisted, when she threw back her head in a soundless laugh, that held no joy whatsoever.  
  
"Well, that makes two of us who have been well and truly had by the Abominable Swine!" he grimly conceded. Then he cracked a smile, came towards her and delicately placed his paws on either side of her shoulders. _“Brave!”_ She thought.  
  
"Well, what is his loss, can be our gain!" he reasoned. "What do you say?"  
  
She sighed. _“Not the worst idea he’d ever had! But still…”_ "I'm not good enough for you, and you know it!" She said breezily.  
  
"I wish people would stop saying that!" He complained. "I am perfectly capable of being the decider of what is good enough for me, and what isn't!” He tried again, “So? Was that a yes? Or a no?"  
  
"You should find yourself someone better-" she started.  
  
"Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think I would see the day when Bombalurina thought a tom too good for her!" He interjected. "Either you are unwell, or you are simply being too hard on yourself-!"  
  
"Makes a change from being described as 'easy', I suppose-" she had to remark.  
  
"...And if 'better' were to walk passed, right now, then I doubt I would notice!" he finished.  
  
She still had her back to him, so, wanting to catch her eye, he gently turned her around. But she refused to meet his gaze; seeming, instead, to be taking a great deal of interest in a small patch of floor just in front of his feet; while, the odd glistening drip told him that she was still crying. “Bombi!” He said, more kindly. “To be honest, whether you're good enough or not, is neither here nor there, since I am a tom who has been forced to… shall we say, _abstain,_ for almost three months!”  
  
“Yes! I've been counting!” he added in response to her raised eyebrows. “So, for Frigg’s sake, do you _really_ think I care?!”  
  
Reaching out, he cupped her chin with his paw, and gently forced her to look up, so that he could finally gaze into her glistening eyes. Bast! Was Tugger blind, or what? She was positively ravishing! Especially with her delicate lips curled into that coy little smile that she was famous for. It drove him slightly crazy, as a matter of fact! "What are you thinking?" she asked, noticing that he had momentarily drifted off.  
  
He smiled back and gently used his thumb to wipe away a tear that was trickling down her cheek, and then traced the line of her finely chiseled jaw with the backs of his fingers. "I am thinking that your lips look divine," he whispered and leaned in to kiss her…

But his lips barely brushed against hers, when, rather than deepen the kiss, she gasped and quickly turning her head away. Not _quite_ the reaction that he was expecting! In fact, she may as well have just hit him, for the bruise that was forming on his ego was painful indeed! As was the awkward pause that followed. "I must have misread your intentions," he murmured, his ears flickering with mortification. "My apologies. I'll not waste anymore of your time."

And he roughly pulled away, intending to stalk off into the night, when she grabbed hold of his upper right arm with two paws and cried out, "No! Munk…!" causing him to wince a little as her claws dug into his skin. She was breathing hard, and tears tumbled down her cheeks faster than ever. "Sweetie! You know it's not like that...!" she whispered hoarsely.  
  
"Isn't it?" He questioned, looking skeptical. "Well? What is it like, then? Because, if you're trying to mess me around, Bombi, then forget it! I have better things to do-"  
  
"I was with you in the infirmary!" she blurted out. "I watched you die! I can't get the image out of my head, not even when I sleep!"  
  
He rolled his eyes and sighed, “Oh Bombi!” before putting his arms around her waist and nuzzling her forehead. "Then, allow me to plant an altogether different image in your mind, before I keel over again," he said softly.  
  
And, before she could argue, dipped his head to nuzzle her collarbone, gently nipping the base of her neck, until she closed her eyes, and let out a deep and blissful sigh. "Easy!" she breathed, even as her fingertips seemed to find their own way to the contours of his lower back. "You know I could never resist that!"  
  
Feeling a little more confident, he began to nuzzle his way to her lips, trying to steal a kiss… But the sassy temptress kept pulling away for some strange reason. Was she enjoying watching him squirm? Or was she just being plain cruel? Eventually he had no option but to groan with frustration, "How much longer are you planning to tease me for!? You DO want me, don't you?"  
  
“Patience!” She said calmly, placing her paws on either side of his head, keeping her lips tantalizingly out of reach. "I'd like a dance, first."  
  
"Fiend!" he cursed her. "Is fighting off the scum you seem to attract not enough? You _do_ realise that three months is an awfully long time to go without...!"  
  
She pouted. “Oh, come on! It's ages since we had a dance. Please? Do it for me?”  
  
He thought about it. “Then after that, can we…?” He asked, looking hopeful.  
  
She shrugged and said laconically, “Depends.”  
  
“On?” He pressed.  
  
Her paws slid down his arms, until she had hold of his, and, with the tip her tongue resting on her front teeth, playfully answered, “On how well you move. I might not feel like it, otherwise.”  
  
He rolled his eyes and grudgingly relented, "Fine! Have it your way!”  
  
She smiled victoriously, “And they have the nerve to call me easy!”

“Who's They? The ones who survived the nuclear war? Because you're about as easy as one!” He remarked, but she just laughed at his terse manner, having known all along what she wanted him to do.

She just had to get him in the right mood, that was all, or there'd be no chance of this reticent tom doing anything off the cuff, or in fact, anything that might be construed as riské! It wasn't that he was particularly scared or self conscious. He just didn't see the point! However, give any tom a good enough incentive, and they'd do pretty much anything you asked! So, she slunk around him, until her back was pressing against his, giving a little shimmy of the shoulders whilst biting her lip in an obviously suggestive way. He looked back over his shoulder, and rolled his eyes again, guessing at what she was alluding to. “Always have to have everything, don't you?” He sniped, then said reluctantly, “Well, alright! Just this once!"  
  
And with that, began to copy her, meeting her playful gaze with one to match, as he raised his arms and bumped his hips against hers. “With moves like, that you'll be stealing Rum Tum Tugger's fanclub in no time!" She commented, with a look of approval.  
  
"Either that, or they'll die of shock!" He chuckled.  
  
She did likewise, “I never knew you had it in you!”  
  
“You forget, my dear,” he replied, as he danced. “That I used to do this professionally, before Tugger even knew what a twerk was! _He_ thought it was an insult you called someone! Mind you, this wasn't _quite_ the dance I had in mind." He turned and put his arms around her waist, feeling her yield and lean into him, while he uttered softly in her ear, “Seeing as you are so good at it, it would be a shame _not_ to tango!”  
  
Still smiling at the image of Tugger calling someone a twerk, Bombalurina allowed him to lead her across the floor in a sensuous dance; stepping and turning, lifting her up and setting her down, but always, as was custom with this particular dance, keeping contact with her, staying tantalizingly close, close enough to almost kiss her, as one of her legs hooked around his waist and she folded backwards over his arm. But he didn't kiss her. Instead, he sang,  
  
_“Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin_ _  
_ _Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in_ _  
_ _Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love_ _  
_ _Oh, let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone_ _  
_ _Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon_ _  
_ _Show me slowly what I only know the limits of_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love.”_ _  
_ _  
_ She answered in her own husky tones, _  
_ _  
_ _“Dance me to the night now, dance me on and on_ _  
_ _Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long_ _  
_ _We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love_ _  
_ _  
_ _Dance me to the children who are asking to be born_ _  
_ _Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn_ _  
_ _Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love.”_  
  
And then they were both singing while dancing, his soft tenor blending with her contralto,  
  
_“Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin_ _  
_ _Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in_ _  
_ _Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love_ _  
_ _Dance me to the end of love.”_  
  
(Dance Me to The End of Love by Leonard Cohen)  
  
From where she finished, draped over his arm once again, she rose up and they came to rest nose to nose, breathing hard from exertion, Munkustrap looking into her eyes, feeling deeply puzzled. “Children who are asking to be born?” He repeated.  
  
“Don't look so surprised! I may be a slag, but I'm not heartless!” came the curt reply.  
  
“I never thought you were either of those things,” he said. “I'm just wondering what brought… _that..._ on? Seeing as you always said you didn't want to be lumbered with-”  
  
“I told Tugger I wanted kittens,” she confessed, cutting him off (again!)  
  
Without changing his expression, for Munkustrap could accurately guess at his brother's reaction to _that_ revelation, and it really was of no surprise whatsoever, he simply answered, “Let me guess. He freaked.”  
  
Her shoulders drooped as she admitted, “Pretty much. Either way-”  
  
“You couldn't have kittens with him, so now you've decided to come crawling to me. Well, isn't that nice!” he finished, his tone slightly cutting.  
  
“Munk!” She pleaded, her eyes suddenly flushed with guilt. “I thought you and me could-”  
  
“You said that you and me are history,” he reminded her. “Or have you forgotten?”  
  
"Well, that was a long time ago. We've changed. I'd like to think that we've grown up a little," she reasoned, draping her arms over his shoulders.  
  
Being almost as tall as him, she was one of the few queens who could accomplish this feat without having to stand on a box! "Have we?" he asked dryly.  
  
He thought about Jazzie, and was immediately struck with equal guilt. But, then again, he couldn't forget about what she'd done. It made him feel sick, just painting the picture of her in his mind. In that room. With _him…!_ "Thinking about something?" Bombalurina asked, breaking through his meanderings.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
She gazed fixedly into his eyes, as though trying to read them. "It's just that you wandered off for a moment, there, and I was wondering where you'd got to," she said.  
  
He sighed and looked away, filled with sudden doubt. "I don't like this. Whatever it is, it isn't a good idea-" he began.  
  
" _She_ was unfaithful!" Bombalurina argued, taking a wild guess as to whom he was thinking about. It filled her heart with something. Something akin to bitterness. Or was it envy? Well, if it was either of those things, _she_ wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing them.  
  
His eyes snapped up to meet hers. "So were _you,_ if I remember rightly!" He shot back. "And besides that, how do you know about-?"  
  
"Everyone knows," she admitted.  
  
"What?!" He gasped in horror.  
  
She shrugged. "Well. This _is_ Rum Tum Tugger we're dealing with, here," she said with a note of sourness in her voice. "He's been doing his usual bragging; about how he stole his brother's girl out from under his nose… blah blah-! It didn't even register with him that he'd cheated on  _me_ as well. But then, that's not exactly unexpected...!"  
  
As she said this, she watched his face change, registering feelings of outrage and anguish. But only for the briefest of seconds, before returning to his usual brooding calm; like pan of water on constant simmer. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He suddenly accused her. "Although, I can't say I’m surprised. If Bombalurina isn't the centre of the drama, then she is gloating over someone else's!"  
  
"Hey! That's not fair!" Bombalurina argued, affronted.  
  
He quickly backtracked, “No, you're right. That wasn't. I'm sorry."  
  
Rather than feeling angered or upset by his harsh accusations, she looked at him, worried. For the troubled lines etched onto his face really said it all: the mental hurt. The pain. It was all there. Imploding within him like an atomic bomb. Pain so powerful, that it was impossible for him to keep inside. It was in his eyes. And then, it seemed to be all around them, coming out of the still calm, the sudden breeze whipping up their fur, sending paper flying into the air like a flock of doves, and paint cans clattering across the floor. Bombalurina followed them apprehensively with her eyes, then darted her head upwards, as the distant drum roll of thunder reverberated somewhere overhead. Accept that, there were no rain clouds to be seen! Just a blanket of black mist, curling ominously above their heads. And, with a spark of realisation, she sensed that it was the tom in front of her who was somehow causing this. “Munk! Stop it!” She whispered, feeling just a little bit afraid.  
  
He followed her gaze and looked up, seemingly unmoved by what he saw. “I can't,” he admitted.  
  
“Then, let me help you!” She pleaded.  
  
“You can't!” He said sadly.  
  
“I can try!” She insisted.  
  
“I don't want you to try!” He began. “I just-”  
  
“Want her. I know!” She answered sympathetically. “But _I_ need you, Munkustrap. Right now! Can't you just... you know... pretend to love me?”  
  
“You know I don't pretend with you, Bombi!” He said fervently.  
  
“Then love me! Now!” She pleaded, and without thinking, kissed him passionately, folding her arms around him, caressing his head and shoulders, as he pressed his lips into hers, almost drowning in desire.  
  
Overhead, there was a single, blinding _flash!_ followed by a hiss, as an electric bolt sparked off an old television aerial. But, as the passion was ignited and things began to heat up, the wind died down to a feathery, light breeze that seemed caress and encourage them. "You’re going to get me into so much trouble...!" he managed to whisper breathlessly, before pushing her up against the car bonnet…

* * *

  
He gently kissed her, pressing her into the cool metal, as she wrapped her arms around him and deepened the soft kiss... When, suddenly overcome by another onset of doubt, he pulled up, breathing hard, “Bombi! We shouldn't be doing this…!”  
  
“Who says we shouldn't?” She breathed back.  
  
“I…” He hesitated, so she lifted herself up a little and gently nuzzled his neck, murmuring into his fur,  
  
“Do you want to do this? Or not?”  
  
He didn't answer, so she calmly suggested, “We can stop... if you want... I'll go and… find Tugger. Talk him round. Either way, we'll sort something out. Do you want to stop?”  
  
“No,” he admitted, hating himself.  
  
She smiled and stroked his face. “Well, there you are then,” she reasoned. “Stop fussing and bloody make love to me! I can't wait forever, you know!”

* * *

  
"Munk?" She whispered, a little while later.  
  
“Mmm?”  
  
She was cuddling him, his head resting upon her chest, as she gazed up at the night sky, basking in the fading afterglow of their lovemaking. She bent her head and kissed his cheek. "Munk!" She whispered again, slightly louder.  
  
"That's not my name and you know it!" he mumbled sleepily.  
  
"Alright then! _Munkustrap?"_ She said, stroking his ears.  
  
“What?” Another mumbled reply.  
  
She whispered in his ear, “I just thought you should know. That was the best sex I've ever had!”  
  
“Oh! Well...Thank you,” he muttered, sounding surprised. “You weren't so bad yourself.” He yawned.  
  
“No one's ever made me come three times before,” she carried on. “At least, not in a row…”  
  
“Really?” He spluttered. “It wasn't exactly hard.”  
  
She smiled knowingly. “You surprise me again, Mr Munkustrap, Sir!”  
  
“No surprise,” he said modestly. “Just this thing called experience.”  
  
“Never had you down as a sex God, though.”  
  
“Well, I don't exactly flaunt it. Those who shout the loudest have less to offer, in my opinion.”  
  
“I'm inclined to agree,” she said quietly. “Golly! That last one, though! The way you kept it going... I thought I was going to die!”  
  
He chuckled, unable to stop himself from feeling a little flattered, even though she probably said that to all toms, in order to butter them up. Well, if it was a buttered up tom she was after, then, after what she'd just done to _him,_ she could have whatever she wanted, as far as he was concerned! “I still can't believe that was the best you've ever had, though. Seriously? You remember _all_ of your many encounters?”  
  
“Ahem? Many?! I'm not a slut, I'll have you know!” She spluttered.  
  
“Well, you've had more than _me!”_ He countered. “And if _that_ doesn't constitute a slut, then I don't know what does!”  
  
“More than you?” she repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Psh! Yeah! I doubt that!”  
  
“And yes,” she added. “I remember every single one. Don't you?”  
  
He looked a little sheepish and admitted, “Ummm. Not exactly. Sorry to say. I can remember the one I just had, obviously... But... not the one before. Bast! When even _was_ the last one?”  
  
“Three months, you said.”  
  
“Oh yeah! Gosh! A lifetime ago, then!”  
  
“Don't you remember any?” She laughed.  
  
He had another think. “A few stand out, if I think hard enough. But, to be honest, I'm more focused on the next venture, rather than the one before. It's what keeps a tom endlessly roaming.”  
  
“So? _Casanova._ Do you think you could... you know... do it again?” She asked, smirking.  
  
He looked at her. “What? Give you three more orgasms?”  
  
She winked. “I wouldn't say no.”  
  
“Well, I am a little tired…” he started to say, but she gave him _that_ look, so he instead changed his excuse to an obliging, “But I can certainly try...!”

* * *

Sometime later...

  
Munkustrap was feeling more than a little exhausted. But alas! This queen had the energy of a Duracell bunny! She just seemed to go on and on… screaming his name and crying out for more, digging her claws into the fur on his back while he kissed her exposed neck, delighting in her ecstatic moans, as her whole body arched in a frenzy of climatic pleasure. But he wasn't about to admit that he was flagging! Oh, no, no, no! What? After the complaints about not having sex for three months? Not on your Nelly! After all, a tom knew he had to take it while he could get it! But, at the same time, Munkustrap couldn't help but secretly hope, in a small part of his brain, that Tugger would take back the reins sooner rather than later. Anything for a well earned rest! For this queen had seemingly insatiable needs!  
  
“What are you thinking about?” There she went again! And this time, he was the one holding her, while she rested her head on his chest, facing upwards, so that she could look at the stars. Initially, he thought she'd fallen asleep like that, but, unfortunately...  
  
“Oh. This and that. Nothing exciting,” he replied dismissively. “You?”  
  
“I was just wondering,” She pondered out loud. “When you were lying there… you know..."  
  
“Half dead?” He finished for her.  
  
“Mmm,” she responded. “Were you thinking about... _It?”_  
  
"I don't understand. Maybe, try using complete sentences, rather than half ones?" He suggested.  
  
_"You_ know!" She said wryly. Well, she wasn't talking about the weather! “The thing that toms never seem to stop thinking about? Were you thinking about it then?”  
  
“What an odd question!”  
  
“I'm curious!”  
  
"Um… I can't really remember, Bombi...if I’m honest… Cause...you know. Dead people tend not to do much in the way of cognitive thinking," he murmured.  
  
She didn't seem at all satisfied with that answer, however, so he said admittedly, after a bit of thought, "Seeing as love is in the very fabric of a tom’s being, I suppose there is never a convenient time for him to die.”  
  
“Because he will always regret the last conquest he _didn't_ get to partake in?" She gathered.  
  
“Exactly! You know me very well!” He said, smirking a little. And then asked hopefully, “Was that it? Can I sleep now, slave driver?” Sadly, not.  
  
"That plant pot?" she enquired.  
  
“What about the plant pot?” came the tired reply.  
  
“Must've been heavy?” She commented.  
  
"Mmm...it was... _fairly,"_ he said. "Another lesson learned from Rumpus. When all else fails, chuck stuff!"  
  
She gave him an incredulous look and repeated, "Fairly!?"  
  
"Well, when I say fairly, what I actually meant to say was, it was no heavier than you, my dear!" He said evenly.  
  
There was a short pause, before she realised what he had said. "Bloody cheek!" She squealed and thwacked him right on the arm!  
  
He burst out laughing. "What? What did I say?"  
  
"I don't have to put up with this, you know!" She said crossly, giving him a cold look.  
  
"And I just _love_ it when you get angry!" he said mischievously. "That little pout that you do, it's so endearing…” That earned him a savage glare! “Anyway,” he continued. “I'd love it more, if you'd let me get some sleep!"  
  
She gave him one more sideways look, and then went back to gazing up at the line of stars that made up Orion's Belt. She studied them for quite awhile, wondering about them. What they were, and how the shape they made looked nothing like a belt buckle belonging to a giant! "Didn't quite make it to your den, did we?" She murmured quietly.  
  
"Ah! But nothing quite beats sleeping out under the stars, with the most ravishing queen the world using you as pillow," he chuckled.  
  
"Aren't you uncomfortable?" She asked.  
  
He kissed her forehead and whispered, "Incredibly! But, I don't mind."  
  
Smiling, she closed her eyes and wrapped an arm around him, lazily singing as his arm draped itself around her, absent mindedly caressing the small of her back, until he too began to nod off…  
  
_"If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened_ _  
_ _If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself_ _  
_ _If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and_ _  
_ _If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much_ _  
_ _  
_ _Ooh this could be messy_ _  
_ _But you don't seem to mind_ _  
_ _Ooh don't go telling everybody_ _  
_ _And overlook this supposed crime_ _  
_ _  
_ _We'll fast forward to a few years later_ _  
_ _And no one knows except the both of us_ _  
_ _And I have honored your request for silence_ _  
_ _And you've washed your hands clean of this_ _  
_ _  
_ _You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me_ _  
_ _You're a kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me_ _  
_ _I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian_ _  
_ _I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it_ _  
_ _  
_ _Ooh this could get messy_ _  
_ _But you don't seem to mind_ _  
_ _Ooh don't go telling everybody_ _  
_ _And overlook this supposed crime_ _  
_ _  
_ _We'll fast forward to a few years later_ _  
_ _And no one knows except the both of us_ _  
_ _I've more than honored your request for silence_ _  
_ _And you've washed your hands clean of this_ _  
_ _  
_ _What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?_ _  
_ _What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?_ _  
_ _What with this distance it seems so obvious?_ _  
_ _  
_ _Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family_ _  
_ _We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse_ _  
_ _I wish I could tell the world cause you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly_ _  
_ _I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body_ _  
_ _  
_ _Ooh this could be messy and_ _  
_ _Ooh I don't seem to mind_ _  
_ _Ooh don't go telling everybody_ _  
_ _And overlook this supposed crime.”_  
  
(Hands Clean by Alanis Morissette)

* * *

  
The Junkyard was quiet and still, the wind having died completely. Nothing moved, save for the moonlight, which gently flickered, as though a shadow was passing across it.  
  
Out of instinct, Munkustrap's eyes suddenly snapped open, and darted to the corner of the clearing, where a ghost was standing, staring at him. So, as delicately as he could, without waking her, he reluctantly untangled himself from Bombalurina, stood up and jumped down off the car bonnet. "How long have you been standing there?" he demanded, glaring at the intrusive apparition.  
  
"Long enough," Poseidon replied, with a knowing smirk.  
  
Munkustrap’s eyes narrowed. But, Poseidon only continued to smile, which made Munkustrap even angrier. "The deal?" The ghost reminded him.  
  
"I _said_ I would sort it!" Munkustrap snapped.  
  
"When? Next Jellicle Eve?" Poseidon suddenly cried. "I cannot wait much longer, Brother. Death is threatening to toss me into that lake, because I keep deserting my post!"  
  
"Well, here's a suggestion," Munkustrap sardonically replied. "You could try staying put, rather than bothering me every five minutes!"  
  
But the ghost wailed, "Years have passed! Why do you keep me waiting?"  
  
Munkustrap frowned, puzzled. "Years? But it's only been a few months! Hasn't it?"  
  
"Time works differently in Doomnation," Poseidon explained. "Believe me when I say I have been patient...!"  
  
"Who are you talking to, my sweet?"  
  
Bombalurina was sitting up, looking concerned; having woken with a start, to find her arms bereft of big Silver male. She looked about, and quickly spotted him… noticing that he was standing rigidly in the middle of the dance floor, apparently having some sort of dispute with… What? There was nothing there that _she_ could see! Perhaps because it was lurking in the shadows? Well! Whatever it was, Jazzie had warned her to expect some strange behaviour! But Bombalurina shrugged it off. She didn't care. She had more pressing matters. For a start, she was feeling cold! "Er...no one…" Munkustrap quickly lied. "I thought I saw something, but it turned out to be nothing…"  
  
Bombalurina smiled as she slid gracefully from the car bonnet and slunk over to him. "Were you protecting me from something scarwy?" she asked in a playful voice, pouting and batting her eyes.  
  
"Depends on what you define as scary," he replied reservedly, his paws naturally coming to rest on her hips as she slipped her arms around his shoulders.

"Who says I'm scared?" she whispered, pulling him back towards the old Ford. "Come on, Handsome. I am not done with you yet!" _Really?!_  
  
Flashing one last glare at the now empty corner of the junkyard, Munkustrap thought it best to do what he was told. Poseidon would have to wait a little longer. "Should _I_ be scared?” he asked, turning his attention back to her.

But in response, she simply pushed him back onto the warm metal and straddled him. Then, put a finger to his lips and lavishly replied, "Very!" _Uh oh!_

* * *

Jazzie gazed sadly at the kitten's face, before gently covering her over with a shroud. "We gave Sophia the best life we could," sniffed Jennyanydots, whose own newborns were nestled in a basket in the corner of the ward. "She is at peace now."  
  
"It is sad," commented Jazzie. "Life can be so cruel sometimes."  
  
"Isn't it just!" sighed Jennyanydots, sadly.  
  
One of her kittens, a little tom, whom she had named Anchises, had died shortly after being born, leaving her with three daughters, who she had named Dellasole, Hesione and Oenone. "Right," sighed Jazzie. "I had better go and break ze sad news to her brozzer. Yay." There was little enthusiasm in her voice as she said this, for, being the bearer of bad news, though very much a part of her job, was probably the least favourable aspect of it.  
  
"When you've done that, dear, would you mind popping this in to Munkustrap?" Jennyanydots asked gently. "I think he'll be wanting it back." And she handed Jazzie a cleaned and fully restored, black collar.

Jazzie frowned, as she took it from her, and and stammered, "He-he's back?"  
  
She had hardly dared to think about the Silver Bengcoon over the last few months; had fought to keep her mind focussed her mind on her work... But, even so, he was never too far from her thoughts. For he would always find a way to linger there, like a wisp of smoke, catching her out when she least expected it... "Why, yes, dear,” Jennyanydots was saying, matter of factly. "He returned to his den early this morning. I saw the smoke coming out of the chimney! Why? Has he not been over to see you, yet?"  
  
Jazzie's frown deepened. "No… he hasn't."

* * *

Taking a deep breath, Jazzie made her way across the yard and climbed up to Munkustrap's front door… To find that it was closed.  _ "That's odd," _ she thought.  _ "It's always open." _

However, she didn't think too much of it... she was just going to give him his collar, and then she'd leave... Yes! That's what she would do! So, taking another deep breath, she gave the door a push... and, to her surprise, it swung open easily. But, as it opened, her nose instantly caught the whiff of something strange; a mellow aroma, akin that of a sweet perfume, that drifted towards her as she cautiously entered inside. Munkustrap was definitely there, but... so was someone else! "Oh!" She cried.

The sight that unravelled itself before her, stopped her dead in her tracks! She desperately wanted to look away, but couldn't tear her eyes from Munkustrap... and the Red Somali queen who he was with! In fact, so distracted were the pair, that they didn't even noticed her come in... until the collar slipped from her paws and hit the ground with a soft  _ thud! _

Startled, Bombalurina screamed! While the word that Munkustrap uttered was clearly written on his face, “Shiiiiiiiiiit!”

After the initial shock of seeing Jazzie standing there, frozen to the spot, he promptly leapt from the bed, his horrified expression mirroring that of her’s, as he started towards her, holding out his paw. "Jazzie…" he pleaded. "Please! I can explain…!"   
  
"No…!" She shook her head and began to back away, her voice as icy as her expression, "Please don't...!" And with that she bolted for the entrance! 

Munkustrap wasn't far behind though, and, diving forwards, made to grab her... only for her to slip out of his grasp, leaving him with nothing more than a pawful of fur…! "Jazzie! Wait-!" He commanded, following her as she disappeared on out of the door, but not before she closed it on him first!   
  
Yanking it back open, he immediately tore after her, calling for her to stop, but was subsequently ignored, and, instead of stopping, she instead ran full pelt across the yard, heading towards her own den. Having gained a head start, she knew he couldn't catch her, even though he was faster than her… surprisingly, faster than she thought! For she hadn't expected him to be up behind her so soon! But she was so close…! Just one scrap pile to climb…!  “Leave me alone!!!” She yelled, as he made a second grab for her and, this time, caught her around the waist, dragging her back from the junk pile while she struggled and squirmed, scratching and biting.

“Jazzie…! Please! Just... listen-!” He tried, but she only screamed at the top of her lungs and shouted, 

“Bite me!!!” before twisting around and sinking her teeth into his forearm... causing him to curse loudly and let go!

This gave her enough time to escape, scurrying up the pile of junk to get to her front door… However, just before she got there, he made a final, desperate lunge for her... but, unfortunately, missed and instead, ended up with three wooden boards, roughly nailed together, being slammed in his face! “Fuck!” He cursed yet again, rubbing his forehead. "Jazzie! Open this door!" He shouted, hammering on it.

But, of course, it wouldn't open, seeing as, she had not only locked it, but had also placed an upturned crate (the only furniture she had) against it, and was sitting on it with her paws over her ears, trying to drown him out. She didn't know how she could ever bare to look at him again. Not without the image of what she had just witnessed burning into the back of her mind, making her feel ill; sick, right to her stomach and chilled to the bone. So chilled and so numb, in fact, that she didn't even feel the tears sliding down her cheeks, until one tickled the side of her mouth. With a trembling paw, she automatically reached up to rub it away, and then, noticing blood on her fingers, gently licked the side of her mouth, tasting its metallic saltiness, and feeling the strands of fur sticking between her teeth...  _ His _ fur.  _ His _ blood! “Oh God! What have I done?!” she sobbed.

Meanwhile, Munkustrap was considering kicking the flimsy, wooden door in, but then, quite sensibly, decided against that course of action. Seeing as he had just broken her heart, it wouldn't do to frighten her as well! So instead, he uttered a series of loud profanities, at the same time as turning around and slamming the back of his head against the door, before gradually sinking down to his haunches and squeezing his eyes shut, groaning, "Goddammit! Haven't you French Cat's ever heard of  _ knocking?" _   
  
He felt a paw on his shoulder, and opened his eyes to see Bombalurina staring at him, with a mixture of guilt and concern etched into her face. "Oh, Bomb!" he groaned again. "I've really put my foot in it this time!"

“I can see! She bit you?!” She exclaimed, shocked at the seemingly uncharacteristic brutality displayed by a queen who was usually so perfectly genteel.

Not bothering to look down at his paws, which, he knew, were scratched to pieces, or even his right forearm, where four, tooth shaped puncture wounds were spilling beads of blood into his fur, Munkustrap replied mournfully, “Yeaa… I'd have bit me too…”   
  
"I could try talking to her…?" Bombalurina tentatively suggested.   
  
He shot her a look of irony. "What makes you think she's even going to let you in?"   
  
"Good point…" she suddenly remembered.   
  
Then, they heard an angry shout. "Hey! What the Hell is going on!?"

“Great! That's all I need!” Munkustrap muttered, as an angry Hortenseya came storming over, her expression as dangerous as a fork of lighting. And it was aimed squarely at him!   
  
For, as Munkustrap’s luck would have it, the formidable blue Korat had noticed the commotion as she was passing, arm in arm with a certain Magician; who grinned impishly at the scene before him. "Let me guess, Father," he laughed. "She went to pay you a visit and got more than she bargained for?"   
  
That earned him a glare and a sarcastic reply, "Oh, you are on fire today-!"   
  
"Out of my way!" ordered Hortenseya, shoving the disgraced Jellicle Protector aside. "I shall sort this!" And she rapped sharply on the door. "Jazzie! It's me, Tensey. Let me in, please!"   
  
After a moment, the door creaked open, by just enough so that she and Bombalurina could slip through. "Mistoffelees, you can come too!" She added, but hissed at Munkustrap when he tried to follow. "I think you have done enough damage, wouldn't you agree?!" She sharply reprimanded him. 

“This has nothing to do with you, Hortenseya!” he growled. “Now, stand aside!”

“It has EVERYTHING to do with me!” She fiercely countered.  _ “I'm _ all the family she's got!  _ I _ protected her before! And I'm NOT about to stop now! Not now that she's hurt, because of  _ you!” _

“Excuse me?  _ She's _ hurt?!” he started to splutter, holding up his injured arm. But at her viperish glare, he softened his tone, pleading, “Please! I don't care about this! I just want to see her!”

But Hortenseya shook her head and sharply informed him, "Your kittens have arrived, so I would go and see  _ them, _ if I were you! Because, if you think you're going to barge your way in here, then you've got another thing coming, Sunshine!" And once again, the door slammed shut in his face.

"Fine! I am done here!" he snapped, and began to stalk off across the yard, muttering, "Queens!" as he went.

But he hadn't taken more than a few steps, when he stopped and turned to look back, sorrow in his eyes. "Jazzie!" he called. "I know you can hear me! I'm sorry! Please! Just let me explain!”  
  
_"Whiskey tango, From the top_ _  
_ _I will blow your mind I just can't stop_ _  
_ _Burn a candle, In my name_ _  
_ _You can bury me with all my shame_ _  
_ _  
_ _The poison of sadness_ _  
_ _The breaking of the heart_ _  
_ _The echo of madness_ _  
_ _Tearing us apart_ _  
_ _Oh, it's tearing us apart!_ _  
_ _  
_ _I've been falling for the day_ _  
_ _Like I'm falling for the night_ _  
_ _Running from the darkness_ _  
_ _Till I'm running from the light_ _  
_ _I've been falling for the day_ _  
_ _Like I'm falling for the night_ _  
_ _Trying to make it better, but I just can't get it right_ _  
_ _No, I just can't get it right!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Huh, huh, huh, huh_ _  
_ _Huh, oh, oh_ _  
_ _  
_ _Do you remember, All of my words?_ _  
_ _How I promised you what you deserved?_ _  
_ _I'm a liar, I'm a thief_ _  
_ _But I need you more than you need me_ _  
_ _  
_ _The poison of sadness_ _  
_ _The breaking of the heart_ _  
_ _The echo of madness_ _  
_ _Tearing us apart_ _  
_ _Oh, it's tearing us apart_ _  
_ _  
_ _I've been falling for the day_ _  
_ _Like I'm falling for the night_ _  
_ _Running from the darkness_ _  
_ _Till I'm running from the light_ _  
_ _I've been falling for the day_ _  
_ _Like I'm falling for the night_ _  
_ _Trying to make it better, but I just can't get it right_ _  
_ _No, I just can't get it, oh, oh, oh_ _  
_ _  
_ _Huh, huh, huh, huh_ _  
_ _Huh, oh, oh (oh, hey, hey)_ _  
_ _Huh, huh, huh, huh (oh, oh, oh)_ _  
_ _Huh, oh, oh (yeah, yeah, yeah)_ _  
_ _  
_ _The poison of sadness_ _  
_ _The breaking of the heart_ _  
_ _The echo of madness_ _  
_ _Tearing us apart_ _  
_ _Hey, oh, I'm tearing us apart!_ _  
_ _  
_ _I've been falling for the day (falling for)_ _  
_ _Like I'm falling for the night (I've been running from)_ _  
_ _Running from the darkness_ _  
_ _Till I'm running from the light (I've been falling for)_ _  
_ _I've been falling for the day_ _  
_ _Like I'm learning for the night_ _  
_ _Trying to make it better, but I just can't get it right (I've falling for)_ _  
_ _I've been falling for the day_ _  
_ _Like I'm falling for the night (I've been running from)_ _  
_ _Running from the darkness_ _  
_ _Till I'm running from the light (I've been falling for)_ _  
_ _I've been falling for the day_ _  
_ _Like I'm falling for the night_ _  
_ _Trying to make it better, but I just can't get it right!_ _  
_ _Oh, no, I just can't get it, oh, oh, oh!"_  
  
(Whisky Tango by Jack Savoretti)  
  
But, despite his best efforts, the only response he received for his singing laments was a collective hug from his daughters and niece Jemima, one that almost bowled him over! “Dad!” They all cried (all except Victoria). “You're back!”  
  
His response was somewhat less enthusiastic. “Yes. I'm back,” He replied heavily, but sank down onto an old car tyre and gave each of them a half hearted nuzzle, just the same.  
  
For it was not like he wasn't pleased to see them. Of course he was! But for anyone who had suffered the shock and guilt that he just had, they would know that it was nigh on impossible for a heart to feel both joy and desolation all at once, especially with the negative feeling so raw that it stung. “You look well,” Jemima observed, in an attempt to cheer him up.  
  
“Yes,” he replied, still downbeat. “I suppose I do.” But then, at the sight of his daughters' worriedly sympathetic faces, he made an effort to brighten his demeanour a tad and enquired, "So? Where did you four rascals come from, anyway?"  
  
"We were practicing a new routine over by the gym, when we heard the commotion," Jemima explained, and then courteously reminded him, "And we're not rascals, Uncle! We’re grown ladies now, don't you know!"  
  
"I know, I was just teasing you!" Munkustrap replied, ruffling her head fur and making her scrunch up her face with embarrassment. "You're all wonderful, and I am very proud of you." That made them all beam with pride, and, thankfully didn't hear him mutter in an undertone, "But, by golly! Time hasn't half flown!"  
  
"Oi? Dad?” Electra suddenly piped up.

“Mmm?” he replied.

“I thought there was a fight just now!" She went on.

“Did you really?” came the sardonic response.

"Yeah! So, _I_ said, we can't miss that!" Etcetera continued. "But then, we realised it was only some queens giving you Hell again!"  
  
“Not in trouble already, are you Dad?” Asked Electra exasperatedly, for whom this was nothing new.  
  
Indeed, she and her twin sister Etcetera could plainly remember their mother Jellylorum and Aunt Jennyanydots giving him Hell on a regular basis, although she never knew why. She thought it best not to ask!  
  
Meanwhile, Etcetera was rolling her eyes. "Honestly, Dad!" She complained. "Why can't you just do what they say?"  
  
He smiled, even though he was feeling despondent, and stroked her naive head. "That's the trouble," he sighed. "You end up pleasing one, only to go and piss off another." And after that, slipped away as quietly as he could; his normally lofty tail held low to the ground, as though it too, was suffering from a loss of pride.


	16. The Piano

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man! This chapter was IMPOSSIBLE! Hope you guys like it!

In Jazzie's den, Mistoffelees, Hortenseya and Bombalurina were doing their best to comfort the distressed queen. Hortenseya held her sobbing friend, while Bombalurina placed a comforting paw on her shoulder. She flinched away from Bombalurina, but the Somali queen was persistent. "Look, I know you must hate me," she said gently. "And I don't exactly blame you, but you mustn't be mad at him. It wasn't his fault. It kind of was mine."   
  
"She's right, Jazzie," said Mistoffelees. "My father is not the kind of tom who goes around hurting queens and I am willing to bet that he is as cut up about this as you are. At the end of the day, I wouldn't want to be in his position. He was chosen by the queens to be our Protector and I guess that does make him a rather popular choice. Does it not Bombi...?"   
  
He smiled at the Somali, who winked. "I was the one who made him popular!" she bragged.   


Then she turned back to Jazzie, who was glaring at her. "Look, believe it or not," she said to her. "I do know what you're going through. We all have our heartaches, believe you me! Bast! I have been jilted and cheated on more times than I care to remember, but I've also done a fair bit of it myself so it's swings and roundabouts. When Munkustrap ditched me for Demeter I was devastated for sure (even though it was partly my fault!) But over time, I dealt with my feelings of jealousy. I had to. And you must do the same, or they will consume you!"

Jazzie sniffed. Bombalurina may have been right, but this gave her little comfort.  _"Love has played a cruel game, and looks like I am ze loser,"_  she thought dejectedly.

 _"For you I was the flame_ _  
_ _Love is a losing game_ _  
_ _Five story fire as you came_ _  
_ _Love is a losing game_ _  
_ _One I wish, I'd never played_ _  
_ _Oh, what a mess we made_ _  
_ _And now the final frame_ _  
_ _Love is a losing game_ _  
_ _Played out by the band_ _  
_ _Love is a losing hand_ _  
_ _More than I could stand_ _  
_ _Love is a losing hand_ _  
_ _Self-professed, profound_ _  
_ _Till the chips were down_ _  
_ _Know you're a gambling man_ _  
_ _Love is a losing hand_ _  
_ _Though I battled blind_ _  
_ _Love is a fate resigned_ _  
_ _Memories marr my mind_ _  
_ _Love is a fate resigned_ _  
_ _Over futile odds_ _  
_ _And laughed at by the gods_ _  
_ _And now the final frame_ _  
_ _Love is a losing game…"_

(Love is a losing game by Amy Winehouse)

* * *

Meanwhile in the creche, Munkustrap had his arms full to the point of bursting with five tiny fluff balls, all sleeping soundly. In one arm he held Dellasole, a gold and white Somali like her mother, whose fur shone like morning dew drops. Snuggled next to her was Hesione, who was a blue silver and white. Lastly Oenone, who was ruddy like Bombalurina, except with a streak of blue silver running from her head to her tail . In the other arm snuggled Jellylorum's black and gold spotted tom kitten Elias, who bore a remarkable resemblance to Rum Tum Tugger! His little sister Dolcie, on the other paw, was the spitting image of her father, with her silver fur and black marbling. "You've done well here, ladies," said Munkustrap, gazing proudly at the sleeping bundles. “They are simply...remarkable!”

He had to admit, they were rather cute. That wouldn't last long though! And as if on cue, the little male began to stir, disturbing his sister who also looked as though she was gearing up for a good old squall. "Whoop! Time to go back!" Munkustrap chuckled and he carefully transferred his brand new son and daughters to the waiting arms of their respective mothers.

However, the moment the kittens were out of his arms, his mood seemed to change and they couldn't fail to notice how glum he looked. Jennyanydots placed a paw on his shoulder. "Is something the matter, dear?" she asked looking concerned.

"Of course not, why would there be?" He quickly replied, painting on a half smile that didn't quite make it to his eyes, and it quickly faded as though keeping it there was too much of an effort.

"You cannot lie to me, my love, I know you too well, remember?" Jennyanydots scolded him gently. "You look as though you're dragging the weight of the world behind you. Now come on, offload!"

"It's nothing for you to concern yourself with-" he began dismissively.

"Queen trouble, I take it?" Jellylorum cut in.

"Something like that," he admitted, and then gave them a brief highlight as to what had occurred earlier, taking care to gloss over a few of the details.

Jellylorum tutted, "You always did attract the crazy ones, didn't you? I don't know!"

"Tell you what," said Jennyanydots. "I'll make us all a nice cup of tea. That'll cheer you up."

"That would be smashing, Jenny," said Munkustrap. "Thank Heaviside I have some sane ones!"

"What would you do without us, eh?" asked Jellylorum.

"I honestly don't know!" He chuckled. "Go mad probably!"

* * *

But despite cheering up briefly, he meandered back towards his den later that evening feeling empty and dejected. He couldn't face going back there, not just yet. So instead he made his way over to the gym and set straight to work on his favourite piece of apparatus; the parallel bars!

He diligently practiced a dozen or so handstand walks, followed by a few dips; almost relishing the burn in his muscles, as he imagined burning away all of his stress. After that he decided to practice his jumps, as it was imperative for a Protector to be able to jump both high and far! Despite being a little out of practice he still managed to clear the eight foot stack of tyres a couple of times, before he got bored of that. So then he jumped on top of them and somersaulted off instead. Much more fun! Next, he took a running jump and leapt clear over an eighteen foot length of laid out tyres. " _Still got it!"_  He thought.

Then he jumped up and caught hold of the metal high bar, whereupon he proceded to do some leg raises, followed by some pull ups (which came in most handy when you had no other option but to climb out of a sticky situation!) " _What was it Rumpus said?"_  he thought to himself. " _Don't do something because it is easy, do it because it is hard? Or something like that! How many are we up to now? Must be about a hundred by now...one hundred and one, one hundred and two...one hundred and...three..."_

He soon tired of the monotonous exercises, so pulled himself up into a straddle handstand and started to perform a few front giants, followed by some three hundred and sixty degree turns, just for the Hell of it!

"You never were one to take it easy, were you Hercules?" said a voice.

Munkustrap was far too exhausted to answer, so he hooked his legs over the bar, hung upside down and closed his eyes. Upon feeling someone's breath on his face, he tentatively opened an eye, to find his view blocked by an upside down Bombalurina. "Impressive!" she commended, gazing at him with a trademark sultry expression on her face.

"Ah, that was just a warm up," he replied dismissively. "You look most peculiar from this angle, by the way!"

"Why  _are_ you upside down?" she asked. "Were you a bat in your last life or something?"

"Aha! Yes. Well!" he exclaimed and then proceeded to carefully explain. "You see, bats are cleverer than they look, because, believe it or not, being upside down actually helps get more blood to the brain. And  _my_ brain needs all the help it can get today that's for sure...Hey don't knock it till you've tried it!"

He laughed, noticing her skepticism. "Although having said that," he added. "It's not easy to clear one's mind when you're standing in front of me giving me  _that_ look!"

"What you mean,  _this_ look?" She asked, batting her eyelids and pouting.

He jumped down and faced her. "Yes. Because I just love the whole broken doll look!" He remarked dryly.

"Cad!" She snapped, whacking him.

Then she grabbed his paw and proceeded to drag him back to his den. "Come along Tiger," she exhorted, with a wink. "I'm hungry, and not JUST for the chicken chasseur I've made!"

He rolled his eyes. "Do I have to?" He grumbled.

"Well you've got to go back there sometime!" She replied.

* * *

A rich, savoury aroma hit Munkustrap's nose when he returned to his den, but he didn't feel much like eating. No amount of food was ever going to fill the Jazzie shaped void. And as he had predicted, the drama of that morning began to replay itself in his mind the second he walked in through the door.

He suddenly knelt down to pick something up off the floor, turning it over in his paws, seeming lost in thought. "Here babes," Bombalurina kindly offered. "Let me help you with that."

She gently prized the collar out of his grasp and fastened it around his neck. "There!" she smiled, admiring him. "The picture is almost complete. All we need now, is a smile!"

He tried, but it still didn't quite reach his eyes, so she tutted and rubbed his ears with her paw, letting him nuzzle into it. Then he held it to his cheek and gave a heavy sigh. "You really are tearing up over this, aren't you?" she said, with a look of genuine concern.

He answered her with a mirthless chuckle. "What makes you think…?"

He caught sight of her raised eyebrow, and conceded, "Alright! Yeah, quite possibly. Just a bit. Actually, make that majorly. Sorry."

Bombalurina bit her lip. "I tried my best with her, I really did," she told him. "She might come round?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so Bomb," he said. "You didn't see the look on her face." He would have a hard time forgetting it.

"I did," she replied. "It was the same one that I was wearing, the day I saw you give Demeter  _that_  look. The one I thought was mine."

He was confused. "What look?" He demanded.

In reply, she folded her arms and pursed her lips, adding to the already raised eyebrows. Munkustrap stared at her, still perplexed. "And what is  _that_ look supposed to mean?" He asked defensively. "Bast! Do I LOOK like a mind reader? If I remember rightly, you  _encouraged_ me and Demeter to get together. "It's fine!" You said!"

"I lied," she confessed quietly.

"I've noticed that queens seem to do that an awful lot!" he remarked. "But if it is any consolation, I have added the burden of guilt to the ever growing pile. It is getting rather high now."

"I'm sorry," she tutted again and stroked his face, using her thumb to try to smooth out the lines on his forehead, that appeared to be bearing the brunt of that burden.

"I hurt you too, didn't I?" she whispered.

He glanced at her and shrugged. "It's no use apologising for what was intentional Bombi," he replied bluntly.

Then he smirked. "However I won't object to you at least  _trying_ to make it up to me!"

"Oh yeah?" She said, raising another eyebrow. "And how might I do that?"

"You have an imagination I take it?" There was a gleam in his eye as he said this.

He grasped her paws and began to dance with her around the room, Bombalurina unable to hold back a giggle at the ridiculousness of it all. Eventually, even he managed a smile. It was small, but it was definitely genuine.

 _"I found a love_ _  
__For me_ _  
__Oh darling, just dive right in_ _  
__And follow my lead_ _  
__Well, I found a queen_ _  
__Beautiful and sweet_ _  
__Oh, I never knew you were the someone_ _  
__Waitin' for me_ _  
__'Cause we were just kits when we fell in love_ _  
__Not knowing what it was_ _  
__I will not give you up this time_ _  
__But darling, just kiss me slow_ _  
__Your heart is all I own_ _  
__And in your eyes, you're holding mine_ _  
__  
__Baby, I'm dancing in the dark_ _  
__With you between my arms_ _  
__Barefoot on the ground_ _  
__Listening to our favourite song_ _  
__When you said you looked a mess_ _  
__I whispered underneath my breath_ _  
__But you heard it_ _  
__Darling, you look perfect tonight."_ _  
__  
_ Bombalurina answered him,  _  
__  
__"Well, I found a tom_ _  
__Stronger than anyone I know_ _  
__He shares my dreams_ _  
__I hope that someday we'll share a home_ _  
__I found a love_ _  
__To carry more than just my secrets_ _  
__To carry love, to carry children_ _  
__Of our own_ _  
__We're hardly kits, but we're still in love_ _  
__Fighting against all odds_ _  
__I know we'll be alright this time_ _  
__Darling, just hold my hand_ _  
__I'll be your queen, you'll be my tom_ _  
__And I see my future in your eyes."_ _  
__  
_ Then they both sang together,  _  
__  
__"Well, baby, I'm dancing in the dark_ _  
__With you between my arms_ _  
__Barefoot on the ground_ _  
__While listening to our favorite song_ _  
__When I saw you standing there_ _  
__Looking so beautiful_ _  
__I don't deserve this_ _  
__Darling, you look perfect tonight."_

(Perfect by Ed Sheeran and Beyonce)

* * *

He obediently ate the meal that she had cooked, even though every mouthful felt like pebbles in his mouth. Unfortunately, compared to Demeter, Bombalurina's cooking left a lot to be desired, but he could see that she had gone to a lot of trouble, so he dutifully cleared his plate, knowing better than to complain. "How was it?" she asked.

("Uh oh!") "Um...yeah. I liked it. It was...um, different...!" he lied. (The chicken was as tough as old boots, the sauce was lumpy, and it all came with a slightly acrid aftertaste, but apart from that…)

By the look on her face she clearly didn't believe him, but rather than castrate him she simply sighed, "Oh come on Munk, you don't have to lie to me. I know it was horrible! We both know that cooking isn't really my forte! Plus, you've been chewing on that piece of chicken for the past ten minutes!"

"Yes, well," he muttered. "I'll have you know that it is rather hard going, especially if you are minus a couple of teeth!"

Eventually, he managed to get the stubborn piece of chicken down and grinned. "We both know what you  _are_ good at though!"

She smiled and slipped her arms over his shoulders. "Oh  _really_!" she said, keeping her lips just out of reach. "And what would  _that_ be, Mr Munkustrap,  _Sir_?"

He groaned in frustration, "Well I can think of one thing so far!"

He moved in to kiss her again, but she kept pulling away. "Ah ah ah!" she scolded him, putting a finger to his lips. "I'm not going any further, until you take off that unbecoming frown, Precious! Go on!"

He made a face. "You are not nice!" he grumbled.

"Is that the best you can do?" she asked, frowning disapprovingly.

He sighed and softened his features into what he hoped was a handsome smile. "How's this?" He asked.

"That'll have to do!" she relented, smiling as their noses touched, and his lips brushed against hers.

She trembled. "I feel like a substitute," she whispered suddenly.

He pulled back, anguish plastered across his face. "Ouch!" He whispered.

She didn't reply, but instead cast her eyes downward and went back to chewing on her lower lip.

"If you are a substitute, then what does that make me?" he demanded.

Still no reply. "Fine! Do what you want!" He snapped and roughly turned away from her, pinching the bridge of his nose. With a frustrated sigh he walked over to the shelf, snatched up his guitar and threw himself down onto the bed whereby, after a bit of tuning, he began to play a sorrowful tune that matched his mood.

 _"If you want something to play with_ _  
_ _Go and find yourself a toy_ _  
_ _Baby, my time is too expensive_ _  
_ _And I'm not a little boy_ _  
_ _If you are serious_ _  
_ _Don't play with my heart, it makes me furious_ _  
_ _But if want me to love you_ _  
_ _Then, baby, I will, girl, you know I will_ _  
_ _Tell it like it is_ _  
_ _Don't be ashamed to let your conscience be your guide_ _  
_ _But I-I-I-I-I know deep down inside of me_ _  
_ _I believe you love me, forget your foolish pride_ _  
_ _Life is too short to have sorrow_ _  
_ _You may be here today and gone tomorrow_ _  
_ _You might as well get what you want_ _  
_ _So go on and live, baby, go on and live_ _  
_ _Tell it like it is_ _  
_ _I'm nothing to play with, go and find yourself a toy_ _  
_ _But I-I-I-I-I_ _  
_ _Tell it like it is_ _  
_ _My time is too expensive_ _  
_ _And I'm not your little boy, mmm tell it like it is…"_

(Tell It Like It Is by Aaron Neville)

While he sang, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor in front of him, she quietly slipped over to where he was sitting and settled herself down beside him. Her eyes never left his face. She felt deeply touched by the song, so much so, that when he had sung the final notes, she gently took the guitar from him and eased herself into his lap. Then she placed her paws behind his ears and pulled his head down, so that she could kiss the frown lines that traced across his forehead, encouraging them to soften. "You'd better not be sulking Mister!" She softly scolded, nuzzling his nose.

"I'm not sulking!" He murmured. "This is my happy face, I’ll have you know!"

"Really!?" She scoffed and moved onto his temples.

"Yes really," he replied. "I'm perfectly happy with being miserable. I couldn't possibly feel any worse."

"No one's happy with being miserable," she countered. "Which is why you're going to let me cheer you up. Right now!" She kissed his cheek.

"Is that all this is?" He asked dourly.

"You didn't care before," she replied, her voice sounding slightly muffled.

"I always care," he muttered. "That's the trouble."

She paused, with her lips a hair's width from his. "Alright," she whispered. "You want to know what this is? Well, I'll tell you. It's love. I promise. Always has been, always will be. And it's all yours, right now, if you want it?"

"Honey, I don't just want it," he whispered back. "I need it…"

* * *

A few days later saw Jazzie walking home from work, when someone jumped down beside her and placed his arm around her shoulders. "Hey Frenchie," crooned Rum Tum Tugger. "I'm sorry things didn't exactly work out between you and Munkus. Too bad, eh?"

Jazzie shrugged nonchalantly, "Bof! Just one of zose sings. I suppose t'was not meant to be."

"Aw, never mind babe," he said apathetically and then reminded her. "You got me!"

"Aren't I ze lucky one," Jazzie replied tonelessly.

"So, fancy going out with me tonight?" he asked.

She looked sideways at him and quickly turned down the offer. "No. I am good. Sank you-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer this time!" He cajoled.

"Answer to what?" She demanded.

"You and me of course?" He said as though that was the obvious answer.

She tried to pull away. "Not zis again!" She moaned in exasperation. "Tugger! Get it into your thick skull! We're friends, nossing more! Me comprenez-vous?"

He smirked. "I'm wearing you down, I can tell!" He kept insisting.

Did this guy never give up? "Look! I don't need zis," she yelled. "I am tired. I have had it up to here wiz selfish, arrogant toms! Now kindly va te faire foutre!"

He grabbed her wrist. "Come on! You can't mean that!" He protested.

"Don't tell me what I can't do!" She shouted, yanking her paw back.

 _"Oooh oh, oooh woh_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oooh oh, oooh woh_ _  
_ _  
_ _You say you love me, I say you crazy_ _  
_ _We're nothing more than friends_ _  
_ _You're not my lover, more like a brother_ _  
_ _I know you since we were like..., yeah_ _  
_ _  
_ _Don't mess it up, talking that shit_ _  
_ _Only gonna push me away, that's it_ _  
_ _When you say you love me, that make me crazy_ _  
_ _Here we go again!_ _  
_ _  
_ _Don't go look at me with that look in your eye_ _  
_ _You really ain't going away without a fight_ _  
_ _You can't be reasoned with, I'm done being polite_ _  
_ _I've told you 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 thousand times_ _  
_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it obvious?_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it clear?_ _  
_ _Want me to spell it out for you?_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it obvious?_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it clear?_ _  
_ _Want me to spell it out for you?_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _  
_ _Have you got no shame, you looking insane_ _  
_ _Turning up at my door_ _  
_ _It's 2 in the morning, the rain is pouring_ _  
_ _Haven't we been here before?_ _  
_ _  
_ _Don't mess it up, talking that shit_ _  
_ _Only gonna push me away, that's it_ _  
_ _Have you got no shame, you looking insane_ _  
_ _Here we go again!_ _  
_ _  
_ _So don't go look at me with that look in your eye_ _  
_ _You really ain't going away without a fight_ _  
_ _You can't be reasoned with, I'm done being polite_ _  
_ _I've told you 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 thousand times_ _  
_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it obvious? (Haven't I made it?)_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it clear? (Haven't I made it clear?)_ _  
_ _Want me to spell it out for you?_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it obvious?_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it clear? (Haven't I?)_ _  
_ _Want me to spell it out for you? (To spell it out for you?)_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _That's how you fucking spell "friends"_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _Get that shit inside your head_ _  
_ _No, no, yeah, uh, ahh_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _We're just friends!_ _  
_ _  
_ _So don't go look at me with that look in your eye_ _  
_ _You really ain't going away without a fight_ _  
_ _You can't be reasoned with, I'm done being polite_ _  
_ _I've told you 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 thousand times_ _  
_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it obvious? (Have I not made it obvious?)_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it clear? (I made it very clear)_ _  
_ _Want me to spell it out for you? (yeah)_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S (I said F-R-I-EN-D-S)_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it obvious? (I made it very obvious)_ _  
_ _Haven't I made it clear? (I made it very clear)_ _  
_ _Want me to spell it out for you?_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _F-R-I-EN-D-S_ _  
_ _  
_ _Ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ohh ohh ah_ _  
_ _Ahh oh, ahh oh, ahh oh!"_

(Friends by Marshmello & Anne Marie)

They were so busy arguing, that they almost bumped into another tom who was coming the other way. His eyes immediately locked onto hers, piercing her like pieces of flint. She felt her blood freeze inside her veins. But try as she might, she could not read his face. What had she been hoping to find anyway?

So she moulded hers into one of indifference, turned her nose up and leaned into Rum Tum Tugger, feeling her skin crawl as he wrapped his arm possessively around her waist. "Good evening, Munkustrap," she said coldly.

"Good evening Jazzie," he replied, his voice flat. His expression hard.

He nodded stiffly towards his brother. "Tugger?" He greeted in an equally stiff tone of voice, like a vice that hadn't been oiled.  
  
"Berow?" Rum Tum Tugger responded.

Looking like the cat who'd gotten the cream, he couldn't have looked more smug if he'd tried harder. Munkustrap's eyes narrowed, staring daggers at him. There followed a few claw biting moments of excruciatingly tense silence, where one might have heard a pin drop. Then without another word, Munkustrap brushed passed them and melted into the shadows. "There you see!" Exclaimed Rum Tum Tugger. "What d'I tell ya? He don't care! You save his life and how does he repay you? If I was you, I'd have left him to rot...Jazz? Hey, I'm sorry…I didn't mean-!"

"Just. Leave me. ALONE!" Jazzie sobbed.

She shoved him away and ran back to her den, slamming the door shut and leaning heavily against it while listening out for any sounds of pursuit. She breathed a sigh of relief when she eventually heard Rum Tum Tugger's paw pads die away. Then she looked around the sparsely decorated room with tears running down her face. "What did you do zat for?" She scolded herself.

 _"Because you're not good enough to even entertain happiness,"_ a voice inside her head answered.

"Why didn't you just tell him ze truth?"  _  
__  
__"Because the lies hurt you more."_ _  
__  
__"But_ my heart! It feels like knives!" _  
_**_  
_**_"Walking on, walking on broken glass_  
_Walking on, walking on broken glass_  
_You were the sweetest thing that I ever knew_  
_But I don't care for sugar, honey, if I can't have you_  
_Since you've abandoned me_  
_My whole life has crashed_  
_Won't you pick the pieces up_  
_'Cause it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass_  
_Walking on, walking on broken glass_  
_The sun's still shining in big blue sky_  
_But it don't mean nothing to me_  
_Oh, let the rain come down_  
_Let the wind blow through me_  
_I'm living in an empty room_  
_With all the windows smashed_  
_And I've got so little left to lose_  
_That it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass_  
_And if you're trying to cut me down_  
_You know that I might bleed_  
_'Cause if you're trying to cut me down_  
_I know that you'll succeed_  
_And if you want to hurt me_  
_There's nothing left to fear_  
_'Cause if you want to hurt me_  
_You're doing really well, my dear!_  
_Now everyone of us was made to suffer_  
_Everyone of us was made to weep_  
_We've been hurting one another_  
_Now the pain has cut too deep_  
_So take me from the wreckage_  
_Save me from the blast_  
_Lift me up and take me back_  
_Don't let me keep on walking_  
_I can't keep on walking, keep on walking on broken glass!_  
_Walking on, walking on broken glass_  
_Walking on, walking on broken glass_  
_Walking on, walking on broken glass_  
_Walking on, walking on broken glass."_

(Walking on broken glass by Annie Lennox)

* * *

Munkustrap was determined to carry on with his nightly patrol as though nothing had happened, so that's exactly what he did. He was meandering through a secluded area of the junkyard when he rounded a corner and spotted something that he hadn't noticed before. Being a scrapyard, all sorts of items were being dumped in various places, at any one time, so with his curiosity well and truly piqued, he leapt up onto the rather dusty wooden table like structure in order to have a good sniff about. He quickly realised what it was. So he jumped down again and went to fetch a large empty oil can, which he shoved over to it before climbing up and taking a seat. Then he carefully lifted up the lid of the black grand piano and gazed in wonderment at the smooth black and white keys. But when he reached out to touch them, memories suddenly flashed unbidden into his mind…

_Music lessons he'd had as small kitten quickly morphed into a dark, smoky restaurant. The weight of the manacles cutting into his ankles prevented him from escaping, while the catnip cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth dulled his senses as he sang blues or whatever his captor demanded, playing the piano that he was chained to for hour after hour; risking a cane across the knuckles if he missed a note or so much as thought about stopping for a rest…_

He gasped and opened his eyes. Shaking his head to clear the awful memory, he tentatively pressed a few keys. It was in tune! All at once, his paws were skating over the keys almost of their own accord, glorious music flooding the air around him…

 _"Oooooh, my love_ _  
_ _My darling_ _  
_ _I've hungered for your touch_ _  
_ _A long, lonely time_ _  
_ _And time goes by so slowly_ _  
_ _And time can do so much_ _  
_ _Are you still mine?_ _  
_ _I need your love_ _  
_ _I need your love_ _  
_ _God speed your love to me_ _  
_ _Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea_ _  
_ _To the open arms of the sea_ _  
_ _Yes, lonely rivers sigh, "Wait for me, wait for me_ _  
_ _I'll be coming home, wait for me_ _  
_ _Ooooooh, my love_ _  
_ _My darling_ _  
_ _I've hungered, hungered for your touch_ _  
_ _A long, lonely time_ _  
_ _And time goes by so slowly_ _  
_ _And time can do so much_ _  
_ _Are you still mine?"_ _  
_ _I neeeeeeeed your love!_ _  
_ _I need your love_ _  
_ _God speed your love to me!"_

(Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers)

"Hey dude, what you doing?"

"Ah!"

Munkustrap slammed down the cover and almost fell off the oil can in surprise. "Tugger! What the…! You scared me!"

But Rum Tum Tugger had already pulled up a second oil can, opened up the lid and was busily jabbing at the piano keys. "Say! How long were you planning on keeping your new toy all to yourself, huh?" He asked. "This is great!"

Munkustrap scowled and slammed the lid back down on his brother's paws. At least, he would have...if Rum Tum Tugger hadn't whipped his paws out of the way just in time! "Hey! Are you crazy!?" he remonstrated loudly. "What the heck do you think you're playing at, Pal?"

They both jumped up onto the piano simultaneously with a loud ' _CLANG_!' and glared at one another. "I might ask the same of you!" Munkustrap said threateningly, nose to nose with his brother. "You and Jazzie were looking rather cosy back there. Where is she now?"

Rum Tum Tugger suddenly looked as guilty as sin. But only for about half a second. "What did you do to her this time?" Munkustrap asked suspiciously.

"What I did to her is none of your Goddamn business, dude!" Rum Tum Tugger gloated.

Munkustrap hissed, "Why, you backstabbing, tergiversating, rat faced-!

"Yeah, why don't you back off you fucking psychopathic ignoramus!" Rum Tum Tugger shouted. "Since when were you the boss of me!?"

"Are you going to give me a straight answer or am I going to have to beat it out of you?!" Munkustrap snarled.

They squared up. "You threatening me?" Rum Tum Tugger sneered. "Come on then! It's not  _my_  fault Jazzie went running off to me,  _is_  it? She made up her own mind and personally I think she chose wisely. I mean, look at you! Walking around with the Big Frown, thinking you  _own_  everybody. You're more like Mac than you realise!"

Munkustrap's ears went back. His brother had gone far enough. "I'll make you regret the day you crossed me, you shit eating weisenheimer!" He spat.

Someone lashed out and suddenly all Hell broke loose. Claws flashed. Fur flew. Then came the sound of yowling and splintering wood as Munkustrap twisted Rum Tum Tugger's arm up behind his back and smashed his head into the sound board before attempting to slam the lid down upon it! "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Rum Tum Tugger screamed. "What the fuck d'you think you're doing!?"

"Something I should have done a long time ago! Not so confident now,  _are_  we?" came a dark voice. It was tinged with a note of sadness. "I didn't want to have to do this believe you me, but you have left me with no other choice!" And with that, the lid started to creak-

"Wait!" Rum Tum Tugger begged. "Please don't kill me! I promise to respect you and shit!"

"Too little. Too late," came the reply.

The lid swung shut-

"I NEVER FUCKED HER!"

The lid paused, millimetres from crushing his skull.

"What?" Munkustrap whispered.

Rum Tum Tugger whimpered, "I never fucked her dude! Well apart from that one time where I was a complete asshole and took advantage of her. But that was just one time I swear to God! I mean, I thought about it, sure. I was envious as fuck, man! But when I was there with her she practically clawed my face off and then went running after you...Except you'd already gone. She cried for days, man. I mean like full on crying on the floor and everything! No one could get near her not even Tensey! She was never interested in me, but you know what I'm like! I push my luck. Guess I went and pushed it too far this time, huh?"

"But what about-?" Munkustrap started to ask.

"Tonight?" Rum Tum Tugger finished for him, looking guilty. "Yeeeaaah. Tried it on again, didn't I? Don't ask me why. I guess I'm just a cunt. And she knows that! Which was why she said no! I'm really sorry man! Can you let me up now?"

They both stared at each other, breathing heavily. Munkustrap's lip was bleeding and there were tears in his eyes. At first, he seemed undecided, but then eventually relented and let his brother go.

Rum Tum Tugger rubbed his aching shoulder and smirked. "We really are a pair aren't we?" He said dryly. "Losing possibly the best thing that ever happened to us, without even trying!"

"I guess that means we are both even then," Munkustrap said bitterly.

He sat down heavily in front of the piano and put his head in his paws while Rum Tum Tugger cautiously sat next to him and placed a sympathetic paw on his brother's trembling shoulders. "I'm sorry," he said and he really did mean it. "I get it now. How much she means to you. Maybe that's why I wanted her so bad. You know me. I only want what I can't have!"

Munkustrap sighed, sniffed and wiped away a few tears with the back of his paw. "Why is it?" he said quietly, almost to himself. "The troublesome ones. You know you shouldn't, but you always do. Make the same mistakes. Over and over. Never learn. Tear your own family apart just for a dream. That was all it was. Just bad idea from the start."

Rum Tum Tugger shook his head. "I'll never know dude. I'll never know. Mysteries all of them!"

"Queens!" they cursed together at the same time and the ghost of a smile crept into Munkustrap's face while Rum Tum Tugger opened up the piano and began to play.

"Say, I know what'll cheer you up. May I?" he asked.

Munkustrap shrugged. "Knock yourself out. No pun intended by the way. What are you going to play?"

Rum Tum Tugger grinned. "Only a favourite of  _yours_! Mind if I do the Dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wahs?"

"Ah! The legend himself! Good choice!" Munkustrap approved, instantly recognising the song. His smile broadened as he joined in with Rum Tum Tugger,

" _Dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah_ _  
__Ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah_ _  
__Oh-oh-oh-oh-wah_ _  
__Only the lonely_ _  
__Only the lonely."_ _  
__  
__"Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)_ _  
__Know the way I feel tonight (ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah)_ _  
__Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)_ _  
__Know this feeling ain't right (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)_ _  
__  
__There goes my baby_ _  
__There goes my heart_ _  
__They're gone forever_ _  
__So far apart_ _  
__  
__But only the lonely_ _  
__Know why_ _  
__I cry_ _  
__Only the lonely_ _  
__  
__Dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah_ _  
__Ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah_ _  
__Oh-oh-oh-oh-wah_ _  
__Only the lonely_ _  
__Only the lonely_ _  
__  
__Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)_ _  
__Know the heartaches I've been through (ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah)_ _  
__Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)_ _  
__Know I cry and cry for you (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)_ _  
__  
__Maybe tomorrow_ _  
__A new romance_ _  
__No more sorrow_ _  
__But that's the chance_ _  
__You gotta take_ (Ooh! That's a bit high!) _  
__If your lonely heart breaks_ _  
__Only the lonely."_ _  
__  
__"Dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah."_

(Only The Lonely by Roy Orbison)

When they'd finished singing, they exchanged the briefest of brief nuzzles. Rum Tum Tugger glanced at Munkustrap's split lip and grinned again. "Got you good didn't I?" He remarked.

Munkustrap glared at him. "Don't you  _ever_  know when to shut up?" He replied exasperatedly, before getting up and walking across the piano in order to jump down the other side.

"Well, glad that cleared the air!" Rum Tum Tugger shouted after him. "Oh and er, Munkus?"

Munkustrap rolled his eyes and answered through gritted teeth, "Yes?"

"It's good to have you back...Brov," he said, suddenly serious. A rare thing indeed. "You know you scared the living Hell out of us back there, right?"

Munkustrap shrugged. "Don't ever let me down again...Brother," he warned.

But before Rum Tum Tugger could answer, he had vanished into the shadows.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jazzie's sisters arrived back at the den that they shared, only to find Jazzie sitting alone in the dark. "I know what'll cheer you up sunshine!" suggested Lucitana. "You're coming out with us!"

"Yeah, come on Jazz!" pleaded Norstara. "It's the first night off we've all had for ages. Let's celebrate just us girls! No boys allowed!"

"Except Misto!" Hortenseya piped up.

"WHAT?" they all chimed.

The normally regal Korat smiled kittenishly. "Er...didn't I tell you? We're kind of...dating!"

"Wow!" exclaimed Jazzie. "Zat is wonderful! You two are so good togezzer!"

"A double celebration!" cheered Lucitana. "Horray!"

"And that's kind of not all!" cried Hortenseya, unable to contain her excitement.

They all stared at her. "I'm pregnant!" She announced.

At this news she was met with squeals of surprise and delight, along with exclamations of: "How!?" and "When!?"

* * *

A light drizzle dampened the pavement of Lisson Grove, but that wasn't going to dampen the spirits of the four queens and one small tom, as they walked arm in arm through the streets of London towards the Wellington Arms. As they entered, a wall of music enveloped them in it's enticing arms. And after a few shots of Moonshine (Hortenseya was on the milk!) they were all singing merrily and dancing the night away, with all worries temporarily forgotten. Well, almost forgotten...

 _"Once upon time_ _  
_ _A few mistakes ago_ _  
_ _I was in your sights_ _  
_ _You got me alone_ _  
_ _You found me_ _  
_ _You found me_ _  
_ _You found me_ _  
_ _  
_ _I guess you didn't care_ _  
_ _And I guess I liked that_ _  
_ _And when I fell hard_ _  
_ _You took a step back_ _  
_ _Without me, without me, without me_ _  
_ _  
_ _And you're long gone_ _  
_ _When you're next to me_ _  
_ _And I realize the blame is on me_ _  
_ _  
_ _'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in_ _  
_ _So shame on me now_ _  
_ _Flew me to places I'd never been_ _  
_ _So you put me down oh_ _  
_ _I knew you were trouble when you walked in_ _  
_ _So shame on me now_ _  
_ _Flew me to places I'd never been_ _  
_ _Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground_ _  
_ _Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_ _  
_ _Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_ _  
_ _  
_ _No apologies_ _  
_ _You'll never see me cry_ _  
_ _Pretend you don't know_ _  
_ _That you're the reason why_ _  
_ _I'm drowning, I'm drowning, I'm drowning_ _  
_ _  
_ _And I heard you moved on_ _  
_ _From whispers on the street_ _  
_ _A new notch in your belt_ _  
_ _Is all I'll ever be_ _  
_ _And now I see, now I see, now I see_ _  
_ _You were long gone_ _  
_ _When you met me_ _  
_ _And I realize the joke is on me_ _  
_ _  
_ _I knew you were trouble when you walked in_ _  
_ _So shame on me now_ _  
_ _Flew me to places I'd never been_ _  
_ _So you put me down oh_ _  
_ _I knew you were trouble when you walked in_ _  
_ _So shame on me now_ _  
_ _Flew me to places I'd never been_ _  
_ _Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground_ _  
_ _Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_ _  
_ _Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_ _  
_ _  
_ _When your saddest fear comes creeping in_ _  
_ _That you never loved me or them or anyone or anything_ _  
_ _Yeah_ _  
_ _  
_ _I knew you were trouble when you walked in_ _  
_ _So shame on me now_ _  
_ _Flew me to places I'd never been_ _  
_ _So you put me down oh_ _  
_ _I knew you were trouble when you walked in_ _  
_ _So shame on me now_ _  
_ _Flew me to places I'd never been_ _  
_ _Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground_ _  
_ _Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_ _  
_ _Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_ _  
_ _  
_ _I knew you were trouble when you walked in_ _  
_ _Trouble, trouble, trouble_ _  
_ _I knew you were trouble when you walked in_ _  
_ _Trouble, trouble, trouble!"_

(I Knew You Were Trouble by the Taylor Swift)

While she was having the time of her life on the dancefloor, something suddenly caught Jazzie's eye. Could it have been a silver face? Peering through the crowd, she tried to get a better look, but someone's head got in the way! So she started trying to fight her way through the jostling bodies. It was no use calling, for he'd never be able to hear her over the din. Eventually she struggled to the edge of the vinyl floor and looked around frantically. But he was nowhere to be seen. " _Perhaps I'm going mad?"_  She thought.


	17. Jazzie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm semi happy with this. May have to go back to it at a later date. I am so tired now! Oh the joys of being a perfectionist!  
> PS. This one might be a little suggestive.That's all I'll say!

_“Long afloat on shipless oceans_ _  
_ _I did all my best to smile_ _  
_ _'Til your singing eyes and fingers_ _  
_ _Drew me loving to your isle_ _  
_ _And you sang_ _  
_ _Sail to me_ _  
_ _Sail to me_ _  
_ _Let me enfold you_ _  
_ _Here I am_ _  
_ _Here I am_ _  
_ _Waiting to hold you_ _  
_ _Did I dream you dreamed about me?_ _  
_ _Were you here when I was forced out_ _  
_ _Now my foolish boat is leaning_ _  
_ _Broken lovelorn on your rocks_ _  
_ _For you sing, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow_ _  
_ _Oh my heart, Oh my heart shies from the sorrow"_ _  
_ _Well I'm as puzzled as the newborn child_ _  
_ _I'm as riddled as the tide_ _  
_ _Should I stand amid the breakers?_ _  
_ _Or should I lie with death, my bride?_ _  
_ _Hear me sing, "Swim to me, swim to me, let me enfold you_ _  
_ _Here I am, here I am, waiting to hold you..."_ _  
_ (Song To The Siren by This Mortal Coil)

He was running along the street as though in a daze, frantically searching for something but couldn’t quite remember what. He only knew he had to find whatever it was as a matter of urgency. As he scanned the area he suddenly spotted what looked like a brown smudge in the distance. With a sudden sick feeling of dread, he headed towards it, the feeling of dread steadily growing the closer he got, until he found himself gazing down upon a traditional brown leather medical bag, lying open with its contents spilling out across the pavement. His feeling of trepidation rose even further, for he knew that the bag was the most treasured possession of its owner. And yet it was as though they had simply discarded it! How could they have been so careless?  
  
All of a sudden, he found himself standing on some sort of narrowboat, looking over the edge of its bow and struggling not to slide into the dark depths below him. But it was as though an invisible force was dragging his body towards it, for it was proving to be a real struggle not to fall in. Then his breath caught in his throat! He had spotted something floating in water, just beneath the surface! Something white and brown. He blinked. And realised he was looking into a pair of petrified, blue eyes. Eyes that belonged to a queen, her face twisted with terror, mouth hanging open in a permanent, silent scream. Through a distant fug of horror, he called out her name and stretched out his paw to try to reach her...but he accidentally slipped and fell! The water seemed to pull him downwards into its cold dark abyss, as he desperately thrashed his limps to try to stay afloat, barely able to keep his head above the surface. He started to panic. She was nowhere to be seen! He couldn't breathe! Then something grabbed hold of his ankle. He looked down. And tried to scream! But no sound came out. Skeletal faces with eyeless sockets grinned back at him, their wide gapes bearing rows of needle like teeth and their terrible shrieks filled his ears as he was dragged under. The next thing he knew he was being violently shaken…

“Munkustrap! MUNKUSTRAP!!!”  
  
“Wha...wha…?”  
  
His eyes snapped open and he found himself staring up into a pair of extremely worried gold citrine ones belonging to a fox coloured Somali Queen. “You were shouting again!” Bombalurina complained. “It sounded like you were being murdered!”  
  
Munkustrap lay still, feeling his heart rate return to normal as the dream began to fade. “My God!” he said apologetically. “That was so...real!”  
  
“You’ve been getting them a lot lately,” she observed. “Ever since…”  
  
She sighed and lay her head against his chest, gently stroking his arm. “Sounded like quite a nightmare,” she murmured. “Want to tell me about it?”  
  
He chuckled softly and held her tightly in his arms. “It was just a dream, my sweet," he assured her. "Nothing more.”  
  
He kissed her on the top of her head and sighed, “Look at me! Scared by a dream? Ha! Must be going soft!”  
  
“You were shouting her name,” she murmured again.  
  
He frowned. “Whose name?”  
  
"Never mind," she said dismissively and rolled on top of him. "How about I...take your mind off it?" She lasciviously suggested whilst innocently tracing circles into his sternum with her finger.

She met his eyes and knew that the answer wasn't a "No."  
_  
_ _"(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _  
_ _I'll take you up to the highest heights_ _  
_ _Let's spread our wings and fly away_ _  
_ _Surround you with love that's pure delight_ _  
_ _Release your spirit, set you free_ _  
_ _  
_ _Come and feel my energy_ _  
_ _Let's be as one in soul and mind_ _  
_ _I'll fill your world with ecstasy_ _  
_ _Touch all your dreams deep down inside_ _  
_ _  
_ _Let me be your fantasy_ _  
_ _Let me be your fantasy, yeah_ _  
_ _Let me be your fantasy_ _  
_ _Let me be your fantasy_ _  
_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me touch your dreams)_ _  
_ _(Just spread your wings, fly away)_ _  
_ _  
_ _Come take a trip to my wonderland_ _  
_ _Let's spread our wings and fly away_ _  
_ _Lotions of love flow through your hands_ _  
_ _See visions, colours every day_ _  
_ _  
_ _Let me feel your warm embrace_ _  
_ _Release the colours in your mind_ _  
_ _I'll put a smile upon your face_ _  
_ _I've got what it takes to make you mine_ _  
_ _  
_ _Let me be your fantasy_ _  
_ _Let me be your fantasy, yeah_ _  
_ _Let me be your fantasy_ _  
_ _I'll take you higher, yeah_ _  
_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Underground is where we wanna go)_ _  
_ _(Movin' off the crowd)_ _  
_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _  
_ _Let me be your fantasy (Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy) Let me be, let me be_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy) Let me be your fantasy_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy) Let me be, let me be your fantasy_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy) I'll take you higher_ _  
_ _  
_ _(Let me be your fantasy)"_ _  
_ _  
_ (Let Me Be Your Fantasy by Baby D)  
  
"I hardly need an excuse!" He chuckled and enfolded her into his arms as her lips burnt into his, craving more and taking it all like the thief that she knew she was, leaving them both breathless.  
  
"And now I can't think about anything else," he purred. "Wow. You're good!"  
  
She gasped and her eyes widened. "Oh? Hello! And I hadn't even started yet!"  
  
"It's not like you need to do a lot!" He replied, grinning mischievously.  
  
"OH!"  
  
Her eyes narrowed and she leaned forwards. "Going to be like _that_ is it, Mister?" She said quietly. "Very well then, seeing as you asked for it. I shall have you crying like a kitten by the time I’m finished with you!"  
  
"We'll see who cries first, shall we?" He countered with a self satisfied look on his face.  
  
She smiled dangerously. "You know I just love a challenge!"  
  
"Well, you just chose the wrongtom to pick a fight with, _didn't_ you!"  
  
There ensued a large amount of giggling after that.

* * *

  
It was the morning after the final day of their week together, so Munkustrap and Bombalurina decided to celebrate by having breakfast at Exotica’s cafe, before they both had to head off to work. They were busy tucking into smoked salmon scrambled egg muffins and oeufs en cocotte with smoked eel soldiers, whilst discussing how eventful the other’s day wasn’t going to be, when Mistoffelees suddenly appeared in the seat next to Munkustrap. “Good morning young Sir!” greeted Bombalurina. “How was your date?”  
  
Mistoffelees looked down at the table and smiled. “It went very well thank you Bombi,” he replied. “Actually, I have wonderful news!”  
  
“You've worked out the secret to eternal youth?” Bombalurina asked hopefully.  
  
“Close!” He replied. “But not quite! Hortenseya and I are expecting our first kittens!”  
  
“Oh wow!” Bombalurina exclaimed in surprise. “That's wonderful news! Good on you both!”  
  
“Can you believe it Bomb?” Munkustrap groaned. “I’m going to be Grandparent! How the Hell did that happen!?”

"You started young dear," Bombalurina remarked and then said to Mistoffelees, “I think what he means is, congratulations! And the same sentiments from me. When are they due?”

“Thank you,” he said. “I think they might be due in a few months time, but Tensy’s the one who does all the counting!”  
  
“So, what else brings you here?” Asked Bombalurina, giving him a knowing wink.  
  
Mistoffelees returned the wink and turned to his father. “It’s about Jazzie,” he said, delicately.  
  
Bombalurina leaned her chin on her paw as she listened in with keen interest. Munkustrap paused, but didn’t meet his son’s gaze. “Oh?” he questioned, pretending not to look bothered and turning his attention back to his breakfast. “How is she?”  
  
“Sad,” Mistoffelees informed him in all seriousness.  
  
“Why are you telling me this?” Munkustrap muttered, pretending to be distracted by a particularly tasty piece of eel toast.  
  
“Because she needs you, can’t you see that-?” Mistoffelees argued.  
  
“Well no, because I've hardly seen her," Munkustrap replied bluntly, dipping his toast in the egg before taking a bite out of it.  
  
"Well I'm telling you-!" Mistoffelees began.  
  
"She needs me like she needs a hole in the head!" Munkustrap cut in. "I’m the one who made her sad, remember? She will be happy without me in time...”  
  
“And what about you?” Mistoffelees asked.  
  
“What about me?” Munkustrap snapped.  
  
“I know you have feelings for her-” Mistoffelees pressed.  
  
“So what if I have?!” said Munkustrap angrily. “What good are feelings? I am not what she needs!”  
  
“I beg to differ!” said Mistoffelees, stubbornly crossing his arms.  
  
Munkustrap sighed. “Misto, I appreciate your concern, but please, can you drop this now?”  
  
“Will you quit holding onto your pride and go talk to the queen that you love?” Mistoffelees said forcefully.  
  
“She doesn’t love me!” Munkustrap insisted, shaking his head. “But if she changes her mind, she knows where to find me.”  
  
Mistoffelees gaped at his father, in disbelief. “Doesn't love you? Doesn't LOVE YOU?!” He spluttered.

“Father, your lack of perception amazes me sometimes!” He berated. “Since you left she was been aimlessly wandering the corridors of the infirmary, crying like a cumulonimbus. Everyone knows how hard-bitten you can be, but I never had you down as cruel!”

He knew he had at last gotten through, because as he said these last words, a look of pure guilt flashed across Munkustrap’s face. It had clearly knocked him sideways, because he suddenly sat back, his hunger forgotten. “Then what am I to do?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

In response, a guitar suddenly materialised in Mistoffelees’s paws and he began to play it. “Look," he said as he played. "This is what she told me the other night, albeit after a few drinks!” _  
_ _  
_ _“She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_ _  
_ _She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_ _  
_ _She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_ _  
_ _  
_ _You think you've lost your love_ _  
_ _Well, I saw her yesterday-yi-yay_ _  
_ _It's you she's thinking of_ _  
_ _And she told me what to say-yi-yay_ _  
_ _She says she loves you_ _  
_ _And you know that can't be bad_ _  
_ _Yes, she loves you_ _  
_ _And you know you should be glad_ _  
_ _  
_ _She said you hurt her so_ _  
_ _She almost lost her mind_ _  
_ _And now she says she knows_ _  
_ _You're not the hurting kind_ _  
_ _She says she loves you_ _  
_ _And you know that can't be bad_ _  
_ _Yes, she loves you_ _  
_ _And you know you should be glad_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oo, she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_ _  
_ _She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_ _  
_ _With a love like that_ _  
_ _You know you should be glad_ _  
_ _  
_ _You know it's up to you_ _  
_ _I think it's only fair_ _  
_ _Pride can hurt you too_ _  
_ _Apologize to her_ _  
_ _Because she loves you_ _  
_ _And you know that can't be bad_ _  
_ _Yes, she loves you_ _  
_ _And you know you should be glad_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oo, she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_ _  
_ _She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah_ _  
_ _With a love like that_ _  
_ _You know you should be glad_ _  
_ _With a love like that_ _  
_ _You know you should be glad_ _  
_ _With a love like that_ _  
_ _You know you should be glad_ _  
_ _Yeah, yeah, yeah,_ _  
_ _Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!”_ _  
_ (She Loves You by the Beatles)  
  
“Alright! I’ll talk to her!” Munkustrap fumed, jerking to his feet.  
  
He looked to Bombalurina for help, but she only smiled at him. “Darling, you know what I’m going to say,” she said matter-of-factly. “Deep down, you know what the right thing to do is. So quit being stubborn and go do it.”  
  
Then he glanced back at Mistoffelees, who shrugged.  
  
"GO!" Bellowed Bombalurina. And so without another word, he took off in the direction of the Infirmary.

* * *

  
He ran into the waiting room and looked around, but couldn’t see the Snowshoe anywhere. Instead, it was Norstara who came out to greet him, looking a tad worse for wear. “Yes?” she asked tersely. “How may I help you?”  
  
“Noss, is Jazzie here?” he asked urgently. “I must speak with her!”  
  
Norstara looked away. “I’m afraid you are too late,” she replied.  
  
“What!? What do you mean?” he demanded, his stress levels rising like mercury in a glass thermometer which was being suspended in a candle flame, and when she refused to answer he grabbed her shoulders and looked deep into her chrysoberyl eyes.

“Please!” he begged and then spoke in staccato, with each word sharply detached from the previous. “Just. Tell me. Where. She is!”  
  
Norstara looked a little alarmed. “She-she left! Not long ago...” she said shakily. “I’m sorry! We couldn’t stop her-”  
  
Munkustrap was already on his way out of the door. “Wait!” cried Norstara, running after him. “I’m coming with you!”  
  
“Which way did she go?” he asked her.  
  
“Towards the University College London I suspect,” she replied.  
  
“You suspect...?”

They cleared the Scrap yard wall and sprinted through the streets of London, with it quickly becoming clear to Munkustrap that he was having trouble keeping up the nimble Egyptian Mau. Now don't get me wrong, he wasn't exactly slow or anything! In fact he was one of the fastest cats in the tribe below Alonzo and Rum Tum Tugger. But _she_ was on another level of speed altogether! And he strongly suspected that she wasn't even running at full pelt, but was holding back for _his_ sake. It didn't do much for his male ego that was for sure. But he was quick to dismiss his own feelings of inadequacy and so then was free to simply appreciate her for what she was: a marvel of nature with an almost supercat ability.

Presently Munkustrap skidded to a halt just behind her. “Blimey! You're fast!” He panted.

She turned back and simply smiled knowingly. “Which way do we go now?” she wondered.

He was about to answer when suddenly he pricked up his ears. “What is it-?” she started to ask, but then she heard it too, a sound that made their blood run cold.

"Whoof! Whoof! Whoof! Grrrrrr! Whoof!"  
  
Then came a blood curdling scream. They looked at each other in horror and ran in the direction of the sounds, dreading what they might find. They came across something lying in the middle of the pavement. As Munkustrap went to investigate, he recognised it as Jazzie’s hospital bag, lying open with it's contents strewn everywhere. His blood froze. Surely this had to be a coincidence? Then came that terrified wail again, closer this time. “Jazzie?” he gasped.  
  
“I’ve got this!” shouted Norstara, stuffing the objects back in the bag. “You go! I’ll catch up!”  
  
Of course she would! He didn’t need to be told twice. He sprinted through an alleyway and emerged onto a towpath. “Jazzie!” he shouted. “JAZZIE! Where in God’s name are you?”  
  
That was when he spotted the dog. An excited Bull Mastiff was jumping backwards and forwards on the bow of a narrowboat, barking animatedly at something in the water! Keeping himself low to the ground so that the dog wouldn’t see him, Munkustrap jumped onto a neighbouring narrowboat, crept along the deck using the gunnel as cover and then peered over the edge of the smooth, wooden bow. He could just make out a grey smudge suspended in the blackness just below him and it was steadily vanishing into the depths. “Jazzie!” he roared.  
  
Ignoring the impending sense of deja vous, he hurriedly scrambled up onto the ledge and dived headfirst into the water, which was so cold that it almost took his breath away! He squinted through the murk but could hardly see a thing and momentarily started to dispair. Then suddenly he spotted a brown and white blur. _"It has to be her!"_ He thought, kicking frantically and using his arms to pull himself downwards.

As he swam, he passed a cacophony of discarded objects, including a rusty shopping trolley and then what he at first took to be fish. But as he swept one out of the way he realised that they were, in actual fact, bits of plastic. And then he felt his fingers brush against something soft. He grabbed blindly, catching hold of a pawful of fur and pulling her towards him, holding her firmly around the waist, and just in the knick of time. Because his head was starting to throb, reminding him of his need for air! With his lungs fit to burst, he pushed off the silty bottom as hard as he could post-haste, finally breaking the surface with a gasp as the air rushed back into his aching lungs. Still holding her limp body under one arm, he swam back towards the boat hull with the other to where Norstara was waiting. “Noss! Grab her!” He shouted and he thrust the Snowshoe into Norstara’s arms, giving her a firm shove in order to aid the Silver Mau so that she could pull the inert form to safety.  
  
Next, he hoisted himself out of the oily waters of the heavily polluted canal and, without stopping to shake the water from his fur, raced to where Jazzie lay upon the deck, unmoving. Horror gripped his heart. "No...!" He choked.  
  
All he could do was look on helplessly as Norstara methodically performed mouth to mouth on her friend, but when Jazzie didn’t respond he became distraught. “Come on Jazz!" He pleaded. "Don’t do this…!”  
  
Tears sprang into his eyes, unable to believe what was happening. In an act of pure desperation he grabbed her paw and pressed it against his heart. “Jazzie!” he cried, barely holding it together. “I love you! Now breathe! Goddamnit! Please! Just breathe!”  
  
Also getting desperate, Norstara began to compress her chest. "Come on, Jazz!" She muttered.  
  
After an agonising few minutes (which seemed more like hours to the pair) Jazzie suddenly heaved and coughed violently until water spewed out of her mouth. “Thank Heaviside!” exclaimed Munkustrap, quickly dashing the tears from his eyes.  
  
“We must get her to safety-” said Norstara, her own voice wobbling slightly, but she was suddenly interrupted by an ominous growl.

"Oh Great Bast!" They both thought simultaneously.   
  
The dog!!! It was blocking their escape! And it clearly didn't think much of cats! It growled again and began to bark at them, showing its fangs. In response, both cats raised their hackles, puffing out their fur until they had more than doubled in size! They bared their own teeth and turned sideways on to the dog, forming a protective barrier around Jazzie.   
  
Unfortunately this only seemed to provoke beige coloured Mastiff. It barked again and suddenly lurched forwards. However it wasn't expecting the cats to retaliate. Which they did. With surprising ferocity! There were shrieks and howls as claws and teeth connected with skin and fur. And every time the dog tried to get its jaws into the cat lying on the deck, it was beaten back by a yowling face full of talons.   
  
After tussling for a ten minutes, the brawl finally broke apart, with the exhausted animals calling a temporary truce. Norstara lay on the deck, winded, while Munkustrap had been thrown against the gunnel, but was otherwise unhurt. He staggered painfully to his feet, faced the dog and growled, standing protectively in front of his companions. The dog backed away, but didn't turn tail. It was cut and bleeding, but wanted a taste of revenge. It wasn't going to stop until those cats were dead. Starting with the spotty one! Snapping its slobbering jaws, it suddenly ran at her. She screamed...!   
  
“Oi! Dog breath! Chew on this!” Munkustrap roared. He was straight in there, aiming a flying kick at the crazed animal's head.   
  
The dog yelped and immediately leapt back. That hurt! There was now blood as well as drool dripping from its droopy muzzle, where four claw shaped cuts had been scored. "And there's plenty more where that came from!" Munkustrap hissed, crouching down and getting ready to spring again.   
  
Less sure all of a sudden, the dog took a tentative leap forwards, trying, once again, to get to Norstara. But Munkustrap was there in a flash. Hissing like a cobra, he jumped up and swiped at the dog, driving it back. It carried on like this for over fifteen minutes, with Munkustrap fearlessly standing up to the creature that was much larger and stronger than himself, and would probably kill him with a single bite if it had half a mind to. But dogs are not stupid. They know when they have met their match. Faced with such an unexpected and surprisingly fierce counter attack, from what could only be described as a growling, hissing, walking bramble, the Mastiff began to tire of its game. Not fancying another faceful of claws, it turned tail and trotted off with its tail between its legs, hoping to find easier prey to harass.

Munkustrap took the opportunity to scoop Jazzie into his arms. “Quick! Before it changes it's mind!” he said urgently to Norstara, and they quickly made their escape.

* * *

  
They didn’t stop for breath until they had made it safely back to Munkustrap’s den, not even pausing to greet Rum Tum Tugger, who happened to be on his unhurried way to who knew where. "Hey dude!" He called out. "How come you're all wet?"  
  
"Decided to take a bath in the canal!" Munkustrap hollared back.  
  
Rum Tum Tugger shrugged. _"Ah well! Each to their own!_ " He thought.  
  
Panting heavily, but without pausing to rest, Munkustrap placed Jazzie onto the floor next to the stove while Norstara cradled her head in her lap. Then he whizzed around like a silver whirlwind, grabbing a load of blankets to place around her, before lighting the stove and setting water on to boil. While he waited, he knelt next to Norstara and stroked Jazzie’s head. “Will she be alright?” he asked worriedly.

Norstara nodded. "She is cold," she stated. "So we must warm her up. If we can get something warm inside her, I will feel better."

"Will tea suffice?" he asked.

"For now," she said briskly. "But do you have anything more substantial? Her body needs calories. As does mine."

"Hmmmm…" Munkustrap went over to a small larder and had a little rummage, before pulling out several cans of Heinz Oxtail soup. "Will these do?" he offered. "They're a little out of date."

Norstara shrugged. “I’d eat horse soup if you offered it to me,” she replied.  
  
Munkustrap set about opening the cans, using a combination of his teeth to pierce the tops and his claws to pry them open. He then decanted the contents into a small pan and set it onto the stove to heat through, stirring it with a wooden spoon. While he waited for this, he also made tea; removing the special tea bags from a tin with the words:

_'Jellicle Tea: pure Catnip Tea bags. Naturally caffeine free'_

spelled out on the front complete with a curious likeness of Magical Mister Mistoffelees dancing across them (because the normal tea that you and I enjoy of a morning or afternoon is, like chocolate, toxic to our feline friends!) He placed one into each mug and then poured on the just boiled water, leaving them to steep for a few minutes before removing them and stirring a splash of milk into the pools of burnt amber liquid, turning them a honey beige colour. Then they sat around the hot stove, drying off and gratefully sipping mug fulls of hot soup and tea. Jazzie was barely able to gulp down a few mouthfuls before falling back weakly again in a state of semi consciousness. “I have to get back to my patients!” announced Norstara when she’d finished her’s. “Are you alright to look after her?”  
  
Munkustrap nodded. “She will be safe with me. And Noss…!” he called as she walked to the door. “Thank you. Had you not been there…”  
  
Norstara smiled. “Just look after her, you hear! And if you ever make her cry again, I will personally come after you!” Then she was off like silver sandstorm!  
  
Munkustrap picked Jazzie up and gently placed her onto the bed. He then fetched his guitar, sat down beside her and absentmindedly twiddled the strings. At the sound of the purring music, Jazzie’s eyes flickered, but didn't open.  
_  
_ _“I was dreaming of the past_ _  
_ _and my heart was beating fast_ _  
_ _I began to lose control_ _  
_ _I began to lose control_ _  
_ _I didn't mean to hurt you_ _  
_ _I'm sorry that I made you cry_ _  
_ _Oh my I didn't want to hurt you_ _  
_ _I'm just a jealous guy_ _  
_ _  
_ _I was feeling insecure_ _  
_ _You might not love me anymore_ _  
_ _I was shivering inside_ _  
_ _I was shivering inside_ _  
_ _Oh I didn't mean to hurt you_ _  
_ _I'm sorry that I made you cry_ _  
_ _Oh my I didn't want to hurt you_ _  
_ _I'm just a jealous guy_ _  
_ _  
_ _I didn't mean to hurt you_ _  
_ _I'm sorry that I made you cry_ _  
_ _Oh my I didn't want to hurt you_ _  
_ _I'm just a jealous guy_ _  
_ _  
_ _I was trying to catch your eyes_ _  
_ _I thought that you were trying to hide_ _  
_ _I was swallowing my pain_ _  
_ _I was swallowing my pain_ _  
_ _I didn't mean to hurt you_ _  
_ _I'm sorry that I made you cry_ _  
_ _Oh my I didn't want to hurt you_ _  
_ _I'm just a jealous guy_ _  
_ _watch out baby I'm just a jealous guy_ _  
_ _Look out baby I'm just a jealous guy.”_ _  
_ _  
_ (Jealous Guy by John Lennon) _  
_ _  
_ He put the guitar aside and lay down beside her, using his own body heat to warm her up. As his paw came to rest against the soft, creamy fur on her belly he felt another paw grab and secure it there, but instead of pulling away he held her even more tightly. “I'm not letting you go this time,” he reassured her. “I will never let you go...my love…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think, if it wasn't for good old Rum Tum Tugger, my stories would be way too serious!


	18. An Eventful Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that sinking feeling you get, when you realise something is not quite right? If I thought the last chapter was bad, I basically did the equivilent of screwing this one up and throwing it in the bin! Oh the joys of writing!

Jazzie awoke to find moonlight shining into her eyes. She blinked and sat up, to find that she was also alone in Munkustrap's den. "Munkustrap?" she called.

There was no answer. On the table, however, was a freshly made mug of tea. Smiling, she stood up and walked over to it, taking a grateful sip. It was hot. He could not have gone far. As she pondered this, the door suddenly opened and in walked the Silver tom himself. He did a mock double take when he saw her standing there. "Aha!" He exclaimed. "The beast awakens!"

"How long was I out for?" she asked calmly, taking another sip of tea.

"A day...roughly," he hesitantly informed her and then went on to explain, "I would have stayed, but, you know, duty and all that. You were starting to stir when I left though, so I figured you'd be thirsty." He waved nonchalantly towards mug in her paw. Their eyes met.

Jazzie suddenly felt the blood drain from her fingertips, and wondered vaguely if he felt the same. If he did, he didn't show it. "Well," he said quietly. "Here we are again."

"Oui," She laughed nervously.

"How are you?" he asked her seriously.

She shrugged. "I'm ok...I suppose…" she began. "But-"

"I-oh sorry! You carry on!" He said apologetically. He hadn't meant to interrupt her!

"No, it's ok!" She insisted. "Say what you were going to say."

"Ladies first!" He said stubbornly.

"I have forgotten," she stated.

"Oh," he said, looking awkward. "Sorry."

"Don't be. It is not important," she replied dismissively.

"What isn't?" he asked, hoping to catch her out.

"Indeed." Her tone indicated that this conversation was over.

There was a long pause. "So…" She began again.

"So?" he repeated.

"How are you, Munkustrap?" she enquired finally.

"Existing," He blurted out. Darn! He hadn't meant for it to come out like that!

He took a step towards her and reached out, but she took a sharp step back, looking greatly alarmed. He looked at her, confused by her reaction. "Jazz…?" He said worriedly. "Please, don't look at me like that!"

"Like what?" She asked, defiantly.

His tail swished and there was an edge to his voice as he replied in a low whisper, "Like you are afraid of me!"

She might as well have taken a knife and stabbed him through the heart.  _"Hell, you deserve it!"_ He thought.  _"To think she'd forgive you just like that?"_

He took another step towards her, but she flinched. He had to fight to stop himself from doing the same. "Please!" He begged, "Don't do this-!"

"Do what!?" She snapped.

She stared at him, a cold fear in her eyes mixed with that same loathing he had seen the first time that she and he had met. Why was she acting like this? How could she be so cruel? This wasn't the queen he knew.  
  
_"The drops of rain they fall all over_ _  
_ _This awkward silence makes me crazy_ _  
_ _The glow inside burns light upon her_ _  
_ _I'll try to kiss you if you let me_ _  
_ _(this can't be the end)_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tidal waves they rip right through me_ _  
_ _Tears from eyes worn cold and sad_ _  
_ _Pick me up now, I need you so bad_ _  
_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _  
_ _Your vows of silence fall all over_ _  
_ _The look in your eyes makes me crazy_ _  
_ _I feel the darkness break upon her_ _  
_ _I'll take you over if you let me_ _  
_ _(You did this)_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tidal waves they rip right through me_ _  
_ _Tears from eyes worn cold and sad_ _  
_ _Pick me up now, I need you so bad._ _  
_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so_ _  
_ _Down down down down_ _  
_ _It gets me so..."_  
  
(Down by Blink-182)  
  
Munkustrap swallowed and took a deep breath. “You and me..." He said shakily. "I know that we didn't exactly...um…”  
  
“Get off to the best of starts?" She finished. She laughed a mirthless laugh, "Oui. You can say zat again!"  
  
He was shattered by her change of tone and the coldness in her voice, as cold as the Atlantic. Where was the warmth? Where was his ray of sunshine? "So what do you want?" He asked her. "Me to beg for forgiveness? Or have me on my knees, perhaps?"  
  
"I would have all toms on zeir knees for what zey did to me!" She said icily. "I was stupid to fall for you! Stupid to let myself get hurt. You are just like every ozzer tom-!"  
  
"Yeah, that's right! I'm just like _every_ other tom who lusts after you!" He said with a tinge of sarcasm creeping into his voice. "And I suppose, like _every_ other tom, I _wasn't_ perfectly willing to put my life on the line for you!”

He could see that the sardonic tone was getting him nowhere, so he dropped it and tried to reason with her instead, “Look, I understand that you are hurting and you have every right to be angry but-!" 

But unfortunately, the touch paper had already been lit. "Oh I'm passed angry!" She said acidly. "I've had enough!"  
  
"Then look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me!" He said suddenly.  
  
She looked him the eye, but instead of answering him she pressed her lips together and said nothing. Which Munkustrap found mildly infuriating.  
  
"Let's get this over with shall we?" He hissed. "Just fucking say it!"  
  
She stared at him. "I don't love you," she whispered.  
  
"Say it louder. Say it like you mean it!" His voice wavered.  
  
"I mean it!" She shouted.  
  
"Then why are you crying?" He asked condescendingly.  
  
She reached up to touch her face and her brow furrowed in consternation when she felt that her cheeks were wet. She also realised that she was trembling. "Don't fucking lie to me, Jazz!" He growled. "If you're trying to hurt me then feel free to congratulate yourself. Because you're doing really fucking well! Twist the knife a bit more, why don't you?"  
  
The pain made him angry and he longed to take out his frustrations on the nearest soft target. As it was he was struggling not to bare his teeth at her, but couldn't prevent his claws from digging into his palms. A sudden hot sting and a sticky dampness told him that he'd drawn blood. She looked away and went back to saying nothing, which stoked the fire even more! He laughed bitterly, “Can't even look me in the eye, huh? How ironic. I have two bastards who have the nerve to call themselves my brother. One: a criminal maniac and the other? A cowardly betrayer! And yet the queen that I love cannot seem to make up her mind about any of us!”  
  
All of a sudden the air that Jazzie had been semi holding was angrily expelled through her nostrils and her ears went back. "Fuck you!" She hissed and slammed down the half full mug, causing a mini tea volcano to erupt all over the table, before storming out.  
  
Munkustrap uttered a few choice words and dived after her. He chased her as she slid down the junk pile and leapt across the bonnet of the old Ford, before managing to catch her wrist just as she made it to the tyre. Hissing angrily, she turned and slapped him hard across the face, but he hardly felt the sting of her paw. It was the hate in her eyes that caused the most damage. “You sink I am a cheap whore!?” she raged.  
  
“No-!” There was a desperate catch in his voice.  
  
“Is that all you ever sought-?!” She cried.  
  
“Of course not!” he said sincerely.  
  
“Just because I have been raped more times zan I care to remember?” she blurted angrily. “Because toms sink zey have ze right to treat my body like zere plaything? To hurt me and laugh when I scream! And when my kitten was born, I wasn't even allowed to feed him!”  
  
It was like a bomb a been dropped. The air was thick and they both reeled from what she had said. “Your kitten-!?” Munkustrap gasped.  
  
“Yes!" She sobbed, whipping her blood stained paw out of his. "Macavity raped me. Many times. In fact, he raped ALL of us. Some of us got pregnant. Norstara did too, but she lost hers and now wants nossing more to do wiz ANY tom EVER AGAIN! So don't sink zat you are ze only one who has lost-!”  
  
“Why didn't you tell me?” he asked, and his eyes were filled with pity.  
  
“I probably would have if you had given me ze opportunity!” she snapped.  
  
“Oh, I'm sorry for almost DYING!" He shot back. "Maybe next time I shall leave you all you get slaughtered! And I suppose it was _my_  fault that you decided to go and cosy up with Tugger as well? Far from thinking that you were just another whore, there was me thinking that you actually had standards! Clearly, I misjudged you-!”  
  
“I didn’t have sex with him-!” She tried to argue.  
  
“Ah! But you were going to-!” He accused her.  
  
“But I didn't-!” She started to reiterate, but he cut her off.  
  
“It still hurt!" He roared. "It still hurts! Seeing you! With _Him…_!" He faltered.  
  
In a voice wracked with emotion he plowed on, "And do you know the thing that really stung? Was the fact that your only motivation was to get back at me. And for what?" His eyes glistened and threatened to spill over so he quickly looked away.  
  
“I don't know…!” She confessed quietly, looking deeply ashamed.

He looked back at her and then said, "I know I may sometimes seem as heartless and unfeeling as a lump of granite. But believe it or not, this rock does have feelings you know!" He pointed to himself as he said this, directing his digit towards his heart.

“Zey say you were bad cat!” she shot back suddenly, looking at him with deep suspicion in her eyes.

“ _‘They’_ say a lot of things about me,” he replied succinctly.

“Well were you?” She demanded.

He looked down at her feet, and was quiet for a moment. When he eventually answered, it was in a steady voice, speaking slowly and carefully, “Like I said before. I'm no angel. I'm not a saint. But then, who is?”

He looked up at her and continued in the same tone of voice, “Like a lot of people, I have a past. I've done things that I now deeply regret, but I feel I can only use those negative experiences to do good. I was what I was. I can't change that. Just as I am what I am now. Nothing hidden. What you see is what you get. Just a tom trying to do his duty as best he can. But Just that. A tom. One that loves you deeply.”

"Well, what about you and _Her_ then?" she wanted to know.  
  
“That wasn't done out of malice," he said, shaking his head. "SHE is my mate. Demeter, Tantomile, Jennyanydots, Jellylorum. ALL my mates. There...maybe others, but...so what...?" He shrugged.

“Oh! So  _ you're  _ ze mystery tom!” she blurted out.

“What?” He asked, clearly having no idea what she was going on about. What mystery?

“You...Tantomile!” she stuttered.

He rolled his eyes. Now she was making sense. “Yes,” he admitted with a sigh. “I suppose I am the ‘mystery tom’ if you want to call it that.” Then he gave her a brief explanation, “Tanti and me...we had a kind of...arrangement. She and her brother basically came to me and asked for my...help. So naturally, I eventually agreed. But we had to keep it shtom because of Demeter. I mean, you've seen what she's like-”  
  
"And you truly love zem all, do you? All of your mates?" Jazzie asked skeptically.  
  
"Every single one," he replied with sincerity. "Yes, it seems a little decadent to those ignorant few, but it's not when you consider that my own father, like his father before him and so on and so forth, had nine official mates!"  
  
He muttered out of the side of his mouth, "Plus ninety nine unofficial ones!"  
  
"So yes," he continued. "Not only is my family considerably extended, but I've actually got a fair bit of catching up to do myself. It’s like I said before: I am a tom. I need love. And yes, I needed Bombalurina, just as I need you now! But being a queen, it is up to you to make the definitive choice, regardless of whose ego maybe bruised in the process.”  
  
She bowed her head. “I'm sorry…” she said quietly.  
  
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he replied. “It is I who should be sorry. I don't know why I said those awful things. I should know better than to let my jealousy get the better of me!”  
  
"No,” she stated. “What I meant was...I don't sink I can be your mate."  
  
There was short a pause. "Why not?" He asked quietly, but she turned her back on him and refused to speak.  
  
"Surely we can fix this?" He said desperately, but she shook her head, keeping her back towards him so that he couldn't see her crying.  
  
He went to grab her shoulders in order to turn her back around to face him, but she flinched again, as did he. "Fine!" He said coldly. "Cutting off your nose to spite your face, are you? I suppose it is your choice. Long may it bring you joy!" He turned and stalked away. A sudden loud  
  
_Crash!_  
  
Followed by the telltale tinkle of breaking glass told Jazzie that he had just destroyed something, and that, by the sound of it, it had been the old sash window. _"Don't you dare turn around!"_ Said the voice. " _He doesn't deserve to be weighed down by your wretchedness!"_

So, through a haze of tears, she began to sing instead.  
  
_“The sky is red tonight_ _  
_ _We're on the edge tonight_ _  
_ _No shooting star to guide us_ _  
_ _Eye for an eye, why tear each other apart?_ _  
_ _Please tell me why, why do we make it so hard?_ _  
_ _Look at us now, we only got ourselves to blame_ _  
_ _It's such a shame_ _  
_ _How many times can we win and lose?_ _  
_ _How many times can we break the rules between us?_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _How many times do we have to fight?_ _  
_ _How many times till we get it right between us?_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _So come and face me now_ _  
_ _Here on the stage tonight_ _  
_ _Let's leave the past behind us_ _  
_ _Eye for an eye, why tear each other apart?_ _  
_ _Please tell me why, why do we make it so hard?_ _  
_ _Look at us now, we only got ourselves to blame_ _  
_ _It's such a shame_ _  
_ _Tell me, how many times can we win and lose?_ _  
_ _How many times can we break the rules between us?_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _How many times do we have to fight?_ _  
_ _How many times till we get it right between us?_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _What's gone between us has come between us_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _(Tell me now) What's gone between us has come between us_ _  
_ _How many times can we win and lose?_ _  
_ _How many times can we break the rules between us?_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _How many times do we have to fight?_ _  
_ _How many times till we get it right between us?_ _  
_ _Only teardrops, only teardrops_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _How many times can we win and lose?_ _  
_ _How many times can we break the rules between us?_ _  
_ _Only teardrops_ _  
_ _How many times do we have to fight?_ _  
_ _How many times till we get it right between us?_ _  
_ _Only teardrops.”_  
  
(Teardrops by Emmelie De Forest)  
  
All of a sudden she clutched at her heart and screamed. The pain! It was unbearable! "Don't go!" She cried and tried to stumble after him, but collapsed.

He quickly re-materialised from the shadows at the sound of her screams and gasped when he saw her lying face down on the floor. "No!" He shouted, his anger melting away like an iceberg in the desert as he raced towards her, skidding to his knees beside her seemingly lifeless body.

"Jazz?" he asked tentatively, pulling her onto his lap and cradling her in his arms as though she were an infant. "Oh God! Please don't be…!"

She began to stir and he sighed with relief, lovingly stroked, her face with the backs of his fingers. "Sweetheart?" He asked. "What's wrong? Say something!"

Slowly, her eyelids flickered open and she gazed blearily up at him. "My heart…!" she whimpered. "My mind! Is all broken!"  
  
"I can fix you, my love. But only if you let me!" He told her vehemently.  
  
"But ze voices-!" She began.  
  
"What voices?" He asked.  
  
"Ze ones in my head!" She tried to explain, but then found that she didn't have to because suddenly he closed his eyes and nodded understandably.  
  
"Oh. Snap."  
  
"What?"  
  
He looked at her. "You think _you're_ the only one who has experienced trauma? Think again," he said.  
  
"You mean...you hear voices too?" She asked in disbelief.  
  
"All the time," he nodded.  
  
She couldn't believe it. She would never have guessed in a million years! "How long have you had zem for?" She queried.  
  
"My whole life," he confessed. "The bad ones used to drive me insane, but then over time I learnt how to manage them. They thrive on misery, you see. They love it, so will do everything they can to make you feel it. But there is one thing that shuts them up."  
  
"What's that?" She asked.  
  
"Love," he whispered. And before she could argue, he bent down and kissed her.

But she seemed reluctant to kiss him back, somehow. "Look," he whispered, suddenly struck with an awful sense of self doubt. "If you would rather be with Rum Tum Tugger...you know I'll understand-"

But she looked ready to cut him off from the moment he had spoken, knowing full well what he was about to say, "I don't-!"

"It is your choice," he continued, speaking over the top of her. "I'd would never you force you-"

"I don't want to be wiz him!" She almost shouted. "I do not love him, not even a little bit!"

Then she sat up and curled a paw behind his head, bringing his face close to hers. "I love you!" She said in a softer voice, and finally returned his kiss.  
  
Suddenly the full moon appeared from behind a cloud and shone a spotlight onto the floor. "Take it as a sign," he said. "EC has spoken. Will you dance with me?"  
  
"Zat would be a good place to start," she chuckled and allowed him to help her up.  
  
He watched her while she swayed and turned in the shaft of light, content to admire the fragility of her movements which belied how strong she really was. Until she suddenly fell to her knees! But he was there this time, supporting her. She sighed and leaned into him, then he lifted her back onto her feet and they began to dance around the floor together.

Presently, she drifted away from him. But as though the distance between them had become too much, she ran back towards him and performed a graceful grande jete, allowing him to catch her. He then lifted her up high above his head, holding her suspended there, before letting her fall gently back down again.

They began to dance away from one another. But not for long. In the next heartbeat she had leapt straight back into his arms again and curled her’s around his neck, holding him tight. And he held her just as tenderly while softly singing,

 _"Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide._ _  
_ _I'll take it by your side._ _  
_ _Such imagination seems to help the feeling slide._ _  
_ _I'll take it by your side._ _  
_ _Instant correlation sucks and breeds a pack of lies._ _  
_ _I'll take it by your side._ _  
_ _Over saturation curls the skin and tans the hide._ _  
_ _I'll take it by your side._ _  
_ _tick, tock_ _  
_ _tick, tock_ _  
_ _tick, tock_ _  
_ _tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tock_ _  
_ _I'm unclean, a libertine_ _  
_ _And every time you vent your spleen,_ _  
_ _I seem to lose the power of speech,_ _  
_ _You're slipping slowly from my reach._ _  
_ _You grow me like an evergreen,_ _  
_ _You've never seen the lonely me at all_ _  
_ _I,_ _  
_ _Take the plan, spin it sideways._ _  
_ _I,_ _  
_ _Fall._ _  
_ _Without you, I'm nothing._ _  
_ _Without you, I'm nothing._ _  
_ _Without you, I'm nothing._ _  
_ _Take the plan, spin it sideways._ _  
_ _Without you, I'm nothing at all.”_

(Without you I'm nothing by Placebo)

"I promised you I wouldn't let you go," he whispered in her ear. "So you can tell that voice inside your head that I am not going anywhere, no matter how hard you push me. I can be a stubborn git when I want to be, you know!"

"But where did you-?" She began.  
  
"Where did I go?" He finished for her. "Oh not far. I just felt the need to break something, that's all. It’s ok. You're allowed to drive me crazy! It’s fine!"  
  
She giggled. It was a sound that was like music to his ears! "So just to clarify, I am forgiven right?" He asked.  
  
"I was never angry wiz you," she replied, her voice muffled by the fur on his cheek. "I just miss you zat’s all!"  
  
_"Halle-friggin-lujah!"_ He thought.

They broke apart and he held her paws, distractedly running his thumbs over her knuckles; something he did, she had noticed, when he was feeling troubled or nervous.  
  
“What on _Earth_ were you doing in the canal, Jazz?” he asked suddenly, silently dreading the answer.  
  
She shrugged and said quietly, “Just...couldn't see any ozzer way-”  
  
“Jazz-!” he faltered.

And there was the thing he had been dreading. Choking up. The lump in his throat which coincided with the tear that ran down his face. “I’m sorry-!” he whispered.

“No!” She cried, reaching up to wipe the tear away. “No. I am sorry. I failed you. Even zough Mistoffelees brought you back, I couldn't handle ze fact zat I let you die. I struggle to forgive myself-”  
  
“You did everything you could, that much I do know, so you have no reason the feel like a failure,” he interrupted. “It is thanks to ALL of you cooperating TOGETHER that I am alive to fight another day. And by the way, have you any idea how extraordinary that is? We’re cats! We don't work _together_! I almost didn't make it, I know. But I believe I came back for no one else but you. Only for me to almost lose you?”  
  
“But I-!”  
  
“Do you have any idea how close I came?” he cut her off. “Well, I shall tell you! If it had taken me a few seconds more to get to you, then I would be not be arguing with you right now! I would be burying your drowned corpse…!”  
  
He held her tighter and closed his eyes to clear the image. “Just promise me one thing,” he whispered. “That you will NEVER do anything like that again!”  
  
“I would promise you anysing!” She replied, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips.  
  
“Sounds like a challenge!” He said, smirking.  
  
Her tiny smile broadened into one which was almost coy as she began to trace the stripes on his torso with her fingertip, feeling his heart rate soar beneath it. “You know," she suggested sassily. "We _could_ always...start again? If you'd like to?”  
  
He inhaled sharply and said dismissively, "Ah sod all that! Let's just carry on from where we left off! I think we've wasted more than enough time, don't you?"  
  
"I sink I like zat idea!" She purred.  
  
He swept her into his arms. "Right then, Miss Jazzie,” he enquired, looking down at her. “Where were we? Ah yes! I remember...vaguely!"  
  
"Si je me souviens bien, tu allais me faire l'amour," she stated. *1  
  
He smiled roguishly. "Say that again!" He said.

* * *

 

 He barely recalled the journey from the dance floor to the bed, but that mattered little when all he cared about was being in her arms, feeling her warmth and hearing her sigh in his ear. “Are you alright?” he asked her.

“Oui,” she whispered.

“Not squishing you am I?” he checked.

“No. I'm quite alright!” she replied with a wry smile.

“It's just that you're so tiny! I'm afraid I might crush you or something-!” he started to explain, but she cut him off by grabbing the ring on his collar and pulling him down so that she could give him a firm kiss.

"I will not break my love," she said with a tiny hint of smoky aggression. Just enough to keep him on his toes but not pussy foot around her. "Maintenant, fais moi l'amour ou je te viole à la place!" *2  
  
"I have no idea what you just said, but I _love_ it!" he chuckled. "Say something else!"  
  
"J'ai dit que tu devais me faire l'amour maintenant ou que je te violerais, démon sexy!" She repeated, this time with a salacious grin. *2b

He laughed, “Démon sexy huh? D’accord Mademoiselle. Vous l'avez demandé!” *3

He reached down and kissed her. Their love making was urgent, flooded with a passion that was acute and so intense that she arched her back and cried out fervidly in French, feeling love in her heart for the tom who answered with a blissful cry of his own. _“Zis must be ze closest sing to making love to a God zere is!”_ she thought to herself.

With a collective sigh of relief they both collapsed, shaking and exhausted, clinging onto each other for dear life. Neither wanted to be the first to let go. "I love you," she said in a sotto voce.  
  
“Do you mean that?” came his rather muffled reply.  
  
"Oui. I mean zat," she promised fervently.  
  
He whispered into her neck. "And that stuff you said earlier? Did you mean that?"  
  
She gently ran her fingers over the contours of his pronounced latissimus dorsi and felt his heartbeat pounding next to hers; while her own body continued to shudder periodically with dissipating jolts of electricity. She felt the cool metal studs which adorned his collar pressing into her cheek as she stroked his head and kissed him for had to be the eleven hundredth time. "No, silly!" She murmured. "Couldn't you tell I was lying?"  
  
"Couldn't you have just told the truth?" He whispered.  
  
"I was trying to hurt you," she confessed.  
  
"But... _why_?" He asked incredulously.  
  
"Because I didn't sink I deserved to be happy," she told him honestly. "Zat is ze truth of it."  
  
"So you decided to take me down with you, huh?" He said wearily. "Bast Jazz! I can deal with most things, but losing you isn't one of them I've just discovered."  
  
"Zat is what fuck ups do," she justified.  
  
"You're not a fuck up!" He argued and held her tighter.

"And your happiness is all I want," he added. "I promise never to hurt you again."  
  
"I do not hurt anymore," she said, smiling. "And I sink, I have made it up to you, no?"  
  
He chuckled softly, "Oui. The making up was almost certainly worth all that agro! We should fall out more often!"

“Are you being serious?!” She said suddenly.

“Not this time!" he chuckled again. "Are you sure I'm not squashing you?”

She held him tighter when she felt him tense, an indication that he was about to move.

“Yes, I'm sure!” She insisted. “So don't even _sink_ about moving! Let me hold you for just a few more minutes, s'il vous plait?”

He smiled and relaxed. “I’ll stay as long as you wish,” he relented.

She closed her eyes and continued to stroke his head, imagining that she could heal all of his pain with her touch. She wasn't wrong!  
  
_“Remember those walls I built_ _  
_ _Well, baby, they're tumbling down_ _  
_ _And they didn't even put up a fight_ _  
_ _They didn't even make a sound_ _  
_ _I found a way to let you win_ _  
_ _But I never really had a doubt_ _  
_ _Standing in the light of your halo_ _  
_ _I got my angel now_ _  
_ _It's like I've been awakened_ _  
_ _Every rule I had you break it_ _  
_ _It's the risk that I'm taking_ _  
_ _I ain't never gonna shut you out_ _  
_ _Everywhere I'm looking now_ _  
_ _I'm surrounded by your embrace_ _  
_ _Baby, I can see your halo_ _  
_ _You know you're my saving grace_ _  
_ _You're everything I need and more_ _  
_ _It's written all over your face_ _  
_ _Baby, I can feel your halo_ _  
_ _Pray it won't fade away_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _Hit me like a ray of sun_ _  
_ _Burning through my darkest night_ _  
_ _You're the only one that I want_ _  
_ _Think I'm addicted to your light_ _  
_ _I swore I'd never fall again_ _  
_ _But this don't even feel like falling_ _  
_ _Gravity can't forget_ _  
_ _To pull me back to the ground again_ _  
_ _Feels like I've been awakened_ _  
_ _Every rule I had you break it_ _  
_ _The risk that I'm taking_ _  
_ _I'm never gonna shut you out_ _  
_ _Everywhere I'm looking now_ _  
_ _I'm surrounded by your embrace_ _  
_ _Baby, I can see your halo_ _  
_ _You know you're my saving grace_ _  
_ _You're everything I need and more_ _  
_ _It's written all over your face_ _  
_ _Baby, I can feel your halo_ _  
_ _Pray it won't fade away_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _Halo, halo_ _  
_ _Everywhere I'm looking now_ _  
_ _I'm surrounded by your embrace_ _  
_ _Baby, I can see your halo_ _  
_ _You know you're my saving grace_ _  
_ _You're everything I need and more_ _  
_ _It's written all over your face_ _  
_ _Baby, I can feel your halo_ _  
_ _Pray it won't fade away_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can feel your halo (halo) halo_ _  
_ _I can see your halo (halo) halo.”_  
(Halo by Beyonce)

* * *

 

She couldn’t help but feel a sharp pang of regret when he eventually rolled off her, groaning and stretching. “Morning!” he greeted the rather groggy Snowshoe, kissing her one last time. “Would you like some more tea? Seeing as you spilled the last one I made you!”  
  
“Yes please!” She sighed happily and lay back on the pillow, content to observe him as he went about his morning ritual.

The first thing he did was to have another good stretch and after that, whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, roughly washed his face and paws before brushing his fur back into place, all while whistling a random tune that sounded vaguely like:

_Jellicle Cats come out tonight, Jellicle Cats come one come all..._

 Then he tossed her the brush and came back to the bed with the tea. Jazzie took a grateful slurp and they sat in silence for a bit, sipping and staring at one another until Munkustrap asked, “What was your kitten's name, if indeed you were allowed to...you know...name him?”  
  
Jazzie absentmindedly combed her whiskers and replied, “Zat was ze only sing I _was_ allowed to give him. I named him Kayan.”  
  
He nodded solemnly. There was silence and then Jazzie asked, “So. What are your plans today?”  
  
Munkustrap set down his empty mug. “Well,” he said thoughtfully. “I was thinking that you’d like to spend the week with me, maybe? If you can get the time off! I mean, you don’t have to if you’d rather not. I'll understand-”  
  
“Oh Munkustrap, don’t be daft!” Jazzie exclaimed. “How long have I been waiting for you to ask me? Wild horses wouldn't stop me!”  
  
“Great!" He said brightly. "Hold on! There's something else...”  
  
He had picked something up off of the table and now he handed it to her. Jazzie blinked and held the piece of paper at arm's length so that she could read the words. “P-Paris?” she asked.  
  
“Just for a few days," he explained. "No interruptions. No jealous queens. Just you and me. If you'd like-?”  
  
He didn't get any further, because he was promptly rugby tackled and showered with yet more kisses. “I'll take that as a ‘yes’ then, shall I?” he chuckled.

* * *

  
Sometime later, he stood up and held his paw out to her. “Come,” he said. “It is time.”

“For what?” she asked, placing her paw into his.  
  
He picked up two rugs and handed one to her. “You’ll see!” He replied with a knowing smile.  
  
He led her back to the tyre clearing, just as the rays of morning sunlight were falling upon the ground. “But I can't do ze sings zat you can do!” she complained.  
  
“You don’t need to do EXACTLY what I do,” he reasoned. “Just do what you'd normally do.”  
  
“If you say so!" She sighed. "I’ll do my best!”

"Don't try to do any one paw stuff ok!" He told her. "That's pretty advanced...I mean I've been doing this a long time..."

He carefully laid his rug down and then stood on it, placing his paws together and closing his eyes for a moment. Jazzie followed suit.  
  
"It is not about the shapes your body makes anyway, but how it feels when it is making them," he explained. "It should feel challenging, but also easy. You'll soon see what I mean!"  
  
She was apprehensive, but decided to humour him anyway as she listened to the prayer he uttered.

 _"Vande gurunam caranaravinde_ _  
__sandarsita svatma sukhava bodhe_ _  
__nihsreyase jangalikayamane_ _  
__samsara halahala mohasantyai_ _  
__abahu purusakaram_ _  
__sankhacakrasi dharinam_ _  
__sahasra sirasam svetam_ _  
__pranamami patanjalim_ _  
__ooooooooommmm."_  
  
She closed her eyes, placed her paws together and thought about her breathing, feeling it flowing like the tide through her nose and throat. She imagined the energy rising up through her feet, energising her whole body and suddenly felt the desire to move. So they raised their paws up to the sky, then bowed down to place them on the ground with their heads resting against their shins and from there they flowed through various movements; from push ups, to back bends, twisting their bodies into different shapes and balancing precariously on their heads and paws. For the most part, Jazzie tried to follow Munkustrap, except when it wasn’t possible and he did something that was too hard for her! When that happened she felt content to just do her own thing, but in the end they both ended up back on the floor with their legs folded, feeling their minds calm and their heart rates begin to slow. After that, they quietly lay down to gratefully stretch out their tired limbs. “As we’re here,” Munkustrap said quietly. “Try not to be anywhere else. Do not allow the mind to wander, but keep it fixed on a single point. Be content to just be. Let any tension you’re feeling melt away like...like snow, I guess. And if you have any worries, well, let them all go now. Say: worries, do not bother me anymore, and instead say to yourself: may I be happy, may I be peaceful, may I be strong and free from suffering. The universe owes me nothing, but equally, I don’t owe it anything either. What is, simply is and what will be, will be. May the inner fire of purification help to open up the path of strength and may the path of strength guide me towards enlightenment and inner peace.”  
  
They lay in peaceful silence for a time before they eventually sat up and Munkustrap smiled at her dozy expression. “How was that?” he asked.  
  
“Wow, I feel amazing!” Jazzie replied. “I see _why_ you do it now!”  
  
“You were great!” He commended her.  
  
“Sank you!” she said, but then she frowned.  
  
“How did you do zat one armed thing?” she asked.  
  
“What? You mean this?” Munkustrap chuckled, performing a one armed flying crow like it was a stroll in the park.  
  
“Yeah zat, you show-off!” She griped.  
  
He laughed. “You can do it with two paws can’t you?” he asked.  
  
“Yeah, just about-”  
  
“Well then," he said. "You can do it with one arm too. You just have to keep trying!”  
  
“Really, is zat it?" She asked in disbelief. "No secret?”

He shrugged. "Pretty much," he told her. "No secret! Just hard work and a lot of face planting into the floor!"

"It is hard though, I won't lie!" He quickly added. "And the injuries mean I still can't do it on the left, annoyingly!"

He noticed that she still looked skeptical. “What?” He asked. “You think I was born strong?”

She shrugged as if to say, “Might have!”

He laughed and said to her, “Jazzie. No one is born strong. And life doesn't just give you a gift of strength either. It is something that you must work at, little by little, every single day. Trust me. I used to be as weak as a fish!” 

"But surely, someone must have taught you, no?" She pressed.  
  
"I do have a teacher, yes," he nodded. "In my life, I have cats to whom I owe my very existence to. Him being one. And you being another."  
  
He gently kissed her, causing her heart to flutter a little bit. “What shall we do now?” she whispered.  
  
Munkustrap smiled, and he had a distinct twinkle in his eye as he cheekily replied, “Well, I wouldn’t go asking me! For leave it up to me and we’ll end up spending the whole week in bed!”  
  
“Well, before we do zat, how about we go have breakfast?” she suggested.  
  
“Good idea!" He agreed. "All this drama makes me hungry-!”  
  
“Not so fast Munkustrap!”  
  
They both turned around to find Rumpus Cat standing there. “I am here for your training!” he announced.  
  
Munkustrap hurriedly made introductions. "Jazzie, I do not believe you have met Rumpus Cat. Or should I say The Great Rumpus Cat: Sensei, personal trainer, mentor, physiotherapist, shrink and...sadist! This is the Cat I was talking to you about."  
  
Jazzie walked up and shyly extended her paw, allowing him to pull her into a faire la bise. To her, he had brought back her reason for living and therefore could be classed as a true friend. "It's wonderful to meet you," she said, brightly. "Sank you so much for fixing him for us. Pour moi."  
  
"Pleasures all mine," Rumpus replied. "I take it you are the lady he was pining over. I can see why now. Still, he may be fixed, but adjustments still need to be made."  
  
“Do we HAVE to do this now?” Munkustrap groaned.  
  
“I am afraid we do,” came the reply.  
  
He looked apologetically at Jazzie and shrugged. “Duty calls,” he sighed.  
  
She placed a paw onto his shoulder and assured him. “Don’t worry! I shall wait. I am very patient remember!”  
  
“This isn’t going to be pretty,” he warned.  
  
“I will be zere to give you moral support!” She assured him.  
  
“Thanks. I’ll need it!” he said as Rumpus Cat clapped his paws together.  
  
“Right!" He snapped. "Enough chat with your lady friend, time to get down to business! Fifty press ups! Go go go!”  
  
“Why fifty?” Munkustrap complained.  
  
“It’s sixty now!" Said Rumpus. "Less talk, more pushing!”  
  
“What? That’s not fair-!” Munkustrap started to protest.  
  
“Seventy!”  
  
“Ok, ok…!”  
  
Jazzie couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for him, even though it was quite entertaining watching him spar with Rumpus. Sometimes it looked as though they were fighting for real, taking blows which would have knocked the living daylights out of her and yet they shook them off as though they were a mere afterthought. Occasionally, Munkustrap would make a mistake and would then be forced to do a myriad of nasty forfeits as a form of punishment. At least, they seemed like punishments to Munkustrap as he attempted to bash out yet another set of finger press-ups, followed by round of pistol squats. "Ow! But my shoulders...are on fire!!!" He moaned.

"Observe it. And push through it," Rumpus sharply replied.

"Easy for _you_ to say!" Munkustrap part panted/ part grumbled.

To Rumpus, the so called punishments were simply an excuse to get the best out of his student, although only Jazzie could appreciate that! Munkustrap was allowed a little rest bite when the session turned to shoulder physiotherapy. “That's it!” Rumpus was encouraging him. “Push my arm out of the way! Push, push, push! Feeling the burn yet?”  
  
“Uh huh!” Munkustrap grunted.  
  
“Good!" Said Rumpus, grinning. "Now push harder!”  
  
By the end, Munkustrap lay in a heap on the floor, quite unable to move. “My body is officially on strike now!” he proclaimed.  
  
“This is why you always lose!” snapped Rumpus Cat. “Now get up, you lazy furball!”  
  
Munkustrap reluctantly obeyed and staggered to his feet. “Now, bow!” Said Rumpus.  
  
They both bowed. “And that concludes your training. I want to see improvement next time!” Rumpus told him and with that, scurried away into the hills of scrap.  
  
Stifling a fit of giggles, Jazzie walked over to a heavily panting Munkustrap and slipped a sympathetic paw into his. He looked dead on his feet! “You were _amazing_!” she whispered in his ear.  
  
“You flatter me!” he replied, morosely. "Bast! Those finger press-ups are the worst!"  
  
She stroked his arm, deliberately running her paw over his bicep. "All worth it zough, no?" She smiled, cheekily.  
  
He smiled back. "If you say so, Miss Jazzie."  
  
“Now. Where were we, again?” she asked.  
  
“Hmmm...”  
  
He went to kiss her, but she pulled away looking confused. “I sought you were tired?” she said.  
  
He shrugged. “I’m never _that_ tired!”  
  
“Munkustrap!” scolded Jazzie. “Go get me some breakfast right now! Or else I’ll eat YOU!”  
  
“Yes, Ma’am!” he said cheekily.  
  
“Don’t call me Ma’am!” she said moodily.  
  
“Ok, Ma’am!” He repeated.  
  
“Grrr!”  
  
"Oi!"

Without warning she pounced and succeeded in wrestling him to the floor (Well I say 'wrestle,' but I use the term loosely. Because what she actually did was to jump on him, and then he simply lay down. He didn't really need much of an excuse to be quite honest!)    
  
He let her at least _think_ that she was winning though, for a little while at least, before catching her off guard and tickling her mercilessly. “Haha, revenge is mine!” he cried triumphantly.  
  
“Stop, stop! Haha!” she yelled through tears of laughter. “I’m sorry! Heeheeehee! I’m soooorrryyhyy!”  
  
He paused in dealing out the tickling torture, holding her paws so that she couldn’t retaliate. “Truly sorry?” he asked.  
  
“Yes!" She yelled. "You can get off me now!”  
  
“Oh alright then. If I must...” He relented and tentatively released her paws.

But she didn’t move. Instead she traced her finger over the stripes on his face as though fascinated by them. She didn’t really want him to move, so she reached up to kiss him...when suddenly they were both startled by a loud, growling noise. “Jazzy?” asked Munkustrap.  
  
“Mmm?”  
  
“Was that your belly?” he enquired.  
  
“It most certainly was NOT!” She denied.  
  
“Well it wasn’t _mine_!” He argued.  
  
“Are we going to go and eat somesing now? Or not?” she demanded.  
  
“Sorry,” he said apologetically. “It's just that you keep distracting me. Well it’s not _my_ fault you’re sexy when you’re angry, is it?”  
  
“I'm going to seriously eat you now!” She growled.  
  
He laughed, “Not before I eat you first!”

* * *

  
When the couple EVENTUALLY arrived at Exotica’s cafe (looking a little dishevelled, it has to be said!) it was packed with hungry customers, so they were forced to squeeze in next to Mistoffelees and Hortenseya.  
  
Hortenseya's eyes widened. "You two _finally_ got your shit together, then?" She smirked and exchanged a knowing glance with Mistoffelees, who also smirked.  
  
"Been making up for lost time, as well, by the looks of things," he observed.  
  
"Oh shut up!" Snapped his Father.  
  
“What can I get you, Sir and Madame?” asked a happy go lucky Havana Brown.  
  
“What’s the special today, Exotica?” asked Munkustrap.  
  
“It’s Omelette Arnold Bennett or prawn pancakes today,” she replied, pointing to the notice board.  
  
Munkustrap looked over at Jazzie and shrugged. “I’d like ze pancakes please,” said Jazzie, trying not to salivate.  
  
“Goof fruf!”  
  
“What was zat Misto?” she asked. “I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch what you said zere!”  
  
Mistoffelees hastily swallowed his mouthful and tapped his plate with his fork. “The pancakes are bellissimo!” he exclaimed, causing Exotica to look a little bashful.  
  
“Why thank you!” she gushed. “I made them myself!”  
  
“Yeah...” said Munkustrap, frowning at his son’s lack of table etiquette. “I’ll go for the omelette please.”  
  
“Coming right up!” Exotica replied cheerfully, and she whisked away the menus and marched into the cafe.  
  
The food quickly arrived and while Jazzie was busy diving in, Munkustrap turned to Mistoffelees. “Hey, son?” he asked. “Are you busy today by any chance?”  
  
“I have a new invention that I am working on, but apart from that I’m not busy, no,” replied the young magician. “Why do you ask?”  
  
“There is something I have to do,” replied Munkustrap, and he quickly explained about his promise to Poseidon.  
  
“So let me get zis straight,” said Jazzie, who had been listening with intrigue. “You’re being haunted by ze ghost of your predecessor and he wants you to dig up his bones and burn zem?”  
  
“Exactly how I explained it,” he nodded.  
  
Suddenly, Jazzie felt like the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. “Wait!" She said, horrified. "He wasn’t watching us when…?”  
  
“Er…” Munkustrap floundered, looking sheepish.  
  
“What?!” She stared at him open mouthed.  
  
“I...I don’t-” he tried to stammered.  
  
“You don’t know? And when were you planning on telling me zis?” she demanded.  
  
“Oh yeah, because _that_ would have gone down well," he said, suddenly condescending. "By the way dear, I’m being stalked by the ghost of my mentor and he may be watching us right now. Still up for...?”  
  
Upon seeing her horrified expression, he hastily added, “I’m pretty sure he wasn’t!”  
  
“And where is he now?” she asked, looking around and shivering, as though he could be standing next to her.  
  
“Staring at us from across the street,” replied Mistoffelees.  
  
“Wait, you can see him too?” asked Munkustrap.  
  
“Oh yes," Mistoffelees said matter of factly. "I’m assuming that _is_ Poseidon who is staring mournfully at you, is it not? I know a ghost when I see one.”  
  
Jazzie looked, but couldn't see anyone. “Well, at least that confirms that I haven’t gone completely bonkers!” Munkustrap said, sounding relieved. “I was starting to get worried, seeing as talking to things that aren’t there is not a good sign, so I’ve heard.”  
  
“So, what’s the plan?” asked Mistoffelees, eagerly. “I would be happy to help in any way I can! But it WILL cost you.”

* * *

 

They were just finishing up when who should come marching up to them, arm in arm with a certain Red Somali Queen? “Demeter?” Munkustrap exclaimed.  
  
Jazzie immediately hung back and went to stand next to Hortenseya and Mistoffelees. “Uh oh!” Mistoffelees whispered out of the side of his mouth. “The jealous bitch is back!”  
  
“What did you say?!” Demeter snapped at him.  
  
“Er...I said it’s good to have you back?” squeaked Mistoffelees.  
  
Munkustrap went to greet her, but was surprised when, instead of the joyful reunion that he was expecting, what he actually got was a second slap in his already sore face. His expression registered confusion, then quickly turned to anger, and then back to confusion again. _"Ah! WHY is it ALWAYS the left cheek!"_ He groaned inwardly.  
  
“Demi, what…?” was all he could splutter.  
  
“Don’t ‘Demi what’ me!” she stormed, jabbing a finger at him. “I have been with my humans TRYING to recover from the grief of losing our son, and here _you_ are galavanting off with some dosey WHORE!”  
  
Jazzie bristled. She sure as Hell wasn’t going to stand for that! She’d been called a whore for the last time! So she stepped forward, ignoring Munkustrap when he put his arm out to stop her. “How dare you!” She hissed.  
  
But Demeter hissed back, “You stay out of this, you dirty trollop!”  
  
Both queens were about to go for one another, when Jazzie felt strong arms holding her back and realised that both Mistoffelees and Hortenseya had hold of each of her arms, while Bombalurina had grabbed Demeter around the waist. “Come on Jazz,” pleaded Mistoffelees. “Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah!”  
  
He clicked his fingers, gave a flick of the wrist and three large, savoury milkshakes suddenly appeared on the table in front of them. They duly sat down to watch the drama unfold, taking nervous sips through their straws and wincing every so often whenever Demeter raised her voice. “What has gotten into you?” Munkustrap demanded. “I hardly ever see you and when I do it is to have you assault me and then yell in my face!”  
  
"What has gotten into ME? More like, WHAT has weedled  _her_ way into YOU more like!" Demeter yelled, jabbing a shaking claw in Jazzie's direction.  
  
_“Everybody's talking about you and her together_ _  
_ _  
_ _How could you do that to me?_ _  
_ _And everybody's talking about all the wonderful things you do with her_ _  
_ _Like you used to with me_ _  
_ _  
_ _Can't you tell by the look on my face?_ _  
_ _I still like you that way_ _  
_ _Now I can hardly remember why we ever lost ties_ _  
_ _But I can tell_ _  
_ _That I love you, and I still love you_ _  
_ _  
_ _Long as I live (long as I, I can live)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _It's killing me (it's killing me, killing me)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _  
_ _If you can't be with the one you really, truly love_ _  
_ _Do the two step_ _  
_ _Everybody's talking about you and her together_ _  
_ _How could you do that to me?_ _  
_ _And everybody's talking, everybody's going on about her_ _  
_ _Like you used to with me_ _  
_ _  
_ _I can tell by the look on your face_ _  
_ _You really like her that way_ _  
_ _And now I'm trying not to lose my mind and start crying_ _  
_ _But I can tell_ _  
_ _That you love her, you really love her_ _  
_ _  
_ _Long as I live (long as I, I can live)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _It's killing me (it's killing me, killing me)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _Long as I live (long as I, I can live)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _It's killing me (it's killing me, killing me)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _  
_ _If you can't be with the one you love_ _  
_ _It's okay_ _  
_ _Cause if you can't be with the one you really, truly love_ _  
_ _Do a two step_ _  
_ _  
_ _Long as I live (long as I, I can live)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _It's killing me (it's killing me, killing me)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _Long as I live (long as I, I can live)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _It's killing me (it's killing me, killing me)_ _  
_ _I'll never get over (you getting over me)_ _  
_ _  
_ _If you can't be with the one you really, truly love…”_  
  
(Long As I Live by Toni Braxton)  
  
Munkustrap looked at her in disbelief. “I'm not _over_ you-!” He began.  
  
“She has to go!” Demeter shouted. “You are making a big mistake!”  
  
“She is my mistake to make!" He argued. "As were you-!”  
  
“She’s the reason you ended up in that state! I’m just thinking of you!” She was hysterical now.  
  
“You are thinking of no one else other than yourself!" He shot back. "Bast! I never had you down as jealous, Demeter! I don't even feel like I know you anymore!”  
  
“Hello!” she screamed. “I have lost my child! Whereas you’ve just MOVED ON to your next bit of stuff-!”  
  
“Oh right!" He interrupted, throwing up his paws. "So basically what you're saying is, I don't care that our son is dead?”  
  
“I know that you’d rather spend your time with some backstabbing slut then you would with me!” She hissed.  
  
“Don’t talk about her like that!” He shouted.  
  
“Oh! Sticking up for her now, are we?" She mocked in a high pitched voice. "How very noble of you. Have you fucked her too?”  
  
Silence.  
  
“Oh?” Demeter staggered backwards, as though he had struck her. “Oh you have! Do you love her?”  
  
“You’re being hysterical,” he muttered.  
  
Everyone in the cafe suddenly cringed and Demeter’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Answer the question!” she growled.  
  
Munkustrap’s own eyes turned to steel as he stole a quick glance in Jazzie’s direction. “Alright," he said. "As you asked. Yes. Yes I do. But I love you too-”  
  
“Oh no!" She cried, shaking her head. "Don’t you dare! Don’t you ever say-”  
  
“What?" He proclaimed. "I love you? It’s true!”  
  
“How can you Munkustrap?" She sobbed. "How can you?”  
  
“Sometimes I wonder!” He snarled, beginning to lose his temper.  
  
As she looked at him wide eyed, Munkustrap could see that this conversation was going nowhere. And he had things to do! So he took a deep breath and decided to try to placate her (even though everyone else could see that it was like trying to put out a forest fire with a water pistol.) “Look,” he said reasonably, holding up his paws. “He was my son too, remember? Surely we should be supporting one another rather than fighting?”  
  
“Oh, go eat your tail!” she snarled.  
  
Then she glared at Jazzie. “Don’t worry,” she said scathingly. “You may think you have him now, but he’ll be onto the next pretty thing before you know it! Enjoy him while he's still enjoying you. He will tire of you before long!” And she stormed off.  
  
Munkustrap looked at Bombalurina who had been standing a few steps behind the entire time, ready to pull her cousin away in case things got out of hand. He shrugged at her and made a face which said: “ _What is she on?”_  
  
To which he received a shrug and an apologetic smirk as a form of reply. So he raised his eyebrows and his next expression asked: _“Does she know about...ahem...you know...us?”_  
  
He was greeted with a wide eyed, slow shake of the head. “And may it stay that way!” she mouthed.  
  
She was about to follow after her cousin, when without warning, she suddenly lurched sideways and fell to the ground. “Bomb...!?” Munkustrap gasped.  
  
Half way down the street, Demeter also saw her cousin fall and began pelting it back up again shouting her name. By the time she got to her, quite a crowd had gathered around the stricken Somali Queen. “Bombi? What’s wrong?” she cried, as Munkustrap was helping her to her feet, supporting her with an arm around her waist.  
  
“All right, all right,” Bombalurina snapped, waving the crowd away. “Just a dizzy spell that’s all, no need to get your knickers in a twist! Nothing to see here!”  
  
Jazzie barged her way through, holding a glass of water in her paw. “Here Bombi, drink zis,” she instructed.  
  
The Red Queen managed to take the smallest of sips, before grimacing. “Sorry love,” she apologised. “It just makes me want to throw up! Already threw up this morning...”  
  
Jazzie and Hortenseya exchanged glances. “We need to get you to ze infirmary,” said Jazzie.  
  
“What? I just been there!” Bombalurina complained. “I got bored of waiting!”  
  
“I’ll take her, Jazz,” said Hortenseya. “It’s your week off remember!”  
  
She winked, but luckily Demeter was too concerned with Bombalurina to notice. “I’m coming too!” she said and without even glancing at Jazzie or Munkustrap, she gently placed one of Bombalurina’s arms around her shoulders, while Hortenseya eased her away from Munkustrap and guided her in the direction of the scrapyard.  
  
After they’d gone, Jazzie turned to Munkustrap and said, “Well zat was an eventful morning!”  
  
“Tell me about it,” he replied moodily, then his expression softened at the look of her hurt one. “Sorry hun. It hasn’t exactly turned out how I planned-”  
  
“Don’t apologise! It wasn’t your fault!” She tried to assure him.  
  
“To be honest, I have no idea whether it was or not, but I’ll still have to be the one to smooth things over at some point," he admitted, his voice heavy. "I think I’ll give her a week to calm down first, though.”  
  
Jazzie smirked and put her arms around him. “ _If_ she calms down you mean!” she giggled.  
  
“Oi, don’t say that!” he scolded, but he smiled in spite of himself.  
  
Jazzie pouted and leaned against him. “She called me a dosey whore!” she huffed moodily. “And a trollop! _And_ a slut! She hurt my feelings and what have I _ever_ done to her?”  
  
Munkustrap placed his paws gently on either side of her face and looked into those mesmerizingly blue eyes of hers. “She was upset,” he calmly told her. “And we both know you’re not a whore. More like a phwoar!”  
  
Then he added with a whisper, “And how could I possibly get bored of you when I am still trying to get over how bedazzling you are!”  
  
“Get a room!”  
  
“Oh Misto, do shut up!” they both said in unison.  
  
“How in Bast’s name did she find out out about us anyway?” Munkustrap mused.  
  
Mistoffelees shifted awkwardly. “Ah. Well…” he started, fumbling for the right words.  
  
Munkustrap rounded on the small tom. “Yes Misto? I’m all ears!”  
  
“Yeah, well...um...she _may_ have overheard Nos and Tensy...er...‘discussing’ it with me!” he squeaked. “She was there with Bomby, you see. I swear we had no idea she could hear us! She's got ears like a pipistrel!”  
  
As he said all this, Munkustrap’s fingers were pinching the bridge of his nose as though trying to stave off the mother of all headaches. “I might have known…” he sighed.  
  
“Do you think Bombi’s ok though?” Mistoffelees pressed on as they wandered towards the scrap yard entrance.  
  
“Yes Misto,” Jazzie replied, breezily. “I sink she will be just fine.”  
  
“Well, she didn’t look fine!" Mistoffelees argued. "How can you be sure?”  
  
She looked at him incredulously. “You mean, you haven’t twigged?” she questioned, tentatively.  
  
“Twigged what?” asked both toms together.  
  
“Oh!” Jazzie clapped a paw to her forehead in exasperation. “Toms!”  
  
They could be so observant sometimes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm. Yeah. Munk comes across as a bit of a chauvinist at times, but I don't think he's about to apologise for that. It all comes with the high levels of testosterone I suppose. Mmmm...testosterone....
> 
> *1 If I remember correctly, you were going to make love to me.  
> *2a Now, make love to me or I will rape you instead!  
> *2b I said you had to make love to me now or I would rape you, sexy demon!  
> *3 Sexy demon huh? Ok Miss. You asked for it!


	19. Poseidon's Grave

Munkustrap was sitting on the scrap yard's perimeter wall with his head in his paws. His son, Mistoffelees, was sitting next to him in stunned silence. "Dad, you are so screwed!" he stated, rather unhelpfully.

"Yes, thank you Misto! I WAS aware!" Munkustrap snapped.

He looked at Jazzie, who was sitting on the other side of him. "How can you be so sure?" he asked.

"Well, it'll need to be formally diagnosed but I have seen enough in my time to know the signs, Munkustrap," Jazzie explained. "Congratulations by the way."

"Funnily enough, I don't feel like celebrating just yet!" He replied tersely. "I think, however, that I just  _might_ be ready to sign my own death warrant, though!"

She slipped a paw into his and squeezed it. "How many times do I have to tell you? Don't say sings like zat!" she scolded. "It took us twenty minutes to haul you back from ze dead and I don't like to be reminded of it!"

"So, you're not...mad?" he asked tentatively.

"Well, I cannot say for certain zat I am not mad, but I am definitely not angry," she said with a smile. "I sought about what you said and I have decided to at least try to learn to deal wiz my feelings of jealousy, for zey are purely selfish. I love you and you are here wiz me right now. Zat is all zat matters."

Meanwhile Mistoffelees was beginning get rather bored. "So are we going to do this thing or what?" he asked impatiently. "I have to say, I don't like the way that ghost keeps staring at us. It gives me the creeps!"

"I'll have you know that's your half uncle you're talking about!" Munkustrap said sharply, feeling rather irritated at being interrupted by this upstart. "But yes. I think we have procrastinated for long enough."

They jumped down off the wall and ambled over to a small brick building which served as the office and kitchen for the workmen. One such worker; a rather portly, bearded gentleman with a head of shoulder length grey hair who went by the name of Tiny, was sitting outside on a the step, eating a bacon buttie and slurping tea out of a chipped mug. "Right, here's the plan," said Munkustrap as they hid out of sight behind the corner of the building. "Jazzie, I need you to create a distraction. Do you think you could do that?"

The Snowshoe looked skeptical, but reluctantly nodded. "Good," said Munkustrap. "Because, let's face it, you have the nicer job here! Misto and I will sneak in when his back is turned."

The Tuxedo Tom nodded his reluctant approval. The sunshine was looking very inviting and all he really wanted to do was lie in it all afternoon! "Ok," said Munkustrap, also sounding somewhat unenthusiastic. "Let's do this!"

The worker had just stubbed out his cigarette when Jazzie wondered up to him and began to wind herself around his legs. "Why 'ello there cat," Tiny greeted, reaching down to stroke her. "I ain't seen you before! Wha's your name then, eh?"

Jazzie meowed in reply and looked at him with wide eyes, trying her best to look cute before rolling onto her back and demanding that he rub her belly. Out of the corner of her eye she spied Mistoffelees and Munkustrap sneaking in through the open doorway, but before Tiny could turn around she jumped onto his lap and settled herself down, purring contentedly. He wasn't going anywhere!

* * *

Meanwhile, the Silver Bengcoon and the Black and White Tom made their way towards the back office, following the ghost of Poseidon. The ghost made his way to the desk and slid underneath it while the pair followed suit. But to their surprise the apparition of the slate coloured Maine coon was nowhere to be seen! "Now where's he gone?" Munkustrap grumbled.

"I think he's down there!" Mistoffelees replied, pointing down at the bare wooden floorboards, which were grimy and heavily spattered with flecks of white paint.

Using his claw, he traced out a square and lines of white light appeared on the wood as he did so. These lines flared brightly for a second before dissipating; leaving behind a trap door. Munkustrap tugged on the piece of rope which served as a handle and the door swung open, revealing a set of dusty wooden steps which descended down into the blackness. Mistoffelees gulped and stepped aside. "You first dad," he said nervously.

"Why does it  _always_ have to be me?" Munkustrap complained, rolling his eyes as he gingerly stepped down the staircase, straining to see in the near blackness. His ears were on red alert and he had to rely heavily upon his white whiskers to feel his way forwards in order to prevent himself from tripping and falling down the remaining steps.

Even though darkness was not usually a problem for the cats, they still needed a little light to see by and so Munkustrap was extremely grateful for the sudden glow of blue light which Mistoffelees emitted from his paw like a torch. Cautiously, he made it to the bottom of the short flight of stairs but jumped back in surprise when Poseidon's face suddenly appeared out of the gloom. "Everlasting Cat, Pos!" snapped Munkustrap as he fought to settle his nerves. "I wish you'd STOP doing that! Right, where is this blinking grave of your's?"

"This way," replied the figure.

Knowing it was safe to turn back into their humanoid forms, the toms did just that and followed after him; and as they did so Mistoffelees spotted something. "Hey dad!" He whispered excitedly. "Dad!"

"What is it, Misto?" Asked Munkustrap, turning back to him.

"Look!" Said Mistoffelees, pointing.

Munkustrap looked and realised that they were passing a line of gravestones. "This must be the old cemetery," he breathed.

One gravestone in particular caught his attention so he walked up to it and read the words which were engraved upon it:

_Here lies beloved 1st Protector Siren_ _  
_ _Son of Deuteronomy and Eladrielle_ _  
_ _Died protecting us aged 8_ _  
_ _May Everlasting Cat rest his soul_

"Who was he?" asked Mistoffelees.

"The first Protector," Munkustrap replied solemnly. "We must be in the section where the Protectors were buried. I'm guessing their families are over there somewhere." He pointed to the other side of the cavernous space.

Jellicle graveyards were always laid out in sections, with graves arranged in order of profession, age and rank; and as they passed more graves, there was one thing which struck Mistoffelees. "Hey dad," he observed. "These Protectors don't live very long do they? I mean, the oldest I could find was twelve when he died, but Xavier was just four! Four!"

"Yeah, I know," said Munkustrap sadly. "In fact, most Protectors are required to retire at the age of around twelve, so I don't know what became of Dionnus. And as for Xavier, he couldn't have been in the job for more than year, so I'm guessing it was inexperience which cost him."

"And actually," Mistoffelees continued, with a quiver of dread coming into his voice. "The average age of death is…"

"Eight. Yeeeaaah. I honestly don't know what's so special about that age, but one thing I  _do_ know is that not a single Protector has ever retired. Not one."

"Really?" Exclaimed Mistoffelees.

"Not since eighteen thirty when records began to be kept at any rate," came the informed reply.

Then Munkustrap joked with a half smile, "But don't worry son! I don't mind being an exception to that rule!"

After carrying on in grim silence, they finally stopped in front of a gravestone marked:

 _Here lies 15th Protector Poseidon_ _  
_ _Son of Deuteronomy and Lyngred_ _  
_ _Died protecting us aged 8_ __  
May he forever be at peace.

"Don't worry Pos," Munkustrap promised. "We're here to see to that."

He looked at Mistoffelees. "Right, you hold the light," he instructed. "I'll dig."

* * *

Morning wore into afternoon.

"Have you found anything yet?" asked Mistoffelees, stifling a yawn (That nap in the sun was seeming more inviting than ever!)

Munkustrap looked up from the small pit he had dug. "Are  _you_ volunteering?" he asked grumpily.

"No no!" Mistoffelees shook his head. "You carry on!"

Munkustrap sighed and carried on scraping away at the mud; wondering whether he would find anything at all, but also secretly hoping that he wouldn't. Then suddenly he brushed away a bit of fine earth and uncovered something white. His stomach churned. It was unmistakably a bone, for it stood out like a sore thumb against the almost black soil. "Oh Heaviside!" he breathed. "Misto, I think I've found him. Do you think you could…?"

Before Munkustrap could finish his sentence, the young magician waved his paw over the ground and an ornate wooden box suddenly appeared. "Perfect!" He approved.

As respectfully as he could, Munkustrap gently eased bone after bone out of the ground and placed each of them into the box. Finally, the only thing missing was the skull and when he found it, Munkustrap had another sharp intake of breath. "Oh! That explains a lot…!" He mumbled.

"What is it?" asked Mistoffelees, peering over.

He could see the skull, but it was in bits, as though it had been crushed by a great force. The only thing that could have crushed the cat's skull like that would have been the jaws of something large. "I reckon that's what killed him," said Munkustrap. "He probably would have died instantly, but not before he saw what was coming. Poor sod."

At last, all of the bones had been collected and Munkustrap carefully brushed over the disturbed soil. But as he was doing this something suddenly caught his eye. Something glinting in the blue glow. "Hang on, what's this?" he wandered.

He reached down to pick up the small object and held it at arms length so that his squinting eyes could focus upon, what turned out to be, a small silver key. "I wonder what it's for?" he wondered out loud.

"Maybe it belonged to Poseidon?" suggested Mistoffelees. "Best put it in the box for now."

"Good idea," said Munkustrap and placed the key into the box, closed the lid and then put it under his arm.

"Let's get out of here," said Mistoffelees, stifling a shiver. "This place is creeping me out!"

"Not just yet Misto!" Munkustrap said suddenly.

"Oh, what!?" The Tuxedo complained in a high pitched voice.

"I'll just be a minute," Munkustrap assured him. "I want to find something while I am here."

He made his way across the old cemetery with Mistoffelees following close behind. He didn't fancy being left on his own in this spooky place! Meanwhile, Munkustrap went from gravestone to gravestone, having to brush dust from some of them in order to read the inscriptions. They passed a section containing, what looked to be, Old Deuteronomy's wives and finally, Munkustrap found what he had been searching for. "Aha!" he said triumphantly as he brushed dust away from one grave and knelt down in front of it, suddenly feeling quite melancholy. Mistoffelees joined him, and holding up his light, read the words:

 _Here lies Unnamed._ _  
_ _Son of Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella._ _  
_ _Died aged 0._ _  
_ _Also Parrah_ _  
_ _Sister of Unnamed_ __  
Died aged 6 weeks

"Who were they, Dad?" he asked.

"Your aunt and uncle," Munkustrap replied. "My brother was killed by a rat, so soon after being born, that he didn't even get to be named. My sister died shortly after, from pneumonia, I think."

"Where was Nan?" Mistoffelees enquired.

Munkustrap shrugged. "Frigg knows!" he replied gruffly.

They sat in somber silence for a bit, then Mistoffelees commented, "Well, I think it's a shame."

"What is?" Asked Munkustrap.

"That your brother never got a name!" Exclaimed Mistoffelees. "I think we should give him one."

Munkustrap looked at him. "What? Now?"

"Yeah! Why not?" Mistoffelees replied with a shrug. "I mean, Unnamed? What? Just because he didn't live for very long...I mean he still lived, didn't he?"

"You're right," said Munkustrap. "Perhaps you'd like to give him a name?"

"Hmmm," Mistoffelees thought for a bit. "What did he look like?" He queried.

"I don't know, because I never saw him," Munkustrap responded.

"Why not?" Questioned Mistoffelees.

Munkustrap pointed to his face. "My eyes hadn't opened," he explained as though it were blindingly obvious.

Mistoffelees's eyes widened in comprehension as he nodded his head slowly, "Ooooh yeah! Hadn't thought of that." Then he made a decision. "Ok, how abooouuut...Kintano?" He tried.

"Kintano?" Munkustrap repeated.

"Yeah! It means 'shooting star' in Malagasy," Mistoffelees explained knowingly.

Munkustrap shrugged and said approvingly, "It makes sense I suppose. Kintano it is!"

As he said this, the letters forming the word ' _Unnamed_ ' changed into ' _Kintano_ ' and Munkustrap smiled. "May the Everlasting Cat be with you, Kintano," he said reverently, bowing his head and holding his paws in prayer.

Mistoffelees did the same. " _Now_ can we go?" he pleaded.

"Sure," Munkustrap agreed. "Lead the way!"

They started to pick their way amongst the gravestones, heading towards the entrance, when Mistoffelees suddenly stopped. "Oh wow! Check THIS out!" He exclaimed.

He held his light up to a particularly ornate gravestone with strange symbols carved into it, and read the words:

 _Here lies Dr Diavolo_ _  
_ _Our Great Magician_ _  
_ _Si em be mortalis u si presto kiv n*_  
(He maybe dead but his magic lives on)

"Who was  _he_?" He asked excitedly.

"Your predecessor," replied Munkustrap.

"Did you ever meet him?" Mistoffelees asked again.

"No!" Munkustrap scoffed. "Bast! I'm not  _that_ old! He died a looong time ago; back when Old Deuteronomy was still young, and apparently having lived to a great age!"

While Mistoffelees was distracted, something suddenly caught Munkustrap's eye. So, leaving his son to gush over his deceased forbear, he quietly made his way towards a lonely grave that was set slightly apart from the rest. As he approached it, he felt a painful knot in his stomach as though his insides were being tightly wrung out. He badly wanted to turn away. Run as far away from it as he could! But an even greater force kept his feet dragging towards it, until he finally collapsed down in front of it; his eyes tracing the words that he instantly recognised with a deep sense of regret:  
 _  
_ _Gaiana_ _  
_ _Daughter of Tarquinius and Lark_ _  
_ _Died aged 1_ _  
_ _Here also lies Paris_ _  
_ _Son of the above_ _  
_ _Stillborn_

And below that was another inscription, that was also far too familiar for comfort:

_I hurt you and in return you stole my heart,_ _  
_ _before leaving this life to get away from me._ _  
_ _You have gone and taken bits of me with you._ _  
_ _I am forever lost. I am dead inside._

"Shut up!" He muttered to no one in particular, just as a lump formed in his throat. He reached out to touch the cold limestone. But the second his fingers felt the rough, lichen encrusted rock, memories suddenly charged through his mind like an oncoming ghost train...

 _A young Balinese lay upon a thin mattress, in a filthy, blood smeared hospital bed. Her agonized shrieks were deafening in his ears as she writhed and struggled, while an older queen held her down. Another was busying herself at the other end of the bed, holding something small and bloody in her paws..._ _  
_ __  
The scene changed and he found himself lying in the mud, clutching a hammer and chisel in his calloused and bleeding paws. The driving rain came down and blinded him. The stinging droplets mingled with his tears as they spattered his face and soaked him to the skin. But he hardly felt it, least of all cared…

"Dad? Dad!"

Munkustrap gasped and blinked; realising he had tears running down his face. He quickly wiped them away, just as his Son came up behind and eyed him suspiciously. "You alright?" asked Mistoffelees with a look of concern mapping across his own face.

"Fine!" Munkustrap said quickly and glared at his son, knowing that he would be less suspicious if he did that seeing as it was his default facial expression anyway!

"Someone you knew?" Mistoffelees pressed on, his gaze flicking towards the gravestone which Munkustrap made absolutely no effort to introduce him to.

"None of your business!" Munkustrap growled. "Come on. Let's go. I have seen enough of this place that I ever want to see!"

Knowing better than to argue or question The Bengcoon's sudden drastic shift in mood, Mistoffelees shrugged and trotted towards the stairs with Munkustrap not far behind. Just before he got to the first step he turned back to look remorsefully at the forlorn grave one last time. "Sorry!" he whispered.

* * *

The two grimey toms eventually emerged from the office building as silently as they had entered it, blinking in the bright sunshine and shaking the dust from their fur. Then Munkustrap called to Jazzie who was still curled up fast asleep upon the dozing workman's lap. "Psst! Jazzie!"

"Huh? Oh!" She cried, startling awake.

She quickly jumped down and scampered to join them. "Did you find him?" she asked. "You were ever such a long time. I was starting to get worried!"

"Clearly!" chuckled Mistoffelees.

Jazzie narrowed her eyes at him, but then widened them again when Munkustrap showed her the box. "He's in here," he said gloomily. "Or at least, what's left of him anyway. Misto? I suggest we keep him in your den for now, what do you think? I've got too many youngsters who like to sneak into mine and the last thing I want is to find bits of Pos scattered all over the place. I dread to think how he'd react!"

Misto shrugged and said loftily, "Yeah OK, I guess. But it'll cost extra!"

Munkustrap rolled his eyes. Kids! Any excuse! "How much?" He sighed.

"Thirty shillings," stated Mistoffelees.

"Thirty..!?" Munkustrap spluttered. "Give over! Ten! And you're not getting a penny more!"

"Dad!" Griped Mistoffelees. "You are SUCH a cheap skate! Twenty five!"

Munkustrap chuckled condescendingly, "You're having a laugh, aren't you? Twenty. And that's my final offer. Take it or leave it?"

"Twenty three!" Mistoffelees demanded.

"Hey, don't push your luck with me, Sonny Jim!" Munkustrap chided. "Call it twenty two and I'll throw in a sixpence for good measure! How about that?"

"Done!" Mistoffelees agreed.

Mistoffelees held out his paw, but Munkustrap just stared at him incredulously. "What? Now!?" he asked.

"Yes, now," Mistoffelees replied. "Come on! Cough up!"

Grumbling something about being mugged by his own son, Munkustrap reluctantly produced some notes and coins from under his collar and handed them to the rather smug looking Magician. "Say," Mistoffelees said brightly. "I can show you my new invention now too!"


	20. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something for all you Misto freaks out there! I know there's quite a few of you!

The tired cats made their way to Mistoffelees's den, which looked similar to Munkustrap's except that it was much smaller and on two levels. The two floors were separated by a spiral staircase which was made from pieces of aluminium, old books and planks of wood, all held together with old nails and lengths of copper wire. Munkustrap carefully placed Poseidon's bones onto a shelf while Mistoffelees went about the usual ritual of making tea for everyone. "How is he going to do that?" thought Jazzie.

Looking around she noticed that, compared to Munkustrap's den (which was spotless to the point of absurdity) this den looked as though a bomb had hit it, with interesting odds and ends lying around everywhere. But the one thing she couldn't locate was a stove. "It's organised chaos!" Mistoffelees explained and with a wave of his paw three mugs of hot tea appeared on the messy wooden table which was strewn with papers, candles and test tubes filled with coloured liquids, much like Jazzie's own lab.

As she was drinking, a sudden thought struck her. She couldn't resist, she simply had to ask, "Could I have a look at ze bones?"

"Of course," said Munkustrap, fetching the box back down off of the shelf and setting it gently on the table. "Knock yourself out!"

Jazzie shot him a look of confusion. "Hein? What is zat supposed to mean?"

Munkustrap laughed, "Oh sorry, it's a saying. It means 'go ahead' or, should I say, 'aller de l'avant'!"

Jazzie shook her head, "You English are weird! Zat makes no sense!"

Then she looked at the table and realised that she could hardly see it through the mess that was on it! "I cannot work on here!" she stated.

"Why not?" asked Mistoffelees. " _I_ always do!"

"How!?"

Jazzie was completely mystified until Mistoffelees waved his paw over the table and the mess vanished like a distant memory. Then he stood back, folded his arms and grinned smugly at Jazzie, who smiled and elbowed him in the ribs, "Show off!"

Then she set about placing the bones on the table, examining each one intently before carefully positioning it. Very soon, the skeleton of a large adult jellicle cat was laid out before them and they all stood together in silence, taking it in. "It's so strange seeing him like this," Munkustrap commented. "Especially when I remember the cat that he was."

"We all end up like zis in ze end, Munkustrap!" chuckled Jazzie. "May as well get used to it!"

"What a sobering thought!" he exclaimed, shuddering.

Keen to change the subject, he asked, "So, what's the diagnosis, Doc?"

"Well," said Jazzie. "He was a large mature male. I can tell from ze small groves in ze bones zat he had very strong muscle attachments. See?" She picked up one of the humerus bones and showed it to them.

"So, in other words," said Mistoffelees. "He was built like a tank, is what what you're saying?"

"Oui, I'd say he was probably about ze same build as you, Munkustrap, possibly a little bit bigger and a few inches taller."

"Oh, he was an absolute giant of a tom!" Munkustrap agreed. "I am actually rather small as far as Protectors go. I only just made the height and weight requirement!"

Jazzie nuzzled his arm. "And I wouldn't want you any ozzer way!" she replied.

She shot a glare at Mistoffelees, who was pretending to vomit. "Anyway, it would seem zat zis individual had quite a colourful, if short, life. As you see here." She picked up a rib, "Zis sort of, rough area?"

"Is that a fracture?" asked Munkustrap.

"Oui. One zat healed. I have found many more, including zis one."

She selected a tibia which clearly showed the same excess bone growth. "Zis would have slowed him down," she said. "Which brings me to his skull. It's covered wiz pockmarks in ze shape of dog's teeth which he recovered from, but zere is one which almost certainly killed him. As you see here, I'm guessing he would have turned around and seen ze dog coming at him, but it would have been too late. And it must have been a big dog because, by ze looks of zings, it got him here and here." She pointed to either side of her temples, "Ze force of ze bite literally caved his skull in. Death would have been instantaneous, he wouldn't have suffered."

Mistoffelees winced as though he was feeling it himself. "That's what you said," he remarked, looking at Munkustrap.

"He was fairly young too," Jazzie continued. "From ze teeth, even zough many are missing, I'd say he was about…"

"Eight," said Munkustrap. "Yeah, we know."

Jazzie checked the box to see if she'd forgotten anything. "What is zis?" she asked, picking up the silver key.

"That's what we wanted to know," replied Mistoffelees. "Dad found it in the soil as he was filling in the hole."

Jazzie handed it to Munkustrap who held it up to the light and examined it. "I get the feeling that it is important," he said. "But I've no idea what it is for."

"Best keep it on you for now!" said Jazzie as she began to place the bones back inside the box as reverently as she could.

Tucking it underneath his collar for the time being, Munkustrap looked at Mistoffelees and asked, "So, what's this invention you were going on about?"

"Right here!" Mistoffelees announced, and with a flourish he removed a black curtain from the wall to reveal a wide oblong shaped screen.

Munkustrap frowned. "A television?" He asked, sounding a little underwhelmed.

"Ah! But not just any television!" replied his son and he pointed to the screen.

A laser beam of electric blue light suddenly shot out of his fingertip and hit the screen, which in turn began to crackle and fizz until a picture materialised. Then he waved his paw and all of a sudden, cushions and beanbags appeared on the floor. "Sit down, sit down! It's starting!" said the Magician enthusiastically, scooting everyone into a seat. "Ah Tensy! You're just in time!"

At that moment, Hortenseya walked through the door, looking a little surprised to find visitors. "Wow! What's the occasion?" she asked.

"I'll explain later!" said Mistoffelees impatiently, gently moving her to one of the bean bags and then settling down beside her just as the music started up.

"You see," explained Mistoffelees. "This screen will show me anything I want. And right now, what I want to see is-"

"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" asked Munkustrap, shooting him a look that said, " _Really_?"

"Yes dad! You'll love it!" Mistoffelees said brightly.

"If you say so," came the dry response.

"Say, what food have you got for this pregnant queen?" asked Hortenseya.

"Presto!" Mistoffelees waved his paw again and an array of titbits appeared in front of them.

There was fisheye popcorn, pork scratchings, dried minnows, dried shredded squid, deep fried octopus suckers, strips of laver, crab cakes, tuna and cheese popovers, fish crackling, chicken wings and many more delights. Jazzie leaned against Munkustrap, enjoying the film and the music immensely. "I'm having a wonderful time!" she whispered.

He put his arm around her. "Well, I'm glad, seeing as this week  _is_ all about  _you_ after all!"

"You have made me so happy!" She sighed.

"Aw!" Cooed Hortenseya. "You two are sooo cute! AREN'T THEY, Misto?" She glared at her mate, who was pretending to be sick again.

Munkustrap smiled and kissed Jazzie. "Me too," he whispered. "You're the only reason I'm tolerating this...drivel!"

He waved at the screen depicting the happy family sitting in a flying car; singing away at the top of their lungs, possibly the most irritating song that Munkustrap had ever heard.

"Misto?" he said.

"Yes?"

"I worry about you sometimes," was the next statement.

" _Bang bang chitty chitty bang bang, our fine four fendered friend ._..Oh really? Why's that then?" Mistoffelees asked destractedly.

Munkustrap sighed. "Never mind. I shall gather the Jellicles together tomorrow. Would you mind fetching Old Deuteronomy?"

"What's the gathering for?" asked Hortenseya.

They quickly explained that a pyre was to be built, Poseidon's bones were to be burnt and Old Deuteronomy would be there to conduct prayers, ensuring that Poseidon's spirit was finally laid to rest. "I wondered why you were both so grubby!" she chuckled to her mate.

* * *

When the film ended, Jazzie looked up at Munkustrap to ask him if he had enjoyed it, and couldn't help but smile. She caught Hortenseya's eye and they both giggled, looking lovingly at their gently snoring toms. Munkustrap stirred a little. "Oi you!" he mumbled. "Touch her again and I'll rip your teeth out of your skull and put them back in your eye sockets...don't say I didn't warn you…!"

"Nope..." Mistoffelees seemed to reply. "I will not go back in the cupboard...you can't make me…!"

The queens were forced to clap their paws over their mouths in order to stifle unbearable fits of giggles! Practically choking, Hortenseya shook her head. "Bless them...!" she managed, before laying her head on her mate's chest. Wiping tears from her own eyes, Jazzie followed suit and soon they were all out for the count!

* * *

 _"Daddy? Daaaaddy?"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Mert? That you mate? Where are you buddy?"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Daddy! I'm cold!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Don't worry, daddy's coming!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I want my daaaddyyy!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Baby, I'm here...!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Daaaddddyyyyyy!"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Meritas!"_ __  
  
Munkustrap jolted awake. A bright beam of moonlight shone into his eyes, so he blinked and looked around, noticing that the film had ended (thank God!), but the screen continued to crackle and fizz with tendrils of electricity which slowly dissipated, leaving behind a black screen. "Weird!" he thought. "I could have sworn I heard…"

But his little son was nowhere to be seen. He sighed bitterly. It had just been a dream, brought on by that cruel phenomenon known as 'hope'. That was all. His heart gladdened slightly when he saw Mistoffelees fast asleep with Hortenseya snuggled up next to him, and then he smiled at Jazzie, whose head was resting against his chest. With the skill of Houdini, he managed to extricate himself from the tangle of sleeping bodies and tiptoed out of the door.  _"No rest for wicked..."_  he thought.

* * *

Four hours later, Munkustrap made his way towards the Junkyard gym, having completed a lap of his territory. Luckily, it had been uneventful, save for the odd skittish fox and a bad tempered badger. As he pulled himself up into a handstand and 'walked' along the parallel bars, he suddenly noticed someone else swinging upside down from the high bar, so he made his way over and leapt up to join them. Together, they hung with their arms folded and eyes closed, gently swaying to and fro. Presently Munkustrap quietly spoke. "'Lonz?"

"Father," came the equally quiet reply.

"Discovered my secret, I see?"

"What secret?"

"You know. The whole bat impression thing?"

"Wha'? Oh yeah! Bats've got the right idea. Helps me think, you know?"

"You always did need help with that!" Munkustrap quipped.

"Shut up!" Alonzo answered moodily.

"Well, you left that door wide open!" Munkustrap continued to dig him.

Alonzo was quiet. Then, holding onto the bar with his paws, he flipped his body over and dropped gracefully to the ground. He was about to stalk off into the night without another word when Munkustrap, having also dropped to the ground in the same way, called him back. "Lonz, wait up!"

The black and white Bicolour stopped, but didn't turn around. "I know about what you did for me and I never got the chance to say thank you," Munkustrap explained, walking slowly towards him. "So I'm saying it now. You saved my life. Yet again."

Alonzo turned and met his father's turquoise and gold eyes with his odd coloured ones (one being green and the other one blue). "You know I'll always have your back, Dad," he replied with his famous half smile, but it quickly fell away. "But it wasn't enough this time. You would still have died if it hadn't been for Doctor Jazzie and Misto. All because I chickened out! You were right to drop me from the team. I'm no good!"

Munkustrap placed a paw upon his son's shoulder and firmly but kindly reminded him, "But I did not die, and I have ALL of you to thank for that. What you did showed quick thinking and great courage; all attributes of a good Protector. Which is why I have had a change of heart. I think you may be ready to rejoin the team."

Alonzo's face lit up. "You really mean that?" he almost squealed. "Oh thank you, thank you! I won't let you down!"

"You never did."


	21. The Final Goodbye

Logs were laid in the middle of the tyre clearing. Slowly but surely they were piled up with twigs, bits of scrap wood and anything else the cats could find until a modest pyre had been built. "Ere Tugger, will this burn?" Asked Alonzo, holding up a toaster.   
  
Rum Tum Tugger looked up from where he was busy sunning himself on the car bonnet and sluggishly replied, "Don't see why not. Yeah, chuck it on!"   
  
Alonzo shrugged and tossed it on top of the pile. Then he looked at it and scratched his head. "Do you think it's tall enough?" He asked.   
  
"Do I  _ look _ a pyre expert to you?" Rum Tum Tugger replied tersely.   
  
"You  _ said _ you were!" Alonzo said exasperatedly. "So that's why Munkustrap left you in charge of building this one while he's off teaching."   
  
"I'd say it could do with another couple of feet, then," Rum Tum Tugger said in a bored tone of voice.   
  
"You said that last time!" Alonzo replied through gritted teeth. "And are you actually going to do some work today or what?"   
  
"I  _ am _ working!" Rum Tum Tugger argued. "Recharging the batteries after the night I had is a serious business my man. Now off you go and build that pyre like a good kitten."   
  
"I'm  _ not _ a kitten!" growled Alonzo as he stomped off, passing Mungojerry and Rumpleteazer who were coming the other way with armfuls of God knows what.   
  
"Alright Tugger?" Mungojerry hollered. "Where didja say ya wanted me to put this stuff again?"   
  
"Stick it all on the pile my good man. And woman," Rum Tum Tugger said lazily.   
  
"Right you are, then!" And the duo did as they were instructed before stepping back to admire their handiwork.   
  
"Ere? Aintchoo gonna pay us? Darn't forget you owe us a pint!" said Mungojerry, looking suspicious. After all, a hard working criminal didn't do anything for nothing!   
  
"A promise is a promise," replied Rum Tum Tugger with a grin. "What did you want? Full cream, half fat, pasteurized, unpasteurized…I got loads to choose from?"   
  
Mungojerry spread his paws and shrugged. "I dunno, do I!? Milk's milk innit?"   
  
"Ya dunno whatcha talkin abaat Jerry, ya great wally, so shut your trap, innit!" Rumpleteazer piped up. "We want Full cream unpasteurized of course. None of that 'alf rubbish! How else ya sposed to make mum's junket? Mmmm! Juuuunket!" She licked her lips and sighed dreamily at the thought of one of her favourite foods.   
  
"Gotcha," said Rum Tum Tugger with a click of his fingers. "I'll pay you later, when the sun's gone in."   
  
"You better, Tugger!" yelled Rumpleteazer. "We didn't knick all this stuff for nothing, ya know!"   
  
The twins were about to argue some more, when they heard voices heading their way. "So Tugger? How is this pyre coming along?"   
  
"Smashing, Bro!" Rum Tum Tugger called back. "Take a good look for yourself!"   
  
Munkustrap arrived to inspect his brother's handiwork with about fifteen youngsters in tow, alongside Jemima and a young Cornish Rex with brown tabby markings and a brown patch over one eye, taking up the rear. Fully expecting there to be a pile of nothing in the middle of the clearing, Munkustrap was pleasantly surprised. "Wow Tugger that was quick! I'm impressed, if a little shocked!" He commended.   
  
"Have I ever let you down?" his brother replied.   
  
There was a long, drawn out silence. Then Munkustrap looked at his charges and smiled. "And this kittens,” he said, indicating the unfinished pyre, “Is how we build a- Hey! Wait a minute!" That was about the moment when he took a closer look.   
  
Before speaking again, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tugger?" He said quietly.   
  
"Yep?" Rum Tum Tugger asked, looking up and lowering his sunglasses.   
  
"I thought you said you were an expert?" Munkustrap queried suspiciously.   
  
"The one and only!" his brother replied, still grinning.   
  
"Then you will be well aware that, for a pyre, you need wood?" Munkustrap raised an eyebrow up at him as he said this. He kept his voice calm, but there was a slight edge to it, a bit like razor wire.   
  
Rum Tum Tugger shrugged apathetically. "Yeah? And?"   
  
"Why then, can I see a toaster on there?" Munkustrap demanded, taking another look of disbelief at the pyre. "Along with...tyres? What looks like an entire cutlery drawer and...is that my mug?"   
  
Mungojerry and Rumpleteazer looked at each other. "LEG IT!" they shouted and bolted for the entrance before Munkustrap could get hold of them.   
  
At that moment Alonzo appeared, hefting a car battery. "Can I put this on?" He asked cheerfully.   
  
"No. I don't think you can!" Munkustrap growled.   
  
"Oh? And why not?" questioned Alonzo. "Seems alright to me!"   
  
"Because!" Munkustrap replied exasperatedly. "This is meant to be a funeral ceremony, NOT Chinese New year!"   
  
"Yeah! Idiot! Geesh!" Rum Tum Tugger interjected with a sarcastic roll of the eyes, as though he hadn't put him up to it at all!.   
  
"I don't understand!" snapped Alonzo.   
  
"And there is the reason why I'M a protector and you're not!" Munkustrap muttered under his breath.   
  
"It was HIS idea!" Alonzo shouted, pointing at his conceited uncle who held up his paws in self defence.   
  
"Whoop! I'm staying outta this!" He said.   
  
"But I left you in charge!" said Munkustrap through gritted teeth.   
  
Rum Tum Tugger chuckled a flicked his paw at Alonzo. "Well I passed the charge over to 'Lonz here, seeing as he's the second in command," he explained casually.   
  
Alonzo's mouth fell open. "That is NOT TRUE-!" He started, but Munkustrap cut him off.   
  
"Tugger!" He hollered at his brother. "Either you come and fix this or I will take that toaster and stick it-!"   
  
"Sorry bro!" Rum Tum Tugger interrupted, giving himself a good stretch. "I'd love to stop and chat but, you know, things to do people to see, really must get on, BYE NOW!" And as he said that he casually wandered off, thumbs in belt, hips swinging from side to side as though he hadn't a care in the world. And the truth of the matter was, he really didn't!   
  
"Tugger! You get back here this-!" Munkustrap started to shout, but Rum Tum Tugger had already departed.   
  
"Oh! I could murder him sometimes!" Munkustrap groaned and began to massage his temples.   
  
"Um...Uncle?" said a timid voice.   
  
"Yes Jemima?" Munkustrap said wearily.   
  
"Maybe me and Tumblebrutus could help? And the kittens?" she suggested.   
  
"Hey! That's a good idea, that is Jems!" said Tumblebrutus giving her a nudge with his elbow.   
  
"No Tumble, it's a great idea!" Munkustrap conceded as he knelt down to kitten level and clapped his paws together to get their attention.   
  
"Right kits! Listen up!" He announced. "Who wants to build a big fire?"   
  
He was answered by an enthusiastic show of paws.   
  
"Me!"   
  
"Me!"   
  
"Me!"   
  
"And what do we need to build a fire? Do we need tyres?" he continued, talking in an animated way that was proven to keep little attention spans from wandering off!   
  
"NO!" They all cried.   
  
"Do we need toasters?" he asked.   
  
"NO!" They said again.   
  
Munkustrap spread his paws and finally quizzed, "Well, what do we need then?"   
  
"WOOD!" They shouted.   
  
"Very good!" He praised, ruffling a few of their ears. "I'll make guardians out of you yet!"   
  
_ "Because goodness knows I could use some common sense around here," _ he thought.   
  
He clapped his paws again. "Right! Let's see who can find the most wood!" He said.   
  
Then he gave his son a hard look. "Alonzo. Seeing as I now have to teach you how to build a fire, YOU'RE helping!" He told him sharply.   
  
"Yes dad!" grumbled Alonzo. "What can I do?"   
  
"Well. You can start by removing EVERYTHING from that pyre that is NOT made of wood," Munkustrap instructed and then asked in a sardonic tone. "You  _ do _ know what wood looks like I presume? Kind of brownish, comes from trees-?"   
  
Alonzo shifted awkwardly. "Er...There's quite a lot of stuff on there that's not wood…" he admitted.   
  
"Then you had better get cracking hadn't you!" Munkustrap replied over his shoulder as he began to head off with the excited group of kittens in tow.

* * *

At long last the pyre was completed just in time for sundown with not a toaster in sight. The Jellicles gathered solemnly together as Old Deuteronomy stood upon the tractor tyre to address the crowd. "You may be wondering why I gathered you all here tonight," he began. "Let me first begin by telling you a little bit about our fifteenth Protector, whom many of you may not remember, for he died before many of you were born. As well as being my son he was also a brave warrior who died protecting our tribe from a pack of vicious pollicles who held a vendetta against us. Before the wall was built and the humans rounded them up, they would frequently terrorize us and not a day went by when a cat was not either killed or maimed. One fateful day, during the jellicle Ball, we were the victims of a savage surprise attack. Many cats died but the pollicles also met their match, for my son fought them off and saved a great many more from abject slaughter. But it was while he was fighting that he met his end. As Finnslar the pollicle leader came at him from behind, he never stood a chance. However, while he may be dead, his spirit lives on. Trapped in the Astral plane for eternity, he helped our current Protector to return to us, for which we are so grateful. So I think it is only fair that we honour his request to be released from his prison and allow his soul to finally rest in peace."

He nodded to Mistoffelees, who nodded back and stepped up with the wooden box; placing it with great reverence onto the pyre. Then Old Deuteronomy nodded to Munkustrap who was holding a flaming torch in his paw. He too nodded back and dutifully stepped forward, thrusting it into the very heart of the log pile before taking a good step back as it began to smoulder and catch alight. "Goodbye, old friend," he whispered, while behind him the orphaned kittens watched the leaping flames with enthralled fascination.

"Here lie the bones of our fallen comrade," Old Deuteronomy continued. "May the flames release his soul into the arms of Bastet and may he find peace for all of eternity. May we also take a few moments to remember all those we have lost, including my Grandsons Meritas and Anchises, and of course, little Sophia." And in his deep baritone voice, he began to sing,

 _"I know your life_ _  
__On earth was troubled_ _  
__And only you could know the pain._ _  
__You weren't afraid to face the devil,_ _  
__You were no stranger to the rain."_ _  
__  
_ Like a gospel choir, they all joined in, _  
__  
__"Go rest high on that mountain_ _  
__Son, your work on earth is done._ _  
__Go to The Heaviside Layer shoutin'_ _  
__Love for The Everlasting Cat."_

Then Munkustrap came in with his tenor voice,

 _"Oh, how we cried the day you left us_ _  
_ _We gathered round your grave to grieve._ _  
_ _I wish I could see the angels faces_ _  
_ _When they hear your sweet voice sing."_

Before being joined by everyone else,

 _"Go rest high on that mountain_ _  
_ _Son, your work on earth is done._ _  
_ _Go to the Heaviside Layer shoutin'_ _  
_ _Love for The Everlasting Cat."_

(Go Rest High On That Mountain by Vince Gill with a few lyrics changed.)

As the fire died down to ash, a small ceremony was held for the burials of Sophia and Meritas's solo dancing shoe with Old Deuteronomy blessing each of their tiny graves by uttering a small prayer which was then etched into the stone. Sophia's read:

 _Here lies Gabrielle_ _  
_ _Parents unknown_ _  
_ _Age unknown_ _  
_ _Here also lies Sophia_ _  
_ _Daughter of the above_ _  
_ _Died aged 8 weeks_  
_Your life may have been short, but your impact was felt._

While Meritas's read:  
_  
__Meritas_ _  
__Son of Demeter and Munkustrap_ _  
__Missing presumed dead aged 4 weeks_ _  
__Forever loved, forever missed_

Being a solemn occasion, the festivities were far from joyous. So rather than the usual energetic singing and dancing the Jellicles slow danced around the clearing as though in a trance, with balletic movements which mirrored their sense of mourning and loss.

* * *

After awhile Jazzie went to rest on the tyre next to Bombalurina and there they sat in silence, watching the goings on until presently Bombalurina spoke. "I've had almost every tom in London," she stated, to no one in particular whilst absentmindedly placing a paw on her abdomen.

Jazzie looked at her sharply. "Zat's a lot of toms!" She exclaimed.

"Well, not actually ALL of them, but you get the idea," said Bombalurina with a shrug. "I'm a slut. It's what I do." She took a drag of her catnip cigarette.

Jazzie frowned. What was this about? "OK...so, why are you-?"

"Want to know  _why_ I sleep around?" Bombalurina asked, cutting her off as though she hadn't spoken.

"I'm not sure I-"

"Same reason all sluts sleep around. But they never do."

"Never do what?"

"All they see is this," explained Bombalurina, indicating her curvaceous figure. "They don't actually love ME-"

"Munkustrap loves you!" Jazzie interrupted.

"I thought he did," Bombalurina confessed. "I really wanted to believe it. But I think he loves the idea of me more than anything else. I mean he says all the right things, does all the right actions. But I know him. When he looks at me, I can see into his heart and it's not all there. I know I'll never be his number one. I'll never be anyone's number one. Not like you. They all want you, whereas I have to be content with picking up whatever's left over."

Jazzie was speechless. "But he does! He told me-!" She spluttered.

"Oh don't get me wrong," Bombalurina said quickly. "He loves all of us, of course he does! But he is IN love with Demeter. If he had to choose between any one of us he would choose her every time, mark my words. I don't think he even admits it to himself, but like I said. I know him."

Jazzie was perplexed. "Your cousin? Ze one who treats him like shit?"

"That's the one! Ironic isn't it!" Bombalurina smirked.

"That's the trouble with our Silver Knight," she continued. "None of us are allowed to have him all to ourselves and the time we spend with him is just a moment that we borrow. But alas! That's toms for you. They love you for a bit and then they're onto the next pretty thing. Not that we can blame them, mind, it's just the way their brains are wired. So I play them at their own game."

Jazzie shook her head. "No, you're wrong. Munkustrap is not like zat! He's different-!"

"I'll admit," Bombalurina cut in. "He is one of the good ones. One of life's rare gems. But don't let that fool you. Take it from someone who knows about these things."

* * *

While this conversation was going ahead, Munkustrap and Demeter were standing awkwardly side by side in front of their son's makeshift grave. Munkustrap heard her sniffing and looked sideways at her. He tentatively tried to touch her paw, but she moved it away. "Do you mind?" She hissed. "I am  _trying_ to mourn my son."

" _Our_ son," Munkustrap quietly corrected her.

She said nothing, stubbornly focusing her attention upon the marble headstone in front of her and not even glancing in his direction. So he took a deep breath. "Demeter," he said.

She didn't respond. "Demeter!" He was losing patience with her now!

"What?!" She snapped.

"We need to talk."

"About what?" She said coldly.

"About us!"

"What about us?"

"There is no us!" he snapped, rounding on her.

The colour appeared to have drained from beneath her fur. "Wh-what do you mean?" she stuttered.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. But I have been thinking about it for awhile and I think it might be for the best if you and I do not see each other, at least for the time being..."

She was shaking her head. "No, this isn't what I want…!" She cried.

"It is not about what you want," Munkustrap replied. "But what is for the best. Surely you can see that the two of us constantly at each other's throats is not what is best. Not for you, me or the tribe. Perhaps we would better off as just friends-?"

"I thought you loved me…!" she said quietly.

"Oh, I do," he replied fervently. "I just don't want to fight with you anymore."

Suddenly her expression changed from one of shock to one of dark fury. "This is about her isn't it?" she simmered. "You're leaving me for that slut!?"

"I told you not to call her that!"

"I'll call her whatever I fucking like!" She shrieked.

Then her voice changed again and she began to beg, her eyes wild and desperate,

_"Tell her you're mine_

_That you have been blind_ _  
_ _Tell her it's over_ _  
_ _And you belong to me_ _  
_ _Tell me to come_ _  
_ _And like hell I will run_ _  
_ _Back into your arms_ _  
_ _'Cause you belong to me_ _  
_ _There's a river on my skin_ _  
_ _There's a dragon in the dark_ _  
_ _Nothing scares me more_ _  
_ _Than the silence of your heart_ _  
_ _If you wanna hold me_ _  
_ _If you wanna know me again_ _  
_ _If you wanna love me_ _  
_ _Than take me home_ _  
_ _I've been at the bottom_ _  
_ _The deep end of the ocean_ _  
_ _Barely surviving by the dark side of her street_ _  
_ _Tell her you belong to me_ _  
_ _She'll never win_ _  
_ _I'm not giving in_ _  
_ _No matter how long_ _  
_ _I still be hanging on_ _  
_ _This kind of love_ _  
_ _I'm not giving up_ _  
_ _So tell her, tell her_ _  
_ _Tell her you were fooling_ _  
_ _Yeah_ _  
_ _If you wanna hold me_ _  
_ _If you wanna know me again_ _  
_ _If you wanna love me_ _  
_ _Just take me home_ _  
_ _I've been at the bottom_ _  
_ _The deep end of the ocean_ _  
_ _Barely surviving by the dark side of her street_ _  
_ _Tell her you belong to me!"_

(Tell Her You're Mine by Beth Hart)

"I'm afraid I cannot do that," he said dismissively.

"Why not?" she demanded.

"Because I need her, Demi," he confessed, softening his tone until there was almost a plea in his voice too. "Either both of you stay, or one of you goes. That is your choice. Do you accept her?"

"Never!" She exclaimed.

"Then you must go," he told her.

Her mouth fell open in disbelief. "You-you choose that floozy over me? After I have been loyal!?"

"It hasn't been easy for you though has it?" he muttered.

"I don't know what you mean!" She spluttered.

"Oh I think you do," he responded. "You see. I had a very interesting conversation with Macavity right before-"

"So-?"

"They're not mine are they?" he cut her off.

"What do you-?"

"Meritas, Ajax, Cindykit. They're HIS. Aren't they?" he repeated.

"No! No!" She fervently shook her head.

"I don't believe you."

"Would I lie to you-?"

"I honestly don't know anymore," he admitted. "You say you love me Demeter, but why don't I feel it? I mean, you don't even close your eyes when I kiss you. You don't look at me when I make love to you. So where are you, my love, if you're not with me?"

She was quiet.

"Just as I thought! Well at least you won't have to lie to me anymore!" Munkustrap said sadly and started to walk away, but she grasped his paws and looked desperately into his eyes.

"Munkustrap!" She pleaded. "Don't do this! Please! None of us are exactly saints in all of this are we? Hell, she's a lying little cheat too so why choose that fucking whore over me?"

"She's not a whore, so don't let me hear you calling her that ever again! That was your final warning!" and as he uttered those final words he showed her his teeth.

She shook her head in dispair. "But why-?" she sobbed.

"Because she loves me, that's why!" He cut her off. "She doesn't just try to! In her eyes I can do no wrong, whereas in your's I can never do anything right. And I have grown weary of trying, Demeter-"

" _I_ love you-!" She began.

He shook his head, sadly. "No. You don't," he said quietly. "It's just the idea of me that you love, and it stinks of guilt. Oh what? You think I don't know where your heart truly lies? I've known for longer than you think, but it is no longer worth my while trying to pretend that it doesn't bother me. Loyal? Pah! You make me sick!" He clearly enunciated the final words, practically spitting them.

Then he prized her paws off of his and let them drop limply to her sides before turning his back on her and walking away. "Nooo!" She screamed and tried to grab him, but he roughly shoved her away.

She stumbled backwards but was caught just before she fell by Alonzo, who had been watching the proceedings as they unfolded from a safe distance. She collapsed into her half brother's arms, crying and sobbing, but Munkustrap didn't turn around. Instead he made his way over to Bombalurina, swiftly snatched the cigarette out of its holder and took a long drag before replacing the stub back inside the holder; leaving Bombalurina looking temporarily stunned and ever so slightly miffed. "I was enjoying that!" she complained.

"Well you shouldn't have been!" he replied, seating himself next to her.

"You never minded before!" she pouted. "And besides, I thought you'd given up!"

"I have," he replied. "But  _someone_ has to stop you from harming your kittens!"

He turned to her and held her paws. "Or should I say,  _our_ kittens."

She stared at him, realisation slowly catching up. "How do you feel about it?" she asked tentatively.

"My dear, you know that as long as you are happy, then I am happy," he replied. " _Are_ you happy?"

"Well, I couldn't possibly be anything else now, could I?" She chuckled.

"I am not sure how they will see it though," he said, looking around until his gaze landed, first on Demeter, and then on Rum Tum Tugger.

"Who says they have to find out?" she suggested.

"Oh, they will!" He warned. "But, we shall cross that bridge when we come to it!"

"In the meantime," she said apologetically. "I think I  _may_ have just upset someone. Bomby Bigmouth strikes again! Sorry."

Looking over, Munkustrap's heart sank when he spied a meek creature who was sitting all by herself, looking as glum as he felt. So he gave Bombalurina's paws a final parting squeeze and walked over to the forlorn Snowshoe. He crouched down in front of her, but she didn't look up; seeming far too fascinated with the task of picking at her toe claws to acknowledge his presence. "What's the matter, Snow Boots?" he asked.

She sniffed, but said nothing.  
"Oh dear, what have I done now?" he said jokingly. "I only left you on your own for a few minutes!"

The flippant comment seemed to have an effect because he got a small response. A slight shift followed by a heavy sigh told him he was one step closer to the truth. "Talk to me Jazzie," he pleaded. "Whatever it is, surely it cannot be that bad?"

"Bomby says you don't love me!" she confessed and pouted, without looking up.

Munkustrap couldn't help but laugh, "Bomby said that? Jazz, that's absurd!"

"Is it?" She said accusingly. "She seemed to know what she was talking about!"

"Bomby is very good at stirring up shit, if nothing else!" he muttered, glaring over at the russet Queen who was socialising with another group of cats and had her back to him.

Was he about to lose two queens tonight? "Look!" He grabbed her paw and held it to his heart.

"You see?" he said desperately. "It dances like this for no one else, believe you me! How much more proof do you need?"

He managed to catch her eyes and locked onto them so that she could not tear her gaze away. "What Hell have I not been through for you?" he reminded her. "Think on that. Does none of my pain count for anything? Please do not torture me further with another rejection. I cannot face another goodbye tonight!"

This time it was her turn to laugh. "Tu imbecile! I will never say goodbye! Even if you decide to."

She put her arms around his neck and he held her tenderly. "I won't!" he whispered.

Then he straightened up and hauled her to her feet. "Come!" he said, loud enough for everyone else to hear. "I don't know about you, but I could do with a dance. Who's with me?"

The Jellicles all cheered and not a single one remained seated. Even Demeter managed to stumble to her feet with a little help from Alonzo.

"And this time," he continued. "We shall not dance for sorrow, but for joy! Together, let us celebrate what we know to be perilously fragile, not to mention infinitesimally short. Let us waste no more of our precious time on unhappiness, but be glad that we are, for now at least, alive! And Jazzie. NEVER again be in any doubt as to my feelings for you!

 _If your world has only done you wrong_ _  
_ _And all you find yourself is all alone_ _  
_ _And if there's no one there to see you through_ _  
_ _I'll be there for you_ _  
_ _  
_ _And in your darkest hour I'll be light_ _  
_ _I'll be your beacon through the longest night_ _  
_ _Like Samson and Delilah once again_ _  
_ _Until the bitter end_ _  
_ _  
_ _There is nothing that anyone can say to me_ _  
_ _To persuade me to change my mind needlessly_ _  
_ _For here I am and I will stay_ _  
_ _To long for you in every way_ _  
_ _To love you better, come what may_ _  
_ _To fight for you another day, day, day_ _  
_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _  
_ _There is nothing that anyone can say to me_ _  
_ _To persuade me to change my mind needlessly_ _  
_ _For here I am and I will stay_ _  
_ _To long for you in every way_ _  
_ _To love you better, come what may_ _  
_ _To fight for you another day, day, day_ _  
_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me_ _  
_ _Come unto me!"_

(Come Unto Me by The Mavericks)

* * *

By midnight the ceremony had ended and one by one the cats filtered away back to their respective homes until finally, Munkustrap and Jazzie were alone. "Come with me," he said. "I have something to show you."

"What is it?" she asked with intrigue.

"It's a surprise!" He told her. "Close your eyes."

She looked at him suspiciously. "Why? What you going to do to me?"

"You're getting ahead of yourself, my dear!" he chuckled. "Trust me! I'm not going to do anything. I promise!"

"Ok…"

She gave him one last suspicious glare, then closed her eyes and allowed him to guide her to a secluded corner of the scrapyard. "Et voila!" he announced. "Open your eyes!"

Jazzie did so and gasped. "Je n'en crois pas mes yeux! I was not expecting zat!" *1

Plonked in front of a stack of white goods, as though it had descended from outer space, sat an old pedal harp. It's lacquer and gold filigree decorations were flaking, but it still looked a handsome thing! "Wow!" she exclaimed as she ran her paws over the smooth sound board. "It's beautiful! Where did it come from?"

"I don't actually know!" Munkustrap admitted. "But I'm guessing that some orchestra was having a clear out because we've had a few instruments turn up in the last few weeks. There's a grand piano over on the other side, plus I found violins, flutes, trombones, a xylophone and even a bassoon! You just never know what will turn up sometimes!"

"But how did you know I played?"

"I didn't!" he said, taken aback. "I mean, you do? I just thought you might be interested…"

"Venir ici!" *2

She led him by the paw to where the body of the harp was being propped up by an old microwave. This made a perfect seat for two, with her perched in front and him nestled in just behind her. He wrapped his arms around her as she lifted up the knee, placed body of the harp against her right shoulder and began to tune it, delicately plucking the catgut strings (which even Munkustrap had to admit was a bit macabre!) and twisting the little tuning pegs until it resonated perfectly. Then he watched, entranced, as she began to play, with her fingers brushing the strings like peacock feathers to produce a waterfall of golden sound.

 _"The first time, ever I saw your face_ _  
_ _I thought the sun rose in your eyes_ _  
_ _And the moon and the stars_ _  
_ _Were the gifts you gave_ _  
_ _To the dark, and the endless skies_ _  
_ _My Love_ _  
_ _  
_ _And the first time, ever I kissed your lips_ _  
_ _I felt the earth move in my hands_ _  
_ _Like the trembling heart_ _  
_ _Of a captive bird_ _  
_ _That was there, at my command_ _  
_ _My Love_ _  
_ _  
_ _And the first time, ever I lay with you_ _  
_ _I felt your heart so close to mine_ _  
_ _And I knew our joy_ _  
_ _Would fill the earth_ _  
_ _And last, til the end of time_ _  
_ _My Love_ _  
_ _And last, 'til the end of time_ _  
_ _My love_ _  
_ _  
_ _The first time, ever I saw_ _  
_ _Your face_ _  
_ _Your face_ _  
_ _Your face_ _  
_ _Your face!"_

(The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flack)

She turned around and kissed him deeply. "Last one back to your den is a rotten egg!" she whispered.

"That'll be you then!"

"Hey!"

* * *

As the Summer Sun rose over Thames Scrapyard, two lovers lay cuddled up fast asleep; together at last. One dreamed of him, while the other was having an altogether different experience of slumber...

Munkustrap stood in the middle of the tyre clearing surrounded by apparitions of enormous cats, none of whom he recognised. He felt slightly intimidated, mainly because they were all twice his size! Still, he was a Protector and therefore, needs must. So his ears flattened and he got ready to fight. But then a cat stepped forward, one that he did recognise. "Poseidon!?" He exclaimed. "I thought you'd moved Upstairs?"

"I had," Poseidon replied. "But I found it all rather dull to be quite frank with you, so I convinced Ma to let us out."

"What do you mean us?" asked Munkustrap dubiously.

Then it dawned on him as to exactly who these cats were; as Poseidon stood proudly with the group of fourteen ex Protectors. "I took your life, Brother," he explained. "Think of this as my way of compensating you. I have watched over you since the day you were born, you didn't think a small detail like being  _dead_ would stop me did you?"

"Uh, this is all very nice, but really, there's no need…" Munkustrap stammered.

"Don't worry, Brother. We won't be badgering you every five seconds. We will only appear when we are needed. A Protector never leaves his post after all. Oh, and about that key…"

* * *

***1 I can't believe my eyes!**

***2 "Come here!"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *1 I can't believe my eyes!  
> *2 Come here!
> 
> What about the key? What is it for? I don't know either. Gimme some ideas people! Find out what happens to the happy couple in the next instalment of The Munkustrap Series, which I have written...but I will write more...soon!
> 
>  
> 
> “Um, Purplesprout?”  
> “Yes Munkustrap?”
> 
> “Could I maybe have a quick word?”
> 
> “Sure, fire away!”
> 
> “Ok, about your story…”
> 
> “What's wrong with it?”
> 
> “Well, nothing. I really like it, it's just that…”
> 
> “What? Is it too long? I can make it shorter…!”
> 
> “No, No, the problem is this. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME? Why can't someone else get mauled to within an inch of their lives, for once? It's always me!”
> 
> “Oh come on Munkustrap, all I did was nearly kill you and make you suffer a few broken bones and some lacerations, not that much. Plus you make a full recovery and then you get to use the sympathy vote to get it on with the ladies! Win win!”
> 
> “Oh right, well, I guess that does make it okay then…”
> 
> “It does…?”
> 
> “No! No it doesn't! I'm sick of being hurt all the time, why can't you lot give me a break?”
> 
> “Because hurting you is fun, maybe?”
> 
> “So is skinning a live chicken!”
> 
> “You do that for fun?”
> 
> “No! It's a Jellicle saying, I have no idea what it means! Do you lot hate me that much?”
> 
> “Now come on, you're being all grumpy again! Now be a good kitty and get back in the story!”


End file.
